True Devotion (13 page)

She saw friends, acquaintances, people who would be eager to hear about what had happened this week. The realization of what had just happened made her stop and whisper a thank-you. By not preventing her from being late, God had just handed her a refuge. He had postponed dozens of inquiries about the rescue at sea and let her focus instead remain on Him as the church service began.

Kelly saw Joe five pews from the back just as he turned to scan the doorways. He was watching for her, had saved her a seat. That realization made her feel so good. She quietly walked down the aisle and slid in next to him, then said a soft hi to Boomer and his wife, Christi.

“Car trouble?” Joe whispered.

Her old car ran only because Joe bullied it frequently. For once she was glad to be able to say it wasn’t that. “Overslept.” It was true, not the whole truth but sufficient to allay his worry.

The songs were ones she knew by heart, but they sounded fresh this morning as she absorbed the words. When the song leader concluded the opening part of the service, Kelly reluctantly closed the songbook.

“Nice shiner,” Joe commented with a twinkle in his eyes as the choir took their seats and the announcements were read.

“Isn’t it though?” She had to smile because there was nothing she could do to cover the black eye, hadn’t had time this morning to even try, and it had become a real beauty.

“Sleep okay?”

“It was peaceful.”

Joe reached over and squeezed her hand. “I’m glad to hear it.”

When he removed his hand, she felt the loss.
Friends,
she reminded herself.
That’s all we are at the moment. Just friends.

* * *

Christopher, Liz’s son, abruptly shifted his weight in Kelly’s arms as he awoke. Kelly settled her hand more firmly across his back as the infant briefly raised his head from her shoulder, wrapped a fist in her hair, then laid his head back down. At three months, he was a wonderful baby. She was going to hate parting with him, but the church crowd was thinning out and her babysitting duties while Liz handled the children’s worship hour were almost over.

Kelly saw a group of ladies at the end of the hall begin to disperse. She didn’t have as long with Christopher as she thought. “Joe, I need to talk to Lucy. Could you take Christopher for a moment?”

“Sure.”

If she took Christopher with her, Mrs. Michaels would focus on him and they would never get around to talking about the upcoming Fourth of July festival. Joe accepted the infant with confident hands, putting him against his shoulder with barely a pause in his conversation with Boomer.

Joe was good with children, had a natural confidence around them. There were times when Kelly had babysat Christopher at her house, and she would rarely get to hold the infant because Joe would stop over and end up holding the boy for his entire visit. Kelly watched him now, saw Christopher poke a finger in Joe’s ear, and caught Joe’s smile as he eased the infant down a couple inches. This was not the first time she thought he would make a good father. The thought made her feel mushy inside. “I won’t be long,” she promised.

“Take your time.”

Kelly wished she had a picture of this. Christopher was now blowing bubbles at Joe, trying to get his attention.

You’re avoiding what you promised to do.

She forced herself to turn and locate Mrs. Michaels again. Kelly crossed the foyer, dreading the reaction to what she needed to ask. “Hi, Mrs. Michaels.”

“Kelly, I am so pleased you didn’t miss a Sunday and ruin your attendance record.”

Kelly smiled, having heard an opening sentence of that form in praise or admonishment since she was in second grade. Lucy was sincere about her relief, and Kelly loved her too much to mind how she expressed it. “Thank you.” She hugged her and was enveloped in the smell of peppermint and lavender, both familiar to Kelly. “I was wondering if you might have a substitute who could take my place at the festival this year.” It was short notice to ask such a thing, for the Fourth of July festival was only seven weeks away and Kelly was one of the coordinators.

Her friend looked worried and upset. “You’re hurt—your eye. It’s more than just a shiner?”

“No, I’m fine, really. I just—”

Tell her the truth.

The soft words echoed in her heart. It was so hard to admit the truth to this lady she so admired—the lady who had taught her to name the apostles and the books of the Bible, who had shown her how to stuff a turkey for Thanksgiving, who had ignored her depression after Nick died and pulled her to the flower shows and badgered her into taking care of the flower garden Nick had planted. Kelly sighed. “I just need to cut a few things out of my schedule, and I thought it might be easier to find someone for the festival than for a children’s Sunday school class.”

“Of course I can find a substitute, but are you sure? You’ve been a festival coordinator for eight years.”

Getting a ten-year plaque from Lucy was a big deal. She taught loyalty by example like no other person Kelly had ever met, and she had a spirit of service that anyone who met her envied.

“Sometimes in showing loyalty to duty, you forget devotion,” Kelly said softly, repeating Lucy’s own often quoted, favorite admonition. “I’ve been busy but not devoted. I need to change that.” It stung to admit to her teacher such a serious failing.

Mrs. Michaels patted her hand. “Go walk your beach. Jesus spent a lot of time by the seashore. You’ll find your balance again.” It was blunt, direct, but said kindly. “My grandson loves your Sunday school class. You haven’t been doing too badly, judging by those around you.”

Her words made Kelly blink back tears. “Thank you.”

“You can come and hand out tickets at the festival if you like, keep your service record intact. All you have to do is show up and know blue means adult and green means child. It’s amazing how many people are color-blind.”

Kelly hugged her as she laughed. “Deal.”

“Kelly?” Joe had come over to join them.

Mrs. Michaels glanced at Joe, then at Kelly. “I’m late for lunch. I’ll see you two next Sunday.” She left them there.

“Are you two okay?” Joe asked. “You’re fighting tears and Mrs. Michaels didn’t tell me how many Sundays I’ve been absent so far this year. She’s never missed that before.”

Kelly had to laugh, for she heard Joe’s mix of frustration and worry that he had somehow fallen off Mrs. Michaels’ favorites list. “I’m okay, and don’t worry, she’ll probably drop you a note in the mail. You’re still her favorite SEAL.”

“Only until Boomer and Christi have the baby, then I’m relegated to the back bench again. What were you two talking about?”

“I asked her to find a substitute to take my place for the festival,” Kelly replied.

“Really?”

“My schedule has become chaotic; something has to give. A few less hours at work, a few less hours a month with church events, and it might balance out better.”

“It would.”

“I know. You told me months ago I should do it.”

“It’s hard for you to say no,” he said gently. “Is Christopher asleep?”

The infant was nestled against his shoulder. Kelly glanced around at his face. “Just content.”

“Learn from him. An infant knows relaxed and content.”

“I
have
been wound pretty tight lately.”

“Then a day on the water should help. What time should I pick you up?”

The last thing she wanted was to go sailing and face the water, but on Tuesday she was scheduled to work a six-hour shift at the beach. She had no choice. “Give me an hour to go home and get changed.”

Eleven

* * *

Kelly had to stretch to reach the deck shoe that had somehow become wedged halfway under her bed. The comforter was in her way, making it impossible to see what she was reaching toward.
Lord, I don’t
want
to go sailing. Joe is going to bring up what I said again, and this time there won’t be an interruption to save me.

Kelly got hold of the shoe and wiggled herself back, careful not to lift her head until she was clear of the bed frame. Joe had tried to bring up the subject yesterday when he first brought her home from the hospital.

“Kelly, about what you said in the water . . .”

If Liz hadn’t breezed in through the front door at that moment, saving her, she would have been left stuttering her way through some explanation that made her look foolish. She had read in the tone of his voice the words that had tactfully been coming. Why couldn’t Joe just pretend he hadn’t heard what she said? There were days when his brand of integrity was painful. It was obvious he wasn’t interested in changing their relationship beyond a friendship. But rather than let her words die from being ignored, he was going to insist they talk. Just thinking about the conversation was making her so nervous she was sick to her stomach.

Lord, Liz’s timing yesterday had the feel of You stepping in to answer my prayer. Would You mind doing that again? Occupy Joe so he doesn’t bring up the subject? I don’t want to deal with this now. Dealing with the water is going to be tough enough.

The brisk knock on the front door was distinctive and familiar. Kelly scrambled to her feet to see the bedside clock. Either it had been a short hour or Joe was early. He was early; he always was. “I’m coming!”

She tossed the shoe on the bed next to its mate. She kicked the empty laundry basket from the hall to the laundry room as she moved through the house. The door stuck and she groaned. She turned the lock and tried again. “Hi, Joe.”

Kelly couldn’t see what he was thinking behind his dark sunglasses, and in a mood to be annoyed, she found that irritating. Joe leaned against the doorjamb, not taking her up on her implicit offer to come in, so she had to stand there while he swept her in an encompassing look from head to toe, then grinned. “You look like you need a few more minutes.”

Her bare feet curled against the rug. His teasing grin was not endearing. She sent him a frustrated glance and walked back through to her bedroom. “Find me the aspirin bottle; I’m going to need it.”

She heard the front door close. “You sound like you didn’t have time for your morning coffee before you left for church.”

She knew that tone of voice; he figured to tease her out of her bad mood. She did not want to think about her rushed morning. “I didn’t. Could we go sailing some other time?”

She knew when he didn’t answer that all the roses had caught his attention. She leaned against the bedroom doorpost and waited for him to ask the obvious question.

Joe joined her but didn’t ask whom the roses were from. Why not? Didn’t it matter?

“Come on, finish getting ready,” he said, and she couldn’t tell anything from his voice.

“I really don’t want to go.”

Joe studied her thoughtfully. “You’ll survive. Besides, Ryan is joining us—at least for a sail around the bay.”

Changing one of Joe’s decisions was like hitting her head against a wall; she didn’t have the energy to try. Kelly crossed the bedroom and tossed him the sunscreen she had found. “When did this get arranged?”

“He came down to the docks yesterday when I was replacing the sail covers.”

“Charles and Ryan came to the docks?”

“Nope. Ryan was with the teenager he was surfing with. Tony has his driving permit, and they came down to the docks to say hello.”

Kelly frowned. In the short conversations she’d had with Charles yesterday and the longer one when he had called back that evening, he said nothing about Ryan going down to the docks. She felt the need to defend Charles against the implied criticism in Joe’s voice but didn’t have the facts to do so. Joe had obviously made up his mind about Charles, and that made her mad. She liked Ryan’s dad. “Ryan’s never sailed?”

“Not often. Charles owns a big powerboat. I told Ryan I’d take him around the bay and teach him the basics of sailing if it was okay with his dad.”

Joe had probably not made the offer to Ryan simply to cut off her avenue of escape, but the effect was the same. She was going sailing even though she would prefer to do almost anything else.

“You look a little green. Did you also skip breakfast in your rush to get to church?”

“I wasn’t hungry.”

Joe disappeared before she got a chance to say she was still not hungry. Sighing, she sat down to slip on her deck shoes. She had her swimsuit on under her shorts and T-shirt. She looked around the room. She had found the sunscreen but not her sunglasses.

“Try these.” Joe tossed her a package of peanut butter crackers. He knew where her stash was hidden.

Normally they would perk even a tepid interest for they were her favorite comfort food, but today she didn’t even want to open them. “I’m really not hungry.”

“If you don’t eat, you’ll just make yourself seasick when we get on the open water.”

She pulled a face at him and opened the package. She knew he was right. She dutifully munched on the first one as she scanned the room looking for her sunglasses. “I’ve got beach towels folded on the dryer. Grab us a couple.” She found a book to take along on the vague hope Joe would give her a break today and let her sunbathe rather than actively tack sails.

“Ready?”

Her hair barrettes were still lost, along with her sunglasses. “I guess so.” She grinned when she saw the size of the stack of towels he had picked up. “I gather Misha is going with us?” The Labrador loved to be out on the water.

“She’s waiting in the car, eager to go.”

Kelly picked up her keys. “Did you remember lunch for her? Last time she was sharing mine.”

“She knows you’re a soft touch. You didn’t see me sharing my Oreos.” Joe paused on the porch beside her as she locked the front door. “Did you and Liz have a good time yesterday?”

“Yes.” She thought about the plans she and Liz had made, before the roses had begun to arrive. “We’re going to repaint and wallpaper my kitchen.”