Touching Scars (22 page)

“Damn, Alice that was some good potato salad.” I leaned back in my lawn chair and rubbed my stomach. Kat giggled at me because I was trying to push it out, but couldn’t.

Dad came up behind me and slapped the back of my head. “Language, boy.”

Alice clucked at both of us. “Give me a break, Thomas, your mouth is worse than his. And I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

I’d finally learned what Dad’s new girlfriend’s name was. Turns out I liked her. She was shorter than my mom was, and had fairer skin, but I could see some similarities between the two. Both were inviting and open to everybody they met. Both had a permanent smile glued to their face, like the world was always telling them a funny joke. And both were head over heels for my dad. Any reservations I might have had prior to meeting her were now gone. I approved, and I had no doubts that my mom would have too. She would have wanted him to find happiness again.

“When do you think you’re going to teach me how to make it?” my dad asked Alice.

“Make what?” she said in her singsong voice.

“The potato salad.”

“Oh, heavens, probably never.” She batted her eyelashes at him. “This recipe has been in my family for years. You have to prove you’re sticking material before they trust you with something like that.”

Kat laughed. “Golden potato salad. Hmmm… never heard of food being held with such high regard.”

“Oh, honey, you can lure any man in with a decent meal and a pretty smile.”

She sounded so sweet and southern, I started to think that even I was falling for her. “Well, you’ve got me. Now can I have some more, please?”

“Of course, hand me your plate.” She dished me some more and passed it back.

Dinner went on for about an hour while we chatted, teased, and sucked down our food and drinks. It was really humid outside today, but we still chowed down out on the deck Dad had repainted. Even with the typical Texas heat, I’m not sure today could have been more perfect.

The sun was beginning to set in the sky, and the fireworks were going to be going off in about thirty minutes. Kat ran inside to get me another beer and a Mike’s Hard Lemonade for herself. Dad and Alice had ended up heading into town to watch the fireworks from the park. I’d pulled some lawn chairs out into the front yard so we could see the lights through the big oak trees. Kat came out with her hands full.

She looked radiant. Her normally pale skin had a hint of sun-kissed pink to it, and she was glowing from the heat. She had her hair pulled up in a messy bun, and dark tendrils of hair were hanging around her cheeks while a few clung to her neck. Her tank top showed off her tattoos, and the short shorts she was wearing displayed the legs that I loved so much and her skull candy tat. She plopped down in her chair, and I realized I’d placed her too far away. Grabbing the chair arm, I dragged her closer to me. She let out a little yip, but settled into her seat and flung her silky smooth legs across my lap. She sucked in a breath of air when I let the condensation of my beer drip onto her thigh and drew lazy swirls with my fingers through the droplets on her skin.

“Whatcha thinkin’ about over there, big guy?” Her greenish brown eyes looked at me with desire.

“I’m thinking that when this show is over, I’m taking you inside and getting you naked so I can wash all the sweat off your body. Might even use my tongue for the job,” I winked.

She gasped but didn’t say anything in response. It didn’t take too long before bright lights started filling the sky. Downtown Houston always set off a big show every year and there was music that accompanied it, but we couldn’t hear it all the way out here in the ‘burbs. The neighborhood remained fairly quiet, and I knew most of the people were probably in town at the park just like my dad was. There were a few that had done the same thing we did and were chilled out on their front lawns.

When the first firework went off, it lit up a bright yellow. My eyes were on the sky but I noticed my heart started beating a little faster than normal. Several more fireworks shot off and it was about the same pace. Hmm… that was strange. Five minutes passed. Kat was cuddled up on my shoulder with her legs still resting on me. I’d chugged my whole beer, and I had started to sweat a bit more than I had been earlier. Kat was probably the reason I was warmer, being that she was lying on me, but I wasn’t about to ask her to move.

As more fireworks went off in the sky, the momentum started picking up. Vibrant blues, whites, reds, and purples lit up in a quick paced synchronization. Ten minutes in and I was now dripping with sweat. My heart was hammering in my chest and I felt like my body was on edge. My girl was completely oblivious to what was happening inside me, and I wanted to keep her that way. My hands were clenched into fists at her side. With each boom, the sound rumbled in my chest, making me feel like a guitar string too tightly wound. At any second I was about to snap.

The display reached its grand finale. Explosions of lights of all different shapes and colors blew up within milliseconds of each other. The booms that echoed through the air reverberated in my chest. My body was thrumming, and I felt like if I didn’t get up and do something with myself right now, I was going to go postal.

Giving Kat’s legs a gentle shove, I stood up and started walking into the house. I heard her calling after me, but I couldn’t answer her. My head was somewhere else. As soon as I got in the kitchen, I pulled open the fridge, popped the top on a fresh beer and chugged it down. It was halfway gone when Kat showed up in the doorway.

“Timber, what’s going on? You’re white as a ghost.”

How does one explain that a simple firework made me clammy and ready to fight something? How does one explain that just the sound of one popping made me want to lock myself in a dark room and never come out? I didn’t know where my head was at and I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to decide. So, instead of answering her, I gulped down the rest of my beer and went for another. Two beers down in less than five minutes. I was going to have a good buzz.

A firecracker went off outside. My body tensed and I turned in the direction of the sound. My entire being was on high alert despite the alcohol blazing through my blood. Another sound right next to me caused me to startle.

“Mother fucking piece of shit!” I yelled. As I turned, I knocked a bottle off the counter and it shattered all over the floor. Kat took a timid step towards me.

“Don’t move.” My voice was deep and it came across more threatening than I’d meant. I knew I wouldn’t hurt her, but I wasn’t sure where I could hold my tongue.

“I can help you clean up. Just let me get the broom and I’ll take care of this.” Before she could even lift her foot, my voice splintered across the room.

“I said don’t fucking move, Kat!” I was so close and on the verge of losing control. I needed her to give me a minute, or else I couldn’t promise that we wouldn’t both walk away with new scars. I didn’t want to say something more to her that I didn’t mean. My hands shook as I gathered the larger pieces of glass and tossed them in the trash. Kat was still standing where I’d told her to stop. Her arms were crossed over her chest and she was staring at the ground, completely huddled into herself. I made quick work of the smaller pieces by sweeping them up with a broom. Walking towards her, I noticed her step backwards. When her eyes met mine, I was shocked to see fear shoot across them. She masked it quickly, but it wasn’t quick enough.

“Please don’t step away from me.” My voice sounded rough.

As quiet as I’d ever heard her speak, she said, “I just wanted to help.”

Reaching out, I put my hand on her upper arm. She was stiff at first, but eventually relented and came to me. I wrapped my arms around her body and held on to her. She squeezed her small arms around my waist and it felt like she was holding me together. We stood there for a while as my nerves subsided. Every once in a while, a firework would go off and it would cause me to jump, but Kat would hug me tighter. She was the one that eventually pulled back and stood on her tip toes to kiss my nose. Grabbing my hand, she pulled me to the bedroom.

“I’m tired and I think we’ve both had a long day. Let’s go to bed.”

When we settled into the small double bed, Kat faced me and ran her fingers through my hair. It felt so good. It was as if her fingers were stroking every one of my nerve endings and lulling them to sleep. My eyes were heavy and the booze was still swimming in my veins.

“Was it the noise that did it?” Her voice was quiet but still seemed loud in the mute space.

I nodded. “I think so.”

“Where’d you go?”

“What do you mean?” I didn’t understand her question.

“You were standing right in front of me, but you weren’t here. Where’d you go?”

Lying there, feeling her small fingers stroking me, I felt okay enough to answer. “I think the sound reminded me of that day. I felt myself getting anxious, like every fiber in my being needed to be up doing something. I guess that’s just the Army in me. Always ready to do battle.” I sighed deeply. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I should have never yelled like I did. I was having trouble grabbing a hold of my emotions.”

“It’s okay, Timber. I pushed when I shouldn’t have. I could see something was up and I ignored my instincts to give you some space.”

“No, don’t do that. Don’t blame yourself for my crazy ass issues. You did what you thought was right.” I faked a yawn, not really wanting to talk about it anymore. “I’m ready for the day to be over. Let’s just get some sleep, huh?”

She crawled over to me and I tucked her into my body. She buried her face into my chest, and I pressed my nose into her hair. I fell asleep breathing in coconut, but it didn’t act as a barrier this time from my nightmares.

“I
SERIOUSLY
CAN
’
T
WAIT
TO
get home and use the shit out of my dick. It’s been too long since the poor guy has seen any action,” Holt said, sitting in the front passenger seat of the MRAP.

“I have a feeling he’s going to have to keep waiting if that’s how you talk to women, Holt,” Rooster, who was driving, said to him.

“Man, all I have to do is smile at a chick, and she’ll ask me to take her back to my place.”

I chuckled. “Which would be your mom’s house, right?”

“Fuck you, man. I’ve got that basement all decked out real nice, they wouldn’t even know I was still living at home.” We all barked out a laugh. Holt mumbled under his breath, “bunch of douchebags.”

I leaned forward and slapped him on the shoulder so he would know we were just fucking with him. We were halfway through our second patrol of the day and it was really windy outside, kicking up dust. All four of us were getting anxious to head home. We only had two weeks left in this shit hole. For three of us, we’d be getting out. We’d done either four or six years’ time in service and we were ready to move on to something else. Corey, naturally, was the one that was staying in. The guy couldn’t imagine doing anything else with his life, so he was going to make a career of the Army. Good for him.

“Hey, Rooster, what’s the first thing you’re going to do when you get home?” I asked.

“Hug my wife and kids, take a nap on my man couch, and haul the family off to Disney World for some much needed R&R,” he said.

“Cindy hasn’t burned that couch yet?” Corey asked from beside me.

“Nah, she knows that’s reason for divorce. I love that fuckin’ couch. Most comfortable couch I’ve ever owned.”

I smiled and shook my head. “What about you, Corey?”

He paused, thinking about it. “I think I’m going to go take my Ma out for a lobster dinner, then grow a pair and finally ask my high school sweetheart if she’ll date me again.”

“How come you’ve never asked her before?” Holt chimed in.

“Eh, she went and did the college thing. She was out having fun and living a different life than I was. But now that she’s back home, she’s gotten some job with a medical supply company and is settling down. I think now is a good time.”

I nodded my head. “You’re a good man, Corey.”

He looked at me. “What about you?”

Shrugging, I said, “I don’t really know. Probably go check on my old man to make sure he’s doing alright, and then head out somewhere to find a job.”

“Dude, don’t you want to go find some pussy?” Holt asked.

Reaching forward, I shoved his helmet. “No, I’m not a man slut like you. You dip your dick in enough pussy, you’re going to be dippin’ your dick in some fuckin’ creams because you’ve got an STD, Holt.”

There was a round of laughs. As we entered the town square, my eyes immediately traveled to where the Iraqi woman always stood. As we approached, I saw that for the first time in months, she wasn’t there. Why that worried me, I didn’t know. I looked all over the square, trying to find her. There was nothing. As we were driving past the shop, I heard a scream.