Friday, October 17
Laying their plans
Fifth, Sixth, Seventh, Ninth and Tenth, Tsur Selkie, and Squad Two arrived while I was having my eye patch removed yesterday morning. They mostly bunked on the
Litara
, but the Setari building periodically overflowed.
There were only had two things on my personal list of things to do that day: visit Eeli and ravish Kaoren. Since Kaoren had planning meetings scheduled for much of the day, the first seemed easier to accomplish than the second, and I asked Mori and Glade to take me over.
Ista Tremmar was standing by Eeli's sense-bed when we arrived, and Mori asked her if there'd been any improvement.
"Not yet," Ista Tremmar said. "With head injuries of this nature, there's not a great deal we can do initially except relieve the pressure. When the swelling has gone down, I'll have a clearer prognosis."
Eeli was hooked to a machine to keep her breathing. That gave me a jolt, and I found myself only able to look at her in glances. Pale, still, somehow too small for Third's string bean of energy. I pulled up a chair and picked up her hand, but it was limp and clammy, like the kittens Mimmet had had too early. I put it down carefully.
"Eeli barely seems herself when she's not moving," Mori said, her voice thick.
"The perpetual motion machine," Glade said, small and shocked.
"I–" I took a breath so my voice was steady, then said: "I'm just going look for something."
I expanded my senses, pushing out. It's easy to do now, at least when there's lots of people around. Little points of life, with fainter hazes for plants, and the Setari bright blazes. I kept looking, pushing out, until I noticed a new bright blaze next to me. Kaoren.
Pulling back to myself, I took another steadying breath then opened my eyes, and wiped them.
"Sorry," I said. I tilted my head back so I could see Kaoren. His face was closed, grave. "You can tell, can't you? That she's not there."
He nodded.
I made myself pick up Eeli's hand again, so strange and wrong, and pressed the back of it to my cheek, just for a moment. Then I got up and hugged Mori, who was crying, touched Glade's arm and let Kaoren take me away.
We went to the top of the Setari building, and sat on a bench beneath fresh green leaves. I didn't try to speak for a long time, till the blow was something manageable.
"Does Taarel know?" I asked, eventually.
"Only that it's unlikely she'll recover," Kaoren said. "Sight is not an absolute in these cases."
"Eeli would hate so much missing out on seeing Taarel with hair cut short." My voice wobbled, and I stopped, then curled my fingers tighter through Kaoren's, leaning into his side. "Nils told me most frightening thing about me is I could bring people back."
Kaoren's horror was clearly transmitted everywhere we touched. He drew a breath.
"Don't worry," I said. "I know – I think she wouldn't want that. I know you wouldn't. I'm not sure if–" If Kaoren died, I have no idea how I'd react, but I like to think I would be strong enough not to make a copy of him. "I guess it's really not that different from making projections living people," I said. "Even projecting only the part of Eeli which isn't there. But it wouldn't last and it wouldn't be real. And that would make it worse than awful."
Kaoren stayed with me for quite a while, attending the strategy meeting virtually. I didn't feel babysat, just supported, and the way Kaoren had instantly been called out of his meeting to be with me feels like good sense when a few months ago I might have resented being treated as a so-fragile flower. The moment when it occurred to me that I could try to 'fix' Eeli gave me a better appreciation for why the Nuran Setari are dubious about me, and why there's an entire team of lawyers trying to draft an interplanetary agreement on what I'll be permitted to do.
I really don't want to know what the Cruzatch want me to do.
It was necessary to talk Kaoren out of keeping Fourth at Pandora, though. It's not that I don't want him here, and aren't just a little worried about sleeping without him – not to mention having to struggle with the spectre of him in Eeli's place – but I've seen how useful his Sights are in combat. Taking control of Oriath is important, and I want them to have every chance of coming through that battle without any more injuries.
Fortunately I managed to control myself overnight, replaying the otters visualisation, and only having one minor nightmare near dawn: nothing to give anyone reason to second-guess or change all the planning from yesterday. All the squads on Muina, including parts of Eighth, have gone, with considerable air support. The ships will be at the attack site soon, and they want me to visualise just before they arrive so they know how the Cruzatch react. Given the length of the visualisation, and the fact that I'll be in real-space, I'm almost certain to pass out after that, though I'm going to try and stay awake.
I'm really glad Siame's here. I'm sure she's worried about Kaoren as well – and she's not going to stop disliking me any time soon – but she's really helped me keep the atmosphere upbeat with the kids. They're tense, of course, but Siame's certainty that KOTIS is well prepared to take Oriath makes a big difference.
Saturday, October 18
Timing is everything
I'd tried valiantly to stay awake. My minders for the projection were Taarel and Sefen from Third, both of whom were just wounded enough to be disqualified for the attack, and spent their time tense and tightly controlled because they really wanted to be with the attack force, and are so angry and upset about Eeli. But Taarel stepped me effortlessly through the projection, and obligingly took me back to my apartment afterwards, where I promptly fell asleep on the couch, right in the middle of the battle.
But Siame was right to be confident, and the Setari rolled right over the dozens of Cruzatch waiting for them.
The battle was over almost as soon as it began, and Phase Two – establishing a defensible position – swung into operation. My sleep was occupied by an awareness of Siame giving Ys and Rye a basic combat exercise while Sen watched. Then Siame went out of the apartment – to get dinner apparently – and as soon as she was gone Lira was standing next to me. And my energy-use readings kicked up to 'dangerous', alerting medical.
Sen made the chirpy little noise she uses half as greeting and half as question – she's always willing to treat newcomers as potential friends. Ys and Rye's reaction was far less welcoming – Rye even took on a correct combat stance – but they're smart kids and we had told them about Lira, so after a pause Ys said: "You know that you make her sick when you use her to come here."
Lira looked immensely offended, and glanced down at me in an angry, dismissive way which I suspect was a disguise for guilt.
"Are you three her sisters and brother?" she asked then. "And that older one?"
"Siame is Kaoren's sister," Rye said. He's always very careful and correct about our relationship, and his voice wobbled a little when he added: "We are Cassandra and Kaoren's wards."
"Sweetheart!" Sen announced happily, snuggling herself between me and the back of the couch. "Ys, Rye, Sen," she added, pointing to each in turn, ending up with: "Lira."
Lira looked like she'd bitten a lemon, but turned back to Ys: "Is it true what he said? Has Nuriath fallen?"
"Hundreds of years ago," Ys said, bluntly. "Most people died straight away. Some survivors went through the Ena to different worlds and for a long time no-one lived on Muina at all, because something would kill them. Then Cassandra came and made it possible for people to live here, and they built this settlement, which is called Pandora. But whatever happened long ago is causing the walls between the Ena and real-space to tear apart, and there are Ionoth called Cruzatch who keep attacking, and they destroyed the world we come from. They keep trying to kidnap Her."
When Ys decides to talk, she's unsparing. I loved the obvious capitalisation on 'Her'.
"I heard Naranezolen say that they're running out of time. That it's not any more about self-reliance. They need another to work with me or it will be the Tzarazatch," Lira said, distress starting to leak through. "But I don't know for what – I'm not doing anything. Whenever they see me they chase me away. What–"
Ys, surprising me, stepped up and gripped Lira by the upper arms. "You need to stop now. Come back another time, or you'll make Her too sick. She'll help you if she can. She's soft like that. See if they say anything about a big fight today."
After a moment's offended glaring, Lira obediently disappeared. I woke myself, and struggled to sit up with Sen half-sitting on me, and weights of exhaustion attached to my whole body. The apartment door opened to show Siame, Taarel and one of the medics – Rye's response to Lira's appearance had been to immediately contact Siame. She'd brought Taarel and the medic, but they'd held off entering so as not to startle Lira.
"Lira's been observing us," I said, as Ista Mezan gave me a fortifier to drink. I looked at Ys and added: "She waited until Siame left so she could talk to you three."
"Perhaps she feels a link to someone her own age," Taarel said, steadying my hand, which had started shaking enough to slop fortifier down my front.
"Did the attack–?" I began, then choked as she tipped the fortifier down my throat.
"No injuries. They're going on with Phase Three."
Phase Three was finding all the tears into near-space in the area and putting boxes around them, since the theory was that the Cruzatch could only access real-space through the marbles or the tears, but couldn't pass through the unbroken parts of the wall between near-space and real-space. I didn't get any more explanation than that at the time, since I couldn't stay awake any longer. I guess it was Taarel who changed my clothes, and she was nice enough to put me in my own bed rather than parking me in medical. I was conked out for about fourteen hours – a stretch which made Sen coming and climbing on me rather perilous for my bladder.
Of course, now I'm awake, Kaoren's asleep, though he sent me an email telling me everything which had happened. It was a fast fight, but the Cruzatch kept coming back until the last of the nearby tears was boxed in. They're remaining on high alert.
I don't like Kaoren being away, but funnily enough I find Siame's presence almost as comforting as the kids do. She's just as habitually in-charge as Kaoren, and Kaoren's absence means she feels free to organise me. And watching Ys stubbornly ignore her and organise herself, Rye and Sen is highly amusing.
Wednesday, October 22
Zilla
The day after we took Oriath, I spent a morning medical chatting to Kaoren, asking him questions about the battle and describing the cloud of happiness Rye had been floating around on because Kaoren had told him 'well done' for contacting Siame so promptly. When I'm in-quarters the kids come and have lunch with me rather than sticking at the school, and we were sitting in a circle on the floor around our coffee table/dining table experimenting with the latest products of the culinary division, who spend their days in a state of bliss with a whole new world of food to play with.
I was feeling very queer and bothered and couldn't work out why, and found that Sen and Siame were both watching me attentively, and when I asked why Siame said she could see a shadow behind me, and Sen chirped up with "Lira come now?" Since I didn't feel the least bit like sleeping, I contacted Taarel and warned her that I was going to try expanding my senses, and she said that was okay, but told me to remember to use the scanner to record, and she stayed in-channel to watch. I managed to expand my senses fine, but that just made me feel even more queer and bothered, so I tried to create a projection of Lira, and that worked.
She was looking impatient and cross and said: "You are very dull and unnoticing," to me.
I smiled at her. "I know – I'm very bad at being alert. But is nice be able talk to you directly."
"I listened for them talking about an attack, like she said," Lira went on, glancing at Ys. "They were all very annoyed, but also pleased because they'd thought of a good thing to do. It's something about you. I've been trying and trying to tell you." She was highly aggrieved, anger hiding worry.
"Did they give any details?" Siame asked sharply.
"Only that they would stop something from being called. They were very pleased."
I reached out experimentally – it's so difficult for me to move while all expanded – and touched her hand, which felt solid and entirely normal. "Thank you, Lira," I said. "I wish I could find where you are."
I let the projection slip, and came back to myself as Siame was rapping out orders to the kids. The differences in dialect means I'm only translating Lira clearly in retrospect, but we'd all gotten the gist. Siame told us we were to go straight downstairs, to the level which is below ground and easiest to defend. There was an alert flashing over the interface – Taarel had put KOTIS staff on ready status and told the greensuits stationed at the amphitheatre to summon the Ddura immediately.
If I'd been a little less thick, if I'd realised sooner that Lira was trying to communicate, they'd still be alive. Two women and a man, Keeri Nell, Evva Nozen, and Barl Miks. The Cruzatch got them before they reached the platform. All I knew at the time was that as we came out onto the inner balcony, we abruptly shifted from a level two alert to a level five, which covers everyone in Pandora and means there's Ionoth on the loose and everyone's to take shelter.
Taarel came flying abruptly up to our floor, enhanced herself, and dropped us all down to the ground floor, where Bryze from Eighth was waiting. It was not as if Pandora was completely without Setari defenders – there was a Nuran, Mila, and various members of Third and Eighth – five of them not too injured to fight. And quite a lot of greensuits, and mounted weapons at certain key points. But as Tsur Selkie said later, the Ddura had made us complacent.