Unchosen (Chosen #2) (9 page)

“Yeah.”
I smiled. “I love playing the guitar. There is something so soothing about it.  I am a little nervous about the stage but it should be fun anyways. You should come. We go on at ten.”

I took a pen out of my purse and wrote the name of the bar on a napkin.

“Cool,” he said as he looked at it. “I would love to see you play again.”

Freddie walked me back to work and kissed me on the cheek before heading back out into the cold day. I was pleasantly surprised about how easy it was to see him and I felt a renewed sense of belonging in the world. Teagan was only one person in the world who didn’t give a damn about me and he lived thousands of miles and an ocean away. As I walked into the elevator, I took out my cell phone to turn the ringer back on. One missed call from Nick. No voicemail.

FOURTEEN

I debated calling Nick back all day. Normally, he would leave me silly voicemails but since we hadn’t spoken in a few days, I am sure he didn’t have anything dire or funny to tell me. He was reaching out to me, though in some way and I couldn’t ignore that. When I got Niall home and fed that night, I dialed his number and held my breath.

He answered on the second ring.

“Hi, Lizzie,” he said in his warm, rich voice. Oh, how I loved the sound of his voice in my ear. It was so comforting and sexy. It made my heart bounce out of my chest.

“Nick,” I stated. “I saw you called earlier.”

“Yeah, I did.” He paused for a moment. “I just… wanted to see how you were doing.”

“I’m good. And you?” I asked.

“Fine.
Everything’s fine. Listen, things got out of hand this weekend and I have been thinking a lot,” he said.

“No, Nick. Please don’t apologize. I care about you more than you might realize. I haven’t stopped thinking about what happened either and I just… I just.” I stopped, not knowing what the hell I wanted to say.

“Listen, Lizzie. You were clear you didn’t want to be in a relationship, and shit, I have been dating all these other women. I don’t know what you must think of me right now,” he said in a rush.

“I don’t feel bad or anything, Nick. I want you to have fun. I like that we are friends and it would be very painful if that went away. I mean, I enjoyed the kiss,” I said. Shit, why the hell did I just say that?

“I did, too,” he whispered.

A moment of silence stretched between us. I started to giggle at the absurdity. This wasn’t us. We were always comfortable with each other.

He barked out a nervous laugh.

“So, how was your date?” I asked. We needed to get back to our easy friendship. I officially was in denial about our kiss. That uncomfortable exchange was over and done with.

“It was actually good. I think I might like her. I mean, she is more down to earth than some of the other girls, you know?” he asked.

A twinge of jealousy hit me in the chest and I quickly pushed it aside.

“That’s good, Nick. I am pleased for you,” I said warmly.

“So are we good then?” he asked. The apprehension in his voice made me want to crumble and just say, “No, we aren’t good. I want you but I don’t know how!” I didn’t though.

“Yes. Absolutely. I want to be friends and you mean a lot to me. Let’s just get past this and go back to the way it was,” I said.

“Good. Good. So, what are you up to?” he asked.

“Just chilling. Niall and I are going to watch some TV and then I will probably hit the pillow. It was a long and tiring day,” I said.

“What happened?” he asked.

Oh shit. I had lunch with Freddie. Do I tell him? I decided on full disclosure.

“I actually had lunch with Freddie. You know that guy you went to meet? He called and we met for lunch. It was very interesting. I don’t know. Something about the time with him was cathartic. I felt like I was able to start to forgive what happened to me,” I said.

He was silent.

“I would like to tell you what happened sometime. I realized this weekend I am not sharing parts of my past that are ugly, and well, maybe you can help me move on from it,” I said, holding my breath.

“Okay,” he said with a question in his voice.

“Freddie was friends with Teagan.
Roommates, actually. Freddie and I got close, but just as friends. He was there at the very end when everything went to shit. He is a solid guy. But, Nick? He doesn’t know about Niall. None of them do,” I said.

“Seriously?” he asked surprised. “You didn’t tell him at lunch today?”

“No,” I said. “I don’t want him to ever know. I don’t want it getting back to Teagan. He says they don’t talk anymore, and well, Freddie actually hates him. But no. I won’t tell him.”

“Hmmm,” he replied.

“Does that make me a bad person?” I asked.

“Lizzie, you could never be a bad person. It just sounds like you are being protective. I see that,” he replied.

“Yeah, I am being protective about everything,” I replied. When I said
everything
, I meant my heart.

We ended our conversation a few minutes later, promising to have lunch that week to catch up. I felt better than I had in days. Nick was back to being a friend, Freddie and I were going to hang out like old times, and I was the luckiest mother in the world. Nothing could go wrong.

That week, Mac Downey, the senior financial advisor in the office, called me into the break room where all the brokers stood to applaud me. I gave them a questioning look as I turned red as a lobster.

“Lizzie, we are so excited you were able to bring in Mrs. Crayton’s account. The boys and I know how hard you worked for those accounts, so we are giving you a small bonus and a party,” Mac said.

I looked at them dumbfounded. Yes, it was a lot of money to bring in but a bonus and a party?

“You look shocked, Liz,” said one of my coworkers.

“Well, it’s not as big as some of your accounts, guys. This is just a little unexpected,” I said.

All of them started looking at each other very strange. I didn’t get it. Was I missing something? Mac came up to me and pulled me just outside the break room.

“Lizzie, this is the biggest account the firm has taken over in the quarter. Have you even looked at the monies that transferred in yesterday?” he asked with a small grin on his face.

“No, I mean, I am sorry, sir, but I have had a lot going on. I just assumed I would receive what was on her last financial statements,” I said. “It was about $350,000 the last time I looked.”

He gaped at me.

“What?” I asked exasperated.

“Lizzie, you transferred in four million dollars yesterday,” he said calmly.

I looked at him with a blank face.

“What?” I whispered.

“Yes, the $350,000 was her retirement account. The rest is her investments. You put the account number on the form. She signed it. It transferred,” he said.

I was going to be sick. This was wrong.

“I have to go call her,” I said as I pushed by him to my office.

When Lou Anne picked up the phone, she was as pleasant as always.

“How is my favorite financial advisor today?” she asked.

“Lou Anne,” I said. “I think there was a mistake in transferring your funds. I… I had written down that you were going to transfer approximately $350,000 but more money came in.”

She laughed. “I know that, dear. I didn’t show you those investments for a reason. I wanted to be sure I could trust you and over the past couple of months, I have come to adore you like my own daughter.”

“Mrs. Crayton,” I whispered.

“Now, now.
Go celebrate. I know what this does for your career. Believe me, I get a phone call everyday from people that do work like you and it is exhausting. Let me know what you think about my current portfolio and we can talk about changes when I get back from Florida. I will be there for a month. I sure will miss talking to you. Take care, dear,” she said cheerily and hung up.

Oh my fucking God.
Four million dollars? If I did nothing to her accounts, I would still bring in over fifty thousand dollars a year for as long as she was my client. I couldn’t breathe. I put my head between my legs and started to take short breaths. Tears came to my eyes. I had officially made it as a financial advisor. I could move. Hell, I could buy a car. I could go to Ireland, a little voice inside my head stated.

Mac came through my open door and started to laugh. “I take it the phone call went well,” he said.

“I really, really need a drink, Mac,” I said.

“Good idea! It’s after noon. Let me take you out for a glass of wine,” he said and then pushed a white unmarked envelope on my desk. I stared at it.

“Open it, Lizzie,” he said as he pulled my black coat and purse off my coat hanger.

I opened the envelope and gazed down at the check. My mouth dropped open and my hand flew to my eyes. “Are you fricking kidding me right now?” I asked, horrified.

“Nope,” he said, smiling and shaking his head. “You did well, Elizabeth. Real good.”

I just nodded as I stared at the check. He shook my coat in an effort to get me up and as I started on my jelly legs, it sunk in. I did the most ridiculous and embarrassing happy dance, right there in my office, in front of the most powerful financial guru in the company. I did not care. I had just made it into the big leagues.

FIFTEEN

On Saturday night, I sat on the stage at “Crimson,” an Allston bar that was a small, low key place and tuned my guitar. I was nervous. I was excited. I was petrified. The week had been one of the best in my life. The night I got my bonus, I took my family out to celebrate. Mom and Dad were so excited for me. I told them I wanted to take a trip to Ireland with some of the bonus money I received. They planned on going, too, so we talked a lot about dates and how Niall would do on the trip. Conner was excited, too. He had mentioned he wanted to go play at some pubs there and maybe we could play together.

Now, sitting there on the side of the stage, dressed in my Counting Crows tee and black Dickies, I was apprehensive about getting on the stage.

“How are you doing?” Conner asked from behind me. He looked like his usual rock and roll self, with a black t-shirt, jeans and black boots.

“Meh,” I replied. “Are you sure you want me to do this tonight?”

“Hell yes. This song is going to rock,” he said. “It is good, Lizzie. People will like it.”

I nodded my head and started tuning again. Just then a shot of clear liquid was in my face. I looked up to find Freddie smiling at me.

“Hey, you,” he said. I took the shot and downed it.

“Hey, Freddie. I think I need like five more of those,” I said with exasperation. He handed me his and I shook my head.

“Hey, what’s up?” Conner said as he jumped down and stood next to Freddie.

“Oh, yeah, Conner. I forgot to mention I ran into Freddie, that guy I met a couple of summers ago. Freddie, this is my brother, Conner. I am playing with his band tonight.”

Conner shook Freddie’s hand and looked at him strangely. I stood and put my arm through Freddie’s. “Buy me another drink?” I asked.

“Yeah, sure,” he said, looking confused. When I looked back at Conner, he was shaking his head at me and rolling his eyes up to the ceiling.

“Stop it,” I mouthed to him.

When we got to the bar, Freddie let me sit in the only chair available and stood close. He looked amazingly good. He had recently cut his hair and his white sweatshirt hugged the taut muscles in his arms. He leaned into me and I caught familiar male cologne that screamed “I am fucking sexy” and I wanted to bury my nose into his neck. He smiled at me because he knew how he was affecting me. It was that awkward moment when you are checking someone out and they are fully aware and loving it.

“You look very beautiful tonight, Lizzie,” Freddie said into my ear.

I shivered and pulled my face back to smile at him. “Are you hitting on me, Irish boy?”

“Yes,” he said straight faced. My stomach plummeted and I felt him everywhere and for a moment, I wanted him everywhere. I put my arms around his biceps and squeezed.

“I need to focus. Buy me a drink, Freddie,” I pleaded. I needed to find a little liquid courage to go on stage. Conner was so laid back and relaxed on stage but I am sure he had some jitters at his first show.

Freddie smirked and I watched him get the bartender’s attention.  I joked with him about how his accent still got drinks faster than an American accent.  I watched him with adoration. I loved Freddie, even after everything that happened with Teagan. Freddie had wanted me that summer and it was obvious he wanted me now. He was safe because I didn’t feel one romantic feeling for him. There was no spark. There wasn’t passion but good God, there might have been a bit of lust. He was yummy to look at, listen to, and fun to laugh with. I liked him. That was enough for me. There was no need to talk about feelings like Nick had. There was no need to worry about when Freddie left to go home to Ireland because I honestly didn’t give a shit. I was a successful mother who was going to rock out on stage. Nothing could break my heart.
Absolutely nothing. I was steel.

The house lights dimmed and I looked up to see Conner nodding for me to get on stage. Freddie walked with me to the stage and gave me a hug.

“Good luck, Lizzie. You will be great,” he said.

I jumped up on stage and pulled my guitar around me. I adjusted the microphone and waited for Conner to introduce the band.

“Tonight, we have a special someone here. My sister, Lizzie. She and I have been working on this song for a while now,” he said and smiled at me. I smiled back.

“She likes to think she is the real talent in the family, and as her brother, I disagree most of the time. But I think once you hear her song, you may agree with her,” he said and smirked, giving his sexy rock star look that made all the ladies yell, “I love you, Conner!”

Conner shook his head, pursed his lips, and murmured, “I love you all, too.” He counted off and began to sing.

I can’t stop counting the days

I can’t stop forgetting your ways

I took a chance

I took a chance

Now you are gone and my world spins backwards

I follow the street signs with the hope for

Some direction

Some direction.

I was in bliss. He nailed it. I joined in on the chorus and I didn’t feel scared. I was pumped. I looked at Jeremy and he winked at me.

It was hard to take a chance

It was weak to let it all go

You were there until you weren’t

Now a broken heart is all I know.

I did it. I can’t believe I did it. I fell into the song and it felt amazing. Joey, the keyboardist, went into a small solo and I beamed at Conner. He beamed right back at me. It was electric. We felt every word and every chord. This song had been a way for me to heal and music therapy was giving back tenfold that night. We were in tune, in sync, and I was in awe. I loved the stage.

When the song ended, everyone in the bar was on their feet, cat calling and whistling. I blushed and felt embarrassed. I looked over to Conner, who was smiling ear to ear. He nodded for me to say something into the mic. I shook my head. He shook his head and pointed at the microphone again. The band members behind us laughed and they started chanting my name. Soon, the whole bar was yelling, “Lizzie, Lizzie, Lizzie.” It was unbelievable. Never in my whole life did I think I could get up on stage and sing. Playing my guitar in the background, sure no problem. But sing? Wow. I was amazed.
I felt so humbled in that moment. I knew exactly why Conner dedicated his life to that. It was a high all on its own.

“Wow,” I said into the microphone. I took my guitar off and smiled. The chanting died down and I thought of something, anything to say.

“The fans mean everything to me and the band. They would not be here if it weren’t for your dedicated following. I am so honored to have been part of The O’Malley Band. I am so honored to be an O’Malley. These guys are wicked good so let’s let them get on with their set!” I yelled out, still totally in music bliss.

I jumped off the stage and Freddie was right there with a shit eating grin taking up his whole face. He picked me up and spun me around several times. We giggled into each other’s ears and when he put me down, he kissed me softly on the lips. I laughed out loud at his demonstrative move and poked him in his rock hard stomach.

The music started again and we danced for a few songs, totally high and elated.

“Let’s get another shot!” he yelled into my ear.

I nodded and looked back up to the stage where Conner was staring at me with a worried look. I gave him a sarcastic “fuck off” look and followed Freddie to the bar. People patted me on the back and offered up congratulations to me. It was awesome. We found two stools at the bar and the bartender was right there, taking our order. We linked our arms and took our shot together. We both slammed it down at the same time and smiled at each other.

“Hey, Lizzie.”
A smooth, rich male voice came from behind me. Nick. He was there.

I swiveled my stool and took in Nick Sawyer. Tall and broad, he wore a black v-neck sweater with a white tee underneath. His ripped chest was at eye level with me. I brought my eyes up to his and sucked in my breath. He looked like a male model. He looked stunning. My heart hammered in my chest and I felt wetness in my panties.

“Nick?” I asked and stared in equal surprise.

Nick gave me a quick grin and nodded. He knew I was uncomfortable. “I didn’t know you were going to play tonight,” he said.

“Oh, yeah…” I stammered. “I forgot to tell you the band asked me last weekend during their practice at the house.” I smiled and shrugged like it was no big deal but it totally was.

“You were…amazing,” he said with a solemn look on his face. His eyes darted to Freddie and came back to rest on my body, looking me up and down. Just then, I noticed a female’s hand wrap around Nick’s forearm and I looked over to find a beautiful, long haired brunette. She was jaw dropping sexy. If I were into girls, she would make all other females look mediocre. I gave a slight smile and offered my hand.

“Hey, I am Lizzie,” I said, trying to sound unaffected. I was feeling very unattractive standing next to this beauty.

“Hi, I’m Anna!” she said in a bubbly voice.

Anna. That was Anna? Oh my God. He was still dating her. They were a couple. She was beautiful. They looked so good together. I felt a sudden pang in my heart and I tried to gulp in air.

“Nice to meet you.
I am glad you guys could catch the show,” I said, swaying my eyes back to Nick. “This is my friend, Freddie. Freddie, this is Nick and Anna.”

“We’ve met,” Nick said stonily.

“Right! I met you the night I was hanging out with my coworker. Nice to see you again,” Freddie said pleasantly. I could count on Freddie to be totally in the dark about Nick and my friendship. He didn’t know a damn thing and I intended it to stay that way. Freddie was fun. Nick was beautiful, genuine, loving, attentive, and too complicated for my life.

Nick nodded and Anna whispered something in his ear. I just stared at them as they continued their whispered personal exchange. I felt sick. I did not want to feel anything bad about Nick and Anna. I had made my decision when he kissed me that night in my apartment.  I wouldn’t feel anything for Nick. Put on your “woman about town” mask, Lizzie. Put it on.

“Well, we are going to dance again. So have fun,” I said, pushing off my stool. Freddie grabbed my hand and led me out to the dance floor. I chanced a quick look back at Nick. He was watching me with a distressing look on his face. I gave him a small smile, a wave, and turned into Freddie’s arms, determined to dance the night away.