The Truth About Faking (21 page)

Mom finally comes home around lunchtime. I’m sitting at the table spooning egg salad onto a cracker when she breezes through the door looking distracted. She glances at me and smiles briefly.

“
Hey, honey,” she says. “Where’s Daddy?”

I pointed to his study with my spoon. I wonder if she’s even aware of what’s about to happen at our house. And if she is, whether she even cares about how it affects me. Or Dad.

I watch Pocahontas glide down the hall toward his study, dark hair fanning out behind her. She goes in and closes the door. I can hear the noise of their voices, but I can’t tell what they’re saying. I stand and creep closer, hoping to make out their words. I don’t care if it’s eavesdropping. This involves me.

“
Well, I’m going to have to tell them something,” Dad says.

“
I know, but it can’t be that. I promised.”

“
So why has he been coming here at night then? Why couldn’t whatever he had to tell you wait?”

That’s what I’d like to know.

I hear movement. “Stuart. Do you trust me?”

More movement. “Of course, I trust you.”

Silence. Then Mom again.

“
Ricky’s just young and everything seems so urgent to him. Perhaps it was a little my fault, too. I told him he could call me day or night.”

“
Calling is very different from showing up here,” Dad sounds tired. “It looks like—”

“
It looks like what they’re saying is true.” Mom interrupts.

I feel nervous, and my egg salad isn’t agreeing with my stomach.

“
Harley heard something,” Dad starts.

“
What?”

“
She overheard one of your conversations, and she didn’t understand.”

“
I’ll talk to her,” Mom says.

“
Maybe I should get her now.” I hear them moving toward the door and I jump, hurrying back to my seat in the kitchen. The door to Dad’s study opens and he follows my mom to where I’m pretending to eat lunch.

“
Harley,” he says. “Now that your mom’s here, we need to talk.”

I nod, looking at both of them, wide-eyed.

“
There’s been a certain… development you need to know about,” he continues.

For a second, it’s like he just started speaking Portuguese. “Development?”

“
Ms. Jackson went to Elder Bryant this morning and complained that Ricky has been, well, behaving inappropriately with your mother.”

The spoon drops out of my hand onto the plate with a loud clatter. I jump up and tears fill my eyes. Trent’s mom went to the elders?

“
Harley,” Mom rushes over to me, but I draw back from her.

“
What did she say, Dad?”

“
I don’t know exactly what all she said,” Dad says. “But I guess Ricky’s car was here the other night—it was when her son brought you home. Do you remember that?”

Trent told his mom? I can’t believe it. Even if he isn’t my future husband, I can’t believe he’d betray me like that.

“
Yeah,” I say. “But we didn’t come here. We went down to the creek for a little bit first.”

“
Well, I guess he told her. And I think she confronted Ricky about it yesterday at her appointment.”

I frown, remembering what Ms. Jackson looked like yesterday. I remember what she said about being so pleased with Ricky’s hands. This doesn’t make any sense. Then I think of Ms. Jackson’s expression at the game, her nonstop staring at Ricky and Mom, and the way they were talking and laughing and touching each other, completely oblivious to how it looked. The ladies’ pow-wow last Sunday after church.

“
What did Ricky say?” I ask.

“
I don’t know, honey,” Dad says.

“
Mom?” I glare at my mother. This is all her fault. “You saw Ricky this morning. What does he say?”

“
Oh, sweetie,” Mom’s trying the honey voice on me, but it isn’t going to work. “Ricky doesn’t know anything about this. I think they had some sort of misunderstanding, and—”

“
Misunderstanding?” I interrupt. I’m so sick of all these euphemisms, these bizarre, substitute words. I know what this is about.

“
Try not to worry about it,” Mom says. “Daddy and I have to talk to the elders this evening, and we’ll all decide how to handle it.”

“
The elders are coming here?” This is serious. Dad could lose his job.

“
Just for a chat, honey. Everything’s going to be okay. Your mom hasn’t done anything wrong.”

Avoid the appearance of evil. It’s one of Dad’s favorite sermon texts.

“
Will they ask you to step down?”

“
No,” Dad smiles. “Nothing like that. We just need to decide how to address this, if we even need to include the congregation.”

“
Include the congregation!” I can feel my face turning red. Everyone will know my mom’s been accused of doing something with her student. My mom! I want to crawl under the house and die.

“
Sweetie!” Mom tries to come to me, but I step back again. She purses her lips. “Now, Harley. This is all just some silly misunderstanding like Daddy said. We’ll discuss it tonight, and it’ll be dealt with.”

“
Ricky has got to go!” I shout. “He’s over here too much, and it’s gone way too far.”

“
What’s that supposed to mean?” Mom’s green eyes flash, and all the honey in her voice is gone.

I look down not wanting to meet her eyes. I don’t want to be on their side or believe their accusations. I want to believe her. But she’s made it hard.

“
He’s just over here too much,” I say with less fury.

“
Well, I think you’d do best to keep that opinion to yourself this evening,” Mom says.

Then she spins on her heel and walks back to her room, closing the door. I’m left in the room with Dad staring at me. I feel guilty and small, like I’m the one who’s betrayed the family. How can he not say anything? And if he isn’t worried, is it possible I shouldn’t be either? But he hasn’t heard what I have, and he didn’t see them at the game. And he’s never around when Ricky’s here. Touching my mother or standing around in just a towel.

“
Do I have to talk to the elders?” I ask softly.

Dad shakes his head. “I doubt it.”

His expression is closed, but I can sense a slight bit of annoyance with me. I can’t figure out why he’s angry at me and not her.

“
I guess I’ll go to my room, then.” I mumble and walk away.

This is all Ricky’s fault. Everything is wrong, and it’s all his stupid fault. I know Mom’s way hotter than Trent’s mom, but at least Trent’s mom is available. Why couldn’t he have just tried to not have a misunderstanding with her? Or whatever. Just give her what she wants. This is all just stupid and awful. And Ricky’s fault.

The Session arrives at our house at 7 p.m. Besides my dad, the governing body includes Mr. Bryant, Mr. Bowden, Mr. Lloyd, Mr. Perkins, and Dr. Hamilton. The five men have supposedly spent the day meeting and evaluating whether Ms. Jackson’s accusation is something the entire congregation should be aware of, or whether it’s something that can be handled privately.

Of course, Mr. Perkins had his evil wife talking to him. She already has a big fat problem with someone like my mom being the wife of her pastor. She’s been waiting for something like Ricky to come along. It’s like the answer to her wicked prayers. The fact that Trent corroborated his mother’s story means the elders have to take it seriously. But why would Trent tell his mom Ricky was here? He knows how suspicious she is.

Mr. Bryant starts the meeting. Mom and Dad are in the living room while I watch through a crack in my door. Dad says I don’t have to be in the room if I don’t want to, and I do not want to. It’s all too medieval for me to believe.

“
Well, Jackie, just for starters, Stuart’s not going to be involved in these proceedings. That would be against the bylaws. He can listen, of course, but he can’t speak for or against you in this matter. Do you understand?”

“
Of course, Paul,” Mom says. I can’t tell if she’s nervous or not. She doesn’t seem to be. She almost seems bored with the whole situation.

“
Are you aware of the accusations made against you by Sandra Jackson?”

“
I guess,” Mom says. “She thinks I’m sleeping with my student?”

Five throats clear loudly. “Well, I don’t know if she’s come out and said
that
,” Mr. Lloyd answers. “I think she’s concerned that you’re headed down a dangerous path with this young man.”

“
Dangerous path,” Mom repeats.

“
Apparently he expressed… feelings for you while he was at her house yesterday.” Mr. Perkins says. “And her son Trent says he saw you in the car with the young man outside your house here last Saturday night around ten?”

Silence.

“
Do you have anything to say in response?” Mr. Lloyd gently prods.

I can see Mom’s face in the lamplight. Something’s going on behind her eyes, but I can’t tell what it is. She isn’t looking at any of the men. Dad’s sitting next to her holding her hand, and I see her lips tighten.

“
How old is Trent?” Mom asks.

“
I’m not sure exactly,” Mr. Perkins says. “Sixteen? Seventeen? Old enough to be taken seriously. Are you disputing his claim?”

“
No,” Mom replies.

Silence. I notice Dad squeeze her hand.

“
Jackie,” he says softly. “Are you going to say anything in your defense?”

I see her look at Dad in a way I’ve never seen before, as if she’s evaluating him. As if there’s a choice she wants to make, but the fact of him being here is making her hesitate.

“
No.” She says softly, still looking at him.

Dad’s eyes lock on hers and the other men let out a collective breath. My stomach lurches.
What is she doing?
 

“
Jackie,” Mr. Bryant says. “You’re not going to let these allegations stand…”

“
These allegations are ridiculous.” Mom drops Dad’s hand and stands up, walking to face the mantle. “And they’re being put forward by an ignorant woman and a teenage boy who doesn’t know what he saw.”

“
You can respond either yes or no,” Mr. Perkins says.

“
To what?” Mom flashes at him. “So far I haven’t heard any evidence of wrongdoing. So what if Ricky came here last Saturday? I’m his mentor, and he had a problem he needed to discuss with me. I can’t help it if Sandra has a vivid imagination.”

“
You do have to consider your appearance, Jackie.” Mr. Perkins sounds like a patronizing teacher. “It is questionable for the pastor’s wife to be in a car with a young man late at night in what looks like… a compromising situation.”

“
Compromising situation?” Mom’s voice rises. “Right in front of my house? In full view of the neighborhood? Where Stuart or Harley or anyone could walk up? Just what kind of a tramp do you and Crystal think I am, Ted?”

Several of the men shift in their seats. Dad shifts and clears his throat.

“
Jackie, just tell them it isn’t true,” he says. “That’s really all the session needs to hear at this point, right fellas?”

“
Well, we are also concerned about a non-repentant spirit,” Mr. Perkins says. “Refusing to hear the church’s discipline…”

My eyes narrow. I might be furious at Mom, but now I hate Mr. Perkins. He knows exactly what he’s doing. And how those words will affect her.

“
A non-repentant spirit?” Mom’s voice is sharp. “And for what am I being disciplined exactly? So far all I’ve heard is a bunch of misguided innuendo.”

“
Jackie,” Mr. Bryant’s deep voice brings a much-needed calm to the room. “We’re not trying to falsely accuse or insinuate anything. We know you. We know Stu. If you can assure us nothing’s going on and agree to… modify your behavior going forward, we can put this behind us.”

Mom’s green eyes are sparking. I know her too well. Mr. Bryant is trying to give her an out, but his choice of words is like pouring water down a cat’s back. He’s allied himself with Mr. Perkins and stupid Mrs. Perkins and all her years of jabs and petty remarks.

“
I’ll have to discuss this with Stuart,” Mom says evenly. “I’m not sure I’m ready to accept those terms.”

“
Jackie—” Dad starts.

She looks at him. “Stuart.”

My dad looks down and then rises from the couch. At that the five men also stand and make preparations to leave. Mr. Perkins adjusts his waistband and makes some comment about getting back to the wife. I can just imagine Mrs. Perkins waiting at the door for the full account of what happened. She’s probably holding her breath, too. She’s finally found something that might stick, something that might put her stupid husband in charge and get rid of my mother for good.

The last elder to leave is Mr. Bryant. He tries one final time.

“
I know this can be frustrating, Jackie,” he says. “But it’s just part of shepherding a growing flock.”

Mom doesn’t even look at him, and I can’t stop staring at her. What has she done? What is this going to mean? By tomorrow everyone will know they came here and presented her with the story, and she didn’t say a thing to contradict it.

 
Dad returns from seeing Mr. Bryant out and sits in a chair. He leans forward and rests his chin on his fists looking straight ahead at the fireplace.

“
I’m sorry, Stu,” Mom says quietly. “I just couldn’t listen to them saying all of those things anymore. A non-repentant spirit?”

Dad lowers his face and rubs his forehead. Mom drops to her knees in front of him and puts her hands on his arms.