Leah shuddered. “Isn’t there something we can do?”
“Abe thinks I should go to Child Protection Services once I’m out of here, but I don’t know.”
“Don’t you think that will make everything even worse for them?” Leah exclaimed. “The bishop and the church wouldn’t like that at all.”
Martha chewed her lip. “I wish I knew what might happen. I have no idea what the law would say or do if I go to them.”
“If you leave next week, will your
maem
and
stepdaet
call the sheriff to have you brought back?”
“I’m not of age, so they could if they wanted to, but I have a feeling they’ll just go along with shunning me and leave it be. They’ve had enough of me this past year.”
Even though Martha said this with a flippant attitude, Leah sensed her friend was truly hurt.
“Do you have a job lined up or anything like that?”
“Abe says he’ll help me find work. I’m pretty sure I could get a job at a fast-food place or even clean houses and factories if I have to, and I want to get my driver’s license soon, too.”
“Have you thought any more about contacting the Schrocks?”
“Abe said he knows a few of the former Amish who have gotten help from the Mission to Amish People ministry the Schrocks started. He said we might be able to get some clothing or household items if we need it.” She made a face. “But he isn’t into the church stuff they want people to do, so I don’t think we’ll ask them for too much.”
They continued cleaning in silence, but then Leah hesitantly asked the question that had been troubling her. “Martha, are you afraid you’ll die and go to hell if you leave?”
Martha sat down on a hay bale stacked in the corner out of the way. “This past year has been so bad, Leah, I think I’d rather die as a heathen
Englisher
than live the rest of my life as an Amish person going to heaven.”
Leah sputtered. “Martha! You don’t mean that!” She wanted to tell Martha not to be so hasty, but she held back, knowing she was thinking some of the same things about the Amish life.
But would I ever want to be shunned or know I was going to hell?
“Honestly, I just don’t care much anymore if I’m breaking the
Ordnung.
It makes no difference to me whether I live like a heathen or not. Abe has taken me to some parties the ex-Amish have at their places, and it’s fun to have a beer or two and loosen up a little. It doesn’t hurt me, and I feel like I’m in control of my life for the first time.”
“You mean you’ve been drunk?”
Martha laughed. “Not really, silly! I just feel a little bit good. I don’t use the drugs that can be there, but some of the kids do.”
Leah shook her head. The rumors were true then. She worried Martha was going to get hurt or get in big trouble if she kept up with these practices.
“Leah, you just don’t understand. If you ever decide to leave, you’ll find out there’s way more to life than being stuck out here on farms.”
Martha regarded Leah for a moment. Then she stood and shook the dust and hay bits off of her skirt. “In case you don’t know, some of the Amish kids are coming to these parties, too. You’d be surprised how many of them hide cell phones in their pockets.” Martha laughed. “They like to be called and told where the next big party is going to be.”
Leah walked with Martha to the doorway of the barn, thinking about how naive she was in comparison to her friend. In her heart, Leah knew if she ever decided to leave their Amish life, it wouldn’t be for parties or drugs or alcohol. Those things held no attraction for her. But having freedom—the freedom to learn more about
Gott
, and the ability to live a modern and less burdened life—to be able to live without constantly being worried about the
Ordnung
—those were the things that made her secretly dream about the English world.
“Leah …” Martha hesitated. “By this time next week, you may not be able to spend time talking with me like this anymore. If I leave, remember you have my cell number. You can call me anytime, and I’ll be sure to answer. If you want to leave, too, call. Okay?”
Tears came to Leah’s eyes as she realized her friendship with Martha was likely never going to be the same. “Be careful.”
“You know it! Life is going to get much more exciting for me!” Her friend waved and darted off.
“I’ll miss you,” she whispered.
Martha got on her bike, turning to wave as she pedaled out of the driveway. Leah had a feeling this was the last time she would see her friend in Amish clothes.
She sighed and went to look for Ada. She had to talk to someone about what Martha was planning to do—this kind of news she couldn’t keep to herself.
C
HAPTER
T
EN
T
he family slept a little later the Saturday morning after the final cleanup day at the Wengerds’. When Leah came down for breakfast, everyone was gone except for Ada. She was slumped at the table, her hair a mess, and her yawns coming one after another as she tried to eat her oatmeal.
“Where’s
Maem
?” Leah asked as she poured a cup of coffee.
“She went out to the shop to see if
Daet
needs her to get anything for him at Home Hardware today. We’re going into Ashfield to shop.” Ada glanced out the window. “At least the sun is shining. I’d hate to go into town as cold as it’s gotten overnight without sunshine to warm us up.” She took another bite of oatmeal and glanced at her sister. “You coming along?”
“Sure. I don’t mind getting away from this house today. With all the work we’ve been doing for the wedding, we haven’t had time to buy groceries or anything for a couple of weeks.”
“Did you really have a headache on the wedding day?”
“I did, but I was also upset.”
“About what?”
“I overheard some of the church ladies talking about Martha Mast. They said she was a bad influence … and then they started talking about me.”
“What?” Ada’s eyes grew wide and she frowned. “What were they saying?”
“That I’m also a bad influence and hooked up with the awful Schrocks.”
“Those women and their
nahsich
noses!” Ada exclaimed, but Leah didn’t miss the worry creasing her sister’s brow.
The back door opened, and
Maem
called into the kitchen, “Are you girls ready to go?”
They exchanged looks and quickly rose to get ready. Ada called back, “I have to get my hair put up,
Maem
. We’ll be out in about fifteen minutes.”
Leah whispered, “Ada, don’t let
Maem
know about the gossipers at the wedding, okay?”
“I won’t, and they should be ashamed of themselves, but please, Leah, don’t give them anymore cause to talk—I’d hate for people to talk about us the way they prattle on about the Masts!” Ada stomped up the stairs.
“I’d hoped
somebody
would be on my side,” Leah muttered as she went to the hooks by the back door and pulled down her shawl. “I guess Jacob is on my side.” She smiled when she remembered how kind he had been the day of the wedding. She would have to be sure to thank him again.
Maem
drove the buggy to the hitching post behind the hardware store, and Leah helped Benny water the horse before they left him. It might be a longer shopping day than normal, so she also gave the horse a feedbag. Benny pranced and twisted his way through the parking lot until
Maem
told him to mind himself.
They went into the hardware store first. Leah told
Maem
she’d like to look through the kitchenwares, just for the fun of it, and started up the aisle. Right in front of her was Naomi Schrock. It seemed she ran into one of the Schrocks each time she went to town. Was God trying to tell her something?
Naomi stopped to greet her, then greeted
Maem
too, but
Maem
gave a short nod and kept walking. Leah blushed and tried to make up for
Maem
’s curt behavior by returning Naomi’s greeting with a broad smile.
“
Wie gehts
, Naomi?” Leah asked politely.
“
Gut
. How are you and your family, Leah?”
“Doing well.”
“Your brother just got married, didn’t he?”
“Yes. Just this week, to Sara Wengerd.”
Naomi nodded her head toward
Maem
’s retreating back. “Is your
Maem
adjusting to his being out of the house yet?”
“Not so much. But we’re happy for him and Sara.”
Benny ran up, grabbing Leah’s hand and trying to drag her away. “
Maem
says to hurry along ’cause she has a lot of shopping to do.”
“Benny! Don’t be rude. You interrupted our conversation.”
“But
Maem said
, Leah,” Benny whined and stamped his feet as Ada came up behind him.
Turning to Ada, Leah asked, “Do you mind taking him back to
Maem
? As wild as he is today, he’s liable to break something.”
Ada nodded and grabbed Benny’s hand, which he promptly tried to pull away. She gripped him all the harder and marched off with their ornery brother in tow, warning, “Wait until
Maem
hears about your behavior.”
“I’m sorry, Naomi. He’s full of wild oats today because we’ve had to do so much for the wedding the last few weeks. I’m afraid he’s been overlooked and overworked.”
Naomi chuckled. “No problem. I’ve got two sons so I know how much energy they can build up.”
Leah glanced around to see if
Maem
was lingering at the corner, but noticing she was out of earshot, she leaned closer to Naomi. “I enjoyed the Bible study. I sure wish I could come to another one, but I’d have to go against my
daet
to do it. I was wondering if you have more worksheets—or study sheets—to loan to me. I’ve been trying to read my Bible at night, but sometimes it’s hard to understand what the words mean. A study sheet would help a lot.”
“We have special Bible lessons you can sign up to receive through the mail, Leah. Would your parents object to you studying the Bible if you didn’t actually attend the Bible study?”
“I don’t know for sure, but I think it will be okay.” She caught a glimpse of her mother peeking around the aisle. “I’ll ask my parents. Thanks, Naomi. I’d better get going now since I can see
Maem
’s waiting for me.”
“Sure. Just let me know when you’re ready to begin lessons.”
Leah rounded the corner and saw
Maem
had moved to the checkout counter, her lips a tight line, her shoulders rigid. She met Leah’s gaze and shook her head. Leah glanced away, gathered the bags, and went ahead. She climbed into the back of the buggy to place the hardware items in a box under the seat.
Daet
wanted them to lock the box once they placed something in it if they planned to go to another store, so she snapped the lock tight. When she climbed down from the back,
Maem
was waiting.
“Leah, your
daet
and I have made it clear to you that you can’t be friendly with the Schrocks.”
“But
Maem
, I can’t walk past Naomi without greeting her, can I?”
“A polite nod is all that’s necessary, Leah.
Daet
told Matthew Schrock straight out that we didn’t think you should be going to their house or associating with them anymore. But there you stand—talking to Naomi for several minutes and right in front of me yet.”
Leah glanced at Ada who was trying to keep Benny occupied nearby. Her sister rolled her eyes.
Maem
continued, “I’d be careful with the Schrocks from now on.”
This wasn’t the time to ask about the Bible study through the mail, so she followed
Maem
, Benny, and Ada across the street to the grocery store.
When Benny became restless again, Leah took him by the hand and told him he could pick out a cookie at the bakery. Benny hopped along beside his big sister, his cute, shining smile drawing attention as they walked. Suddenly, a lady came toward them, pausing as she brought her cell phone to her face. Before Leah could react, the stranger took their picture. As they hurried past the woman, Leah heard her talking excitedly to someone on her cell phone. “Did you see that? It’s real-life Amish people! Really! I can hardly believe my eyes. I thought all the Amish people were in Holmes County. Yes! A little boy …”
Her cheeks flushed, but Leah kept her head down. The
Ordnung
forbade photographs, and the local people rarely took pictures.
Leah helped Benny choose a cookie, and then they went to find
Maem
and Ada. The shopping was nearly finished when the same lady snapped another picture of them at the door to the store. She followed their family across the street and through the parking lot, taking pictures and talking as if they couldn’t hear her. She snapped picture after picture as they loaded the groceries and snapped more while Ada untied Sparky. They left the lady trying to keep up behind the buggy, still talking and taking pictures with her cell phone.
“Well,” sighed
Maem
, “that was a fitting end to a day filled with frustrations, I would say.” She kept her shoulders tense and her lips tight all the way home. Leah guessed
Daet
was not going to be very happy once he found out about her conversation with Naomi, but she also thought about the Bible studies she might get through the mail. No matter what, she was determined to find a way to learn more.
Ada and Benny helped
Maem
unload the groceries while Leah took the hardware items from the locked box to
Daet
’s workshop. He was busy at the back, sanding a table, and glanced up long enough to acknowledge she’d brought what he needed.
As she was going back to the house, she passed
Maem
heading to the shop. Leah sat down on the edge of the well house. She knew what
Maem
was going to tell
Daet
—better to just wait for his call.
The November breeze was getting increasingly chilly, foreshadowing the frost that could descend any night now. She stared at the back porch and its serviceable white siding. No window curtains framed the windows, and if any had been needed, the
Ordnung
allowed only dark purple, to be drawn at night.