Authors: Vivienne Harris-Scott
“
Ethan
…
I
’
m
…
I
’
m sorry.
“
murmurs Dr Michaellson as silence falls
between them and he looks at his patient who has taken the recliner up and is
massaging his temples.
“
What are the doctors saying?
”
asks the physician, disturbed by this
unexpected new development, and completely forgetting what he had planned to
say to Ethan whom he just saw less than 24 hours ago, and did not expect to see
until next week, at the very least. Too many sessions in a short time were
never advisable,- as one needs time to ingest and reflect-, but evidently, this
was a dire emergency and needed to be attended accordingly.
“
They need to terminate the pregnancy. She
collapsed last night
…
I
spent the night at the hospital
…
They
need to terminate
…
she
has a tumor that is killing her
…”
his patient repeats, staring at him, trying to focus on the man in front of him
when his mind is screaming for relief, of any sort.
“
How do you feel about it?
”
the physician asks, frankly worried; but
as he sees incomprehension on Ethan
’
s features he adds gently,
“
I mean the termination,
”
knowing the subject is like a TNT stick
that needs careful handling.
“
I want her to live. I need her alive.
”
Ethan replies instantly.
“
You won
’
t regret not meeting the child she is
carrying?
”
the doctor asks to ensure he understand perfectly what Ethan is saying.
“
I won
’
t. I can
’
t lose her; we can have another child when
she is better. I cannot replace her!
”
Ethan says, with a determination that
perturbs the doctor.
Is
the man plainly stubborn or just determined?
Dr.
Michaellson asks himself, unsure of what to say.
His
patient has an attachment to his wife that is rarely seen; it
’
s either pathological or purely
remarkable. Dr. Michaellson hasn
’
t
been able to determine which, thus far.
“
Well first thing first. How did she react
to the news?
”
“
I haven
’
t told her yet.
“
Ethan whispers, shutting his eyes, still
rubbing his temples.
“
You haven
’
t told her? Surely, the doctors have
…”
the therapist declares.
“
I haven
’
t told her nor have they. She has been in
and out of consciousness since last night. I haven
’
t slept and spent the night at the
hospital where I
’
ll
be returning when I leave your office. I
’
ll be the one telling her. Not them.
”
Ethan retorts in a hollow voice, meeting
his therapist eyes.
“
Ethan
…
how do you think she
’
ll react?
”
asks the doctor cautiously.
“
I don
’
t know. But there isn
’
t much choice here. She needs to save her
life.
”
The NSW Premier replies, and adds adamantly,
“
That
’
s all there is to it.
”
((~~!~~))
Session 14.
“
You seem joyful. Anything significant
happened this week?
’
the doctor asks to his whistling patient.
“
Well, you know she
’
s back home, and she is better
…”
Ethan says, the relief palpable in his
cheerful tone.
“
We
still barely speak but her best friends are here,
”
he pursues with a sigh,
“…
and I heard her laugh, I nearly cried of
joy, it
’
s
been so long. It feels good to know she can still laugh,
”
he finishes, a boyish smile on his face
while he pours himself some water.
“
How do you mean?
”
the doctor asks, indulging his patient
who is spotting a wide grin that hasn
’
t graced his features for quite some time.
“
Well, if they can make her laugh, so will
I, some day.
“
Ethan retorts logically, a soft smile still on his face, his eyes holding those
of the doctor, almost daring him to contradict him.
He
looks so happy in his vulnerability, yet so logical; the doctor can actually
understand how this predominantly cool and calculating man can get women to
swoon over him, and men to actually listen and obey him. His underlying charm
paired with his unwavering determination is almost infectious.
The
experienced therapist still doesn
’
t
know if his patient is delusional or simply too confident; either way, Ethan is
convinced of his words and since he can
’
t disprove him, he nods, encouraging him
to talk.
“
So, I take it that things are progressing
then?
”
the doctor adds, making notes on a pad.
“
Yes indeed. Indeed.
”
Ethan replies softly.
“
I really think, the worst is behind us
Doctor
…”
he pursues explaining,
”
Don
’
t get me wrong
…
we are not anywhere near pure bliss yet,
but I can feel she no longer wants to leave me and since I
’
m not going to give her any reason to,-
quite the contrary !-
…
I feel for the first time since what I have done to her, we are on the path of
forgiveness
…”
Dr
Michaellson stops writing and stares at his patient, stunned.
“
Ethan
…
are you sure you are not counting your
chicken before they hatch?
”
He clears his throat and adds,
“
I
mean forgiveness is obviously what you are seeking and the only way your
marriage will ever survive the event, but aren
’
t you celebrating a bit too soon?
”
“
No. I am not,
”
responds Ethan, eyes and voice cold as
ice.
His
eyes have narrowed as he says in a calm, yet commanding voice,
“
Dr. There is one thing you must understand
about me, specifically about me and my wife
…”
his voice trails lowly almost menacing,
yet not quite,
“
We
love each other and we need each other. Me coming here to see you isn
’
t to apologize for what I have done to
her. No apology will ever be enough
…
I
’
m here because I know I need to change
some of my ways and atone, and you are helping me finding the tools within
myself to do just that. So you see, the answer is no, I am not having an early
celebration. She will forgive me because ultimately she will no longer see me
as the man who aggressed her, but as Ethan, her husband, the one who loves her
and would do anything for her
…
including
going to therapy. I
’
m
doing this as much to heal myself as I am doing it for her, for us, and our
marriage. Forgiveness is the simple next logical step.
”
Ethan declares his eyes still resting on
his interlocutor.
Dr
Michaellson doesn
’
t
respond because the only thought that comes to mind in light of his patient
’
s statement is:
He
’
s
got me there.
((~~!~~))
Session 18.
“
Wow. I
’
ll admit I am kind of surprised here
…
Have you told her you
’
re seeing me?
”
The Dr. sighs. Just when he thought he
had a firm handle on his patient
’
s
personality, he shocks him, once more.
“
No. I haven
’
t. As you know things have been crazy the
past few months and now
…”
Ethan replies, making a hand movement as to discard a question he considers as
stupid.
“
Now what?
”
The Dr asks, truly curious.
“
Well
,
I feel if I told her now
,
she
’
d
think I
’
m
trying to redeem myself
…”
Ethan admits
,
shyly.
“
Aren
’
t you?
”
is the deadpan response.