Torn (59 page)

“Try me, Ace.”

“I tried you a few times after
that pathetic shower proposal,” he grinned, giving me a wink.

“My beautiful, honest, and
heartfelt proposal, and yes, you did try me. And I won’t object to you trying
me again later, but it looks like you have customers.” I flicked my head to the
bay doors, where someone had just pulled up to the entrance.

“I fucking knew I’d regret buying
this place off JT,” he grumbled, kissing me quickly before letting me go. JT
had decided to retire and had given Nate the first option to buy, and he’d
snapped his hand off, taking on the existing team of mechanics too.

“I know it’s not baseball,” I
said softly, knowing it still pained him that he couldn’t play anymore, “but
you always loved cars, and I’ve got to admit, hot as your ass was in baseball
pants, this look is slaying it.”

“Fresh starts,” he sighed, before
cracking a smile.

“Fresh starts. I’ll be over at
Joelle’s, want me to order your usual?”

“Yeah, give me fifteen minutes
and I’ll see you there,” he confirmed, slapping my bottom.

I made sure I gave it a sexy
shimmy as I sashayed my way out and skipped across the street. When I entered
the diner, there was a chorus of “Hey, Sky” from the staff and most of the patrons,
which made me smile. Who’d have thought I’d come to love this place so much? It
was like a second home to me.

“Usual, doll?” called Rosie.

“Please,” I confirmed, “and the
same for Nate in fifteen.”

She nodded and hustled off to
shout the order through. I looked around, took a deep breath, and walked to the
table at the back of the diner. It was the one that I’d sat at with the three
Hudson boys five years ago today. I slowly ran my hands over its surface,
touching where each of them had touched, and smiled sadly. It was hard to
believe so much had happened since then, and that Josh and Billy were gone. I
closed my eyes and tried to recall our conversations that day, what each of
them had been wearing, eating, and drinking.

“Memories?” Rosie asked as she
set my peach shake down a while later.

“Yeah,” I sighed, giving her a
sad smile.

“Don’t ya’ go getting miserable
on me. I was just getting used to seeing that radiant smile on your face again,”
she warned as she took a seat opposite me. “Ya’ doin’ ok?”

“Getting better day by day,” I
confirmed. “And Nate too.” I held up my left hand with a shy smile and she
squealed, reaching over to grab it and inspect my ring.

“Hey everyone, Nate’s proposed,
we’re gonna have a wedding,” she yelled. I laughed as the diner was filled with
claps and cheers. How could I be sad when I had so much to look forward to,
with the man I’d always wanted? “So, have ya’ll fixed up the details?”

“Actually, we haven’t discussed
it yet, other than he wants to get married as soon as possible, but I kind of
know what I’d like.”

“Share,” she demanded.

“A small service up on the roof
terrace, if we’re given permission, then I was thinking back here?”

“Are ya’ serious?” Her jaw
dropped, but I nodded my confirmation. “But ya’ll have … it’s not like ya’ both
can’t afford a swanky Vegas hotel,” she whispered.

“I know, but that’s not us. This
is us, Rosie, down to earth and simple. This will keep that smile on my face.”

“Plus sexy boy there,” she
grinned, flicking her head toward the door. “Phew, hotter than July in Nevada,”
she chuckled as she scooted off the seat. I looked around and smiled to see
Nate approaching, still in his work jeans, but with a clean white tee on.

“Oh yeah,” I nodded, fanning
myself. “Tell me about it.”

Nate smirked as he headed over
toward me, knowing I was admiring him, but ignoring the four girls who still
sat in the window. They were all married now, with kids, but hadn’t moved on
from panting over him. And I couldn’t blame them. He dipped his head and kissed
me, making me scoot up so he could sit next to me, then threw his arm over my
shoulder. He sighed heavily and rubbed his face with his other hand.

“What’s wrong?” I asked.

“I feel bad for being so happy,”
he whispered. I quickly squeezed his thigh.

“I know, I felt the same way too
when I sat down. We all sat here five years ago to the day. But we can’t change
the past, Nate. It’s not our fault that we’re here and they’re not, no matter
how much we’ve tried to blame ourselves. We’re making a fresh start, a new life
together, and we deserve our happiness. It’s been a long time coming.”

“It has,” he agreed, kissing my
temple. “So, about fresh starts. Let’s talk wedding dates and venues.”

“Actually, I have the very place
in mind,” I smiled. I was thrilled that he loved the idea, so it was just a
case of finding an officiant and choosing a date. “Can we also talk about the
elephant in the room now that we’re engaged?”

“Baby, you can talk about my huge
cock anytime you like,” he whispered in my ear, making me laugh.

“While we’re on that subject, any
chance of those piercings making a comeback?”

“I need the one down there?” he
uttered, looking slightly offended.

“No,” I laughed. “It’s just as
good for me without, you?”

“I’m good too. Thank God, I
didn’t relish the thought of having it done again, or my nipple. But if you’d
like the tongue one back?” he suggested, with a raised questioning eyebrow.

“I’d
love
the tongue one
back.” I felt myself blush and he chuckled and nodded.

“Consider it done. What elephant
are we talking about then?” he asked. I dragged my shake toward me and took a
sip as I plucked up the courage and kept my gaze down.

“I can’t have kids, Nate, and
you’ve never said how you feel about that.” I heard him suck in a sharp breath,
then release it just as fast, while I waited anxiously for his answer.

“Would I have loved kids with
you? Seen your stomach swell with my child inside? Of course I would have, Sky,
I won’t lie. But when I see my future, you’re the most important thing in it.
The rest I can live without, so long as I have you.”

“Do you really mean that?” I
whispered, my heart swelling to hear his words. I’d been so worried. He gripped
my chin and forced my head up, holding my gaze as he spoke.

“I mean it,” he said forcefully.
I gulped with relief and nodded.

“Thank you, you have no idea how
that makes me feel. But I need to tell you something else that I kept from you
about that day, and I know my parents didn’t tell you either.”

“What?” he frowned, and tensed
immediately.

“They managed to salvage two eggs
and freeze them. There’s only the two, but …” I shrugged and gave him a
tight-lipped smile.

“So we might be able to have a
baby? With a surrogate?” he gasped, his eyebrows raised in surprise and his
voice full of hope.

“Yes, would that be ok? Because
I’d really, really like to try it.”

“It’s not me you need to ask
permission from, Sky. Of course that’s ok with me, I’d be overjoyed if it
worked. But what about you? To know someone else is carrying our child,
wouldn’t that be incredibly painful for you?”

“No more painful than never
having our own baby,” I replied. I knew it wouldn’t be a walk in the park, and
there was a high chance of me feeling depressed to see another woman give birth
to my own baby, but I had to accept it was that or we looked into adoption. I
wasn’t sure I could handle Nate’s sperm producing a child without my eggs. And
that was if the procedure even took, we didn’t exactly have many eggs to waste.
“And we know pain, Nate,” I gently reminded him. “If we have to face it again,
we will, but think of the extra happiness we could get from it.”

“So much,” he agreed, smiling as
he kissed me. His hand clutched my cheek and his thumb brushed my jaw as I
melted into his side, loving the combined smell of citrus body wash, motor oil,
and gas on him.

“Want me to hold the grilled
cheese, guys?” Rosie giggled, making us pull away with a laugh. Nate swiped his
thumb over his lips and I blushed and tucked my hair behind my ears.

“You did the orders together,” I
exclaimed as she put down both sets of sandwiches and curly fries.

“Yeah, I figured ya’ll already
spent far too much time apart, everything ya’ do now should be together,” she
winked.

“Amen to that,” Nate uttered,
picking up his shake and holding it out for me to gently bump with my own.

“Amen indeed,” I agreed with a
smile. “Happy first glance anniversary, fiancé. I love you, Ace.”

“Happy first glance,
first
love
anniversary, fiancée,” he corrected with a grin. “I love you too, baby.”

“Really, love at first sight?” I
uttered.

“I didn’t know it at the time,
but yeah, looking back it totally was. Wasn’t it for you?” he demanded, looking
mildly offended again. The mildness turned to deeply offended as I chewed my
lip and cast my mind back.

“You know what, I think it just
might have been, Nate Hudson,” I replied, bringing the widest smile back to his
face, which melted my heart.

“I can live with might have been.
Ok, last toast, because I’m seriously ravenous. To the beginning of a long and
happy life together, fresh starts.”

“Fresh starts,” I clinked.

We
were
going to have a
long and happy life together, I just knew it in my gut. Just like I’d always
known in my gut that he was the man for me, despite that tiny hiccup along the
way. Maybe life had been so harsh to us to make us truly appreciate what we
had. And I wasn’t going to let a second go by when I didn’t.

Nate

August - Five Years Later

I took a quick shower and changed into
my gray jeans, not bothering with shoes or a shirt. I took the stairs up to the
roof terrace two at a time, patience never my strong suit. When I opened the
door and stepped out, instead of the bare concrete floor, we now had a
specialized cushioned rubber overlay. Our old gazebo had been replaced by two
new fancy metal ones, with white cotton panels and new super-comfortable
leather beds. There were still fairy lights and lanterns, electric fans for the
day and patio heaters for the night, so it still felt like our place. I’d taken
her virginity up here and we’d been married up here too, and I’d never forget
it. Most of my happiest memories here, or anywhere, involved my wife.

It was a hot afternoon, the odd
white wispy cloud scurrying across the sky in the welcome breeze. My eyes
automatically searched for her, smiling to see her propped up on one of the
beds, reading to him as he snuggled into her side. Damn, if that sight didn’t
make my heart melt every single time.

“Chase,” I called. He looked up
immediately, his dark brown eyes, the spitting image of Sky’s, alighting on me
and a grin that looked just like Josh’s had when he was a kid breaking out on
his face.

“Daddy,” he yelled. Jesus. Would
I ever not feel my chest swell and my heart ache to hear him call me that? He
was our miracle. We’d managed to produce two embryos from the two eggs
harvested from Sky, which in itself was a miracle. When the first hadn’t taken,
we’d been devastated and almost too scared to try the last. But thank God we
had, and here was the ultimate proof of our love, our very own three-year-old
son. Chase Joshua Diego Hudson, named after our dads and my brother. He slipped
off the bed and hurtled across the rubber floor toward me. He was the reason it
was there. Sky and I had enough scars, I didn’t want my son getting a single
one, emotional or physical. I crouched down and he flung himself into my arms,
wrapping his around my neck. I clutched him to me as I stood up, one hand on
his backside, the other on the back of his neck, as I breathed him in and
kissed his temple before sliding my hand down between his shoulders so he could
lean back to grin at me. He was a seriously good-looking little dude. Sky’s
eyes and heart-shaped lips, but the rest of him was all me.

“Hey there, did you have a nice
morning with Mommy?” I hadn’t wanted him to call her Ma like I had mine, like
somehow doing that might jinx things. So when I talked about Sky to him, she
was Mommy.

“Yeah,” he nodded. “She’s been
weeding me storwies. I luff her. I luff you too, Daddy,” he stated earnestly,
damn near shattering my heart.

“And I love you and Mommy just as
much.”

“Mommy’s so pwetty,” he nodded,
his face super serious and studious. It made me swallow hard. I could really
see elements of bookish Josh in him as well.

“She sure is, son, she sure is,”
I smiled, kissing his forehead as I headed over, loving the happy smile on her
face as she watched us. She patted the bed beside her and I sat down, leaning
over to kiss her, a little moan of pleasure leaving her throat when I let my
tongue dip slightly into her mouth, the piercing running around the inside of her
lips, tracing them. That moan was nearly as good as when I let that silver ball
pleasure her clit.

“Kissie, kissie,” Chase clapped and
chortled, making us laugh and break apart.

“You’ll have a special girl one
day too, Chase Hudson, and I promise you’ll want to kiss her all of the time,
just like I do with your mom.”

“Don’t fill his head with ideas,”
Sky laughed, as Chase widened his eyes at the thought of something new to try.
“He’s not four yet. I want many more years before he’s doing that.”

“I was eleven when I had my first
kiss, how about you?” I teased. She shoulder-bumped me and giggled.

“You know I was eighteen, you
were my first everything, Ace. Kiss, bases, home runs, and love. We’d better
get ready, we need to drop Chase off, then meet the realtor. I don’t want to be
late, that house would be just perfect and the timing couldn’t be better.”

“Yeah,” I sighed, running a hand
through my hair as Chase sat on my lap tracing the book tattoo on my ribs that
I’d had done to remember Josh.

“I know you don’t want to move,”
she said softly, reaching up to run her knuckles down my cheek. “But it’s too
dangerous to be up here now that he’s gotten so much bigger. And he needs more
space to run around in, not to mention extra storage for all of his toys. Plus
we have the appointment on Monday, we don’t want to be unprepared.”

“I know,” I agreed, wiping my
hand over my face. “We just have so many memories here.”

“We do, and our memories will
stay with us no matter where we live, but it’s time we made new ones somewhere
else, and let someone else make just as happy ones here as we did. You’ll still
be back for work, you’re not saying goodbye to the building altogether.”

“I know that,” I nodded, then
shook it off. Times changed and you had to go with it. Besides, I’d be happy
wherever my wife and son were, as long as we were together. “I’ll run down and
put a shirt on. You staying with Mommy for a minute or coming with me?” I asked
Chase.

“You, Daddy,” he beamed, holding
his arms up to grab my neck as I lifted him. “And I need to poo.”

“Wonderful,” I groaned. “One of
the aspects of fatherhood I really don’t enjoy, but at least it’s better than
the old days of diaper changing. I can’t wait for him to be able to wipe his
own butt, though.” Sky laughed and pursed her lips for a kiss, but as I leaned
in, Chase giggled his head off as he shoved his little hand over my lips and
pushed me away, so he could give her a wet and noisy one first. “Hey you, find
your own woman to kiss!”

“But I luff kissing Mommy,” he
pouted.

“Hmmm, at least you’ve got good
taste, but we seriously need to have a talk about your sloppy technique,” I
warned him, smiling as I remembered my dad giving me tips after I’d gotten my
first kiss so wrong.

“It’s going to hurt when he’s too
old, or too embarrassed, to kiss me anymore,” Sky sighed, pouting in a way that
was equal measures adorable and sexy.

“It’s a good thing you’ll still
have me to make up for it then, isn’t it?” I winked, claiming her mouth again.

“Weally need to poo, Daddy,”
Chase whispered in my ear. I groaned and cut our kiss short, standing up
quickly with him held against my chest.

“Way to kill the moment,” I
chuckled as we headed over to the door.

Sky

I watched them go and sighed
happily. I’d never have imagined I could love anyone as much as I loved Nate,
but Chase … I totally got what Mom had told me all those years ago, about how
you’d sacrifice yourself to save someone you really loved, because I’d do it
for Nate and Chase in an instant, just like Josh had for me.

I got up and ran after them,
never happy when we weren’t together. All of my priorities had changed over the
last few years, my family was the most important thing to me now. All of that
hard work at college, getting the job of my dreams, and loving it initially,
was no longer my primary concern. I wasn’t all that comfortable in a car
anymore, especially not on the freeway, so even driving myself to and from work
had become so stressful. The thrill of working in a busy city had soon lost its
appeal too. I’d planned to carry on working after I’d taken a few months leave
when Chase was born, but suddenly looking after him and Nate was all I wanted
to do, so I’d quit. Nate had spent so long looking after everyone else, I
wanted to take care of him and Chase, so I was a stay-at-home mom who loved
nothing better than cooking, cleaning, and doing just that. I saw female power
now for what it was, being happy in your own skin and with the choices you made,
and not letting anyone influence or shame you for that. Regardless of my degree
or intellect, this was what I wanted to do. This was what I was happiest doing.

Chase was singing to himself in
the bathroom as he sat on his potty seat. He’d learned to climb the steps and
sit and do his business, but still yelled for one of us to wipe his bum when he
was done. Nate was pulling on a clean white button-down shirt, and I made the most
of ogling his body. He’d lost the bulk he’d built up for his time in prison,
and had more of his toned and lean baseball physique, but broader, like you’d
expect for a thirty-year-old man. Just looking at him still turned me on, especially
with all of that sexy body art on him. He’d added to it over the years, with
some new rib pieces to remember his mom and Josh, and had half-sleeves on his
arms based around cars and tools. He’d also had Chase’s name written under
mine, above his heart. He caught me staring at him as he sat on the bed to pull
on his new black boots, his favorite old pair having finally been laid to rest.

“I can tell exactly what you’re
thinking, Mrs. Hudson,” he chuckled.

“Good, because I was thinking we
could see if Mom and Pops could keep Chase tonight, give us a bit of alone time.”
I winked at him suggestively as I twirled my hair around my finger.

“God, that would be heaven,” he
groaned. “I love him to death, but it’s like he has a sixth sense every time
we’re about to have sex.”

“It really is, isn’t it,” I
giggled. “If they will, how about we head up to the Red Mountain parking lot
tonight?” I added. “It’s been a while since we had car sex.”

“It has,” he agreed, a sexy smile
spreading across his face. “On or in?”

“I’m thinking on the car, with
you wearing your work jeans, smelling of oil and grease. Any special requests on
your end?” I asked, my nipples pebbling at the look in his eyes as he stood up
and started prowling sexily over to me.

“How about that hot pink lace bra
and panty set I got you.” He yanked me off the wall where I was leaning and ran
his nose up my cheek as I sagged against his firm body. “I want to see your ass
in the air as you kneel on my hood and suck my cock like you did that first
time,” he growled.

“Only if you make me come first
with that piercing,” I whispered, letting out a soft moan as he trailed his
lips down my neck and ran the silver stud in a circle on that spot I loved so
much. “And if you make me really, really wet, I might just let you–”

“Uh-oh. It’s a big one, I don’t
think there’ll be enough woom in the toilet, Daddy,” Chase called in a
sing-song voice, making me giggle.

“There’ll be room,” Nate called
back.

“Where does it all come fwom? So
much poo. I think I ate too many waffles for bweakfast,” he mused, as Nate
shook his head and rolled his eyes.

“Tell me when you’re done and
I’ll come and wipe your bum.”

“Uh-oh, too late. I got poo on my
hand, Daddy.”

“Jesus Christ,” Nate muttered,
sighing heavily as he dropped his head to my shoulder, our moment completely lost.

“And on the wall,” he yelled.

“On the wall?” Nate pulled his
head back and just shook his head, aghast, while I burst out laughing.

“Uh-oh. On the floor too,” Chase
giggled.

“He’s a damn pooing machine!”
Nate groaned, letting go of me as he ran his hands over his face and shook his
head.