Authors: Vivienne Harris-Scott
CHAPTER 34
Julian
This is not the evening he had planned.
When
she had opened her door, He had taken in the full sight of her, and
damn!
She looked even better than he remembered! A beige silk blouse holding her
mounds tight, and black Jodhpur pants held in knee high boots made her look sexy
as hell
.
The
woman was beautiful, not only in his memory but in the flesh.
Her
long curls cascading around her face, the fiery look she gave him, and
these
lips
…
All he could think was kissing her, even when the door slammed shut in his
face.
He
had wondered if time apart from her would dull the attraction, sometimes even
wishing it, he missed her so much; but that obviously was not to be the case.
When
he touched her skin, he felt himself go stir crazy with pure physical need; her
scent, the taste of her
…
Oh
God
... Fuck everything else, he belonged right there,
with this woman. He was home.
If
he still had doubts about the intensity of his feelings or hadn't been so sure
of hers before, hoping that, maybe,
just maybe
, he could simply satisfy
this lust he felt for her and finally regain some control over the situation;
the previous hour shattered them once and for all.
One
look, followed by a simple touch and it had been an explosion, an utter
clashing of bodies and tension and raw carnal need bursting from each of them,
until their innards could take no more. He would have fucked her on the
bathroom sink.
If she had let him.
Their
kisses had left him weak. The woman radiated raw heat.
He
wanted more. Correction. Needed more.
He
now knew with certainty she felt exactly the same.
There
was no more pretence between them.
When
he had asked her what was stopping her, why she was leaving, he had hated the
sound of his own voice; it made it seem like he was begging. In a way, he was.
He
needed
to have her, to be inside her.
Right
there and then.
But,
she had stated her name, and, pouf! She was gone. Again.
((~~!~~))
As he had watched Vi
’
s retreating form leave the room, Julian
couldn
’
t
move, and could barely breathe. His chest felt tight,
so damn tight
. He
was sure it would explode, any minute now.
Fists
clenched, he was certain that if someone walked in and said the wrong thing to
him, he might hit them and not stop. He was angry, frustrated, and scared;
three emotions that were practically foreign to him in his 40 odds years. He
knew the emotions. He had experienced them all at one time or another, usually
years apart; except, well, except in the past six weeks, the three emotions had
ganged up on him and made a point of constantly simmer under the surface each
time his thoughts involved one particular person.
Her.
He
clinched a fist as his chest tightened once more. This couldn't be happening.
This really could not be happening. Reaching up, he began to unfasten his
shirt; it felt like the damn thing was going to choke him.
First,
she disappeared, then the bloody recording, now this? This woman was going to
be the death of him. His heart had never been pulled in all directions but
since the first minute, he had laid sight on her.
She
was his undoing. Every time he thought he had the situation under control, she
invented new ways to unnerve him. She was under his skin like no one else had
ever been before.
This
was bad, dangerous even. It had to stop.
He
didn
’
t
follow her because he needed to calm down and think. He was so angry, he wasn
’
t sure he wouldn
’
t strangle her if he had gone after her.
He was truly seeing red.
Vi's
words where playing like a broken record in his head.
I
’
m
Victoryn McGregor
…
Vi
was Ethan
’
s
wife. Or, was it ex-wife? He thought, hopeful for a few seconds, trying to
recall if he read about their divorce somewhere, or if someone mentioned it to
him. Nothing came to mind and he felt immediate shame and guilt just thinking
and hoping for it. Because, last he heard, Ethan
’
s wife was at death
’
s door and he vividly recalled the state
Ethan
’
s
had been in.
Now,
clearly, she was alive, kicking
,
and ruining his life!
So,
they were still married? What the hell ever happened to propel her into his
life? Into his bed?! Fuck!
Julian
couldn
’
t
reconcile the idea that the woman who had just left this very room was his
friend
’
s
wife, the very same woman he had seen Ethan actually cry over.
He
tried to remember the bits and pieces of the scandal surrounding Ethan
’
s resignation, but only mere details came
to his troubled mind, his memory refusing to cooperate in light of the chaos
tormenting his heart.
He
would need to find out more before doing anything else.
He
hadn
’
t
spoken to Ethan since he came to the airport to wish him farewell after the
Belinda episode; and he was so engrossed in his own turmoil, that Ethan
’
s life falling apart a few months later
never really made it to his radar. He should have paid more attention.
Indubitably.
So,
this was the secret she had been hiding? This was why she was so guarded? Why
she was so scared? He needed to have a conversation with James. There was more
to this and that son of a bitch knew all along.
Julian
was mad at her. Didn
’
t
she trust him at all?
How
could she let me hang myself knowing Ethan and I are friends? Why would she be
so cruel? What kind of sick game was this? I obviously underestimated her. She
had played him all along. Belinda was an amateur compared to her. Fuck!
Yet,
he was also angry with himself.
You
did know her name, why didn
’
t
it click before? It was right in front of you! But, for reasons unknown, you
were oblivious! You let yourself fall in love
…
This
is on you, not her.
Ethan
’
s wife! Fuck! What were the odds that he
would fall in love with his friend
’
s
wife?
Bloody hell!
Never
mind they were on opposite sides of the globe, or that they hadn
’
t spoken in years. He
’
d known Ethan his entire life and yet
never saw a picture of his wife! Fuck! What a mess!
And,
this was only the beginning. If Ethan ever found out, all kinds of hell would
break loose, because as they stood, they might not have seen each other in
years, but they still had history and they were still brothers from different
mothers, when push came to shove.
There
would be no justification for such a betrayal.
Ethan
had been there for him, more times than he cared to count or admit, and Julian
was a man of honour when the people he cared about were concerned. He could tally
on the fingers of a hand who his real friends were in this world, and Ethan was
one of them. He would never hurt him if he could avoid it.
Sleeping
with his wife was simply a no-go, much less being madly enamoured with her.
Especially when he had seen first-hand how Ethan felt about her.
What
the fuck had happened? How was it even possible that the two of them could be
in love and involved with the same woman?
Please
let it be a sick joke
, he thought as he heard her voice playing
in his head again.
Would
he let her go? Could he, even?
He
wouldn
’
t
have a choice.
Then,
a final thought dawned on him and hit like a brick: what happened to their son?
Julian
April 2004. Darling Harbour. Sydney.
Australia.
“
Are you ready?
”
Todd asked, looking at him, his eyes
fierce, ready to do battle.
“
As I
’
ll ever be.
”
I replied, determined.
I
sat down next to my counsel in the courtroom.
Truth
is, I was nervous. After all, something might go wrong, but I shook the idea away,
and repeated convincingly,
“
I
am ready. Let
’
s
get that bitch out, once and for all.
”
It
took all but 27 minutes; I was officially divorced, and Belinda was out of my
life.
Maddie
was mine.
Ethan
had delivered on his promise.
I
wanted to thank him. Personally.
((~~!~~))
Julian
and Ethan
This was their first meeting that hadn
’
t been a coincidence. Julian had called,
asking to meet him this time.
He
had learned from his mother that Ethan had been at the estate to visit her a
few days prior, but he had missed him.
A
proper thank you was in order.
The
two men were sitting at
Jordons
, dining al fresco,
taking in the harbour
’
s
views.
They
were without a doubt the most powerful guests in the restaurant that evening. The
Premier of NSW and the international movie star. Two of Sydney
’
s finest sons. One dark haired man, the
other blonde; both spotting impeccable suits and mesmerizing blue eyes.
The
waitresses were fanning themselves; the maître d
’
h and the sommelier were thanking their
fortune for working that Tuesday night, as hefty covers would surely be left.
The
two men had asked for privacy and seemed engrossed in an intense and animated
conversation.
((~~!~~))
“
How
are you, really?
”
Julian asked, holding
his gaze.
The
question unnerved Ethan. No one ever asked him how he was.
“
As well, as I can be.
”
he replied coolly, and took a sip of his
wine.
“
Is there anything I can do for you?
”
Julian insisted.
“
No, Julian, there
’
s nothing. It
’
s all in the hands of doctors and the old
man at this point
…”
Ethan
’
s
eyes pointed at the sky, as he heavily sighed.
Julian
had invited Ethan to meet him the very same evening at the restaurant, just a
week after the hearing; he told Ethan, all had gone according to plan, and he
wanted to thank him. Ethan had refused at first, claiming he had other
commitments, and was busy, but Julian had insisted, and eventually, Ethan had
relented and agreed to meet him.
Julian
had been there early, so he saw Ethan arrive, and examined him with piercing
eyes, since he hadn
’
t
seen him since their fortuitous last meeting at church, over a month ago.
The
first thing he noticed was that Ethan looked tired. Not physically, because his
friend still had it all together in his impeccable suit, tanned face and tamed
locks, but his face held a slight expression of fatigue that was barely
noticeable if you weren
’
t
paying attention, and his eyes clearly denoted some sort of internal struggle.
Most people wouldn
’
t
see it; but Julian did. He had known Ethan too long, and as he purposefully
watched, he felt the smile his friend was spotting towards the maître d
’
h must have taken all the effort he had
left in him for that evening.
When
he sat at the table, Julian tried to engage him in a light conversation, but
after a few minutes of Ethan answering distractingly to his queries, it was
clear he was preoccupied, and his mind was simply not responding to Julian
’
s babble.
Finally,
Julian asked him how he was, and when Ethan replied,
“
I
’
m fine,
”
actually looking at Julian straight in
the eyes for the first time of the evening, it was clear as day that he was
anything but.
After
a silent pause, the two men glared at each other. Julian was the first to break
and repeating his question more forcefully, in a tone that bore no nonsense, he
kept staring at his friend waiting for the real answer.
Ethan
’
s shoulders slumped, and he finally
admitted that he was as well as he could.
“
Talk to me E. Is this about your wife? Is
she still hospitalised?
”
he hesitantly asked. He
remembered how worried his friend had been and knew this was a very delicate
subject.
“
No, she
’
s been released, a few weeks ago.
”
Ethan softly volunteered.
Yet,
Julian could see, something was wrong. In a low voice, he asked,
“
Did she
…
D-did she lose the baby?
”
Ethan
shook his head and replied in a hollow voice,
“
No, the baby is still there, but I don
’
t know for how long
…”
he started fidgeting with his cutlery and
added in a whisper.
“
They
found a tumor. It
’
s
cancer. It hasn
’
t
spread, but if it does
…”
his voice trailed off shakily as he finally looked up from the tablecloth and
met friend
’
s
gaze.
There
was a telling pause between them.
Julian
knew better than say he was sorry or offer solicitous help or advice that Ethan
hadn
’
t
asked for.
They
were still very much in accord in that regard. Two very private men, keeping
their emotions close to the chest, only sharing when they had to and there were
absolutely no other choice.
They
ate the first course in silence, until Ethan said,
“
I am glad you have your daughter.
”
“
There
’
s nothing I wouldn
’
t do for her. She is the most important
person in my life
…”
Julian replied, smiling.
“
You
’
ll get to experience it E. The minute your
child is born, everything changes
…
It
’
s magi-
”
he added, noticing Ethan was staring at
him, drinking his words.
Julian
stopped when he saw his friend was no longer listening and was fixated on
something else.
Ethan had turned his head and was looking down the
harbour, silent and unmoving, as if deeply in thought.
“
You know
…
it won
’
t even make much sense to you, but I
’
ve done terrible things
…
Much worse things than one can imagine
coming from me.
”
he said in a constricted voice.
Julian, albeit the surprise at his friend
’
s sudden gloomy tone, nodded, encouraging.
”
No
one knows. Only she does
…
my
wife. You know what I mean? Nobody knows
…”
Ethan bit his lip, but forced the words
out.
“
I
haven
’
t
been forced to face the shamefulness of it all. Except, when she looks at me, it
goes straight to my soul. Every time. I try not to
…”
He didn
’
t finish, but tilted his head to look back
at Julian, before saying,
“
I
love her. She means everything to me. I need her. The thought of losing her
…”
Ethan
shook his head, willing the thought away.
”
I nearly lost her, and even begged her to
terminate the pregnancy because I chose her, but she refused. And now, I
’
m trying very hard not to think of the
worst
…”
He
cleared his cotton-filled throat.
”
I just need to keep it together for her
and the baby. I can
’
t
fall apart, regardless of my own fears
…”
He
coughed, and slightly readjusted the neck of his tie, had a sip of water, and
in a steadier voice said,
“
I
’
m fine. You are right. I will get to
experience the joys of fatherhood in a few months. Everything will be well.
”
Julian
was stumped. He felt his connection with Ethan had never been stronger. They
had both been in situations where they had done the unfathomable and couldn
’
t voice it to anyone but one another. He
knew no understanding words would ease Ethan
’
s pain, so he didn
’
t probe into what exactly Ethan had done
to make him feel such anguish. This was the second time in so many months that
they both were going through traumatic events affecting them to the core, and
while Ethan had helped him solve his main problem, he didn
’
t know how to help him, so he said the
only thing he could: