Authors: Vivienne Harris-Scott
I
exhale, unable to word my deepest fear.
We
watch each other intensely until I finally say,
“
My wife. My son.
”
and open the door, leaving a stunned
Julian in the stairwell.
((~~!~~))
Julian
When I arrived at the hospital with
Melissa, I knew the news would be bad. We had heard on the radio, the mention
of the accident, and while no names had been released, I knew.
When
I finally met the hospital administrator who had been expecting us, and he
informed me of the exact circumstances that brought Belinda and my daughter
’
s remains to his hospital, he watched me
collapse on the chair in his office. I couldn
’
t breathe. He called in a nurse asking her
to bring tranquillizers at once, as he was witnessing my panic attack.
Melissa
was shell-shocked, and looking at me with an unbearable look of horror and
fright. I got up, and started to run through the hospital corridors until I saw
the stairwell door, opened it, and started to go up until I collapsed within
seconds, breaking into tears.
I
had lost my daughter. Forever. The things I had done to keep her, and now I had
lost her.
The
guilt was overwhelming.
She
was dead because of me, and I would have to live with that knowledge for the
rest of my life.
I
couldn
’
t
stop crying her loss as my heart broke into a million pieces.
((~~!~~))
Ethan
The doctors have finally come back to the
waiting room, as I am on the phone with Lily, she is about to board her flight,
and rang me to let me know she is on her way, begging me to keep her apprised
of any news even as she is in the air. I tell her to hold for a second as Dr.
Stern, stops in front of me, removes his surgical cap, and can barely hold my
gaze.
I
feel my insides chill. My entire body is starting to tremble.
Is
he going to tell me that I have lost both my child and my wife?
Julian
He woke up with a cry, sweaty and
shivering.
He
had fallen asleep, and memories of the last few days he had spent in Australia
had assaulted him without mercy.
He
removed, his shirt, he was dripping with cold sweat and the cabin wasn
’
t particularly warm, at 13,000 feet above
ground.
He
wasn
’
t
even there yet, and already he was having the worst physical reaction he had in
years, short of the last time he had been on a plane doing to exact reverse
trip. Sydney to Los Angeles.
Then,
Marcus, Todd and Melissa accompanied him.
Them
and an urn.
An
urn, containing his daughter
’
s
ashes.
((~~!~~))
As Julian was putting on a dry, warm
jumper on, he looked at himself in the plane
’
s bathroom mirror, and for the first time since
deciding to make the trip, whatever the personal cost to him might be, he felt
doubts.
Maybe
Marcus had been right. Maybe he was out of his mind.
((~~!~~))
Marcus had looked at me bewildered, after
I told him what my plans were.
“
Have
you lost your mind?
”
he asked absolutely flabbergasted.
((~~!~~))
Things were getting ridiculous. How did
they expect him to concentrate on work if all he could think about was
her
?
Julian
was not this man; he was not the type to miss someone to the point of
obsession. But, miss her, he did. As days went by, she became the only thing he
could think of. Over three full weeks had passed since he last saw her or heard
from her, and he was near breaking point.
At
first, he was grateful to be back at work, shooting. Having structured and
repetitive work was a relief he was truly thankful for, because his thoughts
drifted back to
her
when he was alone. Victoryn McGregor and the hotel
room in Dubai. Lush memories of their last encounter were taking up far too much
of his time. At night, his dreams were filled with fantasies of her. These
fantasies were the only thing sustaining him these days.
Yeah,
Vi. Preferably naked, and underneath him, being fucked within an inch of her
life, finally surrendering
…
He
wanted her. He needed her.
When
he wasn
’
t
fantasizing about her, he was simply worried about her whereabouts and whatever
dangers she might be in.
He
was thinking of her, every day, every hour. It was consuming. Too consuming.
She was like a drug, and he couldn
’
t
deal with the withdrawals anymore.
Damn
her!
So,
when James had finally rung him with the news that one of her passport had been
flashed at Charles de Gaulle airport in Paris, he didn
’
t think twice. He called Ari telling him
he was taking an indefinite break from work and would pay the financial
penalties attached, and rang Marcus telling him what he was planning to do to
get her back at all costs.
Marcus
had driven to the house to try to make some sense of it.
Vi
had forced him to take stock of his life, and the previous weeks since her
abrupt departure had been an eye opener as to where he wanted his life to go
from the moment he would find her. He would be relentless in proving to her
that he was worthy of her trust, but most importantly, her love.
After
the situation with Ethan had become apparent in light of James revelations, he
had realized he had to prove to her that not only what they had went beyond the
physical attraction they both experienced and showed, but also that not all men
would hurt and betray her. Even if he still had doubts Ethan would actually
hurt her. However, because of his affiliation with E., he had to demonstrate
his commitment to her; not only in words, but also by making certain she was no
longer afraid of what Ethan could or would do to her. It had taken him weeks of
pondering on how to get her back in is life once he knew where she was, but
finally, he had the answer.
The
decision was made. He would go and see Ethan. He would reason with him and they
would find some kind of agreement. Vi was his, and he
’
d be damned if he let anyone hurt her
again, least of all E. He was not looking forward to confront Ethan, but he
would do it.
For her
.
All
he needed was to locate her. He would be on his way to Australia to discuss
their situation with her husband or ex-husband, whichever legal title he had
these days. Either way, he would make it crystal clear to Ethan; he was not to
interfere in her life. Then, he
’
d
go and see her and they
’
d
finally be together. At long last. He had it all mapped out in his head and
nothing would derail his plans.
Marcus
thought he was insane to stake a claim on her when he didn
’
t even know how she felt about him or where
she was. The fact that Julian kept telling him both were irrelevant just made
him even more wary of his mental sanity when she was concerned. Moreover, he
was worried Julian would dredge up things between these two that neither him
nor James was privy of, and that could be even more dangerous for her once
Ethan knew she was in his life. He simply couldn
’
t understand what Julian
’
s motivations were to go to Australia and
see Ethan McGregor when he hadn
’
t
even had a chance to determine where his relationship with Vi was at exactly or
even define it.
((~~!~~))
“
Frances?
She is so cold, the devil is looking for a jacket.
”
I had replied harshly when Marcus enquired
what was happening with us since she had made a steady reappearance in my life
since the Oscars.
“
Marcus, Frances never was and never will be
the One. She was fun to be with
…
For Christ
sake, she is Frances Palmers...but, Vi,
…
Vi is the one for me, simple really
…”
my voice softening at the mention of her
name.
“
Look, I haven
’
t met her yet, but so far the woman has
turned your life upside down!
”
he bluntly blurted, then asked,
”
How
do you know she
’
s
even worth it? It can
’
t
be the sex, man
…
this
infatuation is
…”
“
I love her, it
’
s
simple as that Marcus.
”
I said. It was a statement, not an explanation.
“
You
’
re obsessed with her Julian. Just admit
it,
”
he countered, eyes blazing.
I
gave him a sharp look, but he pressed on.
“
Why? You met her twice, and it
’
s been one thing after the other ever
since! Aren
’
t you tired of the ups and downs?
This is worse than a roller coaster! It isn
’
t healthy
…”
he argued.
“
You are partly right Marcus. Only, partly.
Something about her is so addictive
…”
I thought of her lips, her voice,
”
It
’
s inexplicable. It
’
s something one needs to experience to
actually understand. I
’
m
certain Ethan gets it. Even James does. You
’
ve seen how loyal he
’
s been to her
…
you need to meet her, spend time with her,
and you
’
ll
see. She
’
s
has this pull
…”
I had this vivid image of her and it
’
s was as if I was getting entranced into
some memory of her. Marcus makes me snap back to reality, repeating,
“
You are obsessed!
”
I
look at him, and calmly said,
”
Marcus,
it
’
s
not an obsession. I wouldn
’
t
admit this to anyone else, but you know me better than most
…
.She like air.
”
“
Air?
”
Marcus is now shaking his head as if I
’
ve completely lost it.
“
Yes, I need her like I need air. I can
endure anything as long as I know, when all is said and done, she is safe and
she
’
ll
come back to me. It took me weeks to understand it, but see Marcus, this is
what true love is
…”
“
You love her? Really love her?
”
he asked, insistently, perplexity all
over his face.
“
Yes,
”
was my simple monosyllabic answer.
Nothing else needed to be said.
"How
do you know this isn
’
t
just lust, or an intense game of hide and seek, and once you get her back, your
interest will wane
…
?
I mean, love, man
…
"
Marcus said, stubbornly unconvinced.
I
stood up and stared deeply into the dark brown eyes of my friend, and said in
an assured tone, "I just know. There's no doubt, no hesitance, I
’
m as sure of it as breathing. When I think
of her, I can't imagine what life would be like without her in it; the mere
thought of it physically ails me. You
’
ve seen it with your own eyes Marcus. That
’
s how I know."
I
went to play with one of the pokers, moving the wood in the fireplace, and
staring at the flames, added softly,
“
You
’
ve been with me all this time, you
’
ve seen me in the past few weeks, well
months now, you
’
ve
seen how she affected me
…
and yet, I come back for more, I keep pursuing her
…”
I looked up and with a serious
expression,
“
Because
there
’
s
nothing else, no one else for me
…
No one has ever made me feel this way, except Maddie
…”
my voice broke.