The Tapping Solution for Weight Loss & Body Confidence (33 page)

Celebrate Every Small Step

Many of us have fallen into a pattern of waiting for “results” before we allow ourselves to celebrate, but a crucial part of enjoying the journey is noticing and celebrating our progress. We can’t hold off celebrating until we’ve lost our first 20 or 50 pounds; we have to celebrate each and every small victory along the way.

Donna experienced this when she had her first breakthrough during my class. One day while working at home, she felt munchy and spotted a bag of chocolate candies in the fridge that her teenage son had left behind. She was surprised her son had done that because Donna was notorious in the family for having little self-control around chocolate. But this time after eating a few pieces, she realized that the candy didn’t taste good to her. Then she realized that she wasn’t actually hungry at all. Without any struggle or regret, she returned the bag of candy to the fridge, feeling no desire to eat more. It wasn’t until later that the magnitude of that moment hit her. As she said, “This would
never
have happened before.”

For Donna, this was a huge moment and she was proud of herself. The more we celebrate the small shifts, the more shifts we feel comfortable making and the more we enjoy the process. Physical changes may take time, but as the old saying goes, “Time flies when you’re having fun.”

Conclusion

D
uring my class as women share their experiences with one another, I often hear them say, “I thought it was just me.” They’re amazed by how much they have in common and how many similar experiences they’ve had with food, weight, exercise, and much more.

Because we have felt so much pressure to be perfect, we often isolate ourselves from other women who could support us. That holds us back on our journey because, as we’ve seen, what we need is not more struggle but more love and support. When we’re on this journey toward weight loss and body confidence, we need to know that no matter what we are going through, there are many other women who feel what we’re feeling.

As I see over and over again in groups of thousands of online students, when we’re willing to be honest and open with one another, we realize that we aren’t so different. The more open we can be about how we really feel, the less shame we have. I’m not talking about sitting around in a circle singing “Kumbaya,” or the other extreme of sitting around complaining to each other. I’m talking about allowing ourselves to be real and compassionate toward one another.

As one student shared, “This group provides something I have been looking for for 54 years—acceptance. It is so powerful, and it helps me accept and love myself. It is safe to ask for help, and no one has told me to try harder or suggested that what I bring to the table is not enough.” Having a skewed relationship with food and body image is a lot more common than each of us thinks. The good news is that with tapping, we have a tool to address it.

When we’re able to accept ourselves and our feelings, we can open up about our struggles and seek out like-minded community and support. Instead of standing back, let’s come together and wholeheartedly offer each other encouragement.

Weeks after my online class ends, women continue to post on Facebook and cheer each other on. This kind of support is incredibly powerful and often has ripple effects throughout their lives. They often find themselves meeting new people outside the group as well and receiving new support. Whether or not you’re part of an established group or network that can support you in this journey, I encourage you to stay open to the possibility of receiving support from others as well. It often happens in ways and at times you don’t expect.

While running a 5k with my mom one day, I had a great reminder about the power of community support. As I was approaching the finish line, I was blown away by the excitement and enthusiasm of the crowd cheering all of us runners on. It was an incredible feeling. I was tired, but hearing the cheers gave me the extra fuel I needed to finish.

Once I was done running, I took a spot on the sidelines to cheer other runners on for a moment and then doubled back on the race route to cross the finish line a second time with my mom. As we crossed, the crowd’s cheers were just as strong and just as loud as they had been the first time. I didn’t know most of the people in the crowd, but I felt like I did. Their support had transformed a good race into a wonderful and inspiring experience. It was such a simple but profound reminder about the power of community. We all need support. I, for one, am cheering you on!

I Thought This Was a Weight Loss Book?

My favorite comment of all time came from a student in my online course who wrote, “Thank you, Jessica, for tricking us with the title of this course. What I think you were really creating was a movement for empowering women to transform our lives, get our energies flowing, strut our stuff, make the world a better place, and fall in love with life … with the helpful side effects of losing weight and living longer, happier, healthier lives! And I am so grateful!!”

My eyes filled with tears when I first read this because it captures so perfectly why I do the work I do. We’re women. We can’t compartmentalize our lives. So often, when we want nothing more than to lose weight, what we actually need is to stop trying to lose weight and simply start living.

The most powerful way I know for you to lose weight and feel great in your body is to use tapping to clear your limiting emotions and beliefs so you can start listening to your inner voice. It’s time for you to start caring about what you think, so yes, go ahead and try that tango class, ask for a raise, and say no to people who drain you. Whatever your heart and body are telling you, it’s time to listen. To experience all the incredible benefits of this process, you must take the time to do the tapping. This process doesn’t work if you don’t make tapping a priority in your life. Even just ten minutes in the morning can be enough to transform your entire day.

This journey is not about food and it’s not about exercise. While the journey can and should include positive and empowering changes in both of those areas (and many others), those changes need to happen as part of a larger and more important process if they’re going to lead to long-term body confidence and weight loss.

We know we’re fully immersed in the journey when instead of dreading movement, we exercise because it feels so good to do it. When instead of counting calories or shaming ourselves for eating something “bad,” we find we’re eating more fresh and wholesome food because it’s delicious and it nourishes us in body and soul. When instead of hiding in the shadows, we take care of ourselves and delight in the pleasure that surrounds us. We know we’re succeeding in moving forward in our journey when we allow ourselves to look and feel beautiful and share our many gifts with a world that needs nothing more than for us to shine brighter and brighter every single day.

From this place we can be loving and open, ready and able to adapt to change. From here, we don’t need things to always stay the same or feel easy. We know our bodies will change as the years pass just as we know that our hearts will expand and our gifts will deepen. But from this new home inside ourselves, we no longer fear these changes. Because we have come to deeply love and accept ourselves, we can savor the ride and feel grateful for the bumps we encounter, knowing that they’re here to remind us of what we must not forget: that life is happening right now, and that we can and must delight in it and love ourselves just as we are now.

It’s not about the weight; it’s never been about the weight. This is about your life, your power, and the courage to shine.

Resources

I
’d like to share some books and resources I have enjoyed while on my own journey to weight loss and body confidence. Many of these I have referenced within the book.

The Art of Extreme Self-Care: Transform Your Life One Month at a Time,
by Cheryl Richardson
The Biology of Belief: Unleashing the Power of Consciousness, Matter, and Miracles,
by Bruce H. Lipton, Ph.D.

The Blood Sugar Solution: The UltraHealthy Program for Losing Weight, Preventing Disease, and Feeling Great Now!,
by Mark Hyman, M.D.

The First 30 Days: Your Guide to Making Any Change Easier,
by Ariane de Bonvoisin
The Gabriel Method: The Revolutionary Diet-Free Way to Totally Transform Your Body,
by Jon Gabriel
In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto,
by Michael Pollan

Mind Over Medicine: Scientific Proof that You Can Heal Yourself,
by Lissa Rankin, M.D.

Mindless Eating: Why We Eat More Than We Think,
by Brian Wansink, Ph.D.

Remembering Wholeness: A Personal Handbook for Thriving in the 21st Century,
by Carol Tuttle
Salt Sugar Fat: How the Food Giants Hooked Us,
by Michael Moss

The Slow Down Diet: Eating for Pleasure, Energy, and Weight Loss,
by Marc David
The Tapping Solution: A Revolutionary System for Stress-Free Living,
by Nick Ortner
Women, Food, and God: An Unexpected Path to Almost Everything,
by Geneen Roth

Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing,
by Christiane Northrup, M.D.

You Can Heal Your Life,
by Louise Hay

For a full list, direct links, and bonus material you can go to
www.TheTappingSolution.com/resources

Acknowledgments

“T
hank you” are two little words that can never express the depth of my gratitude for the countless people who have helped this book come to life and supported me throughout this journey.

Thank you to my brothers, best friends, and business partners, Nick and Alex. You tease me enough to keep me grounded while always standing by me and blowing wind in my sails. Nick, I am where I am today because of your love, unshakable faith, and crazy ideas. You never let anything distract you from your sincere passion to make the world a better place. You inspire me every day. Alex, none of this would have been possible without your brilliant mind and loving heart. You breathe life into ideas that are changing lives, all while doing movie impressions that leave me laughing until I’m wiping tears from my face. I look up to both of you not because you’re my big brothers but because you’re incredible human beings.