Authors: Vivienne Harris-Scott
“
I
’
m here for you. Whatever you need E., just
let me know. I mean it.
”
((~~!~~))
Lily
“
Lily?
It
’
s
Ethan
…”
says the last person on
the planet I thought would ever call me.
“
What
’
s wrong with Vi?
”
I ask, alarmed.
I
mean, Ethan is fully aware, Kevin and I know what he did to her; so, for him to
call, she must be a death
’
s
door.
“
She
’
s been released from the hospital
…
I don
’
t know if Kevin told you
…”
he starts.
I
interrupt,
“
Yes,
he told me she
’
s
been admitted, but I still don
’
t
know why. Besides, she
’
s
not the one calling me
…”
I
hear him sigh. I know he
’
s
not used to people being short with him.
“
She asked me to ring you. I know you hate
me with reasons
…
but I am still her husband, so
…
-
”
“
Ethan, just tell me what
’
s wrong!
“
I cut impatiently, not interested in any
of his justifications.
He
pauses for an instant, and then announces in one spur,
“
She
’
s got a tumor, it
’
s cancerous
…
she won
’
t let the doctors touch her, and she wants
to go full term
…”
”
I tried to reason with her, but she is
adamant. She wants you to come over if you can, and see what can be done. She
doesn
’
t
trust anyone
’
s
medical opinion here, and I
…”
his voice cracks.
I
can hear his breath getting rattled and it troubles me to admit to myself he
sounds genuinely concerned for his wife.
“
All right, I
’
ll be flying in by the end of the week.
Tell her that.
“
I announce, trying to reassure him.
“
Ethan? Don
’
t freak out on her, she doesn
’
t need it. I
’
ve got this.
”
I advise at last. I hope that I will
indeed see her through this.
I
arrive the first week of April 2004. Vi is about 10 weeks pregnant, and back at
home. She is smiling when Ethan brings me to her room. We haven
’
t seen each other since her wedding, a
little over 3 years. Say what you want, but phone calls
aren
’
t
the same as seeing one person in
visu
.
((~~!~~))
When I walked into her bedroom, she was
resting in Kevin
’
s
arms, her head nuzzled against his neck, a book opened on his laps, and I could
observe her to my heart
’
s
content. She hadn
’
t
changed much. She still had her beautiful face, but hers eyes held a deep
sadness that had never been there before, and new dark circles that seemed to
have been there for a while; I could see she had lost a bit of weight. She
smiled at me, while I sat on the end of the bed facing them. I had déjà-vu,
like old times, all of us against the world. The three musketeers.
”
Mami, baby, how are you?
”
“
I am well, you
’
re here. What else could I ask for?
”
she smiled at me.
“
A baby?
”
I said sheepishly, trying to keep any
edge out of my voice. I knew how scared she was.
“
Yes, a healthy baby. I want this more than
anything
…
Do
you think I will be able to?
”
her voice held all her hopes and fears at the same time. Her eyes were fixated
on me
I
clasped my hands over one of her knees and replied,
“
Well, Your husband is telling me you
’
re ready to die trying
…”
Kevin
shifted, uncomfortable, looking at me. I could see anger in his eyes. He got up
to greet me, and while he held me, kissing my cheek, he whispered in my ear,
“
We need to talk.
“
I nodded releasing him, still watching
her. She wasn
’
t
duped and seemed to know exactly what Kevin was up to.
“
Please. Whatever he tells you, just
remember this is my body, my baby, your future godchild we are talking about...
”
her voice trailed away, looking at him
sternly.
“
Children, children! Please make up. I
’
m here and we will sort this out, so you
both get what you want!
”
I smirked at them both.
Kevin
erupted in laughter.
She
smiled broadly, and I continued,
“
That
’
s better
…
you two are so pig headed sometimes, it
’
s exhausting to keep the peace
…”
I
held both their hands and looked at her,
“
Alright talk to me, I
’
ve heard Ethan
’
s version and saw the medical charts, now,
tell me how you want to do this, and I
’
ll see what I can do so I will get to meet
my god child!
”
I said brightly.
She
held my stare for a while and said calmly,
“
I
’
ll do whatever is necessary Lil, but I
will have this child, even if it kills me.
”
((~~!~~))
The four of us were laying out a full
pregnancy plan at the dinner table the next evening. Ethan had gotten over his
discomfort and the awkwardness of having his wife next 6 months daily life
discussed other than in her physician
’
s office. When I had spoken to him
privately a few moments earlier and asked him if he would be okay with
whichever course of treatment I chose in order to get Vi have their child, but
also make her disease free, he had agreed immediately, actually surprising me
by the force of his intent.
He
had looked at me intensely, eyes glowing, and replied steady and determined,
“
Anything. I
’
ll do anything Lily. Whatever she needs,
whatever you want. If I have to fly over specialists, I will. Just tell me what
to do, and consider it done. Whatever it takes.
”
Future
events would show, he was true to his words.
But,
so was Vi. She would do anything I asked of her. This was one of the hardest pregnancies
I would have to monitor. At 10 weeks, the tumor had settled at 1/3 of her
uterus while the foetus took the rest.
I
agreed with the surgeons who had treated her at the hospital: surgery at this
point would be too dangerous for her and of course guarantee the death of the
foetus. However, unlike them, I believed, she could have this baby. Treating
the cancer without a termination would require some protocol
maneuvering
; yet, I didn
’
t mind if in the end, there was a baby. I
knew, as weeks would go by, the proportions in her uterus would be reversed if
something wasn
’
t
done to prevent it, and eventually, either the foetus naturally would die due
to an inability to grow, or need to be expelled electively prematurely, neither
scenarios were satisfying.
The
good news was the tumor was in its own bubble, contained; and thus far, none of
the scans and biopsies showed it would expend anywhere but there. Believe it or
not, that was excellent news. Well, except for the adjacent foetus who
’
d have to share the uterus
’
space until one of the two caved in.
My
girl had two
sacs
contained in a third. Each of them
expending at their own rhythm.
I
was praying for the optimistic scenario, meaning the cancer wouldn
’
t spread elsewhere in her body.
I
just needed that tumor to stay in its bubble, until I could cut it out.
If
the bubble broke, her blood would get infected and cancer cells would be
everywhere. And, the foetus? Well, the foetus wouldn
’
t make it. I could not think of the
consequences of that hypothetical.
The
fact that Vi
’
s
body didn
’
t
absorb iron was another issue that made it worse. She would require daily
injections to prevent further damage and give her strength to go through this
pregnancy and the adjacent treatments, or her body simply would not cope. I was
already concocting a mixture of other essentials hormones and vitamins to be
added to the iron. After all, if she was going to put a needle in herself every
day, she might as well get the most of it, wasn
’
t she?
Surgery
would be required at least once, if not twice before that baby was delivered.
It was the only way to ensure there would be a born baby. The tumor would be
scanned weekly, and hopefully stabilized, before being completely removed
through surgery or at least partially cut out. That was my promise to her. I
would fly back and would do the surgery myself.