The No-cry Sleep Solution (2 page)
Read The No-cry Sleep Solution Online
Authors: Elizabeth Pantley
Coaching
our children and others in softball, with a heart as big as all the world. For the day when the opposing pitcher struggled on the mound and broke down in tears: How can I forget the scene as you emerged from the dugout with a box of tissue and draped your arm around her shoulder, encouraging her to finish the game?
Guiding
our children in their studies with the perfect balance of seriousness (those goal-setting meetings) and fun (helping with homework while eating popcorn and watching the Mariners play baseball).
Inviting
child after child into our home. And then, when your invitation includes the entire softball team to sleep over, staying up late so I can go to bed early.
Teaching
the importance of thoughtfulness, caring, and family by hugging Grama when she most needs a hug, surprising her when she most needs a surprise, and saying “thank you” for every deed great or small.
Revealing
to our children the secrets of a long and lasting marriage—trust, honesty, respect, and affection—so that they may emulate ours and grow up to cherish marriages of their own.
Understanding
that our baby’s bedtime ritual takes precedence over dinner parties; that a perfect French braid is as important as getting to the field on time; that breakfast out with Daddy on Sun-day morning is an essential ingredient to a happy childhood; and that a closed door to a teenager’s room sometimes represents a more earnest invitation than an open one.
Recognizing
that “Daddy” is your most significant title in life right now and maybe, just maybe, for always.
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Contents
Foreword by William Sears, M.D. xiii
Ten Steps to Helping Your Baby Sleep All Night
The Foremost Safety Worry: SIDS 29
General Sleeping Safety Precautions for
General Safety Precautions for Cradles
General Safety Precautions for Co-Sleeping 37
How Much Sleep Do Babies Need? 47
What About Nighttime Feedings? 49
What Are Realistic Expectations? 50
What Is the
Right
Way to Teach a Baby
ix
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x
Contents
Review and Choose Sleep Solutions 63
Part One: Solutions for Newborn Babies—
Part Two: Solutions for Older Babies—
Create Your Personal Sleep Plan 159
Follow Your Plan for Ten Days 169
What If You Can’t Do It All? 170
The Road to Success Is Really More
If Your Baby Is Now Sleeping Through the Night
(Five or More Consecutive Hours) 180
If You Have Seen
Some
Success 181
If You Haven’t Seen Any Positive Changes 182
Moving Forward with Your Sleep Plan 204
Follow Your Plan for Ten More Days 205
Every Baby Is Different; Every Family
How Long Is This Going to Take? 207
“I’ve Tried Everything! Nothing Works! Help!” 207
Contents
xi
Complete a Log, Analyze Your Success,
and Revise Your Plan as Necessary
Baby’s Sleeping (Finally!) but Mommy’s Not 225
How to Get a Good Night’s Sleep 227
Final Thoughts: Mom-to-Mom 239
Patience, Patience, and Just a Little More
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Foreword
Sleep—or more accurately, the
lack
of sleep—is one of the most challenging aspects of parenting during the first year or two of a baby’s life. The biggest hurdle is getting the baby to sleep through the night. Parents who are sensitive to their baby’s needs are reluctant to try any technique that requires that they let their baby cry, so they often struggle through a fog of sleeplessness. This
“nighttime-martyr parenting” often leads to frustration and resent-ment, resulting in unnecessary feelings of guilt and obscuring a family’s joy over the new arrival. At a time when new parents should be enjoying the process of getting to know their baby, this lack of sleep leaves parents doubting themselves.
I’ve always thought that it would be wonderful to have a menu of ideas that parents could try until they hit upon a magic anti-dote to help their baby sleep all night. Elizabeth Pantley has created just such a menu in
The No-Cry Sleep Solution
.
The beauty of this book is that parents can create their very own sleep plan based on their baby’s makeup as well as their own.
Parents can choose from a variety of sensible, sensitive solutions that respect both baby and parent, striking a balance between a baby’s nighttime requirements and the parents’ very real need for a full night’s sleep. The ideas are firmly rooted in the concept that the early years are the time to help your child develop a healthy sleep attitude—one that regards sleep as a pleasant, peaceful, necessary state that’s not to be feared.
You’ve most likely picked up this book because your baby is keeping you up all night. Your lack of sleep has probably affected your ability to function fully throughout the day. Elizabeth Pantley, an experienced mother of four, clearly understands where you sit today, having sat there herself on occasion. She’s created a book xiii
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xiv
Foreword
that is clear, easy to read, and uncomplicated. The steps are set up so that even the most sleep-deprived can understand and apply the solutions.
At long last, I’ve found a book that I can hand to weary parents with the confidence that they can learn to help their baby sleep through the night—without the baby crying it out.
—William Sears, M.D.
A Note from Author Elizabeth Pantley
Dr. Sears is my parenting hero. His books came to my aid when I was a nervous and inexperienced new mother fourteen years ago.
His wisdom and knowledge helped me learn what it really means to be a parent, and his gentle insight showed me how to do the job in the most loving and successful way. I am deeply honored that he finds my books so helpful to parents that he is willing to write the foreword for each one. My perception is that most parents know Dr. Sears—and those who don’t, should.
Dr. Sears is one of America’s most acclaimed and respected pediatricians, an associate clinical professor of pediatrics at the University of California School of Medicine. He is the pediatric and parenting expert for Parenting.com as well as his own website, AskDrSears.com. He and his wife, Martha Sears, R.N., are the parents of eight children and the grandparents of four. They appear frequently on national television, are extensively quoted in the media, and are the authors or collaborators of thirty parenting books, all of which I enthusiastically recommend. A partial list of Dr. Sears’s work includes
The Attachment Parenting Book
,
The Baby Book
,
The Successful Child
,
The Discipline Book
, and
Nighttime Parenting
.
Acknowledgments
Iam very grateful for the support of the many people who have made this book possible, and I would like to express my sincere appreciation to:
Judith McCarthy at McGraw-Hill/Contemporary Books—
thank you for your unwavering support and guidance.
Meredith Bernstein of Meredith Bernstein Literary Agency, New York—thank you for your high-energy enthusiasm and your ability to get things done.
Vanessa Sands—thank you for sharing your insight, talent, and friendship.
Pia Davis, Christine Galloway, and Kim Crowder—thank you for lending your experience as successful test mommies to the final material.
My test mommies: Alice, Alison, Amber, Andrea, Ann,
Annette, Becca, Becky, Bilquis, Carol, Caryn, Christine C., Christine Ga., Christine Gr., Cindy, Dana, Dayna, Deirdre, Diane, Elaine, Elvina, Emily, Gloria, Jenn, Jenny, Jessie, Jill, Julie, Kari, Kelly, Kim, Kristene, Lauren, Lesa B., Leesa H., Lisa Ab., Lisa As., Lisa G., Lorelie, Marsha, Melanie, Neela, Pam, Penny, Pia, Rene, Robin, Sandy, Shannon R., Shannon J., Sharon, Shay, Staci, Susan, Suzanne, Tammy, Tanya, Tina, Victoria, and Yelena—thank you for every comment and every question along the way. (Give all your babies a hug from me.)
Judy Arnall, Maribeth Doerr, Nancy Eggleston, Tammy Frissel-Deppe, Macall Gordon, Tricia Jalbert, Dr. James J. McKenna, Nancy Price, Richard Rubin, Michael Trout, and Gaye E. Ward—
thank you for your enthusiastic and encouraging support.
Dolores Feldman, my mom—thank you for being a blessing in my life, every day. I love you.
xv
Copyright 2002 by Better Beginnings, Inc. Click Here for Terms of Use.
This book is designed to provide parents and caregivers with a variety of ideas and suggestions. It is sold with the understanding that the publisher and the author are not rendering psy-chological, medical, or professional services. The author is not a doctor or psychologist, and the information in this book is the author’s opinion unless otherwise stated. This material is presented without any warranty or guarantee of any kind, express or implied, including but not limited to the implied warranties of mer-chantability or fitness for a particular purpose. It is not possible to cover every eventuality in any answer, and the reader should always consult a professional for individual needs. Readers should bring their baby to a doctor for regular well-baby checkups and talk to a medical professional about Sudden Infant Death Syndrome and learn how to reduce their particular baby’s risk. The U.S. Consumer Product Safety Commission does not recommend co-sleeping with an infant. Nevertheless, many parents do share sleep with their baby. The safety list and references to co-sleeping in this book are not intended to be construed as permission to use this parenting practice, but are provided as information for those parents who have researched this issue and have made a choice to co-sleep with their baby. This book is not a substitute for compe-tent professional health care or professional counseling.