Authors: Vivienne Harris-Scott
Ethan
August 2004. Darling Harbour. Sydney.
Australia.
I had to make a choice between my son and
my wife, I chose my son while my wife is in a coma. They say in sickness and in
health or till death us part. I am feeling the truth of both right now.
I
don
’
t
know what the outcome will be in either case; all I can do is pray.
If
you ask me to quit my function of Premier today, I would in exchange it for
his
life, I would exchange for
her
life.
But,
God isn
’
t
into bargaining
…
Please,
God, let them live, both of them
…
As
I am sitting in Saint Patrick
’
s
Church after the service for Julian
’
s daughter ended, I am thinking of my wife
and my son, and praying for both.
I
have a son. He
’
s
less than a week old, and has been in NICU ever since he was extracted from my
wife
’
s
sick body.
I
haven
’
t
been able to touch him yet, only see him. And while he is small, he is
beautiful and strong, the best of both of us.
The
doctors are actually very optimistic about him. Yes, he is early, but under
their care, they are telling me by next month he will be out of the woods and
possibly able to even leave the hospital.
I
am scared for him, for both of us. Because if my wife doesn
’
t come out of the coma or worse leaves us,
how will I explain to my son, he
’
ll
have to grow up without his mother? How do I, myself, keep on living without
her, when every single time I look at him, it
’
s her I see?
My
heart is breaking, I don
’
t
know if I can do this.
((~~!~~))
Please, God, take me instead, let them
both be
…
That
’
s all I can ask, that
’
s all I keep asking, over and over.
Almost
every minute of every day.
It
’
s now
four weeks since my son was born and while he is still in the NICU at my
demand, - because I am still scared-, he
’
s according to the doctors completely out
of the danger zone, getting stronger each passing day.
I
spent every free minute I have at the hospital, with him or her.
She
is still sleeping while he grows into a beautiful strong baby. The doctors have
attempted twice to make her come out of the coma without success. They keep telling
me, her vitals are good; she will come out of it when she is ready.
I
’
ve never been a very patient man and I
feel powerless.
I
try to focus all my energies on my son.
He
has her smile and like hers, it illuminates his face when he breaks into it.
I
love Luca so much it almost hurts. I truly never thought I could love anyone
more than I love my wife, but here it is, he supersedes her and everything
else.
I
guess, Julian was right. Once you have a child, it changes everything.
The
premiership has taken a 3
rd
seat in my life; it
’
s almost a distraction, and this state of
affairs is something that confuses my staff. According to Anna, they wonder if
my heart is still in it. I tell her to just do her job and mind her own
business. She has the gall to reply, the way I
’
m running the state is her business, her
career is riding on mine and if I
’
m
no longer up for the job, she needs to know. I almost have the heart to fire
her right then and there; but, I
’
m
still myself, and know how valuable she is, so I respond the state of NSW is
fine under my leadership and until the polls say otherwise in 18 months, we are
all fine. Besides everyone understands a man needs to put his family first when
it
’
s
in crisis, so why can
’
t
she?
She
coyly retorts I
’
m
not just any man; I
’
m
Ethan McGregor, Premier of the largest state of the country, a man who put
politics first before his marriage, at least that
’
s how she remembers it
…
I
feel heat and my anger surges. She is working on my last nerve and as I
’
m about to glacially respond to her
comments, my mobile phone rings, and as I look at the number, I recognize, it
’
s the hospital
’
s.
“
Anna, please get out.
”
I say coolly, as I press on receive.
She
has the good sense to leave when she meets my artic stare.
“
Mr McGregor?
”
is asked by a female voice.
“
Yes?
”
I reply, feeling my stomach tighten.
“
This is Connie, I
’
m the head nurse from the
…”
But,
I interrupts her,
“
Yes,
Connie? Is this about my son or my wife?
”
I sigh, waiting for her answer.
“
It
’
s your wife Mr McGregor. I have excellent
news
…
She
has woken up a few minutes
…
-
”
is gladly said over the receiver.
I
don
’
t
hear the rest as I
’
m
already up, off my desk
’
s
chair pressing the intercom to signal my chauffeur I am immediately coming
down.
Vic
is awake! Thank God! Finally!
Forgive
me for ever doubting you!
Little
do I know, what God gives, he can as easily also take.
Julian
He awoke dazed and dead tired. Yawning, he
stretched and wondered why he felt so groggy. Suddenly, he felt an icy finger
of fear shoot down his spine as he recalled where he was and why.
The
pilot had just announced they were twenty minutes away from landing at Sydney
Kingsfords
Smith.
He
would see Ethan in just a few hours.
((~~!~~))
He asked the chauffeur to stop the car.
They were right in front of the entrance gates and Julian felt his heart
tighten in his chest as he looked through the Limousine windows.
The
McCarty estate in all its glory was a few yards away.
Home.
((~~!~~))
Right after his call to Ethan, Julian had
rung his mother solicitor in Sydney and asked him to organize a cleaning
service so the house would be presentable for his return.
The
man had been shocked to hear from him after such a long period, but assured him
all would be done, help would be hired to be at his disposal for his stay, and
he
’
d
also arrange for a secure car service to pick him up at the airport.
Now,
here he was.
Home.
He
looked at the imposing mansion as the car was going along the long tree lined
driveway and felt his throat tighten more. This was his mother
’
s home.
This
was the last place he spent time with Maddie alive.
This
was the last place he saw his mother alive.
This
was the place life as he knew it had ended.
He
had no choice but push through the pain that gripped his heart.
He
needed to go inside.
One
step after the other
, he told himself.
As
he exited the car and watched the chauffeur pull his leather bags from the
trunk, he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket.
When
he saw the caller
’
s
ID flash on the screen, he looked up at the sky and said a silent
“
thanks,
”
as he said aloud, a grin plastered on his
face,
“
I
don
’
t
think I ever been so happy to have you call me
…”
((~~!~~))
What he would do without Marcus,
sometimes, he wondered
…
The
man was his general business manager, running the conglomerate carrying his
name, and doing a splendid job at it, with minimal interference so Julian would
keep enjoying his carefree life
…
He
was one of his best friends, always there when needed, or when not
…
and, right here, Julian had another proof
of his friend
’
s
concern for him.
He
had rung Melissa and told her where her brother was headed
…
This
was another perfect example of how essential Marcus was to Julian. Sometimes
the man knew what he needed better than he did himself, and thank God for that.
Hearing
Melissa
’
s
voice, right as the car had parked in front of the house and he was steeling
and steering himself trying to summon the courage to take a step forward and
actually go in, had been the nudge he needed.
Another
person in his life for which he as grateful for. This brought a full smile to
his face, as he was suddenly thinking about the huge bash these very same two
people were throwing him for his birthday in just a few weeks. He should be the
one throwing them a party.
(~~!~~))
“
Have
you enquired about
…”
Mel started in one low
breath, she knew the topic was sensitive, and true to form, her brother didn
’
t even let her finish the sentence.
“
Mel, don
’
t!
”
he spat, irritated at where his sister
was taking the conversation.
His
entourage knew better than to raise this subject in his presence, so why was
Mel bringing it up? Now, of all times!
“
Julian, you are home. You survived the
first day in the house and I know it can
’
t be easy
…
It isn
’
t that far-fetched to ask if
…
-
”
his sister tried to explain, but was,
once again, cut short, as he angrily retorted,
“
Mel, just don
’
t!
”
he sighed adding, more softly,
“
Please, I don
’
t want to do this, I can
’
t do this
…”
His
sister capitulated, as she knew, pushing him into a corner over this very this
subject was simply useless, but also dangerous to his mental stability.
She
softly apologized,
“
I
’
m sorry, we just left and I thought
…
Well, never mind, you
’
re there for a specific purpose, so I do
wish you to get all the answers you came for
…”
He
knew what she was about to say,
“
They
left, and never looked back.
”
The pain of losing Maddie was too raw to even broach the subject of Belinda
’
s role in the tragedy or her fate
afterwards. When Julian went into seclusion, Belinda was simply forgotten, and
any thought involving her, carefully pushed away.
“
Confronting the Ethan will be hard enough
…”
Melissa added softly.
“
Exactly. I don
’
t need any more distractions, I can
’
t think of that bitch! I can
’
t care if she
’
s dead or alive, and it is a good thing
…
Flying here has already been an
ordeal
…”
he continued, utter sadness threatening to overwhelm him.
“
I
’
m sorry. I shouldn
’
t ha-
…”
she retreated, realising he was already
under enormous mental strain.
“
Mel, it
’
s fine. You are right. I am here to
confront the past but I
’
m
seeing Ethan this afternoon, and that
’
s all I can take on right now
…”
he chuckled bitterly, seeing humor in
words that really weren
’
t
at all amusing.
He
was starting to get the feeling this trip was getting more draining every
passing minute, and prayed he would make it out alive.
Fucking
Australia
, one day in and he couldn
’
t wait to leave.
Some
things just don
’
t
change
, he thought, as he dialled the number for his mother
’
s solicitor.
((~~!~~))
“
I
’
m surprised you actually showed up! Trying
to ease your guilty conscience about something?
“
Ethan said with a slight grin, genuinely
happy to see his friend.
Julian
laughed, shaking his head,
“
I
think self-loathing is your specialty!
”
he replied deadpan.
The
two men happily embraced each other.
Their
reunion was finally happening.
Their
confrontation could begin.