Authors: Vivienne Harris-Scott
I
whisper,
“
I
know,
”
feeling my heart constrict in my chest.
She
clears her throat, sips her wine, and asks,
”
Speaking of father of your child, have you
spoken to Julian since Dubai?
”
“
No.
”
I reply, recalling the last time I
actually saw him.
“
Well, there
’
s no time like the present! Let
’
s call him to inform him you are coming
over to LA tomorrow!
”
she says enthusiastically, pulling the kitchen phone headset from its cradle,
and handing it to me.
((~~!~~))
Just as I am about to hang up after 7
longs rings, he picks up.
“
Hello?
”
his voice says, icily.
I
am a bit taken aback by his tone, but I respond,
“
Hello, Julian.
”
“
Vi?
”
he asks, his intonation is telling me he
’
s incredulous, and I can hear a voice
behind him saying my name. I am confused, so I repeat,
“
Julian?
”
“
Yes,
”
he replies, steady.
“
I
’
ll be flying to LA to see you tomorrow,
I-I have something to tell you
…”
I start, trying to be as concise as possible.
He
remains silent.
Puzzled,
I ask,
“
Julian?
”
He
finally says,
“
I
’
m not in LA, and I can
’
t be there tomorrow.
”
It
’
s my turn to be silent for a moment, and
then I ask,
“
Where
are you?
”
He
clears his throat and states in a hollow voice,
“
I
’
m in Australia. In Sydney.
”
I
look at Lily, as I can feel my hand starting to shake, and breathe,
“
You
’
re in Australia?
”
“
Yes. I arrived yesterday and I
’
ll be here for a few more days. I have
some things to sort out.
”
he explains. His voice is cold, void of emotions, and it disturbs me.
I
look at Lily, feeling myself pale.
Lily
is now holding my hand tightly as I ask,
“
Things to sort out? W-what
…”
but he doesn
’
t let me finish, and chimes nonchalantly,
“
Vi. I
’
m with Ethan. Your husband, you remember
him, don
’
t
you?
“
The
first tear drops.
I
can
’
t
find my voice, and Julian is still on the line, waiting.
“
I divorced Ethan 3 years ago...
”
I whisper, it
’
s
the only thing I can think of saying.
“
Well, apparently you forgot to inform him
of this crucial piece of information it seems
…”
his voice trails, even colder, he adds,
“
You appear to have a very selective view
of what the men in your life need to be privy of
…”
Tears
are now silently falling on my cheeks, Lily is getting upset and is trying to
pry the phone out of my hand, when I hear a voice I haven
’
t heard in over five years, say,
“
Baby?
”
he asks.
It
is Ethan, without a doubt.
I
croak,
“
E.?
”
He
clears his throat, and I can tell he is as uncomfortable as I am.
“
How are you?
”
he asks, softly.
“
I-I am o-ok,
”
the lump in my throat is preventing
me from speaking clearly.
“
E. I- I can
’
t
…”
I stammer, choking on my words.
This
is the moment Lily finally grabs the phone, and says,
”
Ethan? It
’
s Lily. Listen, she is extremely upset,
she can
’
t
do this now. We
’
ll
have to call
…”
she listens for a moment, and grunts,
“
Fine, when she is ready.
”
and hangs up the phone.
She
puts it down, looks at me, and pulls me in her arms where I completely collapse
as sobs wrench my entire body.
((~~!~~))
I wake up, and it
’
s dark. For a second, I don
’
t recall where I am. All I know is, my
head hurts, my body hurts.
Then,
I remember, I
’
m
at Lily
’
s,
in Boston. I flick the bedside table lamp on. I am alone in her guest room.
The
alarm clock shows 3:10 a.m. I get up. I need water. As I walk towards the
kitchen, I realize what happened here just a few hours ago.
The
light is on, I can hear her voice, and she is not happy by the sound of it.
As
I walk in, she stops mid-sentence, acknowledging my presence, and abruptly
says,
“
We
will talk about this later. I have to go. Goodbye.
”
She
doesn
’
t
say anything to me and pours herself a glass of wine. I see she is now drinking
red; a nearly empty bottle is next to her glass.
I
grab a bottle of Evian from the fridge, sit in front of her across the island,
and give her an expectant look as I open my water.
She
is still silent, watching me intensely.
I
start to have a really bad feeling at the pit of my stomach and ask lowly,
“
Who were you on the phone with?
”
“
Ethan.
”
she replies, and then takes a full swig
off her glass.
((~~!~~))
Lily and I stayed up until 6:00 am, at
which time she called the hospital informing them, she was ill, and taking the
day off.
She
has gone to bed to rest, after the sleepless night.
I
can
’
t.
I
am thinking about what she said, about what E. said to her, and I am feeling
restless. She
’
s
given me the pros and cons of her opinions, but this is as far as she can go.
My future, and the men in it, is up to me.
I
am alone and restless.
I
see the valid points she has made, and truth be told, I
’
ve always known deep down I wasn
’
t really running away from E. but from
myself. Ethan, his outrage and public threats were just the excuses I used to
rationalize my behaviour. I know I am responsible for his ruined career, but I
never really believed he would hurt me if he found out. Any other man, maybe,
would be out for blood and would certainly ensure I got retribution for what I
have done, just not him. Not with the history we share. Ethan is a lot of
things; a violent man isn
’
t
one of them, he knows plenty who can do this kind of damage, he wouldn
’
t do it himself, and certainly not to me,
I don
’
t
think; never really did, but one never knows. After all, better safe than
sorry.
And
there is the matter of Luca.
Even
more so than his career, killing his beloved son would be the only motive for
revenge Ethan would ever need. And from what he told Lily, - actually didn
’
t tell her, since he hasn
’
t even told her what I
’
ve done; Luca wasn
’
t even mentioned by name in the
conversation-, he
’
s
not looking for me to exert vengeance. Apparently, he told her he has things to
tell me about our son, things that will bring us both closure. He somehow
convinced Lily that what he has to say will rock my world, and she believes
him. I am astounded, because Lily is no Ethan
’
s fan, but she actually said I should go
to him. While he hasn
’
t
revealed her the why, he asked her if she believed he was truthful about the
rest of their conversation, and if she did, out of love for me, then she should
tell me what they discussed.
Now,
she has.
What
he said to Lily confirms it. In fact, what he told Lily is like a deflagration.
That thing with Anna is forcing me to re-evaluate everything, especially the
person I have become. A shell of my former self.
And
then of course, there is Luca and how his death changed me forever.
When
she had put me to bed after the tears subsided, Lily had gone back to the
kitchen to clean up the remains of our meal. She hadn
’
t even touched the forest cake, her
appetite disappearing as my distress appeared.
She
had been reading on some patients
’
files when her phone had started to ring, she had let the machine pick up. It
was Ethan. He had left two lengthy messages in a row filling up her voicemail,
explaining he wanted and needed to speak to me and he would keep on calling
until I would respond, warning Lily she wouldn
’
t be able to shield me forever. In the
last message, he had indicated that unless we spoke, Julian and himself would
be flying back to Boston the very next day.