Thirty-Eight Days (33 page)

Those hopeful eyes dug deep into Noel; he couldn’t refuse, even if he didn’t want to. All he could do was nod; he helped Clara up, and he couldn’t resist the urge to kiss her head.

“I’ll be back in a second,” Clara said, setting her handbag back on the table, and walked towards an office by the kitchen. She returned with the iPod dock in her hand, placing it on the bakery counter before plugging it into the socket and searching through Josie’s playlists. When Clara found a slow song to play, she spun around to him.

“It’s either
If I Knew Then
by Lady Antebellum or slow dancing to some crazy techno-house music Josie’s into. She dated a DJ recently and he converted her, but I guess she didn’t lose her country love. Unless you like to dance to techno?” she sarcastically asked.

Noel made his way towards her and took both Clara’s hands. “I’d dance to anything if it means I get to dance with you.”

“Good answer. If I didn’t know any better, I would’ve thought you were trying to sweep me off my feet, Nolan James Parker.” Just the sound of his whole name off her lips made him weak.

“I intended on doing so, Clara
Louise Lawrence,” Noel said as he took Clara’s right hand and brought it to his lips. He placed a kiss on each of her healed knuckles before reaching over her and pressing play on the iPod.

Clara held a tight grip on his heart and he didn’t realise when it happened, but it did. As the slow song started to play, they walked towards the middle of the bakery floor and Noel brought her close to his chest until her head lay over his heart. Where she belonged. He held Clara tightly, afraid to let her go as they swayed along with the song.

To have Clara in his arms and never wanting to let her go made the feelings in him intensify. He looked down to see her eyes close as they got lost into their dance. The lyrics of the song got his attention as he held Clara tight; the words pierced his heart and took his breath away.

As the song started to fade out, Noel realised just how much
this
song hit home for him. Every aspect of the music and its lyrics opened his eyes and his heart. It brought flashes of their time together. From the moment they met again, to the moment they stood on that diving platform and the moment he first kissed her. It was there. It was
always
there.

He thought back to earlier in the night to the moment Clara walked through those doors and the lights came on. The pure sight of her took his breath away, made his heart flutter and hurt at the same time, made his knees weak and his thoughts incoherent. It was in that moment he knew he had fallen
in
love with her, and this song—their first song—had opened his eyes to it.

This one song was the epitome of them. The words of it showing him just how much he loved Clara. The revelation of it didn’t scare him; in fact, it made him hopeful of their forever. She was everything he wanted to be, everything he ever wanted, and everything he ever needed. As the song finished, Clara removed her head from his chest and looked him directly in the eyes.

God, I am so in love with you, Clara.

It wasn’t that she was beautiful that made him love her. It was the innocence to her, the joy in her laugh, the way she looked when she made cupcakes, and the way she fought hard to survive after everything Darren had put her through. The way she forgave Noel and still wanted him after everything that happened between them. It was always there. He would have fallen in love with her at any stage of their time together, but it was the moment she walked in that cemented it for him.

“Noel, can we dance one more time? I don’t want it to end just yet.”

Noel brought his hands to her cheeks and brought her lips to his. His lips lovingly cherished hers. “Of course,” he replied before letting her go so he could replay
their
song.

As Noel turned around to face Clara, he couldn’t believe that the woman he wanted to spend forever with had always been right
there. It was like he always loved her, but it took all of their fighting and all of their troubles for him to realise how much he did. Clara looked at him suspiciously. If only he could tell her those three words, but he knew that it was too soon. He’d tell her, but he feared that being in love with Clara would bring with it the destruction he always hoped to avoid when it came to love.

“You don’t mind us going back to the apartment? I’ll pack up dessert and we can eat it on the balcony?” He wanted to give Clara the one thing he drove all the way to the suburbs for.

“Sure, I’ll wait here while you pack up. Should I start clearing the place out?” Clara asked as she looked at the table.

“Nope. I hired Josie to clean up after us. I’ll just be a second,” he replied as he walked into the kitchen and packed the little peach and tea cupcakes he made for her. It was the first cupcake of hers he ever tried, and planned on it being the first cupcake he ever made for her.

He left Clara sitting on the balcony as he sat on his bed. The drive home was quiet between them. He wanted to speak, but he was scared that he’d just blurt out that he loved her, and that wouldn’t have made things any easier for them. There was a lot riding against them. He knew that. It wasn’t just Alex that could break them; it was his job and where he lived. Boston wasn’t two minutes by car from her apartment. It was miles and miles away; oceans and other countries kept them apart. Noel shook his head. He’d worry about that later, because he knew they were on borrowed time.

Looking at the small box in his hand, he started to feel the suffocating nerves that settled within him. He wasn’t sure if giving Clara the small box was a good idea. When she asked him how he knew all those things about her, guilt rode up him. He’d been a horrible kid towards her when they were both young, but the longer he spent with her, the more he started to remember the good parts of their childhood together. Especially a memory that involved the small box he held.

I hope she remembers.

Standing up, he placed it in his pants pocket, patted his pants twice, and walked out of the bedroom. He stopped in front of the cupcakes on the kitchen counter. Noel thought about bringing them to Clara, but decided that the small box in his pocket was more important than the cupcakes. Walking over to the balcony doors, he saw Clara leaning over the railing, staring out at the city skyline. His heart started to beat faster as his stomach began to knot. He clenched his fists, deciding that he would give her what was in the box. Noel cleared his throat and Clara turned to see him. She looked more relieved than startled to see him.

“Hi,” she greeted. “Thank you for tonight. I know it was probably one of the worst dates of your life, but thank you for not laughing at me.” Clara bit her bottom lip and twiddled her fingers.

“Why would I laugh?” he asked as he walked towards her, only centimetres separating them.

“Because it just shows what a kid I am. You’re probably used to dating more mature women with successful careers who are more experienced in all of this than I am,” Clara explained with a sad tone in her voice.

“Clara, stop. To dance with you and be with you, it was the best date I have ever had. Trust me, please.” The pleading in his voice was strong. He couldn’t help it when it came to her. He felt like he had to fight her when it came to how he felt.

“I have something for you,” he said, trying to change the subject. He didn’t like Clara comparing herself to other women. No other woman could even compete. Digging into his pocket, he took out the small box and presented it to her.

“For me?” Clara asked, sounding so surprised. She eyed the box suspiciously before looking directly in his eyes. Noel offered her a reassuring smile before she started to untie the bow.

Clara removed the lid and froze. The anxiousness in him took over his body and he feared that she wouldn’t remember.

“Do you remember?” he asked as she brought up the small locket.

“This was
my
locket,” Clara breathed out.

Relief flooded his system, dispelling the anxiousness. Noel took the locket out of her hands and looked at it. It had spent many years in a box in his family’s garage, tucked away with his old comics and football jerseys. He looked up at Clara, her eyes wide with disbelief that this locket had made an appearance.

“You see, when I was four my best friend told me that he was going to be a big brother. I was pretty mad because George was a teenager and he never wanted to play with me. Alex and I were practically brothers. One day, I asked George why I was so angry, and he told me I had to accept that Alex was going to be a brother. George told me I had to protect you just like Alex would. So before you were born George took me out to get you a present, one that only we would know about. We looked everywhere, not sure what we were really looking for.

“And then I saw it in an old vintage jewellery store. I wasn't sure what the Celtic knot meant, but when I saw it, I told George to get it. I asked him what the knot on the locket meant, but he told me I’d know one day. Then when the old man took it out of the glass cabinet, I think I smiled so large that he smiled, too. I asked George if you would know it was from me and he said that unless I told you, you wouldn't know because you were just a baby. The old man heard and asked my name. When I told him, he took the necklace and went out the back. He returned to show me the locket. He had engraved an
“N” in the middle of the Celtic knot.” Noel ran a finger over the engraved “N” and smiled at the memory.

Clara’s lips parted and he watched the disbelief consume her eyes. He had surprised her with another memory of them—one that had him caring before she was even born.

“I remember putting it on you when you were a baby. No one really knew where you got it from except for Gran. She told people it was always in the family, and when you were born, she knew it belonged to you. And then the memory got lost as we grew up. You didn't wear it much; maybe that's why I forgot, or maybe you never showed it. Anyway, I started to date Valerie when I was almost fifteen and I remember telling Alex how much I liked her and I wanted to give her something special for her birthday. The next day when I was over to your house you came up to me and presented me the box; the locket was inside, and you told me to give it to Valerie.

“I didn't connect the memories together straight away, but I knew I couldn't give it to Valerie. I couldn’t give it back to you because you had the biggest smile on your face when you gave it to me. I couldn’t break that smile of yours, so I held onto it. I think it was so I could give it back to you and tell you it was
always
yours. The other night I had a dream about George and I getting you the locket, and I knew I had to give it back. That’s what I spent the day doing, searching through my parents’ garage looking for it,” he finished explaining.

Clara’s eyes started to water and he knew she remembered, too. Stepping around her, Noel brushed Clara’s hair to the side as he placed the silver chain around her neck and clasped the locket securely. When he looked at Clara with the locket on, he couldn’t help but see how much it belonged to her. It was never meant for Valerie. He knew that even as a teenager.

“I can't believe you remembered,” she said breathlessly. “I always wondered what that “N” meant, but Alex told me it was vintage, and it probably belonged to someone in the 1920’s with a name that started with N or something.”

Noel felt his heart stop at her remembering.

If I hadn’t already been in love with her already, I’d have fallen in love with her in this moment.

“Kiss me,” Clara said, bringing him back from his thoughts. He looked at her, and he would never find another woman as beautiful as her in his life.

He didn’t have to be asked twice. There was something in her eyes that told him she was grateful. As he placed his palms on her cheek, he looked down at Clara and at the locket. It was
always
meant for her.

“Noel,” she whispered. Their eyes met, and he saw the desire in them. The way she whispered his name was new, and it made his heart stop; the desire laced in his name made him weak.

“I want to go
further
with you.” Clara didn’t look down. Instead she looked directly in his eyes, and he was sure she tore away any wall Noel built when it came to her. He stood there staring into her big brown eyes as she took the air out of his lungs.

“What are you saying, Clara?” he slowly breathed out.

“I want you to be my first,” Clara said as she glanced down at the locket and then him. He lost the ability to breathe, his mouth going dry. He took two steps back from her. Noel searched her eyes, but he didn’t see fear or indecision. Clara frowned at his need for space.

"Clara, I…" She dangled the locket in her fingers. She was thinking, maybe even reconsidering what she said. Clara closed the distance and stood in front of him. She rested her hand back on his cheek and kissed him. It took every ounce of control in him to not be more aggressive and take her then.

She walked them back into the apartment and guided them to the couch, neither one breaking their kiss. Clara’s kiss entwined with need and want, his heart racing and pounding. The back of Noel’s knees hit the couch cushions before she pushed them down, straddling him. When she removed her lips from his, Noel moved the loose strand of hair and put it behind her ear. Her beautiful golden brown eyes drew him further to a point of no return.