The Truth About Faking (19 page)

“
Fine,” he says. “Good luck with that.”

He turns and starts walking away, and I can tell he’s angry.

“
Jason…”

But he won’t look back. He goes to his car and gets in, and I watch as he drives away. It hurts. He’s never acted this way toward me, and for a minute, I fight the desire to call him and say I’ve changed my mind.

But I can’t do that. I’ve got to give Trent another chance. I just do.

All week it’s like I’m living out my Trent fantasy. He meets me every day before algebra, and every time he seems happier to see me. I round the corner for class to find his sweet, smiling face leaning against the lockers, and I walk over to have one of our interactions. I don’t really call them conversations since they mostly consist of us smiling and looking at each other. It might not be witty banter, but it’s a definite leap forward.

Jason avoids me as much as possible. I only see him in class, but even then he simply says hello and then focuses on his books or the lecture. It hurts to have him act that way, but I’ve decided it’s for the best. I’m dating Trent now and everyone knows it. Soon he’ll ask me to prom and then he’ll give me his class ring, and eventually all that stuff with Jason’ll just be a memory of a crazy night when I went off the radar. Like one of those lost weekends or something.

That’s another thing. Dating someone who crashes into you and then causes you to act out of character is clearly a sign of emotional turmoil. Now that Trent and I are together, I’ve broken the cycle. I’m being both smart and assertive, and I’m no longer so easily distracted.

But while my personal life is getting on track, things at home have been strained between my parents. Ricky and Mom’s flirty huddle in the gym at the basketball game was the icing on the cake for the gossipy church ladies. And that little pow-wow on the lawn Sunday caused a bit of friction between Mom and Dad. Understandably, if you ask me. I keep waiting for Dad to lay down the law—no more late-night visits from Mr.
Men’s Health
. But he never does.

So the Ricky thing is not over and my anxiety has grown worse now that I know Mrs. Perkins is watching. And waiting. Ricky continues coming over every morning, and he and Mom continue their alternate schedule. Ricky takes the afternoon appointments, which includes Ms. Jackson, and every time I see him, he asks how Mom’s doing. I wish he’d get over her and move on to Trent’s mom already. If he showed her just a fraction of the affection he shows my mom, she’d probably back off. But maybe Ms. Jackson is like her son. Maybe she moves slower and wants Ricky to make the first move. Maybe that’s why she’s divorced—much like Trent had been dumped by Stephanie. Not everyone is as patient as I am.

Friday morning, I’m dashing out the door when I remember to ask Mom for the Denali. Ricky’s waiting when I return to grab my bag.

“
Got your wheels back, biker girl?”

“
Mom’s wheels, but yeah. I’m picking up Trent this evening. Maybe I’ll see you at his house.”

Ricky gives me a strange look. “You’re going out with Trent again?”

“
Yeah. Why?”

“
I thought you were all into the crash boy now.”

I can’t believe Ricky’s keeping up with my dating habits. Why is he always trying to be my dad?

“
I just went out with Jason a few times. Trent’s my guy.”

“
Right,” Ricky seems distracted. “Well, see you later then.”

Sure enough, Ricky’s still at the Jackson house when I get there. He’s unusually preoccupied and doesn’t even make a comment about my corn silk hair or the fact that I’m wearing one of those dresses he says guys love. Not that I mind or anything, but it does make me wonder. Maybe he
is
nervous like Mom said. But why?

He’s all business as Ms. Jackson leads me into the kitchen to wait for Trent, and when she goes over to Ricky, I see him tense. But he tries to hide it.

“
Hi, Sandra,” he says, smiling.

“
Ricky,” she oozes, and I realize Ms. Jackson is not at all like her son. She’s more like Shelly. Hoping for a happy ending.

Ms. Jackson says she’s going to change as Trent comes in and starts rambling around. He smiles when he sees Ricky and me, and he seems comfortable around the target of his mom’s affection. I guess if your parents are divorced, you don’t mind the idea of your mom being overly friendly with other men.

“
Hey, Ricky,” he says brightly.

“
How’s it going,” Ricky walks over to where Trent’s standing, and I watch as Trent reaches into the refrigerator and hands him a bottle of water. I smile. My future husband is always so polite.

“
You want something, Harley?” Ricky asks as if it’s his house or something.

“
No,” I say, and quickly add, “Thanks.” Trent continues to stand by Ricky, and I start to wonder if I should suggest we leave when Ms. Jackson returns.

“
Harley, that’s the prettiest dress!” she says.

Trent looks up and smiles at me. “Yeah, it is.”

“
Thanks,” I smile.

Ms. Jackson continues. “You can tell your mom her replacement is working out fabulously.”

“
Sure,” I say. “She’ll be happy you’re happy.”

“
This one does amazing things with his hands,” she purrs, running a finger up Ricky’s toned arm.

Ew!
I look at Ricky, dressed in black pants and a tank top that puts his hairless, muscular bod on full display. I feel bad for Trent. I know that kind of stuff embarrasses me, but he doesn’t seem to mind. Maybe he feels like Ricky’d be okay to have around or something, like a big-brother type.

“
You ready to go?” I ask.

He glances at Ricky’s face and then turns to me.

“
Yep,” he says, and I’m glad he’s finally moving in my direction.

 “
See ya, Ricky,” I say, feeling a little more generous toward my mom’s former stalker. I can deal with Ricky if he helps Trent out. Maybe keeps Ms. Jackson from searching his room all the time.

He smiles after us. “Have fun.”

We walk out to the Denali, but suddenly Trent jumps back.

“
I forgot my phone,” he says. “Get in—I’ll be right back.”

I close my door and wait. I’m not even sure where we’re going tonight, and despite it all, I can’t keep my mind from drifting over to Jason. He always seems to have everything planned out when we’re together. I smile, but then I stop and shake my head. That’s not right. He just says a bunch of stuff, and then I have to make the final decision. Still… I wonder what he’s doing right now.

Oh, right. Watching Shelly cheer at the game in her short cheerleader skirt and non-boy-cut sport briefs. I bite my lip. Will that tempt my fake ex-boyfriend?
Ugh!
I do not care! Jason can do what he wants.

Just then Trent opens the door and gets in. He seems unusually excited, and I’m encouraged. Maybe tonight will be special.

“
I got us tickets to
Brown Bagging It
!” he announces.

Brown Bagging It
? What? “Another movie?”

I can’t hide my disappointment. I was hoping for dinner or even a walk in the park. The Shadow Freeze would at least give us a chance to talk, gaze into each others’ eyes.

“
I remembered you said comedies were your favorite,” he says.

“
That was Shelly.”

“
It was?” he frowns.

“
I thought we might do something… where we could talk or something.”

“
But I already bought the tickets online.”

“
Oh,” I look down. “Well, that’s okay. I like movies, I guess.”

I’m so frustrated. We arrive at the theater and Trent stops at the counter to purchase the biggest bucket of popcorn available. It is literally the size of an infant, and after we find our seats, he puts it right between us. No chance of us holding hands with the baby in the way.

I look straight ahead and watch the dumb actors say their dumb lines. And the whole time I keep noticing a light flicker as Trent checks his phone on the other side of his leg. I guess he thinks he’s being slick hiding it down by his thigh like that, but it’s like a spotlight in here. Who is he texting on our date again?

The movie finally ends and we walk outside. I don’t even bother trying to discuss the film, since he obviously didn’t watch any of it. We get in Mom’s car, and I’m ready to take him home.

 “
Are you tired?” he asks.

“
I don’t know,” I say.

“
Well, maybe we should call it a night then. Don’t want to wear you out.”

“
But we haven’t really done anything.”

“
Well, and Mom might need me to drive her somewhere. Or something.”

Seriously?
I frown. Where is Ms. Jackson going at this time of night? Trent is majorly testing my understanding nature. How can he go from acting so into me at school to completely spacing out on our dates? We can actually
do
something now. It makes no sense.

Am I more attractive under fluorescent lighting? Is it possible he thinks I’m still into Jason? That’s ridiculous. Right? Maybe being more open with my thoughts will encourage him, break the cycle-style. Like Shelly said.

“
I was really happy you asked me out again,” I say.

“
Yeah. I like spending time with you.”

“
I like spending time with you, too.” I smile.

We’re sitting in front of his house, and I decide to go for it. I smile and lean across toward him. Maybe if we have a better kiss, he won’t be so anxious to go home. Maybe he’ll suggest we drive around some more. Maybe find a secluded spot. Our faces are an inch apart. I blink again, and he leans forward and kisses my cheek. Again with the cheek!

“
Night,” he says and jumps out of Mom’s truck.

I exhale and watch him jog to his door. He goes inside and I sit there for a moment feeling like the biggest loser. Makes no sense.

Again, I wonder what Jason’s doing. He’s probably still at the game with Shelly, and here I am alone. Headed home. I look at my watch. The game’s over. But it’s still too early to be home alone on a Friday night.

After parking the truck, I drop my purse on the front porch and kick off my shoes. My bike’s nearby, so I ride it out to the creek. I pedal hard to work off my frustration. Forget Mr. Right. I don’t care anymore. Trent’s a handsome, well-dressed, lavender-eyed dud, and I’ve pushed Jason straight to Shelly. My life is just perfect.

I hop off my bike and leave it at the road, running up the little rise to where the tree sits beside the creek. It’s completely dark, and no one’s here, so I slip off my sweater and unzip my dress. I’ve been thinking about this ever since Truth or Dare. I’m not actually going to skinny dip, but I’m definitely going for a swim. I want to wash all of the bad feelings and broken dreams away and start over as something new. What that means, I don’t know, but maybe I can find out.

I hide my dress and sweater by the tree and jump in the water. It’s warm, and the currents swirl around me. It feels wonderful, and I remember that time Mom and I went to a hot springs place that was supposed to be so great for natural relaxation. This is a little like that, only not so bubbly.

I’m just starting to relax when I hear voices and panic. It sounds like Jason and Shelly. I cannot let them see me here like this. I swim to the bank, but a dark figure is running toward me. I duck and try to hide in the shadows at the edge of the water.

“
Come on, Jason!” It’s Shelly. She’s running, and I can tell she’s planning to do exactly what I’m doing.

“
You know, you shouldn’t jump out of the car like that.” His voice is a lazy complaint, and my eyes narrow. He’s not fighting the peep show too hard. “You could get run over.”

“
How else could I make you stop?” Shelly says.

She’s down at the creek bank now, still in her cheerleading uniform, and I watch as she slips off her shoes.
Crap!
 

“
What are you doing?” Jason says as she starts to pull up her top.

“
Skinny dipping!” She smiles.

“
Wait, wait.” He says calmly. “Are you trying to get us arrested? It’s too early for skinny dipping.”

“
It’s dark. Nobody’s going to see us.”

“
Shelly, this is a neighborhood. People walk their dogs…”

“
What are you? Chicken?”

“
OK,” he says. I slide up in the water and watch as Jason pulls off his t-shirt. Mmm… I’ve seen that chest before. Just then I hear a sound. It’s Mr. House Alarm across the street, and he’s pissed.

“
Hey!” He yells. “You kids better get out of here before I call the cops! I’m sick of you pranksters acting like you can disturb the peace all night!”

Shelly shrieks, scoops up her shoes, and runs to the car laughing. But Jason dashes in the opposite direction toward the creek. Toward me! I shrink back further into the brush.

“
Don’t leave. I’ll be right back,” he whispers loudly. I freeze. How does he know I’m here?

I watch as he pulls his shirt back on and jogs to his car. They drive off, and I stare after them unsure what to think. I wait until House Alarm goes back inside and creep onto the bank. It’s a warm night, so I’m not cold in my wet underwear. Nobody’s around now, so I wait a few minutes, letting myself dry some, before I put on my dress. I do pull my thin cardigan around me, though.

The currents are making their usual, soothing noise, and I try to do like Mom says. Clear my mind and relax. Not worry about things like Trent and whoever he’s been texting that makes him so happy. The fact that he isn’t interested in me, and the fact that I’ve spent a year building a fantasy-life around someone who only wants to kiss me on the cheek.