Authors: Vivienne Harris-Scott
“
Indeed.
”
says, the doctor calmly as Ethan eyes
shoot open,
“…
and
now she is pregnant, and hasn
’
t
said anything to you. So, the question is, what do you plan to do? Obviously, a
discussion is in order. She will not be able to hide it ad vitam aeternam.
Besides, this might be the perfect opportunity to tell her you have taken steps
to change, maybe
,
to tell her you are
seeing me and indeed are trying whatever it takes to save your marriage
… ”
Ethan
’
s shoulders slump at the suggestion and he
replies,
“
I
want to talk to her but I am afraid. It is ridiculous when you think about it;
after all, I threatened her
,
but I am
afraid. She hasn
’
t
left me yet, and things are
…
well,
they just are
…
but
a discussion could turn into a confrontation and she could walk out on me
…
and I don
’
t think I can bear it.
”
“
Ethan, you are who you are, so I won
’
t insult your intelligence or treat you like
a fragile man who doesn
’
t
have a clue about what
’
s
happening in his life. You do know and you have the tools to, maybe not fix
things, but at least change them one way or the other. It is truly up to you
when or how you want to be in control of our own life. My door is open and I
will see you for years if necessary to help you deal with your issues, but the
current situation doesn
’
t
allow for procrastination.
”
He sees his patient wince, but presses on,
“
You do not have years to deal with this
particular set of circumstances. A few months, at best. And I strongly believe
the sooner you speak to your wife about this pregnancy, the better for you and
her. I
’
m
not forcing you to do it, but seeing your current state, it is clear, it needs
to be done. For your own sake, your mental health depends on it, and as I said,
maybe if you tell her how you feel about this baby, just maybe this will be the
beginning of a new Chapter in
…”
“
Or the end of my marriage altogether,
”
Ethan cuts in, standing up once more.
“
Or the end of your marriage,
”
the therapist confirms, yet adds,
“
But either way, you
’
ll know where you both stand Ethan. And,
that is primordial if you want me to help you. You raped her nearly two months
ago and have seen me for six weeks. You seem to think there is hope for your
marriage
…
Actually, you are convinced of it
…”
He sighs,
“
That
it isn
’
t
over in spite of what happened and yet, you haven
’
t spoken to her about that night and how
you feel
…
You haven
’
t
asked her how she feels. You haven
’
t
apologized. And yes, I remember you told me she refuses to even evoke the topic
of what happened that night. But now, she is pregnant and I think deep down,
you know the longer you ignore the elephant in the room, the harder it will be
to
,
in fact
,
control the outcome
…”
Dr Michaellson ends with a hand gesture signifying he
’
s done talking.
“
What if she leaves?
”
says Ethan, more a statement than a
question.
“
We deal with it Ethan. We deal with it.
”
responds the doctor
, stopping his recorder, signalling the end of their session.
((~~!~~))
Session 10.
“
I realized I am truly afraid, if I can
’
t make her happy again, I
’
ll lose her, which is the worst part,
giving me cold sweats at night.
”
Ethan sighs.
“
That
’
s a good reason to be afraid,
”
replies the doctor
“
The idea of life without her is not only
unbearable, but also unimaginable. Being with her, she makes the person I want
to be emerge, instead of the person I am.
”
“
Does she know she has such power over you?
”
“
It
’
s not power doctor. I just want, no,
…
I need to be a better man around her. And,
no, I haven
’
t
told her. Not lately anyway. How could I?
”
“
What
’
s stopping you?
”
asks the therapist, letting the first
statement slide.
“
Look, I don
’
t want to lose her. I
’
m seeing you for that purpose. She is
hurt, and angry. I
’
m
giving her space, rightly so, and I can
’
t just blurt out
…
I have to be very careful
…”
Ethan sighs, and pursues,
“
She
’
s accepted to come the ball with me and I
have to believe this step will lead to a better place for us. This is going to
be her first public appearance since
…”
“
Since the
…
your anniversary?
”
the doctor says, writing on a notepad.
“
Yes,
”
Ethan mumbles looking down the carpet
“
Well, I truly wish you are right Ethan.
Let
’
s
hope that evening doesn
’
t
end up anywhere close to the last time
…”
the doctor says sternly.
“
Never. I will never hurt again.
”
Ethan swears, getting agitated.
“
Never is a long time Ethan. Let
’
s just see how you both go through this
night.
”
Dr Michaellson concludes, stopping the recorder.
((~~!~~))
Session 11.
“
I threatened her, I panicked,
”
Ethan stammers with a shaky voice, taking
a seat and lowering his gaze, unable to meet the doctor
’
s eyes. He feels ashamed.
He
arrived ten minutes earlier for an emergency session at 7:15 a.m. and has been
pacing furiously in the therapist
’
s
office without a word until he abruptly sat, finally admitting what he
’
s done.
“
Your wife is pregnant and you threatened
her?
”
the doctor repeats, stunned.
“
I found out by accident
…
you know that. And then
…
she was actually going to leave
…
Instinctively, I had no choice
…”
Ethan says, unsteadily, the argument
sounding false even to his own ears.
He
breathes heavily.
“
Last night was horrible
…
I threatened her and the baby
…
Oh God
,
I am a monster
…”
Ethan keeps repeating the sentence over and over
,
almost as if he doesn
’
t
believe it actually happened.
Dr
Michaellson pours water in two glasses for both of them, and for an instant, it
is the only sound in the room.
“
Ethan, can you tell me how this came
about? I
’
m
not here to judge, but your reaction seems disproportionate to say the least
…”
the therapist says, handing him a glass,
and thinking this session will give him the breakthrough he needs to finally
understand this more complex than most patient.
So,
Ethan starts to tell.
How
last night, instead of enjoying the Premier
’
s ball, he went home and threatened his
wife and his future child of bodily harm.
“
She was leaving me
…
I-I
…
I can
’
t breathe
…”
his voice cracks, right after he
’
s described how he was waiting for his
wife in the dark as she was preparing to leave their house, their life, him.
As
he is unfastening his tie, the doctor watches him carefully, and for the first
time
,
Dr Michaellson is convinced of the
depths of his patient
’
s
love for his wife; no one can simulate that kind of utter despair.
From
the beginning
,
he pegged Ethan as a man
needing control over events and people, but he now sees, clear as day, a man
who simply is madly in love with his wife; a man who is devastated and scared
by her impending departure. And that makes this case even more complex than he
initially thought. Ethan
’
s
public persona is almost the opposite of the man in front of him.
A
dishevelled man whose wife is leaving. A state of affairs that quite clearly
seemed to have pushed him into a corner...and over the edge.
“
Do you need me to open the windows? Or do
you want go to the terrace for a few minutes to get some air?
”
asks the therapist concerned by the
distinct pallor and the shallow breathing his distraught patient is
manifesting.