The Siren (23 page)

“Oh! No, Kahlen, no. This is coming out wrong. What I mean is that I don’t want you to miss out on whatever life you had. It was obviously something special, and you must have been special, too. I think Akinli is great, don’t get me wrong. I love him like a brother. But to decide so quickly that you’d rather not bother with trying, and just stay here in a tiny room and date a fisher… it just seems hasty. And just because no one has shown up
yet
doesn’t mean they won’t. We might not be able to keep you here anyway,” she explained.

This sounded genuine. She wasn’t afraid I’d rob her blind. She thought I would eventually leave, either by choice or force, to go to wherever I had been. She was right… partly anyway. In the hours while Akinli was still asleep I had made my plan. If I could convince him I was at least eighteen, which I was, we could legally be together— date, get married, whatever he wanted. I could stay with him maybe four years, five if I was lucky. And then, I would “die.” The easiest way would be to fake my own drowning. We were right by the water, and we would be out on his boat a lot. One day, after I had tied up any loose ends with him, I could slip into the water while his back was turned and swim out of his sight or reach.

It would be hard, but the kindest option was death. I couldn’t let him think that I would ever leave him upon my own free will. He would have to know that the only thing that could ever separate me from him was death. And, unless the Ocean could guarantee I wouldn’t have his face in my mind when I left this life, I
would
ask Her to die once I disappeared. The thought of living with the wanting, not knowing who he actually was or how to get to him seemed like torture. I’d had enough of time tormenting me. It would be merciful for the both of us, all things considered.

Of course, he wouldn’t see it that way. To him, it would be the saddest ending. But I thought about my family and Jillian. I thought about the lives they led and how special they were. Isn’t it the last chapter of a book that really makes it worth reading? Every story has to end. And everyone thinks death is a sad way to end a story. But that’s just not true. If it is, we are all just walking tragedies. I flipped to a fresh page to answer Julie.

Maybe one day another life might catch up with me. Or there could be no other life at all. I guess I couldn’t say for sure. Either way, I
choose
Akinli. There are some things you just know. And I know I want Akinli. I hope that will always be a good enough answer: that he’s what I would take over
anything
else.

It wasn’t a long speech, but it filled the tiny page. Julie smiled at it. For her at least, it was a good enough answer. She passed my notebook back to me and cleared her throat.

“So… what happened exactly that got my dress all covered in sand?” she asked peeking over at me.

I didn’t raise my eyes from the section of sink I was cleaning, but I felt my lips curl against my will into a smile and the heat of a blush cover my face.

“Okay! I’m going to get bigger sheets of paper. I need details!”

When Ben and Akinli came back, Julie and I rushed to crumple up all the papers I had filled with paragraphs about Akinli and get them into the trash. I had gone on and on about how strong he was and how I thought he smelled and gave her details that I really didn’t mean to. But reliving them on paper made the moments even clearer for me. As I thought through it all again, I just adored him more and more. I think my attention to all things Akinli made Julie sure about what I had written earlier— he was what I chose. We barely got the last of the pages shoved into our pockets when Ben came through the kitchen door.

“Hey babe,” he said to Julie.

“Hi!” she replied breathlessly.

“What’s going on in here?” Ben’s eyes darted back and forth between us, trying to unravel our secret. As if he and Akinli hadn’t been talking about the exact same thing for at least part of the morning. I’m sure it was absolutely plain to him that we were gossiping.

“Just work, you know. Hard work,” she said, smiling at me. Our smiles grew bigger and hers finally broke into wild laughter.

“What’s so funny?” Akinli asked walking though the door.

“Our girls are being super girly,” Ben said.

Our
girls. I liked the way that sounded. Akinli walked across to me with a smile, kissed my forehead, and said he’d be back downstairs once he washed up. He had been gone for hours, but the thirty minutes it took him to clean himself dragged on and on. Julie lent me nicer clothes than the ones I had been wearing to clean. I suspected she hoped they would have similar adventures as her dress. So did I.

Akinli looked so good when he came down that I didn’t mind the wait anymore. This time, because we were going farther, we took the car. It did smell a little like fish, but that wasn’t something I minded.

We drove past the tiny collection of houses and businesses and churches to leave Port Clyde. The road we were on stretched out forever. I guessed that this might be the only way in and out of town.

“Any of this look familiar?” Akinli asked, apparently noting my curiosity. It was strange. There were metal sculptures in people’s lawns at random. Boats were stuck in sandbars just waiting for high tide to come and rescue them. I kept seeing signs for lobster, as if we didn’t already know how easy it was to get to. And the road just kept going.

I shook my head. It was the truth. I hadn’t seen a bit of this in my life.

“Kahlen, I’m starting to think you had to have washed up on shore somehow. You’d have to have seen some of this if you drove in. I wonder if we’ll ever figure out what you’ve been through. I’ll bet it’s one hell of a story.”

When we finally got to the end of the road, you had to turn left or right. Akinli took a right, and it looked for a moment like we were going to be on another one of these rural roads. But slowly signs of popular civilization started passing by: a fast food chain, a home improvement store, a gas station with more than one pump. We drove on and on, until he hooked around, and I saw the Ocean and yet another harbor. We parked along the street. I turned to look at him, and he answered the question in my eyes.

“Rockland.”

The shops in Rockland were full of afternoon business. This place was obviously a bit touristier than Port Clyde, not that they didn’t have their share of visitors. We looked in a couple of shops before we sat down to a late lunch. Calzones, yum! I was starting to get uncomfortable with him paying for everything. If I was going to stick around, I’d need a job. If I was going to fake a death in a few years anyway, it didn’t matter if I got legal documents. Maybe I could give them to Elizabeth once I didn’t need them— we looked similar. He drew me back from these thoughts by apologizing about the venue he chose not having cake. They did have ice cream though, and locally made. That would do.

When we finished our lunch, Akinli got up to get us some of this local ice cream. It took a while since the building was now packed with an afternoon rush. There wasn’t a single open table anymore. Akinli came back with a giant waffle cone full of ice cream. I had decided on two flavors I’d never tried: eagle tracks and caramel almond. Interesting combination.

“Is it good?” Akinli was messily making his way through a pile of ice cream even bigger than my own.

I nodded fervently. We’d have to come back here. There was a tiny ice cream shop in Port Clyde that had local ice cream, too. I would have to try every flavor at both places now. It was so well-made.

The door opened, ringing a bell, and an elderly couple walked in. I felt a gust of summer air interrupt the air conditioning around me. They looked around, searching for seats, but there were none to be found. The lady looked disappointed. They were both sweating and obviously tired. It was a bit on the hot side— I could tell because Akinli had beads of sweat on his forehead— but it was nothing I couldn’t take. An older body, however, like the bodies of this couple, might have been seriously bothered by it all. It looked like they were about to turn and leave when I heard my favorite voice speak up.

“Here you go, ma’am.” Akinli stood. “We’re all done.”

I followed him immediately, proud to be with a man who knew how to treat a lady. Not just me, but any lady.

“Oh, bless your heart, dear. Are you sure?” the lady asked.

“Yes, ma’am. We were just about to get out into some of that sunshine,” Akinli said, making it seem divine that someone would come along and help us go faster.

“Too warm for me,” the gentleman commented, winking at me. I smiled back. What a cute couple.

“Well, then, you two enjoy some ice cream. That’ll help,” Akinli suggested as he ushered me towards the door. “Have a nice day.”

The old woman snagged my arm just before I exited. “He’s a keeper,” she whispered in my ear. I smiled as brightly as I could and nodded in agreement, stepping out into the sunlight.

“What was that about?” Akinli asked before taking another bite of his cone.

I just shrugged innocently.

“You keeping secrets from me?”

I took a bite of ice cream, being coy. It was fun to flirt with him knowing I didn’t have to worry about whether or not he actually liked me.

“You can try all you like, but I’ll get to the bottom of everything, Little Miss Kahlen. Remember that!” He used his free arm to pull me close and kiss my forehead. It was a cold, sticky kiss.

I wondered if he
would
get to the bottom of everything. I’d need to talk to the Ocean and soon. If She could keep Her secret for who knows how many years from the entirety of humanity, surely She would know how to help me keep it from three people. I worried that Her wisdom might include me leaving Akinli. I couldn’t do that. Not anytime soon.

And though Akinli was a bright boy, he wasn’t the kind to believe in the nonsensical. I wouldn’t speak, and I’d look the same as I do now for the duration of our life together. Maybe I’d have to find a way to explain my absences every year or so, but that would be the worst of it. None of that, in my head, pointed to the stuff of fables and legends. This was doable, no matter how much of a snoop he may be.

He had brought along my notebook, grabbing it from the kitchen as we left. We didn’t use it too much. Our silences weren’t uncomfortable. We were at home with one another, with or without words. He hadn’t actually said it yet, but it felt like Akinli had told me he loved me several times. I didn’t let those count though; I held out for the real thing.

We threw away the last of our napkins, and he looked me over.

“You are living a borrowed life,” he said.

I felt my body contract. I’d been saying that same thing since the very beginning of my sentence.

“Look at you: borrowed food, borrowed bed, borrowed clothes. We need to get you something that’s all yours.” This was all too close to home, but he didn’t see my terror, just my confusion. He scanned the shops. “Where to? I’m getting something for you to keep.”

I shook my head, but he insisted. When Akinli made his mind up about something, he was all but impossible to dissuade. I looked up the line of shops in front of us. Toy store? No. Something there would be fun, but impractical. Clothing store? Maybe. Julie’s stuff fit almost perfectly, so it’d be better to wait until I had my own money. Jewelry store? No. Too expensive, and I didn’t know anything about jewelry. And then, a store that said “Coffee and Books.” Yes! I pointed to the shop, and Akinli looked pleased.

“Great choice,” he said.

We walked in the store, and I was sure I’d made a good pick. The front half of the building contained a collection of tables for people to sit and drink and read. In the back, there was a maze of used books. The shelves wound around and were full of other bargain hunters. I searched for the children’s section. Not only were these books generally less expensive, but most of the time, the words that adults need to hear the most are hidden in children’s books. The beauty of that is that most children need to have the words read to them. It works out for everyone.

It took me a long time to settle on something. I wanted to get Akinli’s opinion, but he’d vanished. I guessed he went to find a more manly section to browse. I went through book after book. If I was only going to get one, it’d need to be a good one. I decided to ask him for
The Giving Tree
. Maybe he would read it to me later if I asked. It took me at least twenty or thirty minutes to decide. I had a really hard time focusing around books. Just as I made my selection, Akinli came around the corner.

“Did you pick one?” he asked, looking very excited.

I handed him the book. He looked it over, pleased with my choice.

“Nice.”

He bought me my book, and on the ride home, I kept taking it out of the bag and hugging it. He was delighted to see me enjoy it so much. I really hadn’t thought about what it meant that I didn’t own anything anymore. For decades I hadn’t had to go without anything I needed or most of the things I wanted, but I felt a pulse of satisfaction at knowing one little thing on this whole planet was truly mine. I thought of my cherry dress, the one that I destroyed in the Ocean. I had forgotten that She’d gotten me that, or at least made it so I was able to. I wondered if She was feeling guilty or worried now. As we drove, I started working out the conversation I’d have to have with Her soon.