The Murder of Jeffrey Dryden: The Grim Truth Surrounding Male Domestic Abuse (10 page)

For instance, the National Violence
Against Women conducted a study in 1997, which surveyed
approximately 16,000 households divided equally into men and women.
Its findings showed that men physically assaulted their female
partners 3 times more than women assaulted their male lovers;
however, this study is biased as it is classified as a “Crime
Survey,” which is purposely designed to show a much higher rate of
injury not acts of violence. Crime studies “are presented to
respondents as a study of crime, crime victimization, personal
safety, injury, or violence, rather than as studies of family
problems and conflicts as most male domestic abuse studies; Family
conflict studies show a much higher rate of assaults (Straus,
1999).” Depending on the type of survey used to support and obtain
the data, “600,000 to 6 million women are victims of domestic
violence each year, and between 100,000 to 6 million men (Gelles
& Staus, 1990).” In addition to this startling bias, research
has shown that Feminist funded studies have also added to the scope
of abuse by men towards women to include such non-physical, and
non-violent areas such as, “acts of lying, humiliation, withholding
information, sharing of wealth, and refusing to help with child
care or housework (Sally L. Satel, 1997).”

As mentioned above, current government
sponsored funding into the research of domestic violence, refuses
to fund studies on men being abused by women, as in their eyes men
cannot be victims of a non-existent crime.

For example, the Center for Disease
Prevention and Control (CDC) has a list on their website for
programs designed to prevent violence against women, these programs
stress services to women, but contain no information services
available to men (Detschelt, 2011). Thus leaving it to each state
to determine if abuse of a male by a female is, a crime, or finding
as Ellen Pence, founder of the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project
and a leader in the battered women’s movement stated, “Domestic
Violence against men is just not a social problem (Lewin,
1992).”

Defending Female Violence
against Men

“
I have never forgiven you
for the way you looked at me the first time I hit you.”

“
How did I look,” I
asked.

“
You looked hurt and
shocked… angry and disgusted with me,”

“
How should I have looked
after you hit me?” I asked

“
I needed you to understand
how I was feeling at the time. I needed your support, not your
anger, your disgust.” She said. “That was the day she stabbed me in
the arm, the day I found the courage to leave.”

Feminist as a whole view all forms of
domestic abuse as an, “Essential element of the vast male
conspiracy to suppress and subordinate women, not through one
individual male but with the patriarch society as a whole (Sally L.
Satel, 1997).” As such, the only reason men use violence against
women is to maintain the essences of the patriarch society. In
laymen terms, some feminist believe that men use violence against
women to remain “All powerful,” and therefore in order to do this,
one must use violence against the “completely powerless” (does that
sound like a certain kind of reasoning?).

In any case, because of this belief,
several feminist groups have come to the decision to admit that,
“yes women use violence as much as men do,” but they make sure to
add, “However, women only use violence as self-defense against
their abusive male partners.” Though this would be a great opening
statement in court, this defenses loses momentum when we look at
the amount of domestic violence against women by women in same-sex
relationships.

A 1994 study on Intra-Lesbian violence
concluded that, “54% of lesbians reported having been physically
assaulted in their current relationship by their female lover as
opposed to on 14% of gay men reporting abuse by their male lovers
(Lie & Gentlewarrior, 1994.)”

Despite these findings on lesbian
domestic violence, feminist and supporting advocates that defend
violence against men as self-defense offer no statistical or
supportive information to their defense and again just rely on the
circular reasoning notion that men are all powerful and women are
completely powerless, thus to them it is a justifiable defense
because it’s a defense that’s justifiable.

That said if we take things a step
further and take their belief that women only use violence as
self-defense against their abusive male lovers there are statistics
that even show this defense to be in error.

For instance, a 5-year study conducted
around nearly 1000 women in California concluded that nearly 20% of
the women surveyed admitted to physical aggression against their
male lovers (Fiebert & Gonzales, 1997). When asked, the most
common reason the women in the study gave for assaulting their male
lovers were, “(1) My partner wasn’t sensitive to my needs; (2) I
wished to gain my partner’s attention and; (3) My partner was not
listening to me.”

When asked for a more detailed reason
as to why they assaulted their male partners their answers gave
light to the simplistic ideals embedded in our consciousness due to
our society’s use of social conditioning over the years. The women
in this survey gave the five following reasons as their most
favorable answers: “(1) Men can readily protect themselves so I
don’t worry when I become physically aggressive (24% agreed). (2) I
have found that men have been TRAINED (Conditioned) not to hit a
woman and therefore I am not fearful of retaliation from my partner
(19% agreed). (3) I believe if women truly are equal to men, then I
should be able to physically express my anger to them (13% agreed).
(4) I leaned when growing up that I could be physically aggressive
towards my brother(s) and they wouldn’t fight back (12% agreed) and
(5) I sometimes find when I express my anger physically I become
turned on sexually, (8% agreed).” Interesting to note that from
this study the reasoning of self-defense was at the very low end of
reasons for using physical aggression toward their male
lover.

In two studies conducted by the same
researcher, a year apart of each other, each study found that the
most common type of male behavior that resulted in abuse by a
female lover or spouse was some minor violation of the household
rules, (i.e., leaving the toilet seat up, forgetting to take the
garbage out etc.) (Sarantakos, 1999). This study found that the
three most common reasons women gave for abusing their male
partners were, “(1) to resolve the argument, (2) to respond to
family crisis, (3) To “Stop him bothering me!”

Several other studies have been done as
well, each study concluding the same basic findings that women are
not only the partner who initiated the act of violence but they
also did so for reasons other than self-defense.

For example a survey in 1986 reported
that, “As many as 73% of women who used violence against their
husbands stated that they had used violence first (Bland & Orn,
1986).” A 1992 study reported that “nearly 53% of the women in
their sample initiated Violence against their lover, (Stets &
Straus, 1992).”

Legal Terrorism

In 1977 the feminist movement was still
growing to a massive scale, as such when Steinmetz brought her
findings to the public it was not well received; in fact, many
women rights organizations, and feminist groups found that though
Steinmetz was female she was an activist for anti-feminism. Thus,
Steinmetz, her findings, and even the research model in which her
findings were based upon were attacked on a massive
scale.

However, it did not end there, as
Steinmetz and her family was threatened with acts of violence by
hate mail, threatening phone calls and even death and bomb threats,
thus terrorizing her and her family’s lives on a day-to-day basis.
Furthermore, at the University of Delaware where she taught, every
female faculty member was lobbied by women’s right organizations in
an attempt to prevent Steinmetz from receiving her
tenure.

Additionally, because the public,
influenced by the media and feminist organization had already
considered Steinmetz as an Anti-feminist activist, her work on the
subject was deemed biased on its own face value.

It should be also noted that other
researchers that were looking into the idea of husband abuse, or
rather male domestic abuse were also being treated in the same way
and thus most researchers since that time have shied away from
doing such reports for fear of retaliation by the terrorist
movement known as extreme feminism.

Chapter
Conclusion

Though it may sound as if I have some
sort of hatred or grudge towards females or that I am against
female rights, let me state openly that I am not. The purpose of
this chapter was not to de-emphasize the principle truths of
domestic violence or violence against women by men as I fully admit
it happens and something needs to be done to stop such
abuse.

That said the purpose of this chapter
was to open your eyes to the truth behind truth. Before reading
this chapter, the idea of a man being abused by his female lover
may have seemed like something only heard of in rumor or something
of an isolated and/or random event to you. The purpose of this
chapter was to open your eyes to such random, isolated rumors, to
let you see the truth hidden behind the deception and ignorance,
the notion that Domestic Violence is not just a female only issue
but also that men, just as well as women are victims of domestic
abuse.

As you will see in the next chapter,
women can be and are at times just as dangerous, just as
controlling and abusive as men, and their anger, rage and use of
violence can and sometimes does lead to the death of their abused
victim, as was the case with Jeff Dryden.

The chapter that follows details the
findings by the Medical Examiner at Chiquita’s preliminary hearing.
These findings are descriptive in nature and prove beyond
reasonable doubt (in my opinion at least) that Jeff was being
physically abused. These findings also indicate and display the
last minutes of Jeff’s life, and the torture, which Chiquita placed
upon him before inflicting the deathblow.

At the beginning of this chapter, I
asked you what was the first image that came to your mind when you
thought of domestic violence, knowing that most would see a woman
being abused by their dominating male lover. I asked you what type
of woman you envisioned; was she timid and shy, or was she strong
and ready to strike back against her abuser… I wonder now, after
reading all the statistical data above, after reading the
conspiracy set in motion by the feminist movement.

After reading and learning about their
terroristic tactics to keep the truth hidden from the public, from
our society, I wonder if you will still envision a woman being
abused every time you think of domestic violence. I wonder if you
will be able to open your mind, open your eyes and begin to think
on your own as you read the next chapter. Will you be able to see
it? Will you begin to see the truth hidden behind the lies, the
truth hidden behind truth?

CHAPTER 11: AUGUST 19
2010

PRE-TRAIL HEARING

“
I was scared that someone
would get hurt by Chiquita’s friends and family. The first time we
went to court, there was a woman sitting on her side and she had a
red shirt on. She stared at me the whole time, and when I would
turn to look at her, made these terrible gestures at me.”
---Paula Dryden (Victims Mother)

The day was warm, humid, and slightly
sunny as all my family members arrived at the Wyoming Court House
in small clusters that summer afternoon. Normally on this day my
brothers, sisters, and I would be celebrating the birth of our
mother, praising her for being 29 years old for more than a decade.
Honored to have such a wonderful and loving person to call our own,
yet this time things were far different.

This day… this day, we came together as
one group of friends and family united in purpose. Preparing
ourselves to lay witness to the woman, the monster that took our
beloved. We came to look upon evil, came to gape upon the fiend,
the beast in shackles that plagued our hearts, our thoughts, and
our dreams from the moment, the day her anger and her rage slain
our beloved in cold blood.

Tensions were high that afternoon as
Paula and her group of combatants arrived. Everyone’s eyes quickly
taking heed to the white lettering scribed upon the back of the
dark tinted windows of their vehicles. Words of tribute, symbols
that would reflect in the sight of others, outsiders that would
gaze upon their splendor, their importance, these words placed in
remembrance, memorial of a man, a son, a brother, cousin and friend
named Jeffrey Scott Dryden.

Prior to the official commencement of
the pre-trial hearing, we were kept separate from the supporters of
his murderer, allowed into the courtroom first in hopes of
minimizing the hostilities between the opposing masses. Odd, it
seemed in retrospect, just as in other courts across the country,
the family of the accused feels the need to blame the victim’s
family for their loved ones actions.

This was ever so prevalent, ever so
real, when Chiquita’s group of supporters took their seats on the
wooden benches just opposed to us. Their thoughts ever prevailing
through the tension of the room as they gazed angrily, heatedly
with narrowed brows at Jeff’s family and friends, gawking and
sighing coldly at us every time Paula gasped for breath or gave a
distraught, tormenting gasp.