Tuning in to Inner Peace: The Surprisingly Fun Way to Transform Your Life (17 page)

In meditation class once, I remarked that I was perceived as too intense at work. People had told me that I made them nervous by running too fast, asking too many questions and being too demanding.

“I guess I should drink a little less coffee,” I joked.

“Yes,” my instructor replied, “and there are other things you can do to tone that down.”

Funny, but before he said that, I’d always thought it was just a personality thing and that was that. After that insight, I realized that when people perceive me as too intense, I can take that as constructive criticism and act to moderate that.

To live lightly is to be able to turn down our own intensity level so we can enjoy life and each other. “Live lightly” is a motto we can benefit from in all areas of our life. We can live lightly by:

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Staying positive and trusting in a relationship, even if there is no communication for extended periods

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Letting go of possessions that no longer serve you

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Giving up beliefs that don’t feel true anymore

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Being content whether you have a lot of money or a little

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Letting go of a “this has to happen for me to be happy” belief

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Judging less

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Trying something new

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Being able to laugh at yourself when you fail or fall

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Giving up the need to know

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Resisting the urge to ask every question that pops in your head

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Resisting the urge to complain or boast

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Worrying less about others

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Being more patient and content waiting for others or for circumstances to change

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Playing with kids on the floor or in the playground

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Being able to enjoy a picnic in the park as much as a fancy dinner out

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Walking instead of driving

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Using less electricity, gas or water

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Painting without a prior plan of what you’ll paint

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Singing and dancing

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Asking for help

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Being amazed instead of outraged

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Savoring a walk in the neighborhood or a hike in the woods

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Camping

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Not worrying about what other people will think of you

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Seeing the funny side of any situation

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Losing weight

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Eating simple, delicious foods like a slice of watermelon

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Wearing a completely different style of clothing

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Improving your balance and flexibility

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Doing a fitness activity that is fun (not merely functional): Capoeira, NIA, or skateboarding

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Laughing more

By keeping it light, we don’t get distracted by the details of the current situation. Instead, we can stay deeply in love with other, with ourselves, and with life!

Exercises

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Peruse the list above. Check off which you have done in the past month. How did you feel doing these activities? Does living lightly allow you a freedom to experience life more deeply?

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Select three more living lightly activities to try in the coming month.

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If “Live Lightly” rings true for you, make a notecard or write it on a sticky note for your wallet, purse or mirror.

Now, I hope you can see that Inner Peace is always within grasp. And for each of us, maintaining it is our individual responsibility.

So, the obvious questions, is How? The answer is that there are as many paths as there are people.

Many, Many Paths to Peace

I was brainwashed, oops, I mean raised, Catholic. I liked a lot of the teachings, but I grew up worrying that our neighbor and my best friend was going to burn in hell because she was the only non-Catholic friend I had. No, silly, I was reassured. She’ll probably just be in purgatory for awhile.

And all the people from other countries and other religions, will they be there too? I never saw anything in the bible that supported this kind of thinking. Jesus was not a card-carrying anything. He preached Love and Forgiveness, but never Membership.

There is no name brand on love.

When we do make some spiritual progress, it’s our nature to go a bit hog-nutty about it. We think everyone around us should do it too, and that our way is the best, or maybe only way. Thus, the ideologue is born.

But, there is no one way to peace. There are many, many ways. For me, when someone starts trying to sell me a ticket to the “My Way or the Highway” approach to spirituality, my Inner Peace starts rattling and clanking, and urges me to speed off the other way.

Stopping to Pray

When I went home after being in Saudi Arabia for two months, the thing I missed most was the sound of Prayer Calls. Five times a day, Muslims bow down and pray. The air is filled with the sound, as different mosques start the calls at slightly different times, making a familiar but unique symphony every day, five times a day.

I think this is a funny commentary on just how short our attention span really is! We humans start the day with the best intentions, but within a couple hours get completely distracted. Thus, the need for the call to stop what you are doing and pray.

I’m not much of an organized-religion-kinda gal, and I may not call it praying, but, I do pause often to notice I’m alive!

What is a Practice?

Whether you operate within an organized religion or without one, you’ll want to develop your own Practice. This is a set of guidelines, rituals and community you put in place to support you.

When I first started a weight loss program, I did some informal research. In talking with my slender, fit friends, I found out that they each had a system. “I don’t eat after 8 pm.” “I always eat fruit before going to a party.” “I weigh myself every Saturday to make sure I haven’t overeaten that week.”

What? And all this time, I thought they ate crap all day and were just lucky! That may have been the case when they were 14, but 50-year olds don’t continue that trend and stay fit and slim.

In that same way, you can manage your Inner Peace
easily, by developing a set of rules to live by.

This is your Spiritual Practice. You can tailor design your peace management system to fit you, and adjust it over time. It’s likely to encompass some or all of these characteristics: 

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discipline

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morning ritual

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evening ritual

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reflection

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introspection

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service

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inspiration

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quiet time

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community

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strong sense of self

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belief in higher power

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support from a mentor / teacher