Authors: Vivienne Harris-Scott
It
was the simple knowledge that she had been suffering for years, because of him.
He was the one who introduced Anna into their lives; never imagining his short
affair with her would lead her to destroying his marriage and his career. That,
and of course what happened with Luca, his wife had been suffering for years,
and he could and would fix it all.
If
Vic came home, he would fight for her, for them. It would be hard, terrifying
even, the possibility of failure ever existent since so much time had passed
and according to Lily, she simply
wasn
’
t
the same woman; but if she decided to be with Julian, he would accept it
because he still loved her, and this was breaking his heart.
Yes,
never mind his heart, he wants her happy.
Off
across the left aisle, he sees a priest he knows disappear into a confessional.
Ethan never offers confessions. He comes to pray, not to confess.
Leaving
the church, he spots Julian, in the back, leaning against a pillar.
They
look at each other in silence, until the man finally says,
“
I guess, I know you too well.
”
Ethan
feels incredible rage as he responds,
“
Just make her happy,
”
He sighs, and completes his sentence
with,
“
Because
as God is my witness, I will kill you if you don
’
t.
”
and he walks out of the church.
Alone.
CHAPTER 71
Vi
I pick up the phone, praying I will remain
steady when I hear his voice. I have been sitting in Lily
’
s lounge for hours now, and finally
reached a decision about how to deal with the men in my life. Well Julian
really, because Ethan is not in my life.
He
’
s
a part of you, but he
’
s
not in your life. Yeah, keep telling yourself that,
my
inner voice laughs
.
I
know what Lily has said, I know what he told her, and I know the impact their
words had on me for the few past hours.
But
Julian has to come first. I feel a sense of urgency for the first time. I can
’
t let him think I was out to deceive him.
Deal
with Julian first, I tell myself, then Ethan.
I
’
m coward, I know.
Ethan
will be much more difficult, that
’
s
why I save him for last.
((~~!~~))
Lily is right, there
’
s no time like the present, so, I pick up
her phone and dial Julian
’
s
number. I
’
ll
speak to him and tell him everything.
When
he picks up, he is very curt with me, and is barely letting me talk. He
abruptly tells me that whatever it is I want to discuss, I
’
ll have to call him when he
’
s at Ethan
’
s, so both of them can hear! He wants no
more secrets, and that
’
s
the only way, he deal with me.
I
am shocked. I did expect him to be angry, but not that callous.
My
own anger is now brewing, and less than half an hour later, I call my house
number and Ethan replies, slightly shocked to hear my voice. When I tell him I
want to speak both to him and Julian who I know is there, he puts me on
speaker, and I tell them what
’
s
going to happen. They will get their answers straight from me. I
’
ll deal with both separately, face to
face. They both protest, and all voices are raised, but I just end the call
when I realize they are trying to ambush me to give into their demand to see
them at once.
I
tell them maybe I won
’
t
call either at all since they both seem to come from the same place,
bastardville.
I
stay at Lily
’
s
for three more days. On the first one, I go to the hospital with her, tests are
administered and results expedited, and I spend the afternoon waiting. When in the
evening I am told my body is in the clear, and that at 9 1/2 weeks, the
pregnancy is going strong and should not present any issues, I cry. My decision
is made. I will go to Julian as I had planned when leaving Langkawi. Ethan will
have to wait.
On
the second day, I start to have doubts about Julian
’
s reaction to the impending news. He has
been nothing but cold in the last two phone calls. I guess I deserved it, but I
start to wonder if telling him I am pregnant will make things worse, much
worse. Lily tells me he needs to know, whether he likes it or not, whether
things get worse or not.
I
call James. I haven
’
t
spoken to him in a month and I know he
’
s been worried and looking for me since I
left Dubai.
He
is happy to hear from me, surprised to find out I am in Boston. I joke and tell
him, his skills needs polishing. He asks which passport I have used to enter
the country. That shuts me up. He
’
s
right, it
’
s
not his skills, it
’
s
me, swapping passports has become second nature. It dawns on me, I won
’
t need to anymore, Ethan knows exactly
where I am.
I
ask James to let me know when Julian re-enters the country. He doesn
’
t ask how I know he
’
s left LA or why I am asking his help,
just assures me, he
’
ll
call me. I promise to have dinner with him when I get back to California as I
really miss our laughs.
On
the third day, James calls to let me know Julian is back in L.A, his jet has
just landed. I ring him immediately, telling him, he can expect me later
because I want to say a few things to him. Again, he is short with me, refuting
the explanations I try introduce in the conversation, and it fuels my doubts
and anger even more.
I
am a lot of things, but never have I cheated on anyone in my life, and I will
bring a copy of my divorce certificate to him, since he doesn
’
t seem to believe a word I say.
But
that
’
s
not important; what is, is my pregnancy. He needs to know, no matter how angry
he is. I convince myself, he will be ok with it, and things will improve
between us, once he knows.
He
has to listen to me, if only for the sake of the baby I
’
m carrying.
Yes,
Julian first. Then, I will see Ethan, and deal with
us.
Because
whether I like it or not, I have finally admitted to myself, there is still
a
us.
Vi
and Julian
“
What?!
Are you serious?
”
she says, incredulous, searching his features for signs.
She
has arrived just a few minutes ago, and looking at him now, is wondering, if
she has made a terrible mistake, or if he simply has lost his mind.
“
Yes,
”
he replies, breaking inside, but his face
a mask of calmness, he truly doesn
’
t
feel.
“
Why?
”
she asks, tilting her head,
incomprehension all over her face.
“
Because I love you,
”
he states, as if evident and therefore
self-explanatory.
“
Because you love me, you are asking me to
go?
”
She shakes her head,
“
G-Go
back to Ethan? This is what you are saying Julian?
”
she says again, as if to make sure her
ears are not deceiving her.
“
Yes.
”
he repeats, clearly but coolly, wishing
she would just walk out the door, so he can collapse.
They
stare at each other.
Neither
can say anything.
((~~!~~))
He had been pacing. This was worse than
any casting call he ever lived. How could a man like him be such a nervous
wreck?
Maybe
it was the tiredness. After all, he only had time for a 3 hours nap since
landing back in Los Angeles from Sydney. His Blancpain watch told him it was
5:53 p.m. Soon she would be there, and if her last words were an indication,
they were both in for some serious damage.
“
Julian, come hell or high water, even an
earthquake will not prevent me from seeing you today. I have something to say
and I will be at your house at 6 p.m. tonight.
”
This was the message she had left on his
voicemail a few hours ago before leaving Boston.
He
felt like a lion in a cage. Anticipation of seeing her was hindered by the
things he had been thinking about her, about them. In fact, he was nearly
certain there would be no more
‘
them
’
by the time the sun set tonight; he wasn
’
t even sure there had been a
‘
them
’
to begin with
…
((~~!~~))
The trip to Sydney had been an eye opener.
Things were clearer in his mind and his heart. He knew he loved her, even more
than he thought possible; yet, he also understood, her situation with
Ethan was unresolved in spite of her denegation and the divorce certificate she
was brandishing like a badge of honour, as if a piece of paper would suffice to
erase
their
past.
Yes,
the trip to Sydney had been a necessary ordeal.
She
had called him the next morning after he had spent the entire previous day
listening to Ethan talk about her, about
them
. As the hours went by, he
had been more convinced than ever the woman he loved had very much unfinished
business with his friend, and he would not, could not interfere, no matter how
much he loved her.
Then
upon going back to the McCarty estate and having a restless night he had
convinced himself that because he loved her, he would instead fight for her,
for the two them. Ethan be damned!
But
when she called him in mid-morning, his brain took over. Hearing her voice
warmed his heart, but his brain was a cold, calculating machine, and he told
her he wouldn
’
t
speak to her until she had resolved her issues with E. He had refused to
entertain any discussion, almost afraid of what he would say to her, if he let
himself follow his heart. He told her if anything else needed to be said, she
’
d have to call Ethan
’
s house, as he was on his way over there
and she could speak to the both of them. He wanted no more secrets, nor misunderstanding.
He
hadn
’
t
believed she would actually do it, but she had, less than an hour later. She
called, and asked E. to put her on speaker so she could address them both at
once.
What
she had said had been short, leaving both men bitter.
She
had stated she needed time alone to collect her thoughts and sort out her
feelings, but would contact each of them individually, telling Julian he needn
’
t stay in Australia on her account, and
telling E he needn
’
t
leave the country either, she would come to see him when she was ready. She
promised she would not take too long now that the truth was out in the open.
They had no choice but to wait on her, which was infuriating and as they tried
to convey their dissatisfaction, she had ended the call, declaring she wouldn
’
t be ambushed by either of them.
As
the men said their goodbyes, both were reeling, and knew their bond would
somehow survive, but never be the same. Because of
her
.
((~~!~~))
Julian had gone to Saint Patrick
’
s church to try to find solace for his
tormented soul before heading to the airport to take the jet flying him back to
LA. He had surprisingly found Ethan there, sharing the same distress he
was feeling. Seeing the look on his friend
’
s face when he told him to make Vi happy,
Julian made the incredible decision to be the one to let her go. It was the
right thing to do. He knew all too well, what it felt like to try to hold on at
any costs to someone who wasn
’
t
yours.
He
made that mistake once, and paid dearly.
Not
this time.
Vi
was really Ethan
’
s,
and he
’
s
been on borrowed time with her.
It
was time to let her go.
((~~!~~))
She had called him just as he had barely
walked through customs at LAX. She claimed she had something important to
discuss. A phone confrontation had been out of the question for him, and he had
cut the conversation short when she had started arguing she had a divorce
certificate proving she was a free woman and she hadn
’
t cheated or betrayed Ethan by being with
him. He didn
’
t
want to hear it and said so, as he was looking for the chauffeured car that
would take him home, to his bed. She had retorted since he wasn
’
t willing to listen to her, she would fly
over to see him.
Now it
’
s
5:56 p.m. and he is waiting for her.
He
has made a decision and only has one question for her. Their entire
relationship hinges upon her response.
He
will not be deterred, swayed or distracted. Yes, he needs to stay clear headed.
That
’
s
what he
’
s
telling himself, as he sees her come through the open door of his mansion.
They
bypass the customary hellos, and both start talking at the same time once their
eyes meet. The tension in the air is palpable, as if they already know the
first one talking will be winning the battle tonight. He motions her to the
living room, and says,
“
Vi, I just need to tell you one thing and
to ask you a single question, then you can talk to your heart
’
s content.
”
She nods, and she sits in the sofa in
front of him. He can tell she is guarded and nervous, but so is he; he wants
this done and over with, he
’
s
waited long enough to get answers from her.
Yes,
he needs to get it done and over with as quickly as possible, so his intent,
his decision is not deterred by her presence.
Her
presence is his undoing; he
’
s
already getting distracted by her perfume.
“
I love you.
”
he says, because this is the one thing he
has been wanting to tell her for months now, and it needs to be acknowledged.
“
You love me?
”
she asks, but it sounds more like a
statement than a question.
“
This
is what you wanted to tell me?
”
“
Yes. And I
’
m going to ask you a question and I need
an honest answer, then you can tell me whatever you wish.
”
She
nods in silence, as her heart is jumping for joy. She
’
s digesting his words. He loves her. She
loves him too. He will not reject her once she tells him she is expecting. Let
him ask whatever he wants, she
’
ll
be truthful and they can finally begin their life together.
She
’
s daydreaming, and his question is like an
ice cold bucket of water.
“
Considering your past, do you still love
Ethan?
”
he asks, holding her gaze. The question is simple and only requires a yes or a
no, but her face shows surprise and conflict.
She
doesn
’
t
reply, and Julian is waiting.
His
jaw is tight, and as seconds of silence transform into minutes, he feels
himself going deeper into the darkness. Rationally he knows he has no right to
feel the way he does, but his heart begs to differ. He feels incredible rage.
Incredible pain.
“
You don
’
t choose who you love, or how you love
them. There
’
s
no manual that says it has to be done a certain way or that there is an
expiration date.
”
she finally replies.
He
feels gutted by her words. Doesn
’
t
she see the irony in them?
“
You should go home,
”
he says, standing up. He wants her to leave.
“
I just got here!
”
she retorts indignantly, also standing.
She has many things to discuss with him. This can
’
t be happening!