The Murder of Jeffrey Dryden: The Grim Truth Surrounding Male Domestic Abuse (3 page)

The Postings War
Begins

Shortly after 11pm, a person with the
user name Boloney left the first comment on a Grand Rapids Press
article that stated almost the same chain of events as previous
mentioned above with the addition that the police took the
girlfriend into custody. However, the Local television stations
added the alleged (and later disproven) fact that Jeff was drunk at
the time of the incident. This mediated interpretation of the facts
would bring with it, what would become a long, drawn out war of
comments and posts.

Posts, comments, and even underlining
threats that would eventually draw in such absurd subjects as women
against men, legality against morality and sadly whites against
black (but not by who you might think). In the first comment of
over 100 on three different webpages, the battle between what
really happened and what the Media’s interpretation of what
happened played out in the hours and days that followed.

Oddly enough, I was also one of those
that participated in these comments. Defending my cousin to the
end, trying as best I could to set aside my anger and rage when I
could but finding it difficult to do so with such cultural
contempt.

The user Boloney stated in her comment,
“What if this was your sister, mom, daughter? News stations said
man was DRUNK and there was a lot of previous domestic violence.
Ever had a large drunk man waving a knife at you? What do you do?
Wave your arms around and try to keep the knife off you, or pull on
the handle. If he let go and she was pushing it away from herself
it could of easily, accidentally went into his neck. Her first
instincts were to protect herself. Why did Wyoming immediately
press charges? Cause she is poor and female? I hope she can get
good representation. SELF DEFENSE is not a criminal offense
WYOMING.

This comment is the perfect example of
the falsity of a Mediated Culture. In her statement where she
comments by saying that the, “News stations said man was DRUNK,”
the person making this comment is instantly directed to believe
that everything the media states is true. Even though in Chapter 11
of this book you will read testimony under oath by the Medical
Examiner that stated, “The Victim (Jeff) had no Alcohol in his
system prior to his death.” Furthermore, the commenter went on to
assume that the acts of domestic abuse were actions caused by the
male and not the female; in fact, her entire statement is based on
this assumption. However, as you will later discover in Chapter 10
of this book, studies show that women are more prone to use
violence and hit first before men, though again this information is
not normally reported by the media and thus unknown by
most.

In any event, this comment was followed
by another person shortly thereafter with the user name Enginmangr,
who stated, “This could be all in self-defense but it's not the
police's job to determine that. Their job is to find the body and a
suspect, not to sort out whose right, wrong, or why. The prosecutor
is responsible to determine what, if any, charges the suspect will
face. If she was acting in self-defense, that will be worked out in
court. Your theory though has one large hole in it: how would the
knife have entered this man's neck if he were pointing the blade at
her? Fair warning to the casual observer: supposed self-defense in
domestic violence situations tends to end up in voluntary
manslaughter convictions, which can still land a person in prison
for 15 years. Better than life without parole but still a bad deal
for the true victim of domestic violence, that is why it is crucial
for anyone in such a relationship to get out ASAP before events
like this happen.”

Shortly thereafter, a person also by
the name of Jeff who had known Jeff for some time went on and
posted, “that person that was stab at the crossroads apartments is
a close friend of my family! The suspects will pay! He is a brother
to one of my brother's friends and he will be missed!” These were
followed with several other comments from Jeff’s friends wanting
the public to know how great and compassionate a person Jeff Dryden
was and what he meant to them and how he helped them get through
some hard times in their life.

One commenter went on to add, “I want
everyone to know that Jeff was a good person and did not deserve to
go down like this. He was a great friend; my heart is very heavy,
right now. This was not a case of self-defense. He was Murdered,
Jeff we all love you and miss you. I will never forget
you.”

For the most part, every one that
commented that first day said their peace; gave their thoughts in a
constructive non-confrontational manner. Sadly, this only lasted
the first day as once Chiquita’s supporters seen the comments, the
war between the innocent and the guilty, the battle between the
accused and the true victim began and the line between right and
wrong was drawn. The power of words typed across the electric
highway began, and anyone that did not choose a side was either
protected or harshly threatened.

CHAPTER 2:

AUGUST 2008

The First
Encounter

There was nothing romantic with how
Jeff came to meet Chiquita Fizer. No gazing at her from afar as she
walked gracefully across a room, no illumination of the moon
casting its heavenly rays upon her, hitting her in just the right
way as to tantalize Jeff’s mind with euphoria as she swayed her
hips in an erythematic pattern.

No heart-pounding, earth-shattering
moments or hypnotic glances; nor visions of them strolling down the
beachside hand-in-hand feathering through Jeff’s mind, no, there
was nothing that would clue the average person to assume the two
would ever become, nor ever desire to become that vision of the
ever-loving, ever-lasting couple.

Nothing that would suggest the morals
of their thoughts and feelings would ever be intertwined with the
other. In fact, their first meeting, their first encounter was
something more primal than romantic, more physical and instinctual
than emotional. Their first encounter occurred on a sex based
website where Jeff, to put it bluntly, was looking for nothing more
than the next flavor of the week.

“
Jeff met Chiquita a few
months after his longtime girlfriend, Nicole, broke up with him,”
Jason Dryden, Jeff’s twin brother expressed when I interviewed him
for this book (Dryden, 2011). “Jeff was looking for nothing more
than a booty call, a friend with benefits, put plainly; Jeff wanted
nothing more than sex and Chiquita knew that from the start.” Jason
added.

To some, what was just expressed may
bring certain readers to cast Jeff in a bad light. In fact, a few
of you may even go as far as to say or to think that Jeff deserved
what he got, however, when you really think about it, Jeff was
doing nothing more than filling a primal, instinctual urge. An
urge, a desire that all of us at one time or another share, an
impulse, a yearning that all classes, all races experience, nothing
less, nothing more.

Furthermore, I will be honest and say
it now before we go too far into this book, that Jeff, though
flawless in the eyes of his mother was not a perfect Angel; he had
his faults just like everyone else in this world. We all have our
errors as no one, no matter how much we put ourselves on a
pedestal, no one is beyond error; we are all imperfect creatures,
dependent on our own needs, addictions, and desires. As for Jeff,
he liked using marijuana as his recreational drug of choice, though
this use of Marijuana may have been illegal, and he may have been
wrong in using it, he did not deserve what came to him in the
end.

So too, at that time Jeff was the
typical 20 something single male, who didn’t want to get into
another dramatic, long-term relationship. Who may have thought more
with the head between his legs than the one between his shoulders,
regardless of these faults; however, no one deserves death for such
small imperfections. Thus, though imperfect, he was a living,
breathing, thinking human being, able to feel not only his own pain
but the pain and joy of others as well, he was unique.

As such, knowing or rather thinking at
that time that it would be sex he would be having with his friend
with benefits, he wanted to try something of the “Chocolate
flavor,” and thus he met Chiquita on a local adult sex-dating site.
“Jeff’s first encounter with Chiquita went as expected, and things
seem to be going well for the first few times they met,” Jason
stated. “Shortly before Thanksgiving of that year, I think, Jeff
said that Chiquita was asking him for things, such as paying some
of her bills, and buying her stuff that wasn’t right for a friend
with benefits relationship,” he added. Sadly, it would be a few
weeks later that Jeff would come to realize Chiquita’s true
intentions. Intentions, which would lead him to the path of his own
demise.

CHAPTER 3:

JULY 19, 2010

Arrangements

Sipping her hazelnut coffee, she gazed
up at the gleaming rays of sunlight as they slowly slipped away
from the gloomy clouds above. “Mmm,” she sighed throatily,
swallowing her coffee, allowing the slight sugary tang; the
enticing, thick aroma and the enriched flavor to cast over her,
awaking her senses from the sleepy despair; the dismal nightmares
which were at the forefront of her mind falling back to random
thoughts.

Taking a deep breath, she allowed the
slight humid air to fill her lungs, heartening her with a minor
renewed energy before casting it out, exhaling it slowly, only to
again be remembered of the sadness that was to follow in the coming
hours, days, weeks--years. The pain and hatred, the tears, which
would rain down the faces of her and each of her sisters as they
fought to stay positive and supportive for their saddened sister,
fought to stay composed and strong for their fallen nephew, all the
while thinking of their own children.

Their minds racing through memories of
the past troubles, past moments of regret, feelings mixing with
shards of the past, the death that shadowed around them hovering
like a cloak of despair every time they thought of their parents.
Every time their memories of the past came to bear. Yet still, she
knew they would all try to stay positive, try and block out the
thoughts of dreaded loss each would feel if it were they in her
place, if it were them that had to go through the same trials of
death; despair of madness and regret.

Them who would have to pick out a
coffin for their own beloved child; to gaze down at the lifeless
body and remember every fleeting moment, every happy thought, every
smile upon their face.… remember the last time they told them they
loved them. The last time they heard those words of love upon their
child’s lips, never thinking for a moment--it would be the
last.

“
Just breathe… remember to
breathe,” Roxanne thought to herself as she prepared for the things
to come, things she did not want to do for one of her own sons or
daughters. The pain, the sadness and the chaotic thoughts that
seemed to be with her from the night before, the horrid visions,
the dreams she dreamt, just hours before. “Just breathe,” She said
to herself, tears streaming down the sides of her face as the
clouds above once again caught up with their morning prey, “just…
just breathe.”

The Posting Wars Part
2

“
It started with a few
simple condolences from strangers, people that only read what they
saw in the paper and the words of those few of us who knew the
truth. It started with words, just as all wars do…,”

Early in the afternoon Chiquita’s aunt
(who would eventually become a well-known figure in this matter)
got online and wrote something to address those of us who,
(apparently) didn’t know what “the hell” we were writing. What
follows is taken from what she said word for word as she wrote it,
(with some captioned thoughts of my own added to help you along)
you should take note, that some of it may not make sense, this is
taken from one of the main news message boards that allowed public
comments on their articles:

“
Hey u folks! This is
chiquita's aunt n Im really fed up with all the bull**** most of u
been sayn….u don't no her or us like that to be talkn s*** bout who
gon pay cuz for real tho. But chek this out nosy a** people u don't
no what happnd so shut the **** up. My neice aint no damn killa it
wuz an accident (NO IT WASN’T). She luvd jef n so did we. (was that
because he was paying your nieces and sisters household bills?)
Anyway, to jefs family n real frenz we hold u n our hearts n
prayers. Just n case u dont no who u r. (I know who I am) im not
talkn to the ones that claim to no she abused him but done nothn
(interesting since she had criminal charges on her from a previous
assault on Jeff from March of that year and Jeff had no priors)
They both fought with each other, but I guess u all wishn she wuz
gone rite. Thanx to those who r keepn an open mind on the
situation.”

This was followed by one of her
cousins, who added, (and again this is taken
word-for-word):

“
MAN ALL YALL DATS WANNA
CLAIM DEY THINK DEY KNO DA STORY YALL CAN CHILL CUZ REAL TALK YALL
GET GET IT DOE YALL DNT KNO WAT HAPPEN WIT DEM OR WAT THEY WAS GOIN
THROUGH SO CHILL WIT ALL DAT NEGATIVITY”

This was followed up by one of Jeff’s
friends or supporters who had to address the grammatical issues,
and use of improper and incomplete words, he stated: “The less that
you can phrase a sentence correctly and use proper grammar, the
less concentration that your point has. This isn't a text message,
it's a public topic. Keep that in mind. RIP, Jeff. Just too
sad.”