The Most Uncommon Cold I - Life in the Time of Zombies (34 page)

    
As he raised himself gradually to his feet, he was slowly shaking his head. A flash of rage hit me as I heard him chuckling.  “Damn, Thomas!  You could finduh turd in a fielduh diamonds!”  The chuckle grew into a full-throated laugh.   

    
The rage I had felt for an instant was gone.  I could not help but join in with Joey’s laughter. It felt good to laugh.  Maybe it was the release of tension.  Maybe it was a way of letting go of some of the horrible images of death that had been stuck in my head.  Maybe it was a way of spitting in the face of an absurd twist of fate which would put us here on a strangely empty highway beside a car stuck on a tree trunk.

    
Even more absurd was the idea of Louis providing the voice of sanity. “It’s a bad idea to be standing here beside the road drawing attention to ourselves.  We need to get moving.” 

    
We both stopped laughing.  Not because of what the old man had said but because of the strong smell of gasoline.

    
As if on cue, the three of us tilted our heads to the side and stooped over to look under the car.  The source of the smell was clear as we saw a small stream of gas trickling from under the car to the ground. 

    
“Son of a bitch!” I yelled.

    
“You got that right.”  Joey commented.  “Now what?”

    
“It looks like we have a slight change of plans.”  Louis Stoaffer observed.  “However, in any case, I think our first order of business should be to get away from this road.”

    
I was surprised to find myself agreeing with the old guy. “Right, even if the cops are following a bogus description from our friends in the grocery store, they’re going to be fired up and moving through the area.  Not a good idea to be around.”

    
“Okay, so we gotta get outta sight, but where to?”  Joey asked.

    
Louis Stoaffer answered with surprising enthusiasm.  “If I am not mistaken, just over these hills is a little town called Chrystal Springs.  We can hike it in a few hours and then hideout nearby until it gets dark.  I am assuming that one of you is talented enough to appropriate another vehicle.”

    
“Lissen to you!  I’m pretty sure by appropriate another vehicle you mean steal ‘nother car.”  Joey jumped in.  “Yer a regular criminal genius, Lou!”

    
“Well, I have to say that you’re making a lot of sense, Louis.” I said almost against my will.   “We should push the car outta sight and then get going.”

    
The old man got in the car and put it into neutral while Joey and I pushed from behind.  The car refused to budge even a little despite all of our efforts. None of us liked leaving the car out in the open for anyone to see, but after a few unsuccessful attempts at pushing it off of the stump we had to admit defeat. 

    
Stoaffer was behind the wheel. Joey and I were leaning against the back of the car trying to catch our breaths and come up with other ideas.  The white and green police car had pulled onto the gravel of the shoulder twenty yards away from us before any of us had even noticed it.

    
As the crunching of tires on gravel announced the cars arrival, Joey’s head jerked toward the sound and then his eyes darted to the backseat of the Lincoln where his gun sat.  As I saw his reaction, my stomach dropped. I pictured a shootout there on the side of the road. A shootout that would not end well for anyone.     

    
To my utter astonishment, Stoaffer popped out of the car and strolled quickly over to the patrol car.  I say he strolled, because he seemed to bounce as he walked. It was like he was going to meet some old pal. 

    
The tall thin cop was starting to climb out of the car.  As Louis Stoaffer reached the car, the officer must have felt somewhat pinned in by the old man standing directly in front of him.  Instead of getting out of the car, he fell back into the seat and looked out at him.

    
“Good afternoon, officer.”  Louis’ greeting seemed genuinely enthusiastic.  “As you can see, we had a bit of car trouble.  Already called a friend for some help.  He should be arriving in no time.” 

    
Even from the distance, Louis Stoaffer’s smile lit up his whole head. 

    
“You sure you don’t need anything?”  The cop glanced over at Joey and me.

    
The old man answered slowly, “No, like I said we’re just waiting on a friend.  Besides I hear you’ve got some big problems in Plymouth.”

    
“Yeah, makes you wonder what the world’s coming to.”  The cop paused and shook his head for a moment.  “Little town like Plymouth, stuff like this sure isn’t supposed to happen.”  He paused again as if considering whether or not to continue.  “Those were good people who got killed for no good reason.”  Another pause. “But we got the sons of bitches that did it!  That’s something I guess.”

    
I shot Joey a rather confused look at the cop’s words.

    
“Well, if you‘re sure you got it under control, I should head back down the road.”  The cop said to Louis. 

    
“Thanks, officer, we don’t want to take up any more of your time.”  Louis answered and the added, “Glad to hear that justice was done!”

    
The cop did not say anything in reply.  Instead he simply nodded and as soon as Louis stepped away from the car pulled the door closed.  He glanced over in our direction as the patrol car swung back onto the highway.

    
“Lou, yer one smooth old basterd!”  Joey walked over to smack Stoaffer on the shoulder. 

    
The old man looked at me and noticed my clear expression of unease. “Thomas, what’s troubling you?”

    
“I’m just wondering what he meant by sayin’ they ‘got the sons of bitches that did it’.”

    
“Oh, Thomas!”  Joey looked at me and shook his head.  “Yuh need tuh lighten up.  Yuh heard the cop, right?  That means nobody’s lookin’ fer us.”

    
“I just wonder who the cops got, that’s all.” I answered a little apologetically.

    
“It don’t matter!”  Joey looked at me and chuckled.   “Maybe those fag models from the magazine yuh showed ‘em picked the wrong day to visit the area.”

    
“You’re right!”  I said forcing myself to feel optimistic. “What matters is that we have a little breathing room.”

    
“I’m glad to see we’re all putting on our happy faces, but we still need to get to San Pietro.”  Stoaffer commented.  “I suggest that we keep to the plan.  Hike over these hills to Chrystal Springs and then lay low until dark.”

     “I agree.” Again, my agreement with Louis surprised me to the point that I had trouble getting the words out of my mouth. “We can’t wait around for someone to start feeling guilty and change their story to the cops.”

     “Let’s stop talkin’ then and go!” Joey added