Tuning in to Inner Peace: The Surprisingly Fun Way to Transform Your Life (20 page)

- Lily Tomlin, comedienne

When you walk out the door and feel confident enough to raise your eyes and notice your surroundings, you have a special power.

At my father’s funeral, I was impressed by story after story of people who described how my dad was kind to them. The two stories I remember best are these:

A childhood friend said, “I always loved your dad. Whenever I saw him, he would make me feel special. His face would light up and he would act pleasantly surprised to see us!” Those encounters typically lasted just a few seconds, as we raced in the house or up the stairs.

An elderly neighbor said that she often saw Dad as he walked down her street, on his way to work. Many mornings, she would be out in front of her house with her dog, as he passed. She said, he would always tip his hat and say, “Good morning, Mrs. Jones!” Sometimes he would stop to pet the dog. She said that many days, that was the only human interaction she had, as she lived alone with only her dog for company

I later told my friend, a Buddhist nun, about my dad. I finished my description of him, then added, “He never did anything big. Like, he didn’t save the world, but he was kind to people. And people noticed. It made a big impression.”

The next day, my friend corrected me. “You are wrong. Your dad did save the world. He saved many worlds. Each person whose life he brightened, he saved their world.”

That’s it. He understood the power of that and he did it.

That makes sense to me now. He was a superhero to me.

So, if you want to save the world, make sure you feel good enough yourself, so that you can give cheer to others. You save the world by choosing to be beautiful and compassionate to those you encounter, with even a simple hello.

Namaste

I love the greeting of India, “Namaste,” with hands folded in front in prayer position.

I have heard many interpretations of the meaning. One simple meaning is, “The divine in me recognizes the divine in you.”

The hand movement is also profound. Bringing together the left hand (representing the past) and the right hand (representing the future), together in front of the body, one person is recognizing another.

Together the words and movement are a deep way to hold the person in front of us in awe and gratitude for a brief, but important moment …now!

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Tomorrow, as you move through your day, notice the greetings you receive. What is the best greeting you received? Was it expected or unexpected?

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The following day, before you leave your home, make sure you are feeling calm and centered. Then with each person you encounter, try to make your greeting as sincere as possible. In that moment, how does it feel?

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Hold the door. When you walk through a door, make it a point to hold the door for the person behind you. It won’t slow you down but a few seconds, and you and the other person may love it!

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When you greet your loved ones, take a couple seconds to make your greetings warmer and less rushed. Hold onto the hug for a second longer. Look into the person’s eyes, smile and appreciate the miracle of the being in front of you.

“How am I supposed to live without you!”

“If you leave me now, you’ll take away the very heart of me.”

“Love hurts. Love scars. Love wounds and mars.”

I love listening to m
usic of all kinds, but you gotta wonder!  How many really messed up beliefs have been passed on this way?

Being hurt emotionally by love, by friends, or enemies, or the fear of it, keeps us from being our biggest and our best. This fear is so insidious it appears true.

In actuality, though, you can’t be hurt!

Love, Peace, Joy at Our Core

If at our core, we are love, peace and joy, we are always solid. This was eloquently and concisely stated by Eckhart Tolle. If someone does or says something to you, or hurts your body, that does not change your perfectness at your core.

You don’t need anyone to love you or make you happy, because at your core you are love. You are joy.

Arguing with yourself about why you can’t love someone can take up a lot of time in your brain. It stirs up point and counter-point debates that can rage for decades.

In contrast, resting with a simple, “I love her”, with no story connected, is like changing the channel. You can instantly silence the cacophony and return you to your natural state of peace.

Stay Loving

So, feel free to love anyone and everyone. If they don’t respond lovingly to you, so what? That’s not your business.

What will make you feel crazy is when you convince yourself that you must stop loving someone. If you have relationships that are no longer close, if you feel some hurt, it’s time to let the hurt go. Don’t let your pride and ego weave a story that says, stop loving them. Stay loving.

If someone that you love dies, and you are stuck in grief, it means you are denying the fact that life and death are a package deal. Gratitude will turn it around and you can be thankful and marvel at the blessing of knowing a person intimately when you had the chance.

You can love from near or far, by words or energy, through touch or clouds. You never have to stop loving.

Forgive

If you can see that we are all doing our best, you can see that no one is really hurting anyone. No matter what happens, we are still at our core perfectly fine.

When you give up the hurt stories, when you forgive and stay loving, you’re going to feel like you’ve arrived home. Allowing yourself to love, you’ll feel perfectly safe. You’re exactly where you should be, doing what you were made to do.

So, go on and love anyone and everyone, without the fear of being hurt!

Exercises

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When you review your life, do you have stories about people that have hurt you? Make a list. Is it true? What about the gloriousness of you was damaged? Can you see that your beauty and peaceful power are bigger than any single incident?

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Work on a retelling of the stories without using ‘hurt’. Examples could be: We learned a lot from each other. He himself suffered through the same as a child. He was doing his best. I hope things are better for them now.

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Is there anyone you have deemed damaged due to something that happened to them? Is it true?

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Are there any cases where you are demanding a never-ending love, where you are afraid of losing someone to death or some other condition?

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Who are you withholding love from, for fear of being hurt? What if the worst thing you imagine did happen? Would that change you, at your core?

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Make a list of ten people you can love fully that you’ve been trying not to: past loves, co-workers, family, strangers, anyone! How does it feel?