The Miting (17 page)

Jacob and Leah wandered out to the area where chairs and blankets had been spread under a giant oak. It was quiet and a little chilly outside, but she was happy to have a few minutes out of the public eye. They sat down on a brightly patterned quilt, and she rested her head against the tree. Jacob barely spoke, but she felt his gaze on her from time to time. She was tired, but she still had the dinner and singing to attend.

“Sara and Daniel are truly married now, Jacob. It’s hard for me to imagine he’ll be living on his own.”

“They’re lucky to have a house to go to right away. Not so many have that luxury.”

“Yes. The empty
dadihaus
turned out to be a good thing for my brother.”

“They’ll do fine, Leah.” He took her hand. “Maybe we’ll have that kind of luck someday.”

Leah smiled, the feeling of his hand on hers causing her mind to speed forward—seeing the future—their church membership—their wedding day—their family. Suddenly, the thought of all those years stretching ahead, being Amish for the rest of her life—always
doing
, never questioning—dimmed her smile. Could she ever again think of living and dying Amish without panic rising to choke her dreams? She moved back slightly from Jacob, and eased her hand from his. The look of puzzlement she glimpsed in his eyes tugged at her heart.

I’m not being fair to him. He doesn’t understand that my worries are not about him, but about the church. About being Amish.

Just as she was wondering how to explain, a small group of women approached the tree from behind them, not seeing the two under the canopy of branches. Before Jacob or Leah could greet them, they heard the ladies’ laughter. Leah caught Martha’s name, followed quickly by her own.

“And that Martha Mast, she’s going to be banned for sure, if she ever decides to join church. I’ve never seen such willful disobedience from a girl. And Leah! If that were
my
daughter …”

“It makes me wonder why the bishop hasn’t already warned Martha she’s in deep trouble if she keeps this up. She’s an
awful
influence on the young people.”

“She hasn’t joined the church yet. He can’t really put the ban on her, but he could ask her parents to show her how it will feel to be shunned. That might get her attention.”

“And what
about
Leah Raber? She’s almost as bad, though some would say that going to an
Englisher
Bible study isn’t nearly so wild, but getting involved with those Schrocks! It’s like she’s trying to be English. When I asked her
maem
, she shook her head and said no, like I was making that up, or something.”

“
Ja.
It’s best to nip that kind of behavior in the bud while you can. Her parents are good people; it’s a shame—”

At this point, Jacob cleared his throat and the ladies became aware of Jacob and Leah’s presence. They stopped talking mid-sentence but were sensitive enough to turn red at their blunder.

“Good afternoon.” Jacob nodded to the ladies. They nodded back, glanced at Leah, and hurried back to the house.

Leah stood, her heart beating wildly and her cheeks flaming at what she’d heard. She had to get away from the talk and the scrutiny. Her feet turned automatically toward home.

“Leah,” Jacob called softly. She stopped, waiting for him to come near.

“Don’t pay attention to those ladies. They don’t know the real you or what you’re going through.”

Her eyes filled with tears. “That’s just the problem. No one understands what I’m going through. No one.”

Jacob tilted his head, pushing his hat back. He studied her, a sudden longing covering his face. “I’d like to understand, Leah. You could help me understand.” He reached out and wiped a tear from her cheek. His touch was gentle and kind—everything Jacob did for her was gentle and kind.

She swallowed.
Why can’t I just give in and stop worrying?

Just then she spied the women hovering near the back porch, eyeing her and Jacob like a group of black-winged ravens hungry for juicy gossip. Their ebony bonnets hid their faces, but she knew how much they would love to watch her for life: waiting for the moment when she would fail. And she knew she
would
fail. There was no way she could ever lead a perfect Amish life.

“I’m very tired, Jacob. What do you suppose would happen if we just left and you took me home?”

“Some will wonder where we are—but I could come back and tell them you have a headache or something.”

She considered his offer. It didn’t seem right to let him make excuses for her, but the increasing pounding in her head would not be a lie. The thought of home and quiet and her soft clean pillow drew her.

“Honestly, my head
is
on fire with pain, so if it’s okay with you, I
would
like to go home.”

He nodded, obviously trying to mask the disappointment of not spending the rest of the day with her. “Okay. Let’s go.”

She followed Jacob to the throng of black buggies lined up by the barn and climbed up into his. The two-mile drive was quiet for both of them, and when he pulled into the lane in front of her house, she breathed a sigh of relief.

“Thank you, Jacob. You took good care of me today. I do appreciate you.”

“I’m glad to, Leah. Go in and get some sleep now. You’ll feel so much better once you rest, and I’ll be sure and tell your
maem
about your headache. Maybe, if you feel better later on, you could get someone to bring you back out.”

She shook her head. “There won’t be any cleanup tonight, so I’ll just skip the dinner and singing. I don’t think people will care if I miss tonight or not since I’m such a bad influence on all the kids. They might even be relieved.”

Her complaint sounded petty, even to her ears, but Jacob leaned in, and barely brushed her lips with a kiss.

“Don’t let the gossip hurt you. They just don’t know you.
I
know you, and you’re not a troublemaker. Maybe a little feisty …” He grinned.

Leah’s cheeks warmed at the touch of Jacob’s lips on hers. She leaned away slightly, to gauge his expression. His brown eyes sparkled as he lifted a hand to her face.

“Your cheeks are rosy. Is there a reason for that?”

She pulled back more, and his hand fell to his side. A puzzled frown slipped over his face. “Are you upset because I kissed you?”

Leah shook her head, and a slow smile grew as she fastened her eyes on his. “No. I’m not upset. But I am wondering how your
daet
and
maem
will feel about you and me … being together.” She felt the flush deepen as she pondered the kiss. Did he truly have serious plans for their future?

A relieved sigh escaped his lips. “Whew. You had me worried there, you know. As for my parents and their feelings about you, neither one has ever said anything bad about you. My parents don’t gossip, but even if they’re worried over hearsay concerning your connections to Martha, they would make up their own minds and not judge you by that alone. They’ve seen you in church.
Maem
considers your
maem
her friend. They’ve been around your family and you for years and years. They aren’t worried.”

“But maybe they don’t know about us.” Leah tilted her head, curious for his reply. Had he talked about her at home?

Jacob chuckled. “Oh, I get it! You’re fishing for information, eh? No, seriously. They like you, Leah.
Daet
even teased me once about going after a wife with such spark.”

Leah lifted her brows. “Wife?” She pursed her lips in mock disapproval. “Taking my approval of you as husband material for granted, aren’t you?”

He grinned.

“But you may be biting off more than you can chew with me, Jacob Yoder. I’m feistier than you know, I’m afraid.” She frowned, thinking of her growing desire to let go of
everything
Amish.

Jacob shook his head. “I don’t believe that. Go rest and try not to fret. I’ll come by in the morning to take you back over to the Wengerds’ for cleanup.”

“Thanks, but
Maem
already said we were going to walk over together to help with the cleanup, so if you need to do something else, it’s okay.”

“I’ll still try to get over there. They may need someone to run the dishes and borrowed things back.”

“Jacob, thanks again,” she said sincerely.

“Bye, Leah. See you tomorrow.”

She hopped down from the buggy and watched him pull away. In spite of Jacob’s unexpected kiss and the talk of their future together, her head felt like it could explode from the stress of overhearing the gossip about her. She couldn’t wait to get in her bedroom and lie down.

Even on a wonderful day like this, gossips have managed to spoil it. Why?

The day after the wedding, Leah got up early and went down to breakfast. The Raber women would be going back to the Wengerds’ to finish redding up, and some of the other church members would be there, too. She was hoping to see Martha, who hadn’t come to the wedding. Leah was worried something had happened to her.

At the table,
Maem
didn’t say anything about her being absent from most of the wedding celebration after lunch, and she hoped her parents wouldn’t think she’d been with Martha.

Benny suddenly spoke up. “Why did you go away from the wedding, Leah?” His quizzical look made her smile, and she reached out and rubbed his towhead.

“I had a bad pain in my head, and I wanted to come home and take a nap for a little while.”

“You
wanted
to take a nap?” he asked incredulously.

They laughed at his expression, and
Maem
said, “Sometimes grownups need to rest, too, Benny.” She looked at her daughter with a tiny smile, and the word
grownup
was not lost on Leah.

After a few more minutes in the kitchen, breakfast was finished, and
Maem
sent Benny out to help
Daet
in the shop while the girls walked back to the Wengerds’ place.

Leah entered the already steamy hot kitchen, seeing that the big job of cleaning the dishes used at the marriage dinner was underway. The bride and groom were already awake and busily washing the china, silverware, and borrowed dishes. In deference to the bride and groom’s privacy on this first morning after their wedding, only the bridal party worked with them.

Leah didn’t see Jacob anywhere, and since she didn’t really want to be a fifth wheel with the couples helping the newlyweds, she wandered out to the barn to see if the workers out there wanted her to wipe off the benches and tables before they were put away. Three bench wagons were parked near the barn doors, and young men and boys were diligently pulling the cleaned benches out of the barn to stack them back into the wagons.

Church was coming up Sunday, and the wagons needed to be at the proper homes in preparation for the services. Since the Wengerds had hired two extra wagons from other church districts, there was even more work to do. The older boys and men were back at their jobs or in the fields, so she went into the barn to lend a hand with the tables and benches.

The barn was cooler than the kitchen, but it was still warm enough to break a sweat with the bending and scrubbing she was doing to the tables. She used her apron to fan herself several times. While she was working, she saw Martha talking to Miriam at the door of the house. Anna Mast was with her and joined the other ladies in the kitchen. Soon Martha hurried to the barn.

“Martha! There you are! Where were you yesterday?”

Martha pulled her friend to the side, out of earshot. “I had to go to town to sign a rental lease with Abe.”

“You’re kidding!”

“No. It’s a very cute apartment downtown.” She giggled. “Abe told me to pick out a kitten—we’re allowed to have a pet.” Her eyes were lit up with happiness. Leah tried to think back to when she’d last seen Martha so excited.

“I’m going to miss you, Martha.”

“I’ll still be around. Don’t worry. Let me help you with the tables.”

While they worked, the two friends whispered about Martha’s plans to leave the Amish by the end of the next week. Leah, her brain buzzing with the news that Martha seriously meant to leave home soon, tried to focus on the conversation. Her stomach churned when she realized she would soon have to say good-bye to her friend. Leah tried to talk Martha into not going—at least, not so soon.

“When I think of not being able to see you at church, Martha, my heart breaks, and you’ll be shunned, too—not officially, but they still won’t like me seeing you.”

“I know, but when has anything the church or the elders or the bishop have done made me not speak to you or come find you? I’ll be out here, calling your name and sneaking you into my car. Just you wait.”

She laughed, but Leah did not join in. Somehow, Martha’s rebellion seemed hardened and bitter.
I hope I’m not going down that path. I don’t feel as carefree about leaving as she seems to feel. Does dabbling in the English world lead to that?

Martha sobered. “My only fear is that Abner will soon go back to looking for another victim, and that means maybe my little sisters will suffer what I have.”