The Murder of Jeffrey Dryden: The Grim Truth Surrounding Male Domestic Abuse (16 page)

I knew that only a few of Jeff’s
friends and family would be willing to share their words and
thoughts as many had used their letters as a way of expressing
their last thoughts of sadness and grief with the judge. Their last
way to express the grief, the hate, pain, and anger they felt for
the person that severed apart of their life from them.

Therefore, what follows are only a few
of the letters that were written, these letters are from those
members of our family willing and wanting to let everyone know what
the loss of Jeff meant to them, therefore, I will start with my
letter to the judge.

***

To the Honorable Chief Judge Donald
Johnston:

I remember as a child a question given
to the class one spring afternoon by our teacher who told us a
story about a bus and its passengers.

He stated that there was a bus on the
corner of some random street, picking up people waiting to get on.
He told us that two people were already on the bus including the
bus driver, and how at the first stop the bus picked up a brother,
an uncle, a cousin, a future brother-in-law, a future son-in-law, a
co-worker, a man, a son, a nephew, and a best friend. At the second
stop, one person as well as the bus driver got off, but how many
people remained He asked.

As children not too enthusiastic on the
ways of the world, everyone answered by stating that there were
still 10 people on the bus, yet every student in class got the
answer wrong. When we asked him to explain how many there were, he
looked around the class and said with a smile, “only one… one
person could be a brother, an uncle, a cousin, a son, a man and so
on. One person can be so many things to so many different people
and thus touch the hearts of everyone around them.” Through the
years thereafter, growing up I always knew that everyone had some
sort of effect on the people around them, that we all share some
sort of bond, some sort of social conflict theory that effects
every aspect of our lives.

Thus, when making your decision at
Chiquita Fizer’s sentencing, I ask that you please keep in mind
that when Chiquita took it upon herself to murder my cousin, Jeff
Dryden, she did not just kill one man, one person, but she killed
everyone on that bus, that in some respect she is a mass murderer.
Chiquita took from this world everything that Jeff could have been,
everything that Jeff was, and ruined not just her life and Jeff’s
life but the lives of everyone that knew him; everyone that loved
him and everyone that could have been blessed by his kindness, his
friendship, and his love in their lives.

Chiquita, by the will of her own doing,
brought a black cloud of sadness and grief upon the lives of
everyone that knew Jeff, her actions continue to cause constant
ripples of torment and dread in the lives of so many others that
will continue for decades to come. Chiquita took away the memories
of future birthdays, future Christmases, future moments of
togetherness, future moments of sadness and love; she took these
all away in one simple act of selfishness; anger and
rage.

The pain that everyone feels for this
loss continues to linger on even now by her own selfish actions,
holding herself to a sense of disrespectful innocence, claiming no
contest for her immature actions, thus taking no responsibility for
her crime or the suffering and torture she has brought upon so many
others. For it became obviously clear what she fears when she came
to you twice in one day, only to finally plead out as long as she
could do so with a “no contest.” Chiquita fears to hear those words
upon her own breath, fears to hear herself admit that she is a
killer, a murderer, a person that took the life of an innocent and
now at the moment of her maturity, she still falters to become
adult, falters to become worthy of the term “Human.”

For even a dog, a pet, a domesticated
animal can show signs of remorse for their actions; can admit when
they are wrong and even show regret for the cause and effect of
their guilt. Some will say that Chiquita also became a victim that
night, but honestly speaking, do we see male abusers of woman as
victims or as aggressors to a crime? Why then should we not see
Chiquita for what she has allowed herself to become. She is not a
victim but a murderer, a killer, and she should be held fully
accountable for her actions.

Thus, your Honor, I ask you sir to
reflect on the letters from all those others that have written to
you on this matter, and heed the testimony of the Jeff’s stricken
family. I ask that you weigh heavily all of this when making your
sentencing, regardless what was agreed upon by the prosecution and
the defense, you dear sir, you still have the right and the power
to push Chiquita in the right direction. You have the ability to
help her see the true errors of her way’s and impose a sentence
befitting of one that shows no sign of remorse. Knows not the
impact of her actions upon this world or the suffering she has
placed upon all our souls, for even lady justice, which is blinded
by the lies of other can see through the falsity and see the
murderer Chiquita Fizer is through the veil of justice. For even
Lady Justice, weeps a tear behind her veil for the murder of
innocents under her watch.

Respectfully

Troy Veenstra

Cousin of Jeff Dryden

***

My name is Joshua Dryden the youngest
brother of Jeffrey Dryden. I would like to take a moment of your
time to inform you about my life before and after the passing of my
departed brother.

Growing up for most of our lives the
sons of a single mother, I looked to my eldest brother Jeff Dryden
for support, guidance, and advice. Reflecting on it, I dare say he
was one of my father figures; after all, he was the one whom taught
me to shave and tie a necktie. He also was a very generous person,
not only did he buy our sisters first car when she needed it, he
also paid for me to go on my high school senior class trip to
Florida.

My brother was not made of money by any
means but he always put our struggling family first before his own
needs and wants. Through his selflessness, he instilled in me a
sense of family duty and unity.

A unity that continues to be tested and
strained through the dismal times ahead of us due to the abrupt
passing of our anchor. Since his passing, our family has entered a
bleak period. Every day there is a sense of emptiness that grows
with each passing day. Holidays, Birthdays, Vacations are forever
changed for the worst since the only thing on all of our minds will
be “I wish Jeff was here to enjoy this.”

Not only did my brother’s life end on
July 18 2010 in a violent and painful way, but a portion of
everyone lucky enough to know him ended as well. His passing was a
tragedy that will forever encumber our family and friends. I have
sleepless nights and gloomy days as I think to myself “I wish I
could forget how my brother Jeff died and just remember how he
lived.” but unfortunately that is not the case. People say, “Time
heals all wounds.” However, so far time has only expanded my
wound.

We offered the plea to Chiquita,
because we knew our mother would not be able to deal with the
stress of a trial. Sadly, most people still won’t except the idea
of a man being abused by a woman or that a male was a victim of
domestic abuse, in this case however, he was.

I honestly can’t say why he stayed in
the relationship. She did not take the plea right away and that
cause more suffering for our family. The idea of her being
rehabilitated in prison in 15 years sits all right with me, but in
the event, she does not see the error of her ways I ask of you to
impose the maximum sentence so no one else will be put through what
my family is enduring and will continue to endure all throughout
our days.

On the night of his death, I sent a
text that would later be my last to my brother. I said, “Bro what’s
up?” and he said, “Working, what else?” I replied, “Doesn’t your
company know people don’t work on Saturdays?” I wish I would have
included an “I love you,” somewhere in that message…

Joshua Dryden

Younger Brother of Jeff
Dryden

***

Your Honor,

I would like to tell you a little bit
about Jeffrey Dryden. He was born an identical twin; Jeff and his
brother have been inseparable since birth. What one did the other
would follow, usually Jeff was the leader, his father died before
he was two-years old and was raised by a single mother. He was
funny, always laughing, and a charming, sweet young man, slept with
his mouth open (one way to tell Jeff apart from his
brother).

He was always taking home stray
animals, and as he got older, he would offer his friends a place to
stay if they needed one (Before asking his mother’s permission). He
was a loving brother, always watching out for his brothers and
sister. A great son, watching out for his mom, I think he thought
he was the man of the family, being the oldest by a few
minutes.

He had many friends as a child,
friendships that have lasted his entire short life. As a friend, he
would offer advice and was there for a shoulder to lean on without
having to use such words like, “I told you so,” or “you should have
known better.” Never judging, never inferring, just listening and
being there when he was needed the most. He hated acts of violence
and would do anything possible to avoid a physical
confrontation.

Jeff graduated from Lee High School in
the top 5 of class and went on to take classes at Davenport while
working the factory life. He was a hard worker, who loved his job
and the people he worked around (How many people these days do you
know that can actually look forward to going to work at a dead in
job and say they love being there with their fellow co-workers?).
The one thing that is important, if somebody, somehow, someway hurt
him, he was always ready to forgive and let live.

I wish I could be a forgiving as he
was, but it’s hard to when the person that hurt you; a hurt that
will last your entire life, won’t even admit to the guilt, admit to
the actions she took that night when she killed Jeff. The family
and friends of Jeff have had their lives changed
forever.

His twin brother is now a twin-less
twin, and seems almost lost without his brother by his side; his
other siblings have a hole in their lives that cannot ever be
filled. His mother will never hold a child of Jeff’s and think how
much he looks like, reminds her of him, nor will she ever be able
to hear him say the words, “I love you mom,” ever again and yet…
Chiquita’s Mom… her aunt will always be able to go see her. Hear
her words, and hear her tell them how much she loves them, how much
she misses them… how much she can’t wait to hold them in her arms
once more… something that none of US shall never be able to do,
thanks to her actions that night… the night she killed my nephew,
Jeffrey Scott Dryden…

Roxanne Guild

Jeff’s aunt

***

Dear Judge Johnston:

I am Jeff Dryden's cousin. We grew up
together. Our family was close, always celebrating holidays and
even birthdays together. So you could say Jeff was an important
person in my life. As we grew older we still hung out together,
before I had my daughter I was at Jeff's house all the time. We did
all kinds of things, we took a trip to Canada, the casino, the
beach and other places. I remember having grill-outs and dinner at
Jeff's house with his other friends. Jeff was fun to be around he
always had friends over, he was definitely well liked. I have NEVER
know Jeff to be physically violent, he tried to avoid that kind of
stuff he didn't care for the drama, he just liked being around
people that he cared about. Jeff was the kind of person that would
give you the shirt off his back even if he needed it. He was always
laughing and having a good time.

His death has changed my life. There is
a missing piece of my past and my future. I can no longer see or
spend time with my cousin like I used to. No more family events
with him there, or playing volleyball with him at Indian Valley. It
was fun playing volleyball with him, he wasn't very good at it but
he definitely gave it his all and was never a sore loser or winner.
It hurts me bad when my daughter, who has only gotten the chance to
be around him a few times, looks at his picture and says "Let’s go
see him" or "I miss Jeff". She will never get to know him, but she
can sense that I miss him and that I am sad he is gone. It hurts me
even more when I think of Jill's children (Jeff's nieces) growing
up not knowing their uncle or Jason doing things, that he normally
does with Jeff, alone.

I can't stop thinking of how scared
Jeff was that night and how he was alone and I feel terrible. I
wish I could have helped him or been there to stop what was going
on, but I wasn't and I wish I could change it because he still
might be here today and we wouldn't have to go through all this
pain. I miss Jeff every day and I will miss him forever. When I
hear one of his favorite songs, I cry. I love Jeff and there isn't
a day that goes by that I don't think of him, he is always in my
thoughts. He had a full life ahead of him that he didn't get the
chance to live.

I think that Chiquita Fizer should get
more than 15 years because the people that love and care about Jeff
have to go on without him and will constantly be reminded of the
void that his death has left. She stole from a lot of people,
something that can't be given back. I also think that while she is
serving her time she should have to do some kind of anger
management class and get counseling for her anger issues, so when
she actually is released no other family has to go through the pain
and sadness that my family and Jeff's friends is going
through.