Unchosen (Chosen #2) (5 page)

SEVEN

When I dropped Niall off at my parents, they looked so surprised. My dad looked at me with his mouth open, slightly dazed.

“What?” I asked.

“You just look like…you like the old Lizzie. My goodness.” Dad beamed at me and I stared at the twinkle in his hazel eyes. He knew I was coming back into the world. I wondered how long he had been worried about me. My father never said much but his looks definitely did. He could say so much with one look and today, I saw hope.

I giggled and looked down at Niall who was gazing at my dad like he was an alien. I took him out of the car seat and handed him over to my father. I patted his back and gave my dad a peck on the cheek. I took a look around the house and wondered what I was supposed to do next. Just leave? No, that can’t be right. The tears came on full force.

One whole night without my little guy.
Sure, I did a few hours here and there to go see Conner play, but I never partied and I only stayed through the set, never later than midnight. Those nights, I just slept with my parents. But this was a whole night, almost a whole two days.

“Wait! I don’t have to go. He is still so young. This isn’t me. I don’t just leave my baby to go off to a concert
overnight.” I started to make my way back to Niall, guilt ridden and exasperated.

“Get your butt back in that car, Elizabeth, and do not come back until tomorrow afternoon,” my mother insisted with that “I am the boss” voice.  I hung my head and she wrapped her arms around me. “I am so proud of you, Lizzie. You have a great job, a beautiful little boy, and you are a great woman. Now go have fun for the first time in over a year. It is your turn to let go,” she said gently.

I walked out the door and to my car. As I put my keys in the ignition, I turned around to see the car seat bottom and let out a whimper. I would miss my little man but the anticipation of having one night to play like the young adult I was far outweighed my guilt.

Back at the apartment, I paced. I checked my makeup, my hair, my baby bump. I ate a cold piece of pizza and debated if I should go pee about a million times. I was so nervous. When 4:45 rolled around, I was convinced Nick wasn’t coming. I sat on the couch and started to grab the remote to the television when a thunderous knock came to my door.

I composed myself and gallantly strode to the door. I peeked out and saw a tall blond man with brown eyes and a dimpled smile.

“Hello, Lizzie?” he asked.

“Uh, hello,” I inquired slowly, feeling confused. I must have conjured up what Nick looked like because this guy didn’t have the killer smile that heated up every part of my body. I hadn’t ever seen this guy before.

“I’m Drew. I am here to pick you up for my friend, Nick. It turns out you live closer to me, so you are my first pick up,” he revealed, waving his cell phone in the air.
“Uh, here. Nick is on the phone. He thought you might be a little freaked out to see a stranger at your door.”

I took the cell phone from his hands as I walked back into my apartment to grab my bag.

“Hi, Nick.” I chuckled.

“You met Drew. Good. He is totally harmless. So get in the car and come get me,” he pleaded.

“Okay, okay. See you soon.” When I turned to give Drew his phone, I noticed that he had been staring at my backside. He didn’t even try to cover it up. I cleared my throat and he looked around the kitchen and focused on the baby seat at the kitchen table. It hadn’t been used yet, so I was glad it was clean.

“Yours?”
Drew asked.

“Nah, I normally sit in an adult seat. I fit better,” I teased.

“No, I meant,” he hesitated.

“I know what you meant,” I snorted. “We have to go. It sounds like Nick is having a meltdown about time. We can talk about my son another time. Or maybe that’s all I will say,” I said with a smirk.

Talking about Niall is one of my favorite topics but I rarely talk about him outside my close circle of family and friends. I will never deny he is my son. He is my blood and I adore him.
He
is not the secret but where he came from is. It is way too personal and it always leaves me feeling sad. I wasn’t ready to answer the questions people honestly wanted answered.

The bottom line is I had sex and then had a baby. I didn’t wear an engagement or wedding ring. I didn’t talk about a man in my life. That story would take forever. I could have written a full novel about that disastrous love affair but that would take at least a month. Tonight, I was in the mood for live music and the live scene.

“Yeah, okay. Let’s go.”

Drew held the apartment door open for me with a bow. He was funny, chivalrous and a total nerd. Overall, he was just adorable. Black square glasses sat on his face and they were not for show. Dimples and nerd glasses gave my belly a bit of a jolt and I smiled at him as I closed the door behind me. I pulled out my sunglasses after locking the door and fumbled to wipe them clean. Did I bring any baby wipes? Those would’ve been handy.

“What’s your son’s name?” Drew asked as we walked down the stairs to the driveway. He sounded slightly nervous about broaching the subject again.

“Niall,” I replied quickly, finally finding a dry baby wipe at the bottom of my bag and cleaning off the crud on my sunglasses. I pulled open the door of his black Volvo with leather interior and climbed in. After I put on my seatbelt and my glasses, I looked at him and smiled.

“Niall,” he stated as he started the ignition.

“Yup.
So how many Phish shows have you been to?” I asked, steering the conversation way off motherhood. I did not want to talk about it. He got the hint.

“This will be my first,” he confessed.

“Wow! Really? Oh, how I love virgins,” I exclaimed. People who had never seen Phish play were in for a real experience. Back when I saw shows, we called them virgins because going to Phish was the closest act to sex. Drew pulled out of my driveway and gave me a sideways look. I snickered and put my hand on his shoulder.

“Don’t worry, you will understand by the end of the first set,” I teased. A giggle escaped me. I was going to a Phish concert and everything would be so perfect.

“Yeah, so, Nick tells me you work downtown and met at that bistro off Pearl Street?” he asked.

“Yeah.
Someone pointed out I was fat and he came to my rescue. Then, he offered me a ticket to the show tonight, which I figured out, will be my twenty-third show.” I did a little fist pump in the air and hooted.

“Wow, twenty-three shows? Wait, Nick offered you a ticket? He doesn’t have any tickets,” he claimed.

“His girlfriend and him broke up so he is giving me hers,” I explained.

“No, she is coming with us. Caroline? You know, his new girl? They had been off and on for a few months. I guess they are back on. God, that guy has the life. Every woman answers to his beck and call. It’s annoying. So anyway, we are picking
both of them up.” Drew looked over to me with a mischievous grin. Um, this wasn’t good.

“Wait?” I groaned. “What? I don’t have a ticket. I don’t even have the money to buy one in the lot. Shit, you should take me home.”

“Relax,” he said softly and put his hand on my shoulder. He looked at me until I met his eyes. “I bought you the extra ticket. I saw you at the bistro that day when we were having lunch with Claudia. When he mentioned you loved Phish, I got another ticket and insisted he ask you to go with us. I wanted you to come so
I
could meet you.”

Oh. Oh, shit. This was a set up. A million things flew through my head at once. First, I was on a blind date and already admitted I was a mother. I let the guy in my house!!! He knows where I live. Nick didn’t actually want me to go alone with him? My heart sank. Oh my God, I have to spend the night with his on again girlfriend, Caroline, too? Is this a fucking joke? I must be the biggest fool for not asking more questions. I groaned.

I rolled the car window down and stuck my head out of it. Breathe. Breathe. When I turned back in, Drew was giggling so hard I don’t think he even realized he was still driving a car.

“What the hell is so funny?” I asked.

“Your face! It is so expressive. You look so pissed and annoyed and maybe a little frightened?” Drew couldn’t focus on the road. I couldn’t focus on what just transpired.  I crossed my arms over my chest and let out an exasperated huff.

“I am sorry. I just…I just haven’t been on a date in years. Nick and I are friends, you know.
Just friends. I don’t know, harmless, I guess. I am sure you are a great guy,” I stammered. Jesus, this was so uncomfortable. Why wouldn’t Nick tell me in the email or over the phone that we were going with other people? He made it sound like it was just going to be us.

He stopped my rambling with a wave of his hand. “Wait! I am a good guy. Actually, I am amazing. I am excited to see Phish and he said you were really into them. When I saw him talking to you, I wanted to meet you. You know, I kind of set this up. You’re cute, Lizzie, but it’s no big deal. No pressure,” he admitted sheepishly.

I smiled at him and tried to feel more relaxed. He seemed nice enough and he was funny. But, he wanted to date me?  Blind dates and compliments happen to single mothers, right? Apparently, I needed to reevaluate my theory on that concept.

“So… I guess Nick didn’t tell you he asked me to marry him?” I broke the ice with a huge smile on my face. God, it felt so good to tell someone else about that email. It had been eating at me. Drew’s jaw dropped open and I let out the biggest stomach laugh. I couldn’t stop. Once I realized the absurdity of the situation, I doubled up in laughter. I sounded like a hyena. I tried to stop but the little giggles blew up into full blown laughter. Drew finally joined in and we laughed the entire way to Nick’s place.

When Nick and Caroline stepped out of the apartment hand in hand, Drew and I were crying and doubled over each other. He kept saying “virgin” and I kept saying “marriage.” Nick knocked on the window and Drew wiped away a tear that dripped out of one eye. He rolled down the window and smiled up at Nick and Caroline. “Hey!” Drew beamed.

“Uh, hey guys. What’s so funny?” Nick asked, seemingly a little concerned when he looked over to me.

Drew and I couldn’t help it. We busted out in hysterics. We must have looked like idiots but it was impossible to stop. I wasn’t even sure what we were laughing at anymore but it felt so good. I also felt better that I was having a good time with Drew despite my disappointment that Nick brought his girlfriend.  Nick and Caroline apprehensively got in the back and put on their seatbelts. I looked over at Drew and then back to Nick.

“Thanks for the heads up on the blind date,” I joked sarcastically.

“Thanks for letting me know I would be losing my virginity tonight,” Drew deadpanned.

We looked back at each other and cackled so hard again we couldn’t move for several minutes. I started complaining my stomach hurt and took deep breaths. We needed to calm down but every time I looked at Drew, it was pointless. I finally regained my composure and looked straight ahead, attempting to avoid looking at Drew.

“Okay, we got to go. Drew needs to experience Shakedown Street,” I insisted. He put the car in drive and threw in a CD.

Then it occurred to me that Caroline and I had not exchanged even one word between us. I looked in the passenger side mirror and saw that she looked pissed. But she wasn’t looking at Nick, she was looking at Drew. What was
that all about? Did they know each other in that way, too because I was picking up some serious vibes from her stares at him.

I thought about watching Drew to see if he glanced in the rearview mirror a lot to look back at her but I refrained. I didn’t want to be involved in any drama. I started what would be the mantra of the evening: None of your damn business. I was in the middle of the sixth mantra when Drew put his hand on mine. “You have the most incredible laugh.” He grinned at me wickedly.

I smirked at him and pushed my sunglasses further up my nose. When I looked back to Nick to give him a warm smile, his head was turned out the side window and I saw the pensive look that marred his entire demeanor.

Damn, he looked so hot today in his baby blue Phish shirt and ripped jeans. His dark hair was spiky and he wore a Rangers hat on the loop of his jeans. Did he have a tattoo on his upper arm? My lord, could the man be any hotter? I quickly looked away when Drew moved his hand back from mine. This was already more awkward than I ever imagined.

EIGHT

Drew and I were animated the whole trip down to Mansfield. We talked about his job at the same firm as Nick. He snorted at some of Phish’s irreverent and random lyrics. Occasionally, I would try to bring Nick into the conversation but both he and Caroline were monosyllabic. I hated stifled conversation when I was trying so hard to have fun. The person might as well just tell me to fuck off. But screw them both, Drew and I were having fun and nothing was going to ruin this one and only night out.

I watched Drew’s amused and amazing facial expressions as we entered the rows and rows of Shakedown Street.
People in silly hats, juggling balls and bowling pins. Women in long flowing skirts, dancing to Phish songs over a loud speaker. People pulling on pipes and laughing. Sellers walking up and down the rows with anything from handmade jewelry to wood prints. The buzz was addicting. I could see it in Nick’s face, too. He was coming alive. I directed Drew to an open space four rows back from the food and make shift stands and jumped out of the car with my hands lifted up into the air.

“Welcome to the land of love and music,” I exclaimed. “Can you feel that energy? It’s wonderful!”

Nick quickly exited the car. “Lizzie, can you help me out with the cooler?” I nodded enthusiastically. I slyly watched Caroline shimmy up to Drew but he practically ignored her. His eyes were fixed on Nick and me. I diverted my gaze and we chuckled about how to open the trunk of the car. Nick’s hand grazed the back of my hair and whispered, “Damn girl, you go phishing like there is no tomorrow.”

I tensed and felt a bolt of heat radiate through our touch. He smelled so damn good, too. I didn’t think I would ever get the scent of him out of my head. I turned and smiled brightly, instantly thankful for the change in his mood. I gave him a playful nudge and we pulled out the cooler, chairs, and a blanket.

When Nick popped up the cooler and offered me a Samuel Adams, I wrinkled my nose. I looked back in the cooler and saw a Mike’s Hard Lemonade and quickly snatched it up. So drinking was on my agenda for the evening. I was at a Phish concert, after all.  I wasn’t driving and love was in the buzz of Shakedown Street. So have fun, Lizzie. You haven’t thought of Teagan until...well, until now. Shit.

I popped open the lemonade and went back to Drew. I put out my hand, palm facing up, and gave him a sweet look. “Ticket, please?” I asked.

“Huh? Now?” he asked. “The concert doesn’t start for two hours.”

Caroline made her way back to Nick and took a beer from the cooler. They started talking to each other but it didn’t look like they were romantically interested. How odd. I looked back at Drew. He was still staring at me with a dumb look on his face.

“Well, this is the first rule of Phish concerts. There are thousands of people here in this field. I promise that if you are looking for me I am dressed or look like half the girls out here. If we get separated, we can be certain we will eventually meet up at the seats,” I assured him. I had done this before. I once looked for my friends for over three hours at a Phish show, almost missing the whole first set. I was pissed. Finally, I bought a ticket off a guy who was clearly too messed up to walk through the gates. When I got in, I vowed never to leave the car without a ticket.

Now, Drew was irritated.

“Look, I am not trying to ditch you. Seriously. I want to hang out with you as much as possible but there will be a time when you need to go take a piss, and well, I am not going there with you,” I giggled. “After that, I may be taken over by hippie aliens who insist I need to hang out with them and then I will lose track of time. Yada, yada, yada. We will see the show together.”

Drew and I looked up to see Nick handing Caroline her ticket. He let out a long, exhausted breath and handed the ticket to me.

“Thank you, my wonderful blind date.” I beamed. “Grab a beer and let me show you the pre-party.”

Five minutes later, the four of us were walking up and down the rows of Phish heads. It was exhilarating. Nick and I stopped to talk to some people about their artwork while Drew and Caroline looked totally out of place.

I leaned into Nick after he said something to a guy with the longest dread locks I had ever seen and whispered, “I think you need to get a few more beers into your girl so she can loosen up a little.”

He laughed and looked over his shoulder to find her drinking a beer and talking to Drew. Suddenly, he looked tense. His jaw clamped down and I could see the veins pop out of his neck.

“Hey! What’s up?” I grabbed his arm. The instant electricity sizzled up my arm and I quickly let go of him. I stood there and just looked at him. He looked back at me perplexed. Did he feel that? Should I just ask him? No, he is a friend and he is with his girlfriend for Christ’s sakes.

“Lizzie, don’t ask me about Caroline tonight. Let’s just say I am so glad you are here as a buffer. Things kind of imploded right before you and Drew picked us up,” he said with a wistful look in his eyes.

“Hey! Enough said. I am so not into any drama tonight. It’s all about the music. No problem. Honestly,” I replied quickly and gave him an arm squeeze. I stared at the tattoo I tried to admire in the car and when he noticed, he pulled up his sleeve to show me. I licked my lips subconsciously and nodded. “It’s good. They did a good job,” I said, quickly glancing away.

“Do you have any?” he asked.

I nodded while taking a drink from my bottle.

“Are you going to show me?” he asked. I glanced over to Drew and I shook my head. There was no way I was going to create more drama tonight. Drew was acting a little possessive and it didn’t really sit well with me. I wanted to be alone with Nick but Drew was designated date so I felt I shouldn’t be contentious. I would keep the waves smooth and even.

“Not a good time,” I replied softly.

Nick scrutinized me with a look. He obviously didn’t understand why I had denied him. I sheepishly smiled at him, flushed, and rolled me eyes at my bodily reaction. I think he got the hint because he dropped the disagreeable expression and chuckled at the flush on my face and upper chest. After his perusal, I definitely wasn’t about to start lifting clothes up and out to show him my ink in front of everyone. He was pulled back into a conversation with our new Phish friends so I headed over to Drew and Caroline.

“My name is Lizzie. I just love Phish shows and I was being so rude by not introducing myself earlier,” I said with sincerity.

Caroline looked at me like I had grown another head and looked away.
“Hi, Lizzie. Nick and Drew were so delighted you came today,” she said as she regarded my hair. She clearly was not delighted.

I stood there, not knowing what the hell to say to that. The tension was thick and I wanted out. My first reaction to tense situations is to run.
Old Lizzie. I took some money out of my back pocket and told them I was heading down to the food tents for another beer. They nodded at me and I took off. I didn’t meander down the row like I normally would.

I booked it for the beer tent and didn’t look back. If nothing else, I would find another ride home if those weird people couldn’t get their shit together. Jesus. I needed cheerful people. People in euphoric spirits give other happy people a ride home, right?
Yes, yes they do.
I smiled to everyone I passed and held out my beer in a toast to those who were playing music or juggling. After watching a few musicians, I decided to sit and listen to a guy play the sitar. It was such a beautiful instrument and he was overly excited that I was so into the instrument. He offered me beers and we talked a bit about how I played the guitar but the sitar is definitely a pro instrument.

Someone tapped me on the shoulder and I looked up to see Drew grinning down at me.

“Hey!” I said.

“River, this is my friend, Drew. Drew, this is River. The sitar is a classic instrument and I just love it. We were talking shop.”

“Cool, so is this your version of taking a piss?” he guffawed.

“Yes! I am currently pissing my pants,” I replied dryly. What was up with this guy? One minute he huddled with Caroline and the next he was seeking me out.

Drew sat down on the blanket next to me and put his arm around my shoulders. Wow, that was a brave move. I looked at him and half smiled, feeling absolutely 100% uncomfortable.

River looked at the two of us and grinned broadly.

“Hey, you guys want some X tonight?” River asked. I shook my head while Drew asked him how much.

River waved him off. “Nah, it’s a Phish show. We all are about love here,” he said, pulling out some pills.

“I don’t do ecstasy, Drew. And since you are my designated driver, I suggest you don’t do it either,” I said firmly. God, I already sounded like a mother.

I took a swig of my beer and brushed Drew’s arm off my shoulder which wasn’t noticed because he was already grabbing for the baggie. He looked around and put it in his front pocket. I stood up and gave River a big hug and thanked him for playing for me.

“Keep it real, Lizzie,” River said as he started playing again.

I started walking down the row again and heard Drew calling out my name from behind me. This was so damn uncomfortable and I didn’t know what to do. I looked back to see how far back he was when I slammed right into another person. I looked up to find Nick staring down at me with concern in his eyes. “What’s going on, Lizzie?”

“Nothing. I was just meeting some cool people.”

“You took off.” He had his hands in his pockets with his Texas Rangers hat on backwards. His broad chest ached to be touched. He was so striking to look at. He was unlike any other man in the whole field of thousands. The bothered look on his face was charming. I had to look away to stop my heart from beating so fast.
Focus on something, anything else, Lizzie.

“Yeah, I’m sorry. I just can’t do the tense drama scene tonight,” I said with a frown. I couldn’t even look him in the face because if I did, I would tell him I didn’t even want Drew to come. I wanted to be his date.

“Come here.” He pulled me into a tight hug and placed his chin on top of my head. “I am sorry. I put you right in the middle of a real bad situation.” His warmth felt so inviting and I had been waiting so long for his touch. I had dreamed about him hugging me, nuzzling into me, making love to me.

“Dude, what the fuck?
She is my date tonight,” I heard Drew say from behind my back. I quickly pulled away but Nick took my hand in earnest.

“Go find, Caroline. She wants to be
your date
after all,” he said with a knowing look.

“Shit, she told you?” Drew asked as he put his hands on top of his head. “Nick, it was one time and we didn’t do it. I stopped it. I promise. I mean, I like her but…”

Nick just nodded curtly. “Well, apparently, she likes you, too, man. So have at it.”

Oh God, she and Drew. Caroline wanted to be with Drew instead of Nick? Why? How? He is beautiful, smart and so...Nick. But none of those attributes mean anything when the other person doesn’t feel the same. I knew that first hand. I felt like the whole field was spinning and I couldn’t figure out which way was up. I looked down at my hand inside Nick’s and the electricity between our hands was undeniable. I looked at him and gave him a sympathetic look and mouthed, “I am so sorry.” He shrugged and his smile was radiant. “Everything is better now that I have you by my side.”

The next moment, Nick pulled on our intertwining hands and started back down the row to the beer tents. He bought me a shot and a beer and we said nothing. There was nothing I could say. I just held his hand and watched everyone around us having a blast.  After what felt like an hour, I turned to Nick and said, “I don’t know how to say this but if that girl is down, Drew and Caroline are going to do X tonight.”

He stared at me for a long time and then shook his head. “Fuck,” he muttered and we both turned to watch everyone around us. In that moment, we bonded in a way that far exceeded what I expected from the night.