The Miting (35 page)

Leah was speechless as she contemplated Martha’s news.

“It isn’t the end of the world. At least Johnny will have food.”

“I guess so. I mean—you have to do what you need to for Johnny.”

Silence filled the space between them. Finally, Martha put her hand on Leah’s arm, her eyes bright. “Leah! I’ve just had an idea. Why don’t you go home, too?”

“What? No … I mean … I don’t want to go back. Not yet anyway.”

“But Leah, it’s Christmas! Think of how much your family will love having you back.”

“Yes, but—”

“And especially think of Jacob. You still like him, right?” Martha jabbed Leah’s shoulder and winked. “I bet he really misses you after all this time.”

“Well …”

“And you said yourself last summer that you’re homesick. You still are, aren’t you?”

“Sometimes, but I don’t want to give up my Bible and my church—”

Martha smirked. “Is that all? Why can’t you take your Bible with you? And won’t there be enough church to suit you once you’re back in the fold again?” Martha grabbed Leah’s hand. “I don’t want to go back without you. You know what it’s like at my house. You’re the only one who understands. The only one who cares enough to check on me and Johnny. Please? Think about it. Don’t say no right off. Just think of the fun we could have again. We’d see each other more, and we’d be at church together … please?“

Leah gently pulled her hand back, thoughts swirling in her mind. Could this be the Lord’s timing? His will for her life? Was He telling her that it was time to go home? She thought of Martha and how much she’d need her support now that Johnny was in the picture. And perhaps Leah had learned enough about God that she could help
Daet
and
Maem
gain their own spiritual freedom. There were many reasons she should go home when she considered it carefully.

Though Leah found herself shaking her head, the notion had taken hold in her imagination. She could see herself being accepted back into the family. She could feel the warmth of Benny’s skinny-armed hugs and Ada’s infectious laugh. And there was
Maem
and
Daet
… and of course, Jacob. The more she thought of all of them, the more the idea appealed to her. Leah noticed Martha’s eager gaze.

“I’ll think about it,” she promised.

“Okay, but don’t think too long. I plan to send for a ride home no later than two weeks from now. If I have to go back, I want to go before Christmas. It’s the only time my family is any fun to be around.”

Leah remembered Martha’s stepbrother. “What about Abner?”

Martha laughed. “Can you believe it? He was bed courting, in this day and age, and ended up having to marry Lena Swarzentruber! She’s one of the oldest old maids around. Her
daet
couldn’t wait to get rid of her—told her to put her lantern in the window, and it only took two weeks before she attracted my insect of a stepbrother with that light.” A dark look came over Martha’s face. “Serves him right.”

Leah had an image of Lena—pale and weak and very unsure of herself—and felt a pang of pity for what the woman was probably putting up with from Abner. And the crass way Martha was talking about Lena’s situation added more sorrow to the story.

“Poor Lena,” Leah muttered.

Martha frowned. “Yeah. I can’t help but feel sorry for her, too. Her
bobli
is due in the spring.” Martha shook off her thoughts. “But anyway, Abner won’t be a problem for me anymore. And good thing, too—I’ll have enough to handle with
Maem
and Johnny in the same house.”

The turmoil likely to come from Martha’s homecoming made Leah cringe for innocent little Johnny. She shook off doubts about Martha’s wisdom in the decision and tried to refocus on the errand at hand. Besides, she needed time and quiet to think about her future. “I’d better get going with my list. I’m borrowing Hannah’s car for this morning. I just got my license this week,” she added proudly.

“Maybe you won’t need that after all, eh?” Martha’s eyes twinkled.

Leah lost her smile and turned away. So many things she’d worked to achieve would have to be forgotten if she went back.
Am I ready to do that?

“I’ll keep in touch, Martha. Even when you go home, I can send word to you, okay?”

“Send word? I’m not planning to give
this
up.” Martha flipped open her red cell phone. “You still have my number?”

“I think so. Somewhere.”

“Okay then. You can call me if you decide to come with me. In the meantime, think about it, please? It wouldn’t be the same to go home without my best friend there.
Please?
” she begged.

“I promise to think about it.”

Johnny’s fists waved, and he wailed his unhappiness. Martha gave Leah a quick hug and hurried her baby and the cart to the checkout.

Leah stood, dazed, thinking of the possibility of going home.

Maybe it would be different. Surely
Maem
and
Daet
have missed me enough to want to compromise on spiritual things.

After she checked out, Leah dashed to the car with her purchases. She spied a small, red-cheeked Amish boy as he streaked past her, giggling as he outran his older sister. His blond hair flew out around his face like Benny’s used to do. She smiled as she watched him evade his sibling. He ran around the horse and buggy before his
maem
finally called
“Schtope!”
The small family teased each other merrily as they loaded their packages in the buggy before getting in and backing the horse carefully away from the hitching post.

As the horse clopped past Leah, her heart longed for home. Maybe this would be the perfect time … a Christmas homecoming.

Leah had to hurry once she got back to the apartment in order to be ready in time for Sally’s catering job. She had no idea what she’d end up doing, but she trusted Sally.

Sally asked Leah to wear a white shirt and black slacks. The simple outfit looked elegant. Leah was pleased at her reflection.

She decided to go festive with a silvery barrette for her hair. She added a pair of simple silver earrings that dangled delicately at the curve of her face. Leah smiled when she thought of how these colors weren’t far removed from her Amish palette, but what a difference it made to wear slacks and a few sparkly baubles.

Sally came right on time. She explained that serving and keeping up with the demands of the party guests would be hard, but it was worth it in the end. “I always feel so much better after it’s over when I think of how much help will be provided for the charity by the money that’s raised tonight. They make sure people who are diagnosed with cancer can afford to pay for some of their medical needs—like nutrition supplements and other medications.”

“That’s wonderful! My people are used to taking care of each other this way, too. We often have no insurance, so we have to help each other out when medical problems arise.”

Sally glanced at Leah. “You’re saying ‘my people’ and ‘we have no insurance.’ That’s the first time I remember you talking like you’re still Amish. What gives?”

She was used to Sally’s blunt questions, but Leah was surprised at how quickly the woman had noticed her reconnection to the Amish culture. Leah hadn’t really thought of what she was saying herself.

“Hmm. I guess I didn’t even notice I was doing that, Sally, but I have to be honest with you—I’m having thoughts about going back home before Christmas.”

“What? But you’re doing so well, Leah! Why do you want to go back now?”

“Some of it is my friend Martha. She has to go back, and she really wants me to go when she does. I’ve also been very homesick for a long time. With Christmas coming up …” Leah’s voice trailed off as she thought of all she’d missed last December from not being home.

“I can’t pretend to understand what it’s like for you to leave your home and all your family and friends, but I do know you’ve grown and blossomed into a wonderful, independent young lady. I’d hate to see you go backward in life. So much potential is lying dormant in you, Leah. Just make sure you think hard about this decision. Promise?”

Leah nodded, but she was taken aback by Sally’s passion for her remaining out of the Amish.

They worked side by side the remainder of the evening, and by the time they had the pots and pans and serving dishes washed, the leftover food tucked away in boxes, and the kitchen spotless, Leah was dog tired.

They rode home together in silence. Snowflakes shimmered in the headlights, and Christmas carols filled the car. Leah savored the peaceful moment.

Tonight had been a special time. Working with Sally to help raise money for a worthy cause had given her a wonderful sense of belonging and satisfaction. Tears misted her eyes when she thought of how much she’d miss Sally if she went back home.

There’s such irony in life. I miss my Amish family and my friends, but I’ve also made many good friends in the
Englisher
world. Why does everything have to be black and white? Why do my people make me choose?
Leah sighed.

“Are you tired?” Sally asked.

“Yes, but it’s a good tired.” Leah smiled. “I really want to thank you, Sally, for asking me to help. It was fun, and I felt like I did something important.”

She glanced at Leah. “You did. We have community in our world, too, you know.”

Leah chuckled. “I get the message.”

Leah turned to watch the Christmas light displays that adorned the houses they passed. Though it wasn’t part of her Amish heritage to decorate with lights and displays, she took childish delight in the twinkling lights and shimmering glow spread over the rooftops and dripping from tree branches. This part of her English experience was enjoyable. She drank in the happy feeling the lights created. There was so much for both worlds to offer her. Wasn’t there a way to have both?

“You know, Sally, I don’t always want to go back—only when I feel homesick. If I could have my family and the English world, too, that would be perfect.”

“I get it, kiddo. It has to be hard to be away from them—especially during this time of year.”

“To tell you the truth, if I could stay out of the Amish community but still see my family—that would suit me the best.”

“Are you sure you can’t? I always thought the Amish were very forgiving.”

“It’s hard to explain. Even though forgiveness of others who have personally wronged you is stressed, this is different. Leaving the Amish is leaving my only hope for heaven. That’s how it looks in my church. If you’re born Amish, you must stay Amish to have a chance of reaching heaven. Maybe in the New Order churches there’s more leeway, but no, not in my strict Old Order church. There’s no forgiveness for me as long as I stay outside the church.”

“I guess I don’t know as much as I thought about the Amish, huh?”

“Don’t feel bad. Even we Amish have trouble understanding all the rules.”

They rode the rest of the way back to the Schrocks’ in silence, and when Leah got out of the car, Sally handed her a Christmas card.

“Consider this a bonus for work well done.”

Leah thanked her and gave her a hug. “You’re one of the best people I’ve ever known, Sally. Thanks for taking a chance on me.”

“Aww, go on in and warm up now, honey girl.”

Leah closed the car door but turned to wave, knowing Sally would wait until she was safely inside.

The house was quiet this late at night, but when she went into the apartment, Leah was delighted to see a little Christmas tree shining and twinkling in the corner by the TV. She sat down on the couch facing the tree as she undid her coat buttons and removed her gloves. The lights blinked off and on in cheerful greeting.

Hannah’s bedroom door opened slowly and she appeared, yawning, a groggy smile across her face. She sat on the chair opposite Leah and both watched the tree for a while in silence.

“I love it, Hannah,” said Leah finally.

“I thought about it last week when I saw the little tree on my way home from work. Tonight I thought, ‘Why not?’”

“It’s so pretty! Thanks for doing this. Did you get the lights, too?”

“Yes, and Naomi had a few extra ornaments she brought down.”

Hannah stood up and shuffled into the kitchen, her slippers slapping the cold floor softly. “How about some hot cocoa since we’re both awake?”

“Sure.”

Leah leaned her head against the sofa, closing her eyes. She hummed one of the carols she’d heard in the car.

If only I could have my family and this world, too. If only …

“Hey! Are you sleeping now that I have the cocoa ready?”

“Sorry. I wore myself out, I guess, at the party.” Leah sat up and took the mug of cocoa. “Thanks, Hannah.”

“You’re welcome. How did it go, by the way?”

“It was fun. It was hard work, but I felt good doing something nice for others.” She faced her friend. “It reminded me of what our families do. Helping others.”

“The difference is we get to do it because we want to now, and not to please our parents or a bishop, right?”

Leah didn’t answer.

“Oh, by the way, a Christmas postcard came for you today. Here it is.” Her eyes twinkled as she handed the card to Leah.