Torrid Affair (12 page)

Nate bowed his head and exhaled. “You're right.” When he looked up at me again, his eyes were different. Something about them caused a chill to run up my spine. “I'm sorry,” he muttered but I didn’t believe him.

I bit the inside of my lip, refusing to let another tear fall. This was the closure I needed. In a few weeks, any feeling I had toward him would have passed. Forcing a smile to my face, I grabbed my bag. “Bye,” I whispered. I didn’t wait for him to respond as I walked toward the stairs.

I found myself in the women’s bathroom a few minutes later. Splashing cool water on my face, I attempted to compose myself. I studied my reflection in the mirror and swallowed back the pent up emotion that had lodged itself in my throat. “You will not cry,” I whispered to myself. “You can’t be with him.” I repeated it a few dozen times.

Inhaling, I straightened, held my shoulders back, and left the bathroom to meet Julian.

* * *

T
he heavy ceramic
mug filled with caffeine and creamy goodness warmed my hands. I probably should have ordered a decaf coffee since I couldn’t stop my feet from bouncing, but my problem wasn’t the caffeine; it was the thought of meeting Julian. The last time I saw him, we left our friendship up in the air. His conduct and mannerisms made me question him as my friend.

The bells tied to the entry door jingled and in he walked. His winter hat covered his head and when he noticed me, a wide smile brightened his face. I stood to meet him.

“Hi,” he said when he walked over. He embraced me in his arms.

“Hi.” I wrapped my arms around his neck in a hug.

Julian held me a few long seconds before he let me go. “Have you been waiting long?” He looked down at his watch. “I thought you said three?”

I shook my head. “I just got here.”

A barista walked over with a notepad in hand and turned to Julian. “Can I get you something to drink?” she asked sweetly.

“White cinnamon sage tea, please.”

Sitting across from him, we waited in silence until the barista returned with his cup of hot water and paper wrapped tea bag. He opened it and dropped it in his cup to steep.

I lifted my eyes from his mug to his face. “How’ve you been?”

“Good, can’t complain. Glad to be back on campus.” He took a sip and lowered his cup in front of him. “I’m better now that I’m here with you.” He reached a hand out to grasp mine but stopped. “Brie, I'm sorry.” Julian dropped his eyes. “I overreacted that night. I should never have spoken to you that way.”

I reached across the table and entwined my hands with his. My vision blurred with unshed tears. He was apologizing to me, but I was the one who had betrayed him. Julian wasn't a bad guy. He was sweet and caring, and more importantly, he adored me. He didn't deserve what I did to him. “Julian, I don't want you to apologize.”

“I have to.” His voice was shaky as he clenched my hand. “I’ve given you the space you asked for, but Brie, you're a friend I truly care about. The way we left things . . .” He slowly shook his head. “You're not supposed to treat the people you love like I treated you. And for that, Brielle, I'm sorry. Truly sorry.”

I cleared my throat and forced a smile to my face. “Julian, I'm sorry.” I should have told him everything, but the words were lodged in my throat. “It’s not fair for you. I know how you feel for me, and even though we’re friends, I should have taken your feelings into consideration” Pausing, I waited for him to look up. “I never really gave us a try. My mind has been so preoccupied with finishing school and everything else that our relationship was put on the back burner.” My voice cracked and a tear dripped from my cheek. I knew where my mind had
really
been all this time. “I never gave us a chance and that’s not fair to you.  I know that you love me. I can't give you what you want from me, but I’d be honored to be your friend, if that's okay.”

“I'd like that.” His thumb ran across my knuckles.

I choked back the tears that threatened to escape and forced myself to smile. Julian could make me happy.

If only I wasn't falling for his brother.

L
ove was fucked up
. Whoever said it was the most wonderful and beautiful thing in the world was full of shit. I was a straight A student, but when it came to falling in love, I failed miserably. It wasn't that I didn't know how to love. I loved unconditionally and hopelessly. It was simply that I fell in love for the wrong guy. I tried, sweet lord, did I try to fall in love with someone else—
anyone
else. Hell, I even tried to fall in love with his
brother
.

Instead, I fell in love with Nate.

Fucked
.

I was fucked.

Two weeks after my encounter with Nate in the library, I believed everything was right in the world. Delaney and I were back to our usual way, Julian and I had cleared the air, and I put my slip-up with Nate behind me. We had rearranged our room so a massive wardrobe covered the wall Nate and I painted. Any reminder of that night was put to rest.

Everything was perfect.

Until it wasn't.

I was in the library first thing Saturday morning prepping for the new student I was assigned to tutor. Usually, I’d have a chance to learn more about them and what subject they needed help with, but he’d only signed up the night before.

My back was turned to the door in the Learning Center so I didn’t spot him walk in, but the sound of someone clearing his throat caught my attention. I turned to face him with a wide grin on my face.

“Good Morn—” My words fell flat as Nate stood on the other side of the desk. “What are you doing here?” I crossed my arms over my chest.

His lips turned up in a boyish grin and he held up the form we had every student fill out. “You’re my new tutor.”

“No!” I shook my head in disbelief. “Hell, no.” I snatched the paper from his hand. T
his had to be a joke.
But his name was clear and he was assigned to me for biology. “You’re a straight A student, Nate. You don’t need help.” I tossed the paper back at him.

The stupid grin lingered on his face. “Not when it comes to biology.”

“Then take another science.”

Nate laid his textbook on the table and pulled out a letter from the Dean. “I took biology my first semester at county college. I passed with a D. The Dean is willing to let me retake it and the new grade will be the one on my transcript. If I do well, I can graduate Summa Cum Laude.” He paused for a moment. “Please, Brie. I’m asking you as a friend and nothing else. I really need your help on this.”

“No, there are other tutors. I’ll have you assigned to someone else.”

“You’re the only one who excelled in Professor Gorev’s class. I wouldn’t ask if there was someone else. I’m begging you, Brie.”

There was a small pinch in my heart. How could I say no? “Fine.” I threw my hands in the air. “But there are rules.”

“I can follow rules.” His voice was sleek and seductive.

“That!” I pointed at him. “None of that! No sexy voice. No flirting. No touching. No meeting for coffee. We only study here, got it?”

“Got it.”

I handed Nate an orange piece of paper with the hours I was available to tutor. “You can come anytime I’m here. During the week, it’s a little busier.”

He scanned the paper. “Wow, you’re here all the time.” He lifted his eyes from the paper and met my gaze. “Do you still work at the dentist’s office?”

“Yes, I still work there, but only once a week.” I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. “I actually get a lot of my own work done while I’m here. Plus, I’m free Friday and Saturday nights, which I spend with Julian.” I threw the last statement in there as a jab.

“I see.” He nodded. “Shall we get to work?” Nate handed me his syllabus and pulled out a chair from under one of the round tables.

“Yeah.”  

I exhaled my nerves and ignored the hazard lights that were flashing in my head, warning that this was a bad idea.

In truth, it was by far one of the stupidest ideas I ever had.

* * *

H
elping Nate
with biology was a breeze. Every Saturday morning, he was there at eight a.m. It was only the two of us, and Terri the admin for the learning center. She opened the library and sat in the back office filing paperwork while we studied. He was always on time, followed my rules, and came prepared with a list of questions about the lecture. Once our time was up, he packed his bag, said good-bye, and left. There was never any fuss about hanging out afterward or him walking me to my car. Most of the time it felt as if he was a complete stranger. Of course, I never mentioned to Delaney or Julian that I was tutoring him. I never broadcast who I tutored so it wasn’t as if I was intentionally lying. They never asked, and I never said anything.

“I have something to show you,” Nate said as he tossed his backpack on the table. His deep voice never stopped having an effect on me.

I was turning on the main computer when he slid a sheet of paper toward me. A bold B plus was marked in red ink at the top of the page. “This is awesome, Nate.” I beamed. I flipped through the papers that were stapled together at the left corner until my eyes landed on a question he answered wrong.

In cells, which of the following can catalyze reactions involving hydrogen peroxide, provide cellular energy, and make proteins, in that order?

“I know what you’re going to say,” he rushed to say as I handed him back the test. “We went over it. It was a stupid mistake. I was in a hurry to finish.”

“It was your first test. You did great.”

Nate licked his lips and smiled at me. It was such a simple thing, but the way his tongue ran across his smooth skin made my heart rate accelerate.

I clapped my hands and inhaled. “Let’s get to work, shall we?”

* * *

M
y neck ached
from the position it rested on the pillow I shared with Julian. The soft chimes from the alarm I had programmed on my phone indicated it was time to get up. From the window in his dorm room, I knew it was too early to be awake on a Saturday morning but I had to get to the library.

Julian shifted on the bed, his back toward mine. “It's too early,” he complained.

We had ordered Chinese takeout the night before and then watched
Remember the Titans
until we passed out. This was the second time I slept at his place, but we were only friends and he never crossed the line with me. He even slept on top of the covers in the opposite direction. These were the moments I tried to fall for him, when it was only the two of us, but it never happened, not when the memory of Nate still haunted me from time to time.

“I have to get to the library.” My voice was hoarse, barely more than a whisper.

“Anything that wakes you this early on a Saturday should be a crime.”

Stretching my arms over my head, I moaned with exhaustion and pain from sharing a twin sized bed with a grown man. “I'll call you as soon as I finish.” My lips brushed against his cheek and I rolled out of bed. I discarded his T-shirt and slipped on my jeans and sweater before digging into my purse to locate my toothbrush. Luckily enough, Julian's roommate Edwin had spent the night out so I didn't have to feel guilty about waking him, as well. Within fifteen minutes I was dressed and heading toward my car.

Outside, the morning was gray and blustery as heavy rain clouds gathered in the sky. It was early February and the weather forecast predicted a rainy weekend. Tossing my bag on the passenger seat, I slid my key into the ignition and turned it. The lights on my dashboard flickered but the alternator only clicked. The engine didn’t turn over. My battery was dead.

“Fuck!” I slammed my hands on the steering wheel. Turning the key, I tried one more time. “Come on, baby. Please turn on, please.”

The car wouldn't budge.

Julian didn't have a car I could borrow, and I only had twenty minutes to get across campus. There was no way Delaney was up at this godawful hour, and there was no way in hell I was calling Nate to pick me up. I was left with one option.

I had to run.

Zipping my coat all the way up, I tossed the hood over my head and willed my feet to move as fast as possible before the rain came down. Julian's dorm was about a mile and a half from the library, and between jogging and speed walking, I managed to get nearly across campus before the rain began.

The library was still 500 feet away when the heavy clouds that had been threatening a massive rainstorm began to pour over me. This wasn't a light shower; it was more like a hurricane and I was soaked by the time I reached the entrance. More than ready for shelter from the weather, I tugged on the door handle but it didn't budge.

“Seriously?” I shouted to the universe. I pounded on the door. Terri should have been here by now. I looked inside and noticed the lights were all off. There was no one there.

“Brielle.” I heard my name behind me. I held one hand over my eyes so the rain wouldn't get in my face, and squinted to see. Nate was jogging toward me with an umbrella.

“Terri isn’t here!” I shouted over the hard pebbles of water that splashed against the concrete.

“Come on, you're soaking wet.” He raised the umbrella to cover me. “You’ll get pneumonia.”

Nate led me to his car, our feet splashing in vast puddles forming in the parking lot. He held his Jeep door open for me and I climbed into the warm car. The scent of leather and his cologne was a sweet mixture. Jogging around the car, he pulled back the driver side door and hopped in, turned on the car, and blasted the heat.

“Are you trying to kill yourself?” he demanded. He shifted all the car vents in my direction. “We’re getting a Nor’easter.”

“It wasn't raining when I left Julian’s,” I stuttered, my body trembling as my jaw shook from the cold.

“Take off your jacket. It's drenched.”

I discarded my jacket and tossed it behind me, then took the sweater he found on his back seat.

“Why is it so freaking cold?” I whimpered. Nate’s warm hands rubbed up and down my arms as he attempted to warm my body. “My car wouldn't start.” I held my hand to the vent to catch the heat.

“It's okay. I'll warm you up.” Nate cupped my hand and brought it to his lips. Gently, he blew on them and kissed my fingers. It was a simple touch. One that stoked my heart. I was frozen on the outside, but the second his lips touched my skin, a fire began to burn inside me.

Neither of us spoke as he placed chaste kisses on my hand. The thundering of the torrential downpour hitting his car surrounded us.

Nate’s gaze met mine. I needed to stop. I needed to pull my hand away.

But there was no denying what we both wanted.

Nate effortlessly cupped the side of my face and brought my lips to his. It was soft at first, his warm lips to my cold. He inhaled my scent and my mouth opened for him as a plea. Nate deepened our kiss, his tongue twisting and twirling with mine. My hand ran through his hair as I submitted to his mouth. Moans escaped the back of my throat while Nate grunted and gripped the nape of neck.

Hungry.

Desperate.

Consuming.

Pulling away from me, his eyes scanned mine. “I’m sorry.” He kissed my lips again. “I never want to stop this,” he whispered. His mouth trailed across my cheek and down my neck. My eyes opened and I spotted a security car headed our way.

“Stop,” I moaned. “We need to get out of here before we get caught.” I should have stopped him completely. The smart thing would have been to get in the security car and ask them to drive me home. But in that moment, the only thing I wanted was to feel Nate’s lips on me.