She went quietly to her room, lit the lamp, and snuggled into her flannel gown. Reaching into the drawer for the New Testament, she unfolded the papers the Schrocks had given her and began to read some verses they’d listed, first in the book of Hebrews, and then a verse in the book of 1 Peter. It’s as if they knew exactly what struggles she was going to face.
“Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds.
“That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honor and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ….”
She turned down the lamp and lay in the dark for a time. Leah didn’t want to lose heart, but the way things had been going the last few days, it was difficult not to feel tired and weary of it all.
“Lord, help me to put my trust in You. Help me not to mind the sorrow of being shunned by my parents but to remember all the ways You sorrowed to love me and accept me. Keep Martha close to You so she one day knows You can help her, too. In Jesus’ name, Amen.”
By the next day, the news that Martha was gone was spreading through the community. Leah waited until
Maem
and
Daet
finished eating their lunch before she went in to fix herself a ham and cheese sandwich. She sat at the table and listened to her parents talking in the hallway.
“She was warned, of course, but her parents found a note from her on the table this morning.”
“Oh, John, I hate to hear that news, though we’ve known it was coming for some time.”
“She’s moved into an apartment with Abe Troyer.”
“Did the Schrocks help her?”
“It doesn’t look like it—seems she did it on her own.”
“I know she had a hard time at home, but leaving is no way to fix things, and living with her boyfriend, well, I suppose it’s no worse than running away.”
They moved off, and Leah continued eating lunch. It was depressing to know Martha was truly gone.
That afternoon, the bishop came to call on the family and asked to have a word with Leah about Martha.
Maem
asked her to come into the living room.
She followed
Maem
to the room where the bishop sat with his hat on his knee.
Daet
sat stiffly in a chair by the hallway door. His demeanor showed how highly embarrassed he was to be having this conversation with the bishop.
She took a chair across from them and waited politely for Bishop Miller to speak.
“Leah, your parents let me know what has happened to you since last week—this born-again thing you claim you experienced. I need to warn you before it’s too late that you’re playing with fire. The more you listen to this kind of teaching, the more likely it is that you will get burned. Now, Martha is an example of what can happen once you decide to let Satan take hold of your thoughts. I’d like to know where she has gone. Do you have an address for her?”
“I’m sorry, Bishop Miller, but I don’t have an address for her.” Leah shifted in her chair, her cheeks warm from the lecture he’d just delivered.
“Then do you have a way to get in touch with her? Her parents are very concerned for her and might like to call the sheriff. She is underage,” he continued gravely.
Leah sat up straight. “Did they say they’d do that?”
“I think they see how I view this thing, and they know I encourage families to call the authorities when their underage children run away.” He frowned slightly and continued. “Not that we like to get the law involved—it’s not our way—but we can’t just hand our youth over to Satan. So I feel the families need to do whatever they can to get their children back into the fold.”
He regarded her a few minutes longer and then stood to leave. “One last thing, Leah: your
daet
and
maem
have every right to correct you in your rebellion if you continue to go to these
Englisher
Bible studies. Of course, if—or should I say when—you make the rightful decision to join the church, your public repentance will be required, too.”
Leah made no comment and stayed seated while her parents led the bishop to the door.
Maem
came back in, looked at her pleadingly, and then followed
Daet
out the back door to the shop.
Daet
hadn’t spoken one word to her. She sighed and climbed the stairs feeling more and more like her bedroom was both a solace and a prison. Jacob should know what the bishop said, in case he wanted to stop seeing her. It wouldn’t be fair to get him into trouble, too.
Dear Jacob,
I wanted to let you know that Bishop Miller has been to see me about Martha. He also asked me to repent of my born-again beliefs, but I just can’t do that—it is what I now know to be true, and just like it says in the Bible, it has set me free.
Daet
thinks I’m just being rebellious, but I don’t think I am. Bishop Miller will make me confess and repent if I decide to join the church.
Jacob, you should know that I’m not certain I can stay here. It breaks my heart to even write it. If only the church and my parents would let me stay and follow my Savior, then I would gladly remain here and join the church. But that doesn’t look like it will happen.
If you decide you can’t be with me anymore, I will understand. I know the trouble I have had by being a friend to Martha, and I expect the community will do the same thing to you if you stay with me.
I’ve been told I can’t go to the Bible studies anymore, but I plan to do it anyway, somehow. I’m so hungry to learn more of what
Gott
says in His Word! Thank you, Jacob, for taking me to the Schrocks. I have peace even though I’m sad and not sure what will happen next. If I decide to leave, I will contact the Schrocks to help me. You should not be involved in any way, so the church will not blame you or punish you.
Take care, Jacob. You have been kind and thoughtful to me over and over these last few months and I appreciate you very much.
Your friend, Leah
With tears streaming down her face, Leah folded the letter and put it in an envelope, then found a stamp and decided to mail the letter that afternoon. No sense in giving
Maem
or
Daet
the chance to intercept it.
Another day of solitude passed, with Leah feeling increasingly like an unwelcome, invisible guest in her own home. Ada’s eyes filled with tears every time Leah entered the kitchen, and Benny’s clear confusion over their new family rule nearly broke Leah’s heart. Obviously, her
daet
hoped to give Leah a taste of what a real
meidning
would be like. She took to eating her meals after the others had left and keeping to her room as much as possible to avoid the painful silence that greeted her.
Finally, she could bear the isolation no more, and she ducked outside to get the bike from the shed when the others were busy with lunch.
The air was turning colder, and the sky looked gray; snow was not far away, but she was only going to ride to the general store and back, just to stretch her legs and feel the wind on her face again. Deep in her heart, she also hoped to hear back from Jacob.
Many of Leah’s Amish neighbors passed her on the way to the store, but only one or two waved or nodded a greeting. Already the word was getting around she was in trouble. Her neighbors might not know why, but they would not want to be on the wrong side of the bishop or the church if she was shunned in the future.
Leah was tired by the time she got to the store, so she decided to rest at the picnic tables that were clustered outside under the trees. The sun was setting quickly, and she knew better than to linger or it would be dark and too dangerous to be on the road with her unmarked bicycle.
Daet
and the rest of the men in the community had removed all the bike reflectors just last year after Bishop Miller had decided they were too showy. As she was about to gather her bike and head for home, a familiar buggy pulled into the lot. Jacob waved. Relief washed over her; at least he was still acknowledging her.
“
Wie gehts
, Leah?”
“
Gut
. I wasn’t sure you’d talk with me, Jacob.”
“Silly, Leah. After I got your letter this morning, I was hoping for a chance to speak with you face-to-face.” Jacob grinned sheepishly. “My brother spotted you on the road, so I headed out, figuring you might end up here.”
Leah, suddenly overwhelmed with emotion, looked away to gather her thoughts. “Jacob, I don’t know what to say. Between Martha’s leaving and the bishop’s accusations, I thought you’d be done with me, and I just … I just don’t want you to feel obliged. Or get into trouble because of me. That’s all.”
He steered her bike to the side of the building. She followed, watching as he carefully leaned it against the wall. He turned to her, his expression calm and sure.
“I don’t want to talk about that, and I don’t want you to think about it anymore, either. Whatever happens, I’ll stick by you; if you want me to, that is.”
“Even if I have to leave?” she asked suddenly.
He searched her face, finally shaking his head. “I’d like to say you won’t make that decision, but the way your folks and the bishop are talking … you may not have a choice if they won’t let you be the Christian you want to be. I’d understand that, Leah, but I’d be hurt.”
He paused. “You’re the only girl for me.” He smiled sadly. “And I can’t imagine not having you in my life, but truthfully, I also can’t see myself living life outside the Amish community. The life is hard, but I like the farm and the community atmosphere. I don’t always agree with the things the
Ordnung
requires, but I accept it. If you aren’t there, Leah, it would all be different.”
He shuffled his feet. “I don’t know if I could stand being around folks if they were shunning you. The thought of you being hurt—”
He swallowed, then looked out at the blackening sky. “It’s getting late, and you shouldn’t be biking on the roads after dark. I’ve got my buggy; let me put your bike in the back and take you home.” He whispered, “I have a reflector I can put on the back.”
Leah was surprised. “Jacob Yoder, you’re going against the
Ordnung
by using a reflector?”
Jacob tapped her nose with his finger. “Looks like we may be more alike than we thought—both stubborn and rebellious.”
She laughed, relief and gratitude coursing through her—and another emotion too, that left her a little breathless. Climbing into his buggy, she gave him a quick kiss on the cheek, ever so grateful for Jacob Yoder and praying that somehow things would work out.