The Way We Were (34 page)

Poor Tiggy; despite all her fears for the future, she never imagined for a moment how it would be for her or her baby.

Julia kisses Zack, smooths his downy hair: Zack beams gummily and waves his fists. Smiling back at him she suddenly has the conviction that she is capable at last of separating the grief for the loss of her own baby from her feelings for Zack. There will still be difficult moments, and it will take time to allow the grief to be contained, but she knows now that the words she spoke earlier are true: Zack is their baby, just as much as Charlie and the twins.

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO

2004

Later, Julia telephoned Aunt Em.

‘Listen,' she said. ‘You'll never guess who's been here. Cat … Yes, amazing, isn't it? She said that Andy asked her to bring back the Merlin to check it out, though she was very careful to say that it was probably a copy, not the original … Honestly, it's true … No, it was still in the knitting bag hanging on the chair. I'm afraid to go out now in case she suspects something and is waiting somewhere but I'm probably being silly. She had a very good look round so I don't think she'll come back here. I shall phone Andy and put him off the trail … Yes. I know exactly what I'm going to do but I shall wait until tomorrow just in case Cat's still around … Well, if you could come up that would be great. It'll be a great comfort to have you here. Thanks, Aunt Em. I'll see you in the morning then.'

She put the telephone down. Quite suddenly, talking to Aunt Em, she'd known exactly what she would do with the Merlin. She would drive to Tintagel, to Tiggy's favourite place on the cliff, where they had scattered her ashes, and throw the little Merlin into the sea in full view of the entrance to Merlin's Cave. Tiggy had loved Glebe Cliff, looking away to The Mouls in the west and back towards Tintagel Island.

Standing in the kitchen with Frobisher asleep in his basket, Julia remembered those happy months with Tiggy and the children, and their fear of Angela and their obscure dislike of Cat. Her own mistrust of Angela had been fairly reasonable but the depth of their joint antipathy towards the child, despite her tiresome behaviour, had seemed unfair and they'd felt guilty.

‘I can't think why I felt like that, especially about a child. I just disliked them both on sight,' Tiggy had said after that first meeting when she'd found Cat with the Merlin. Perhaps some sixth sense had warned her that, one day, Cat would be a threat to her own child.

Supposing the newspapers were to get hold of the full story? Supposing those au pairs from Tiggy's childhood should come forward to tell stories of abuse and ill treatment at the hands of their employer? Now she, Julia, and Aunt Em were the only people alive who knew that he'd tried to force himself on his own daughter but she could imagine very clearly Zack's shocked reaction to the whole truth and she felt duty-bound to protect him from the knowledge that his grandfather was something far worse than an art forger. She'd promised Tiggy. Julia shivered: she was deeply relieved that Pete was away; she knew that, in the light of this new evidence, his natural instinct would be to go to some higher authority, to explain the situation and hope that some kind of justice would prevail. Her own instinct, and Aunt Em's, was to act quickly and destroy the evidence. Zack's wellbeing was very much more important to them than abiding by a set of rules and regs that took no regard for personalities. Pete might be happy to stand by Tiggy's wishes that her father was denied access to her son but he'd have drawn the line at throwing priceless works of art over a cliff. Thank goodness that Pete eschewed any kind of communication with the world when he was sailing and probably hadn't seen a newspaper, let alone a television.

She wondered if even Pete would make the connection, though. After all, he'd never known Tiggy's father and she doubted if he'd recall his name; he might recognize the Merlin, of course, but it was difficult to guess just how well he'd remember it. It had probably been in the attic for the best part of twelve years and before that would have just been one item amongst the collection of Zack's toys: the Action Men, the James Bond cars, the aeroplanes. Even so, she was sad that she'd have to keep this secret from Pete. Julia tried to imagine how difficult it would be; she suspected that she'd never feel really secure ever again, always wondering if someone might remember that Tristan Stamper had once had a daughter called Tegan and make connections. How many of her friends might recognize the photograph of
The Child Merlin?
After all, Cat had remembered, although that was probably because it had been the cause of a major scene and had made a deep impression, and afterwards Cat had always made a beeline for it and created a fuss when it was denied her.

Julia dithered: should she take the Merlin now, risking being shadowed by Cat, or should she wait until later? The idea of being out on the cliffs at night filled her with trepidation but so did the prospect of spending the night alone at Trescairn with the Merlin. She wished that Aunt Em was with her.

‘Don't be a fool,' she told herself. ‘Nobody's going to come creeping round. Get a grip!'

Nevertheless, she kept the doors locked and each time she left the kitchen she took the knitting bag with her. She telephoned Andy but got no reply and eventually she left a message asking him to call her. She'd just finished supper when Caroline telephoned.

‘The ETA's been changed and the boat's in later tonight,' she told Julia jubilantly. ‘Great, isn't it? If I haven't popped by Monday we're going to Boscastle to see some friends and we might dash up to see you about teatime. Will you be around? … That's great. Oh, I nearly forgot. It was really odd this afternoon. Andy's girlfriend dropped in. It was a bit embarrassing, actually, because I didn't even know he had a girlfriend. Cat, is it? … She was so friendly and really loved the cottage. Wanted to see all over it. She apologized for giving no warning but she was meeting up with friends in Tavistock and Andy had told her to drop by. She's only down for the weekend, she said. She's driving back to London on Sunday evening but couldn't resist the chance to meet me. Rather sweet, I thought. She's so thin I could have killed her … Anyway, see you Monday afternoon, if all goes well. I'll text you. Bye, Julia.'

Julia rested her elbows on the table and put both hands over her eyes. Quite suddenly she was shaken by a surge of fury how dare Cat go to spy on Caroline, whom she'd never met and con her into showing her round her home? The telephone rang, making her jump; this time it was Andy and she was in exactly the right mood for him.

‘Mum,' he said. ‘Sorry I missed you earlier. How are things?'

‘Things are OK,' Julia answered, ‘but I could do without Cat harassing the family. Perhaps you could do something about it, love.'

A short silence. ‘How do you mean?'

‘I mean that I can't really imagine that you told her to drop in unannounced on me and then make a search of the house for a little statue she insists that you want, nor, when she couldn't find it, to do the same to Caroline, who doesn't know her at all and was expected to give her a guided tour of the house, presumably for the same reason. She's already been to Penharrow and made insinuating remarks to Val about Chris and Liv, which really caused trouble.'

More silence. ‘The thing is,' Andy said defensively, ‘there's been all this stuff in the news about the art fraud and there was a photograph of
The Child Merlin
, and I have to say that Cat's right. It looks just like the one we had when we were kids.'

‘So?'

‘Well, Mum, it might just be that somehow we've got hold of an art treasure, that's all. It could be worth a fortune.'

Julia laughed derisively. ‘That funny little statue you all used to play with? That's just so likely, isn't it! Is that really why Cat came to spy on us all?'

‘I had no idea that she'd come to see you or Caroline,' he said indignantly. ‘In fact, I had no idea she was in Cornwall until she phoned this afternoon to say that if she went to Tavistock she might drop in on Caroline and Zack. She asked what the number was in Chapel Street but it was all very casual. She said Liv had told her they were in Chapel Street. I knew she'd been to Penharrow a few weeks ago but I didn't realize that she'd made trouble for Liv.'

‘And what's in it for Cat? Why is she so keen to lay her hands on this statue that she comes prowling round like a burglar?'

‘I can't think why you all dislike her so much.'

‘Can't you, love? Well, you'll just have to use your imagination and your memory. As for the Merlin, Liv said that you'd mentioned it in an email, and I've had a quick scout round but I think the best thing is for you to come and look for it yourself. It's probably one of a thousand cheap copies of this statue you're so excited about, otherwise we would never have let you play with it when you were children. Can you honestly believe we'd have allowed you to use even a slightly valuable statue as a toy? Liv says you need to get real and I agree with her. Anyway, I suspect that it must have got lost during the move to Washington because none of us can find it. Feel free to come and search. You, not Cat. Will you do that, Andy?'

‘OK,' he said reluctantly, after another silence. ‘But if you're really sure it's just a cheap copy there's not much point, is there?'

‘Not really. And, Andy, keep Cat off our backs. If you can't resist her that's your bad luck. We don't want to know, perhaps because our memories are better than yours. She's always been a troublemaker. She's lied to me and to Caroline, prowled round our houses and nearly got Liv the sack. And don't tell me that she's changed. I've just met her again and I'm not impressed.'

‘OK,' he said again, sulkily. ‘You've made your point, Mum.'

‘Good,' she said lightly. ‘Zack's home tonight and Caroline's about to pop so I'll telephone when I've got some good news. Night, love.'

Julia sat for some moments, still holding the telephone. She hated to pull the heavy mother act, though sometimes it was necessary; but had it succeeded this time? She'd felt it was important to make the point strongly even though it was fairly clear that Cat had been working off her own initiative.

‘Please don't let him be in love with her,' she prayed.

She raised her head, saw her reflection loom at her in the windowpane, and realized with a little shock of fear that it was getting dark. Jumping up quickly, she hurried to draw the curtains, something she never did in the summer. When she let Frobisher out, she hooked the bag on her arm and took the torch. She strayed hardly any distance from the door but stood waiting anxiously until he returned and they both went back inside. Every window was checked, the doors locked before she took Frobisher upstairs with her, the bag still hooked over her arm. How empty the house felt; how silent. Frobisher padded round the room and then settled down at the end of the bed.

Julia bundled the Merlin into the bedside cupboard and undressed, alert to any noise: was that the creak of a floorboard beneath a stealthy foot or simply the wind rising? Quickly she climbed into bed and picked up her book but she was too anxious, and her head was too full of memories, to be able to concentrate.

1977

‘You were right,' Julia says to Aunt Em a few days later. ‘Pete and I have had it out but I didn't accuse him. I waited, like you said, and I didn't say a word about the phone call. In the end it all happened very naturally.' She explains about Angela and the books and Pete's reaction once he'd heard the other side of the story. ‘He was furious,' she says. ‘Something changed in him. Once we'd talked about it properly, not me accusing and him defending like we usually do, it was all different. We were on the same side at last. Honestly, I felt so good, and when Angela turned up I just saw her off. It was amazing. I almost felt sorry for her. I could see exactly what you meant about my fear allowing her to manipulate our marriage. I felt so confident.'

‘But?' prompts Em, seeing her frown.

‘Well, it's nothing really. It was just that, even while I was feeling that new confidence, I had a strange sense that it wasn't all over. But the weirdest thing was that the threat seemed to come from Cat rather than Angela. She was teasing Charlie and Zack and I was afraid for them. Why should that be?'

‘I suppose nothing is ever truly finished,' says Em reflectively. ‘Everyone living happily ever after never actually happens, does it? Our lives continue to unfold; some end, others begin, and our journeys take different directions. Paths cross and recross, and whether we're stuck fast in the Slough of Despond or enjoying the view from the Delectable Mountains depends on which bit of the journey we've reached. Apollyon can appear at any moment and try to drag us back in the Valley of Humiliation. Old Bunyan knew his stuff. Do you remember that he said that there was a way to hell even from the gates of heaven? I suspect that Angela and Cat will continue to impinge on your lives but I believe that you've come through the most difficult stage, Julia. Enjoy the sunshine while it lasts.'

Julia laughs. ‘I'm not sure that I find that particularly reassuring.'

‘It was meant to be. I can't prophesy for the next generation but I feel certain that Angela will never be able to make trouble between you and Pete again. That's a good start. And spring's nearly here. The cold, sweet spring, oh, how I love it.'

‘It's exactly a year since Tiggy came to Trescairn,' Julia says. ‘A
year
. I can hardly believe it. Time passes so quickly. Poor Tiggy. She was only twenty-five. I wonder where we'll be in twenty-five years, Aunt Em. The twins will be older than I am now and Zack will be preparing to celebrate his twenty-sixth birthday. I could even be a grandmother.'