The Jewish Dog (12 page)

Lars
,
who was always roller-skating
,
would often take me on walks
,
and Paul took me once to visit his father's shop
.
His father worked in a shop with a high ceiling
,
and huge hunks of meat hanging from hooks
.
Paul and his father collected a great number of quality pig bones for me.

Richard was Georg's best friend
,
but not mine
.
At first
,
Richard was very nice to me
.
He gave Georg much advice on how to best raise me
,
how to make me an obedient and disciplined dog
,
and how to turn me into a proper attack dog
.
He also helped Georg rid me of fleas and trim my nails
.
Richard had a strange odor
,
and I was quite sure that he had another dog in his life
.
I was not mistaken
.
Richard was the proud owner of Starky
.
I have no idea why I felt so hostile toward Starky
.
I think I was scared of him
,
but equally respected him
.
However
,
the thought of him placing a paw in my house was unthinkable.

When Richard attempted to call upon us with his dog
,
I barked
,
enraged
,
prepared to fight my last fight
.
Starky was a wolfish dog with a thick coat of fur and a wide skull
.
From the moment he set foot in my doorway
,
I was set to attack
.
I ran toward the door
,
barking as though I was possessed
.
Starky responded with barks of his own that resonated from the bottom of his lungs
,
indicating great power.

“Wilhelm
,
quiet
!
Quiet
!
Quiet
,
Wilhelm!” Frau Dürer tried to subdue my barking
.
“What's gotten into you? Who taught you to bark like that? What is this savagery?”

Her protest silenced me but for a brief moment
.
As soon as the door opened just a crack
,
I began barking again
,
and Starky pulled on his leash
,
barking at me twice as ferociously
.
We both bared our teeth and began snapping at the air
.
This was no game – my determined barks said it all – if this dog enters
,
blood will be spilled.

Hildegard held my collar and turned me away with her leg
.
“Maybe it would be better if you came over without Starky,” she said through the crack in the door
.
“I don't think our dogs get along.” I wouldn't back down and kept barking
,
so Frau Dürer called her son
.
“Come on
,
Georg
,
take your crazy canine.”

Georg ran down from his room
,
and took me out for a lengthy walk
.
On the way
,
we met his classmate Beate and her father
.
“So
,
what's new at home?” Beate's father asked
.
Georg eagerly told Beate and her father about my exploits
.
He told them proudly of my might
,
and how I chased Starky away with my intimidating barks
.
“You should have seen Starky,” he told them
.
“He almost died of fright
.
He was lucky my mother wouldn't open the door
.
Wilhelm would have torn him to pieces in seconds.”

Over dinner
,
Frau Dürer told her husband about the day's events and mentioned my wild behavior when Richard came with his dog.

Theodor wasn't surprised
.
“Yes,” he said
.
“Twice now on our morning walks with the dogs
,
Richard's father and I have met
.
It's clear the dogs aren't going to be the best of friends
.
I think there's a conflict between them over who's stronger and more dominant
.
Thankfully
,
while they're hardly sympathetic toward one another
,
they fear each other
,
and when they meet
,
they don't go beyond barking and flexing their muscles.”

“I don't understand how these animals' minds work
.
How do you understand Wilhelm so much better than I do? Maybe it's because you men are so like dogs!”

Naturally
,
Frau Dürer was half joking
,
and she smiled at her husband.

“Do you really believe that?” her husband asked and came closer to her
.
He stood by her side and held her shoulders affectionately.

“At times,” she replied.

“I think that in most ways
,
we are better than dogs
,
but in other ways
,
we have a great deal to learn from them.”

“It wouldn't hurt men to learn a little loyalty from them. . . 
.
I'm not talking about you
,
of course
,
but if we were to take your commandant
,
for example. . . .”

“If I may defend my kind
,
I'd like to point out that we do not defecate in the middle of the road!”

“Depends when
.
And besides
,
you men are even more bloodthirsty than dogs
.
You're always out looking for fights
.
Men don't just bark and flex their muscles. . . .”

They spoke on
,
but I
,
getting the whiff of a cat fight in the yard
,
went off to bark from the window
.
The cats turned to and fro looking for the source of the barking
,
and then went on their way
.
I looked at the world spread out before me
.
It was not my first time looking out a window this way
,
but this time everything looked different
.
This world was completely threat-free
.
Now this world was mine
,
bright
,
and without any obstacles
.
The Dürers didn't fear every government official that passed by
.
Soldiers didn't make them shiver
,
and even rowdy groups of misbehaving teenagers didn't scare them
.
Life without the burden of fear was infinitely nicer
.
I could breathe without that burning sensation
,
without suffocation
.
The air around the house had no stench of fear.

At nightfall
,
after Hildegard turned off all the lights and the two parents kissed their son goodnight
,
Georg invited me into his bed and spent an hour rubbing my belly.

“Can you keep a secret?” he asked me
.
“And even if they torture you
,
you won't tell anyone?” Then he hugged me
,
rested my head on his chest and petted my neck
,
and called me “Beate.” He kissed me a few times until he fell asleep
.
Under the cover of night
,
his parents sneaked into our room
.
I opened a single eye
,
and they signaled that I should keep quiet and still
.
Theodor was holding some kind of strange box in one hand and a stick in the other
.
He turned the box toward us
.
There was a click
,
and a spark of light flew out of the stick
.
Georg's parents stood for a few more moments watching us
,
as the sight of their child
,
dreaming sweet dreams
,
hugging child's best friend
,
melted their hearts.

CHAPTER 18

E
ven though I walked into the kitchen when they were already deep in the conversation
,
I distinctly remember what was said.

“Of course it'll be hard for me,” Frau Dürer said
,
“but you simply cannot miss this opportunity
.
Theodor
,
I know this isn't a simple decision
 . .
 
.
and ultimately
,
it's your decision to make
.
But it's important to me that you know I'm one hundred percent behind you
,
and I think you should send them an affirmative answer
.
You know that many officers wait in line for years for such an offer to come their way.”

“You don't know how difficult it is for me to leave you like this. . . 
.
By the way
,
when do you plan on telling your parents?”

“I prefer to wait a while
,
perhaps at the beginning of my second trimester.”

“They'll be angry when they discover that I left you in such a state.”

“I'll tell them that I forced you,” his wife said soothingly
.
“Besides
,
I'm sure you'll get a few days of leave in the spring.”

“And what will you do with Wilhelm? It'll be hard for you to take him out
.
He's much stronger than he looks
.
Sometimes he tugs on the leash so hard that my shoulder practically comes out of its socket.”

“You don't need to worry. . . 
.
Truly
,
Theodor
,
I'm asking you
,
don't worry
.
I'm strong enough to take him out for his walks
.
And Georg will help too.”

“Georg will be sad. . . .”

“Georg will understand that you're doing this for him
,
more than for anyone else
.
You see Georg as though he's still crawling around in his diapers
.
Georg is not a baby anymore
.
He's quite the little man.”

Theodor fell silent and mulled over the matter.

“Think about it,” his wife said
.
“Your salary will be doubled
,
and you'll be able to buy him whatever he wants
.
Besides
,
he'll be so proud
.
You know how his friends will look at him when he tells them that his father is the commander of the Waffen-SS cadet course
.
You'll make Georg a hero!”

One month later (I always followed the waxing and waning of the moon) the first letter came
.
Georg sat attentively as Frau Dürer read it to him.

“Dear Hildegard
,
Georg
,
and Wilhelm,”

Upon hearing my name
,
I joined the two
,
seating myself at Georg's feet and listening to every word.

“My first few days have been full of activities from dawn to dusk
,
and yet I found time to write to you
.
The previous commander of the camp
,
Herr Opitz
,
will be here next week as well
,
to continue training me
.
Without his help
,
I'd probably be lost
.
We have excellent chefs here
,
so you needn't worry
,
I won't be tightening my belt
.
In less than two weeks the new cadets will arrive
,
and everything must be ready by then
.
I still haven't been paid my first salary
,
but as I understand
,
from the beginning of next month
,
I'll be receiving a salary
,
slips for laundry
,
clothing and shoes
,
and small change for cigarettes and newspapers. . . .”

At this point I lost interest and went searching for the source of an annoying buzzing sound emanating from the vicinity of the window
.
I had guessed correctly – a large fly was stuck in the space between the window and the screen
.
I tried to swipe at it with my paw
,
but the glass pane stood between me and the pleasure of squashing it.

I returned to the kitchen where Frau Dürer was reading the last lines of the letter
.
“When I get my new ranks
,
I'll send Georg my old ones
.
If he's taking good care of his mother
,
he deserves them more than I
.
And last but not least
,
I have a short message for our dear Wilhelm
.
Please read it to him
.
I'm sure he's smart enough to understand.”

Hildegard followed her husband's instructions
.
She looked at me and read on.

“Wilhelm
,
you have an important job now too
.
You must not tug on the leash too fiercely
,
and help Georg take care of Mother
.
I know you're an exceptional dog
,
and I have the utmost trust in you!”

I was filled with a sense of pride that I had never known before
.
Frau Dürer looked back at her son and read the last line, “I miss you all very much
,
Theodor.”

She wiped away a tear and stroked her son's head
.
“I'll write back to him
,
and leave you a few lines at the end to write your own message.”

“And then can I go over to Lars's with Wilhelm?”

“After you write
,
you can go to Lars's
,
but please be back by nine
,
and don't forget to send my regards to his parents.”

Hildegard applied a deep red lipstick and kissed the letter.

“Oh dear
,
it seems my lipstick is almost empty,” she said
.
“Tomorrow I'll go buy a new one.” She applied the rest of her lipstick to my paw and added my own signature to the letter.

“We can write ‘Wilhelm's signature' next to it,” Georg suggested.

“There's no need
,
darling.” His mother smiled at him
.
“Father will understand.”

The next day
,
after Georg left for school
,
Hildegard took the leash and hooked it to my collar
.
“Wilhelm,” she said in a didactic tone
,
“now we're going to the post office to buy stamps and send Theodor the letter
.
I ask that you behave yourself
,
and please don't bark too loudly
.
It's hard for me to walk
,
and I have a slight headache.” I trotted obediently by her side
,
enjoying the soft
,
refreshing drizzle
.
I swear
,
I tugged on my leash only once
,
and even then it was an accident
.
Head high
,
I strode at her heel
,
ignoring the food scraps on the ground
,
the opportunities to sniff
,
and the dogs passing by
.
I am on duty
,
my proud stride announced
.
I am protecting my lady and I have no time for trivialities.

Upon returning home from the post office
,
we were surprised to find two SS officers waiting by our front door.

“Frau Dürer?” they asked.

“Yes,” she said distractedly
,
rummaging for the keys in her purse
.
“What is this about?”

One of them held a bouquet of flowers
,
the other an official envelope.

“Good morning
,
Frau Dürer,” the holder of the envelope said in a low voice
.
“My name is Adolf Sturm and this is my adjutant
,
Fredrick Bachfeld
.
I was your husband's commander
.
May we please come in?”

“Did something happen?” she asked
,
her voice tightening
.
“Did something happen to Theodor?”

“I'm afraid your husband was hurt
.
He was driving a motor­cycle last night. . . . 
.
May we please come in?”

“Yes
.
Yes
,
of course.”

The three sat on the couches and Adolf picked up from where he had left off
.
“I saw him turning toward the gate
,
he waved at me
.
A minute later
,
the alarm sounded and everyone settled in their machine gun positions
.
We were having a base-wide exercise
.
One of the new cadets wasn't careful
,
and he shot off a volley of bullets
.
One of the bullets hit your husband's leg and he overturned on his motorcycle. . . 
.
He was killed on the spot. . . 
.
He was a commander in his soul
.
Not just someone who orders others around
.
He believed in setting an example
.
He loved working with his soldiers
.
He was one of the most devoted officers I know
.
You have every reason in the world to be proud of him.”

Hildegard gaped at the two officers
,
dumbstruck.

“We found this letter on his desk
,
I believe it's for you.”

I could tell by the movements of her head – back and forth
,
up and down – that she read the letter several times
.
Her gaze traveled here and there
,
as though she was lost inside her own house
.
Her entire body began to shake
.
She pulled her hair with her hands and a short moan of raw pain escaped her
.
Then she began weeping
.
“No,” she mumbled through her tears
.
“This can't be happening.”

“Frau Dürer,” Adolf said
,
“I know that in moments like these
,
nothing can be of comfort
.
But I want you to know
,
and I mean every word that I say
,
you are not alone
.
The SS family and the entire German people are with you
.
You can come to me for anything you need
,
any time.”

“This is the phone number for our office,” the adjutant said
,
and placed a piece of paper on the table
.
“I'll be over again next week to see if there's any way I can help.”

Hildegard stared at him and said nothing.

I sat down by her and laid my head on her lap.

“Why? Why?” she asked me
.
“Tell me
,
Wilhelm
,
why?”

The officers sitting on the other sofa exchanged glances without a word.