The Miting (19 page)

Leah remembered seeing Amish houses in Holmes County when she traveled to visit some of
Maem
’s relatives. Their houses and yards were cheerful and colorful, with beautiful and well-tended flower gardens and lush vegetable gardens. Dainty and clean starched white curtains fluttered at the windows, and at a cousin’s place, a phone booth stood in the driveway for the use of the family and their neighbors. Leah had marveled at the indoor plumbing and the kitchen appliances that ran on propane. Even the lights, sewing machines, and mixer ran on propane.

In her own yard, all she saw was dirt and drabness. The
Ordnung
forbade them to plant flowers for decoration—that was considered prideful. Though many of the gardens could be outlined with marigolds to help keep the deer away, flowers as ornaments were frowned upon. Simplicity and plainness were all the group could focus on with their Old Order homes. Consequently, the paint colors allowed were white on the outside and white on the inside. The wooden floors and trim inside the house were painted dark gray. They had outdoor plumbing with well water that came into the kitchens through a hand pump. The water had to be heated on wood-burning stoves, and no luxury was allowed to make lives easier.

Leah often wondered why it was not sinful for her New Order Amish cousins to use propane stoves and refrigerators, but for her group, it
was
sinful. Everything they did was spelled out according to the local bishop. It made no sense. She had heard that her cousins in Holmes County did not practice shunning and did not ostracize their family members who left the Amish. It seemed it would be easier to be Amish if she’d only been born fifty miles farther south. She sighed and thought again of the Schrocks.

They’d left the Old Order, too, and they seemed happier. They were kind and loving and didn’t have as many hang-ups about
Gott
as people in Leah’s church did. They didn’t worry in the least whether they would die and go to hell just because they weren’t living the Plain life anymore. The Schrocks told Leah they had peace knowing Christ made all the provision for their sins—nothing they could do, or not do, took that sin away, and once they gave their hearts over to Jesus, their sins were forgiven. They said they were
sure
they were going to heaven.

She thought back over the plan of salvation Matthew had shared. It was full of love and grace. And forgiveness:
“If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness,”
Matthew had said. Could living a Christian life really be that simple?

“Leah,”
Daet
called from the shop door. “Please come here for a minute.”

She groaned and decided tonight she was going to tell
Daet
she wanted peace—no matter how she had to get it, even if that meant studying the Bible. She had to have time to think about the Amish way of living. She didn’t want to be like Martha—but Leah just couldn’t stand not being allowed to find out about grace and forgiveness through Christ alone.

Leah stood and squared her shoulders. She knew she’d be causing a division in her family that might never heal, but she went into the workshop trying to appear confident.

Daet
started in immediately. “Your
maem
tells me you spoke to Naomi Schrock in Home Hardware today.”

“Yes,
Daet
, but—”

“No,” he interrupted. “We are done talking about this. After tonight, if I see you speaking to the Schrocks or going with them or having
anything
to do with them, I’ll ask the bishop to speak with you for willfully disobeying your parents. Is that clear to you? I’m trying to keep Satan’s grip off of you, Daughter, and your disobedience shows me you’ve already succumbed to his evil ways.”

“Evil ways?” Leah gasped, tears in her eyes. “
Daet!
I’ve done nothing for you to be so upset with me. Martha has disobeyed her parents over and over—she wants to live with her boyfriend—others have smoked and drunk and hidden their cars—gone into town to party—told their parents they were
rumspringen
… and me? What have I done that’s so terrible? I’ve gotten to know a wonderful and loving family. I’ve been to
one
Bible study. I still go to church, still help out around here, and still do everything I’m supposed to do as a Plain person, but all you and
Maem
have done is find fault with me!” She stormed to the door and turned to face her parents. “I want peace!”

Daet
stalked toward her. “You will
not
find this peace you want so much by going with
Englishers
who help Amish
jungen
leave their families and, more importantly, their church.” Her father’s hands were clenched at his side, and his face was crimson with fury and frustration.

Leah stood her ground, but her whole body was trembling. She’d never talked back to either of her parents before. “I came in here to tell you I plan to continue studying the Bible. I’m either going to get a Bible study from the Schrocks through the mail, or I’m going to go to their house for one. I’ve made up my mind.”

Daet
’s quiet tone belied his deep anger. “If you do this, whether by mail or in person, I will talk to the bishop.”

At that moment, Jacob Yoder came to the door. His gaze went from her to her father and back to Leah again.

She continued to look
Daet
in the eye but was able to calm herself enough to say, “All right. You do that,
Daet.
In the meantime, I’ll do what I have to do to learn more about
Gott
and the Bible. For that, you can punish me if you feel you have to.”

Jacob opened the door and whispered to Leah to wait for him on the front porch of the house. Now that the confrontation was finally over, she felt a wave of relief.

Leah walked to the porch and sat down on the swing. The breeze blew through her hair and across her hot cheeks. The coolness of the silent wind calmed her spirit.

She gazed out over the darkening fields and watched a flock of late-flying geese, neatly formed in a V, making their way south. After what seemed like ages, she heard the approaching footsteps of Jacob as he came around the corner and up onto the porch. He sat down on the swing, his broad shoulders barely touching her chilly arm. They pushed the swing back and forth silently for a time before he finally paused.

“It took some coaxing, but I’ve talked your
Daet
into letting me take you to the Bible study next Tuesday.”

Leah looked at him, eyebrows arched in amazement. “You have? What about your parents? Will they agree to let you go along?”

“I had already mentioned the idea to them. My
daet
is not worried, but
Maem
pressed me not to get too involved.” Jacob gave a short nod. “Yeah—they were a little concerned, but they know I plan to join the church, so they weren’t as upset as your parents. I thought if I convinced your
daet
to let me take you, maybe he’d feel you wouldn’t be so easily influenced. It appears I came by at just the right moment.” Jacob smiled softly, then began to gently push the swing again. “I can tell he feels bad, Leah. He knows you’re not doing anything that is really sinful, but he’s worried this ex-Amish couple will influence you to leave. He worries you’re not happy with the family and the church anymore.”

She thought about that statement. “He’s right about that, but he’s wrong that it’s because of the Schrocks. Something is not right inside of
me
anymore. The
Ordnung
rules create hard lives for us but seem to make no real difference in getting us to heaven.”

Jacob nodded but kept still.

She sighed, long and deep. “I appreciate your offering to take me next Tuesday. I’m glad.”

“It’s going to be a long drive, but I think we’ll get home before too late.” Jacob stood and stretched. “Now, you need to go in and get some sleep. Oh, and it might be good to let your
maem
know you’re not mad anymore,” he suggested with a wink.

Leah rose with a sigh. “Yes, you’re right. I’ll see her before I go upstairs.” She touched his arm and smiled. “Thanks, Jacob. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” She opened the door, its hinges protesting loudly in the quiet as Leah reluctantly went to look for
Maem
.

The weekend passed with Leah working hard to stay out of
Daet
’s way. She tried to do whatever
Maem
asked of her. And she didn’t say anything more about the Bible study, though she was anxious for Tuesday to come.

At the dinner table Tuesday evening, even Benny was quiet and subdued.
Daet
was clearly uncomfortable, and Leah feared he’d change his mind and order her to stay home. He hadn’t said much over the weekend, only glancing at Leah once in a while with a sad, questioning look on his face. She thought back to the times when
Daet
teased her as they worked in the shop. Leah had been his helper since she was old enough to take care of the bills. She missed the tranquil moments in the shop where even her
daet
would sometimes break out in laughter.

The time came for her to get ready. Jacob would be along soon, so she went outside on the front porch to watch for him coming down the lane. To her surprise,
Maem
came out and sat with her.

“Leah, just remember,
Daet
may have given you permission to go tonight, but he didn’t mean you can go again.”

“I know,
Maem
.”

“He’s doing this so you can see there’s nothing you’re missing in our way of life.”

She didn’t answer but leapt up at the sound of Jacob’s buggy.

“See you later,
Maem
.”

She ran off the porch and down the steps before
Maem
could call out any more advice. Leah met Jacob at the yard’s edge just as he was turning the buggy toward the house.

“Whoa, Bingo—whoa.” Jacob pulled the reins back on his horse. “Leah, you scared Bingo—don’t run at him like that again!”

She was out of breath, winded by her own exuberance. She crawled up into the buggy, apologizing for her rash actions.

“I was in such a hurry to get going, I guess I didn’t watch what I was doing.” She glanced in the back and saw his younger brother. “Hi, Erb.”

“Hi.” He looked bored.

“I brought Erb so he can take the buggy back,” Jacob explained.

“What do you mean?”

“I got someone to call Matthew Schrock today and he agreed to meet us at Raysburg General Store. He’ll give us a ride from there.”

“How will we get back home?”

“I’ll be back to the store around nine,” said Erb.

“Oh, that’s a good idea—we won’t have to go as far in the dark. It makes me nervous that we can’t have anything but a lantern on the back of the buggy, especially when it gets dark so early.”

“
Ja.
That’s a pretty dangerous thing to do nowadays.”

As they started down the road, Leah wondered aloud, “Jacob, does it ever bother you that some bishops think a triangle sign is a sin, but other bishops don’t? Or why one thinks a skirt that is six inches from the floor is modest, but another bishop thinks eight inches from the floor is modest?”

“I must say I have wondered about some of those things, but I try not to dwell on it, Leah.” He glanced back at Erb. “The
Ordnung
mostly makes sense to me—the parts that don’t, I just don’t think about.”

“But see, that’s what I get in trouble over, Jacob. I can’t figure out why each church is so different. If they all think
Gott
is talking to their bishop, why would
Gott
give them all different rules?”

Jacob shook his head. He glanced back to Erb again, and Leah got the hint. Not good to talk of these things in front of his brother.

She watched Jacob’s face as he drove the buggy. His eyes roamed over the fields, and she realized there were probably many things he didn’t understand, either. For him, questions about the
Ordnun
g would be tempered by the draw of farm life and the peaceful way of Amish living. Leah thought it was harder on the women. Much of the
Ordnung
was written about what women wore and how they should dress, how their houses should be run.
Maybe he’d be more concerned if he had to obey all the rules women had to obey.

The store parking lot was busy for such a little place so far in the country, and Jacob guided Bingo to a spot out of the way where they could wait for Matthew. As she hopped down from the buggy, Matthew Schrock pulled into the parking lot. Jacob waved to Erb, and the pair walked to the car. She went around to the back door and got in while Jacob settled into the front seat next to Matthew.

It was a pleasant ride to the Schrocks’ place, and Matthew made sure they were not uncomfortable, asking after their families and making small talk on the short ride. When they pulled into the Schrock drive, several cars were already parked, and a few former Amish were going in the house. Jacob appeared sure of himself, not nervous at all. In contrast, Leah struggled with butterflies in her stomach and was glad to have Jacob along.