The Murder of Jeffrey Dryden: The Grim Truth Surrounding Male Domestic Abuse (18 page)

“
No… No it was an accident…
an accident,” she carried on until members of her family walked her
out of the courtroom and into the hallway as the friends and family
of Chiquita followed. It was only after she left, after her family
followed her out into the hallway that Judge Johnston spoke once
more. “Well that’s much better.” He stated, causing a bit of
laughter in the room, helping the tension fade away as his court
officers called reinforcements up from the lobby to assist with
evacuating us from the floor.

Nate Reens, a reporter from the Grand
Rapids Press was there with us that day in the courtroom and
reported on the events that took place. In his report titled,
“Killer's family decries sentence in death of Wyoming man,” Reens
stated: “Chiquita Fizer, after serving between 14 ½ and 45 years in
prison for stabbing her boyfriend, Jeffrey Dryden, to death last
July, will someday greet relatives upon her release while Jason
Dryden will never see his twin brother again .

“
Yet it was the 22-year-old
Fizer's family who was emphatic today that the second-degree murder
sentence ordered by Kent County Circuit Judge Donald Johnston was
unfair.” Reens stated in his report. Oddly enough, this is the same
Judge Johnston that Chiquita’s aunt earlier stated, “I pray heavily
that Judge Donald Johnston and the family of this young man show
and have mercy on my niece Chiquita,” I wonder if she prays for the
judge still.

In the hallway as we waited with court
officers in the immediate area, Jason felt the need to hug
Chiquita’s family members such as her mother and aunt. After all,
in all fairness it was not the family that killed his brother but
rather their niece. Sadly, however, some members of her family took
this hug to mean more than its intention as you will later see and
read.

Later on, as we sat in the
Victims/witnesses room waiting for the coast to be cleared by the
Court officers, Nate Reens located Jason and asked him how he and
his family felt about the sentencing. Jason stated, “My family and
I are dismayed that Fizer could be free before she turns 36, but
more than that we are disappointed that she still refuses to take
responsibility for Jeff’s death and admit that she willingly
stabbed him and killed him that night.” Jason said.

To monitor Chiquita, her time spent in
jail and her future parole and/or release date go to:

http://www.state.mi.us/mdoc/asp/otis2.asp

CHAPTER 20:

DID YOU FEEL IT?

As an author, a poet, and an artist
(yes, I draw too), there are certain things that I do to express
myself and to vent. Thus, what is written below was something I
shared a few hours later with my family and friends, posting it on
Jeff’s Memorial Facebook Page.

Originally, I wasn’t going to add this
to the book, but Amanda Morris, (one of my cousins) said that I
should as it turned a tragic event into something to be good,
something pure. Thus, I now share it to the world in this book, to
emphasis the feelings that members of my family and I have felt and
were feeling in court that day. Thoughts and words we wanted so
very much to express.

***

Did you feel it?

Did you feel it in that
moment?

That dreaded cracking of your heart.
Those pauses of misery rake through your body like the plunge of a
jagged blade through your flesh, as you heard those words cast down
upon you.

Did you feel the blood pulsing through
your body slacken as if all hope was lost?

The heartache and nauseating feeling
building rapidly in the pit of your stomach like a raging inferno
engulfing you in its ominous wake.

Did you feel it?

Did you feel the pounding of your heart
in your chest, crashing through you like a breaking wave of
helplessness as you saw your beloved one’s eyes gleam with
distraught tears?

Did you feel the weakening of your
knees crashing to the floor from your own weight as you gazed
heatedly into the disdainful eyes of the family across the room,
gazing back at you with contempt, with loathing, to the pleasure of
your gut wrenching hurt?

Did you feel it all upon you in those
passing seconds when the authenticity of what was going on came
upon you, slicing into you like a blade through your gullet,
sickening you with the twisted images of despair and
dread?

Did you feel it… I ask?

Did you feel as if the world around you
had betrayed you?

That life as you knew it had ended and
all you knew were lies of the world’s deceit, the pain of the world
in which you never thought would be forced upon you, raping you of
your innocents, of your ignorance of others grief.

Did you feel it that day?

The hurt, the pain, the loss, the
betrayal, the hatred, the anger, the rage coursing through your
veins as if it had become a part of your being, and all you thought
you would ever know from that moment on was that ache, that sadness
and sorrow, that loss of love for as long as breath passed through
your lungs?

Did you feel the hurt? Did
you?

Good...

Remember that every time you go to see
your beloved in prison… remember the pain they caused you and that
hurt they inflicted upon so many others.

Remember that dread in your heart every
time you talk to them, every time you hear their voice, and tell
them how much you love them and miss them… knowing... that what you
felt was nothing…

NOTHING to the continued pain, the
CONTINUED loss your loves victim’s will always feel…
REMEMBER…

Remember it always…Remember it
Eternal

CHAPTER 21:

A YEAR IN A MOTHERS EYES:
COPING WITH THE LOSS OF A MURDERED SON

At the end of the trial that spring
day, the family and friends of Jeff Dryden met at his grave with 40
Red and Black balloons (Jeff’s favorite colors) to honor his memory
and let him know in spirit, that his murder did not go
unanswered.

Tying the balloons together, Paula
attached a card with a special message she wanted to convey to her
departed son. The back of the envelope was addressed to, “Jeff
Dryden in Heaven.” As friends and family looked upon his bronze
inlaid tombstone, they said their final goodbye, sharing some of
their fondest memories with Jeff. Memories they kept close to their
heart, recollections that kept them going over the past year of
hell, memories that will forever keep them linked to the person,
the friend, the brother, nephew and son Jeff was and will always
be.

Through the year, from a few months
after Jeff’s murder, until shortly after his murderer’s conviction
and incarceration, I have heard the words and read the statements
made by members of Chiquita’s family boasting that they know
Paula’s pain, that they too are in pained for the sudden loss of
their own niece, daughter, cousin and friend.

I have heard their claims of
victimization for not just Jeff but also for their own blood,
claims that there were not just one victim that night but two, yet
I find these claims to be a travesty a mockery to the memory to
Jeff’s life.

Almost immediately, before Jeff’s body
was even cold they began to vaunt about Chiquita as being an
innocent, a victim, and knowing the pain, which Paula felt.
Comments of understanding, as if trying to show they could relate
to the pain and hurt she felt. I found this to be ever so
sickening.

It took Paula nearly two months after
Jeff’s murder to open up and share her thoughts, her torments, her
anger, rage and sadness with her friends and family, two long
months of silence until she was able to express and give her
feelings words on Jeff’s Memorial Facebook Page. Thus, what follows
herein are her comments to her fallen son, Jeffrey Scott Dryden in
the order they were written.

These feelings, these emotions allow us
to see a small glimpse, a glimmer of the pain she had felt and
continued to feel, when Detective Pols first knocked on her door
the morning of her son’s death. The torment she has felt every day,
every moment and every breath since.

***

September 4, 2010 at
11:11pm

“
I miss you so much and
think of you every minute of the day. I wish I could take July 18
back and change everything. Sometimes I wonder if I can go on
without you. I love you so much.”

September 12 2010 at
1:10am

“
It is Saturday night and I
am having trouble getting to sleep again, I remember 7 weeks ago
when I was woke up by a detective knocking on the door. He gave me
the worse news a mother can get. You were dead. I wanted to die
right there myself. I miss you so much. Sometimes when Jason hugs
me I want to think that it is you. I know that you are watching
over me, but I want you here physically with me. It makes me feel
like you are with me when I write to you. I will love you
forever.”

September 12 2010 at
930pm

“
Today Jason came over and
we watched the Michigan game and Nascar, both of those you loved to
do. I kept thinking of you and the way you used to hug and kiss me
goodbye. I miss you sooo much. I can’t believe that it has been 7
weeks since you were taken from us. I know you are watching over us
and that makes me feel a little better, but just wanted to tell you
that I LOVE YOU”

September 14 2010 at
2:12pm

“
Tony misses you so much,
he cries every night. I told him to write on your page and he would
feel better, I KNOW I DO. He says he doesn’t know where to start.
One of these days, he will write. I LOVE AND MISS YOU SO
MUCH.

September 17 2010 at
6:04pm

“
I can’t believe it is two
months ago, it really does seem sooo much longer. I say tell
Grandma and Grandpa Hi from me too. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH.”

September 18 2010 at
11:31am

“
Not a good day today, I
can’t stop crying, two months ago today was the worse day of my
life. God, I miss you so much. I Love You”

October 10 2010 at
11:56am

“
Jeff, I miss you so much,
I thought it would get a little easier with time, but I can put on
a good front to people, and I’m really going thru hell right now. I
miss you sooo much and I need you so much. What am I going to do
without you? I just wish that bitch would rot in hell. I will love
and miss you forever and ever.”

October 18, 2010 at
11:57am

“
Three months ago today, I
got the worst news anyone could ever get. My baby was dead, my life
was changed forever. I miss you every minute of the day. I love
you.”

November 6, 2010 at
7:21pm

“
Today started off pretty
good, I went and bought Katelyn and Sammie new winter jackets and
brought them over to Jill's. The girls love them, and then on the
way home I thought I would stop at the cemetery to talk to you.
Then I lost it. I sat down and talked and cried so hard, I even
yelled. That place is dark, lonely, and ugly without all of the
flowers. I wish you weren’t there. I miss you so much. I love you
my boy.”

November 18, 2010 at
11:10am

“
It has been 4 months today
since you left us. It seems so much longer than that. I think about
you every minute of the day, I miss you so much. I didn't think it
was possible to miss someone this much. You are my baby, and always
will be the love of my life. I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH”

November 22, 2010 at
4:15pm

“
I just got back from the
grocery store, to get food for Thanksgiving, and I started crying
while I was standing in line to pay. I felt so stupid, but I just
can't stop thinking of you. How am I going to get through the
Holidays without you? I miss you so much. Oh God, I LOVE YOU SO
MUCH.”

November 28, 2010 at
10:11pm

“
We put a beautiful a
Christmas wreath at the cemetery this afternoon, one for you and
one for Grandma and Grandpa who are taking care of you up in
heaven. I have been sitting here going through you pictures,
missing you so much. I Love You”

December 18, 2010 at
3:33pm

“
Honey, it's been 5 months
today since you were taken from us, and I miss you more and more
each day. You're a very special angel now, watching over us all. We
all love and miss you so much.”

January 18 at
3:33pm

“
Jeff, the last time I
heard you say I Love You Mom was 6 months ago today, about 6 hours
before you were killed. I'm lucky that I still hear Jason say I
Love You Ma, Jill say I Love You Momma, and Josh say I Love You
MAMA, but I would do anything to hear your voice just one more
time. I miss you so much, Jason and I just got home from the
cemetery and I wish I could hear your distinct voice, but I didn't.
One day I will hear you again up in Heaven, but until then I will
think of you every minute of every day. I LOVE YOU,
MOM.”

January 29 at
9:21pm