The No-cry Sleep Solution (6 page)

Introduction

17

important way: when we first met they were all struggling with sleepless nights.

These mothers dutifully completed sleep logs every ten days and E-mailed me on a regular basis to keep me informed of their progress. They asked questions (boy, did they ask questions!), and as we worked through my sleep plan, they provided the information and feedback that helped me refine my ideas.

Proof! It Works!

At the start of our work together,
none
of the sixty mothers had babies who were sleeping through the night, according to the medical definition of the phrase, which is when a baby sleeps for a stretch of five or more hours without waking.

As the test mommies followed ideas in
The No-Cry Sleep
Solution
:

• By day ten, 42 percent of the babies were sleeping through the night.

• By day twenty, 53 percent were sleeping through the night.

• By day sixty, 92 percent were sleeping through the night.

Once these babies reached the five-hour milestone, they continued on with more sleep success, some achieving sleep stretches of nine to thirteen hours.

How Long Will It Take for Your

Baby to Sleep?

Please keep in mind that making this transformation takes time.

No crying, but no rushing either. I wish you
could
have results in

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The No-Cry Sleep Solution

one day—I certainly can’t promise that—but I can promise that things
will
improve as you follow the suggestions.

The irrefutable truth is that we cannot change a comfortable, loving-to-sleep (but waking-up-all-night) history to a go-to-sleep-and-stay-asleep-on-your-own routine without one of two things: crying or time. Personally, I choose time. And this means
patience
and might just represent your first opportunity to teach that particular virtue to your child.

Parents have asked for my help because their
five-year-old
is still waking up at night. Take heart, and keep things in perspective.

My new sleep plan will
not
take five years to produce the desired effect!

The Test Mommies’ Experiences

It really does help to know what other parents have experienced.

The following is what a few of the test mommies had to say.

Lisa, a mother of two girls, ages one and five—both with sleep problems—said in her first letter to me:

I co-slept with Jen, our five-year-old, until she was about a year old, at which time we tried to move her to her own bed. Since that time, she comes into our room EVERY night. Yes, every night for the past four years! Our baby Elizabeth . . . well, at age one she is still getting up three to five times a night. I feel extreme anxiety. During the night, I hear the minutes ticking away on the clock that sits on my nightstand, waiting for one or the other to call for me, and with each minute everything seems to intensify. I often just break down and cry.

As I sit here this morning with my coffee next to me, things don’t seem quite SO bleak, but I have to admit that I still feel like crying. I just can’t do this anymore. HELP.

Five weeks later I received this E-mail from her:

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19

I know it’s not time for another log for us, but I just had to tell you what’s been going on. Beth has been going to sleep at 8:30 and waking only ONCE! And getting up at 7:30! I can’t believe it!

Jennifer has also been in HER OWN ROOM *ALL* night for ten days in a row now! She’s so proud of herself, and I am so proud of her too!

IT’S WORKING! IT’S WORKING! IT’S WORKING!

Kim, the single mother of thirteen-month-old Mathieau had this to say when we first started to work on her baby’s sleep habits: Well, things aren’t going according to my plan at all. I tried to get him down at 7:30—I tried rocking him, nursing him, putting him in his crib, patting his back, rocking again, and nursing again, and he finally gave out at 8:45. I honestly don’t know what the problem was tonight. I just hope it won’t continue to be like this. I want so badly for this to work, I’m very frustrated.

Three weeks later, Kim had this to say:

Hi! I know I E-mailed you a couple of days ago about Mathieau sleeping through the night, but I just had to share this with you. Mathieau has slept through the night three—yes, count them, three—

nights in a row. Can you believe it? I actually feel like a functional mommy now. He let me sleep in this morning too. He woke around 6:30 this morning to nurse and went back to sleep until 9. I had so much energy today. And even more, the baby-sitter has finally been able to get him to nap, too! Today when I picked him up he was still asleep—he had been sleeping for almost two hours! I am so excited that your ideas are actually working for us. I never expected to see this kind of result so quickly. We have made some MAJOR progress, and we couldn’t have done it without your ideas. You are definitely on to something here and you are going to be changing many people’s lives.

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The No-Cry Sleep Solution

The mother of a three-month-old, Christine expressed these feelings when we first spoke:

Ryan’s night wakings are becoming very stressful on our family. My husband can no longer sleep in bed with us, so he has grudgingly moved to the guest room. I am petrified I won’t be able to function when I go back to work if I am going to continue to be up with him all night like this. I tried to let him cry it out, but it was a nightmare to see my normally happy, peaceful little baby crying so hard and sweating and looking so afraid and alone. I really hope you can help us.

Her log, just forty-five days later, says it all.

7:30 P.M. Asleep

6:00 A.M. Feed

7:30 A.M. Up for the day

Number of night wakings: 1 (improved from 10)

Longest sleep stretch: 101⁄2 blissful, wonderful hours (improved from 3) Total hours of nighttime sleep: 101⁄2

Emily, mother of twelve-month-old Alex, included this information in her first message to me:

Alex sleeps with his mouth on my breast and his body horizontally across mine. He sometimes will sleep next to me, but only until he wakes up again, which is sometimes only five minutes later, and then it is back on top of me.

Alex’s triumphant mother sent me this message after thirty days following the No-Cry Sleep Solution:

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21

This will be my final log now that my little Alex is sleeping wonderfully. He is asleep by 8:00 p.m., and then I set him in our bed while I usually get up and shower or clean up. (Of course, we have mesh guardrails and we watch him carefully.) Alex may wake up once during the night to nurse, but it only takes him seconds to fall back asleep.

I think he may wake up several other times during the night, but he doesn’t need my assistance to go back to sleep. He wakes around 7:30

a.m. feeling happy and refreshed.

I can’t believe this is the same baby as before. The difference in his sleep habits is truly amazing.

And this from Marsha, another mother of a chest-sleeping baby:

Last night Kailee went to bed at 8:30. She woke up a few times between 8 and 10 but quickly settled herself. I didn’t hear from her again until 8:00 a.m.! I am sure you understand that this is complete and total heaven. Kailee has gone from needing to sleep on my chest all night and waking up to nurse eight to ten times a night to sleeping 11–121⁄2 hours straight through. I never thought I would see the day when a baby of mine would sleep through the night. You are a hero in our house. I definitely wish you had been doing this study when my first daughter was a baby.

And remember the mother I quoted earlier who said, “I am truly distressed, as the lack of sleep is starting to affect all aspects of my life”? Two months after Leesa started following my plan, she wrote, “For the last week Kyra has been waking only ONCE, at 3:30 a.m., to nurse! Heeeheeeheeee! I’m darn near giddy on sleep!”

More quotes from the test mommies appear throughout this book in sections called Mother-Speak. Pictures of their sweet, sleeping babies are also sprinkled throughout this book.