The Reaping (20 page)

Don’t remind me.

“The council could offer us help about what to do with the serum.”

But the idea of sitting down and having a meeting with my dad leaves me cold.

Jack kisses my forehead, his lips lingering on my skin, his next words whispered into my hair. “You can do anything, Terra. You’re just as strong as Nell. Maybe stronger.”

I don’t feel strong.

“That’s because you’re caught in the middle of it. But I see you—really see you—and you’re amazing.”

I lay my head on his shoulder, wishing we could stay this way forever, but knowing it won’t last. Even the peace we have with just the four of us in quarantine won’t last. It will end after one more day, and then I will probably prove Jack wrong. I’ll face my father, and we’ll see how strong—or weak—I really am.

Chapter Fifteen

“It’s time for your scheduled evaluation, Terra.” The medical assistant smiles her white teeth at me, and her eyebrows are raised expectantly. She gestures for the door next to her desk that reads
Medical Area Access
. Nell and Red came back from their evaluations half an hour ago.

“I’ve never seen so much gadgetry in all my life,” Red said, huffing as he sat down to lunch.

Nell patted his arm and
tsked
him. “Don’t let your temper get the best of you.”

Red shook his head. “They examined every inch of me, let me tell you. I have no secrets anymore.”

Jack frowned. “They were professional, though, weren’t they? It wasn’t humiliating or offensive like in the Salt Lake hospital?”

Red took a bite of his sandwich. “Doesn’t need to be humiliating to be too personal.” He chewed for a minute and then sighed. “No, they were very professional. As professional as a professional doctor should be, I guess—I’ve never had a real doctor’s appointment in my whole life. But let me tell you one thing. I asked the doctor about the nomads who’ve come here, and you know what he said? Not a one of them has brought any kind of illness. So why are we in quarantine?”

“Oh, hush now, Red,” Nell said. “They’re just protecting everyone who lives here. It may not seem necessary, but I think it shows they care. And it’s not bad at all here where we are.” She lowered her voice. “And we get to have our own place tomorrow morning.”

Red’s face unwrinkled as he kissed Nell’s hand. “And it’s just not coming fast enough.”

Now here I am, waiting for my own exam. I have a light gown on, and I clutch it to me, closing up the open back. The lights are bright and almost warm. The door from the quarantine room is closed, but the door into the rest of the medical area hangs open a fraction of an inch. They must be getting more lax in their quarantine procedures. I expected this room to be zipped up tight. Through the crack, I see the white scrubs of the doctor approaching.

“Terra.” He extends his hand and I reach mine to shake it, all the while being careful to keep my gown clenched closed with my other. “It’s nice having you back again.”

I nod.

He reviews his tablet. “Since we have your exam results from a year ago, we’ll just take a few tests and then compare the results to see how you’re doing. This shouldn’t take too long.”

He places the tablet on the counter and pulls on exam gloves. I sit through the poking, prodding, and blood draws with stoic toleration. The doctor chats as he works, and his blue eyes reflect his patience and attention to detail as he works. It’s so nice to be able to read his eyes, unlike a certain pair of black eyes belonging to a certain doctor at a certain labor camp.

“Relax,” the doctor says as he hits my knee to check my reflexes.

Sorry
, I mouth. I didn’t realize thinking about the good doctor had quite that effect on me. I take a deep breath and give him a watered-down smile.

My exam is over, and the doctor is about to leave the room so I can get dressed and return to quarantine when he pauses at the door and turns back to me. “I’m working on something for your communication problem. We’ll discuss it tomorrow when you’re ready to leave quarantine.” Then he’s gone.

Funny, I didn’t realize I had a problem.

I lie in my bunk, listening to the sounds of snoring—Nell’s soft rasp and Red’s deep bullfrog. It might keep anyone else up, but it’s comforting to me. I’m curled on my side, enjoying the unfamiliar softness of the mattress and gazing at the empty bunk across the aisle from me. The last time I slept on a bunk, I shivered all night long and listened to much worse things that snoring. My blanket is pulled up tight around my chin, and I’m trying to trick myself into thinking about how perfectly comfortable I am. I should be able to close my eyes and fall asleep in a heartbeat, but my eyes are glued open and all I can do is stare. I need to meet with my father; I need to ask the council for help with the loyalty serum; I need to talk to Jack about how long I’m going to stay in the colony. The pit in my stomach is growing by the second.

Jack leans his head over the top bunk. “Are you still awake?” he whispers.

I peer up at him, and his eyes gleam in the faint reflections of light filtering under the door. I nod.

He climbs down. “Do you mind?”

I scoot closer to the wall and fling the covers over both of us. He grabs my hand, leaving the palm up and starts writing on it. His touch tingles through the calloused skin of my hand all the way to my toes.

Nervous?

Yes.

Shouldn’t be.

I know. Can’t help it.

Jack leans his head against mine, and I feel his cheeks turning up with his smile. His finger hovers over my hand before he decides to write.

You’ll be fine.

Don’t know. Apparently I have a communication problem.

You saw a psychologist?

I bump his shoulder.
Not that kind. The doctor said.

Your tongue?

I guess.

Jack presses his lips to my forehead before writing again.
You’re beautiful.
I nudge him in the ribs, but he holds my hand still.
I’m serious.

I know he is. And the thought that he thinks I’m beautiful warms me and even helps shrink the pit in my stomach. If only my father could see the good things in me the way Jack can.

Jack lets go of my hand and traces a finger down my cheek to the corner of my mouth. Then he presses his lips to mine so softly I could just be imagining it. I fall asleep with his warm breath in my hair and his fingers laced through mine.

Nell, Red, Jack, and I sit in the chairs by the medical attendant’s desk. Nell and Red have both left their wheelchairs behind. It’s amazing what two days of decent food, rest, and no loyalty serum will do for your health. Nell’s eyes are sharp, the way they were the first time I met her in the settlement, and Red has already started filling out.

We each hold our set of clothes we were wearing from the Burn, and the medical attendant is going through the checkout procedure on her tablet.

“Item three. The keypads next to the door of your quarters have already been programmed to recognize your handprints,” she says, pausing to look up and smile at us. I wonder if she has a quota of smiles she has to meet each day. I shouldn’t think it—she’s been nothing but kind to us—but her demeanor is just such a contrast to what I’m used to. Funny how I was accustomed to this not even a year ago, and now it’s foreign all over again.

Her sweet voice continues until Red clears his throat. “Miss?”

She keeps going.

“Miss?”

Her eyes take a second to focus on him. She smiles. “Yes, Red?”

“How many more of these items are there?”

She scans her tablet. “There are ten items total. Did you need something or shall I keep going?”

Red sighs and leans back in his chair, and Nell pats his knee. “No, no. Keep going.”

The medical attendant turns her eyes on all of us one at a time, her lips turning higher. Her singsong voice continues, and Red folds and unfolds his hands. Then he crosses his legs and a minute later recrosses them. He checks the clock on the opposite wall. I understand his fidgeting. He wants nothing more than to be out of limbo and into a real life. I think another day of this would have driven him insane.

“Terra?”

My head snaps up. How many times has she been saying my name? Jack chuckles behind his hand.

“As soon as you’re released from quarantine, you’re to report to the medical area for a last exam.”

My communication problem, no doubt. I shake my head.

“Is it a problem, Terra?” The medical attendant checks her tablet. “I can reschedule the appointment if necessary.”

I wave my hand. No, it’s not a problem. That’s the whole point.

She drones on for another minute, and then we’re free. Red stands, stretching his legs and his arms like he’s waking up from hibernation. Nell’s eyes are shining as she watches the medical attendant open the door. It slides back with a hiss, and outside, people are coming and going. A few glance over as they pass by, and Nell clutches Red’s hand.

“Is it possible?” she whispers. She takes a hesitant step.

Red stoops to kiss her cheek. “Let’s go. I feel like we’re on that honeymoon we never got to have.”

“Would you like help finding your quarters?” the medical assistant asks, hugging her tablet to her chest and smiling. Looking at Nell and Red, I can’t help smiling either.

“No, no. I think Terra could show us around.”

I nod. I’d like nothing more than to spend a few hours with them outside of these few rooms. We walk out the door.

“Terra!”

Mr. Klein’s rich, warm voice greets me as I step outside quarantine. He’s leaning against the opposite wall and stands as soon as he sees me, running his hands to smooth the creases in his pant legs. I rush to hug him.

It’s an awkward moment as I clasp his back and he pats mine. Before I never would have dreamt of hugging a teacher. But he got me to the Burn. I always thought of Gaea as the one getting me there, giving me the supplies and the sub and the directions. But I never would have found Gaea if Mr. Klein hadn’t pointed me in the right direction. He fed my love of the Burn. I never really realized how grateful I am to him.

He pulls back and grips my shoulders, holding me at arms’ length. His eyes look deep into mine, and I’m not sure what he’s looking for. I hold my own, afraid to blink. Finally he lets me go and nods.

“You’re happy.” It’s not a question.

I nod. In a strange way, I am. If someone were to look back on the turn my life has taken, they might seriously doubt my sanity to consider me happy. But I am.

His voice drops. “Gaea told me the price you had to pay. I’ve told her it was too much. I’m sorry. And I think she is too, every day.”

I look at my feet. I still haven’t wrapped my head around the whole idea of my mother and being in such close proximity to her.

Jack steps next to me and shakes Mr. Klein’s hand. “Nice to see you again, Rint.”

He nods. “You too, Jack. You want to come to my office and talk, Terra? I have so many questions for you.”

I shake my head. Jack helps me out.

“She has an appointment with medical first.” Jack turns to Nell and Red. “Why don’t I show you where you’ll be living?”

“Mind if I come to medical with you, Terra? It’s not anything involved, is it?” Mr. Klein looks a little embarrassed to be asking, but I’m sure he doesn’t want to spend a minute away. Not with someone who’s been to the Burn and back.

I don’t mind at all. I’d rather have someone with me—someone I trust—than be in there alone while they try to solve my ‘problem.’

Mr. Klein waits outside while the doctor performs a few last tests, and then he comes in and sits down in a chair. I’m glad I have Mr. Klein with me because my blood starts to boil as soon as the doctor says, “Voice box.”

Mr. Klein stands beside me while the doctor returns with a device in his hands. It’s a sleek silver card on a clear strip of plastic. It’s a thousand times more sophisticated than the voice box I used in the labor camp, but it’s still a voice box, and I want to fling the thing away from me. I scoot back on the exam table and hold my hand out to say,
Stop. Don’t let it near me.

Mr. Klein frowns. “What’s wrong, Terra?”

I shake my head. I don’t want to even touch the thing. I won’t be reduced to a machine here in the colony, a place I used to call home.

“You don’t want the voice box?” Mr. Klein asks, confusion wrinkling his forehead as he exchanges glances with the doctor.

No.

“Why?”

Oh the reasons would take far too long. I put my head in my hands. He pats my back awkwardly.

The doctor steps forward. “I can assure you it’s perfectly harmless. It simply senses the vibrations in your throat and vocal chords—”

I know.
Oh, heavens do I know. And I also know the way it makes me sound like an automaton.