“This is Erin. She’s putting up with me for the morning.” Marcus’s smile was playful and warm, and she loved to see the camaraderie with this gentleman. “Erin, I’d like you to meet Hank. He’s the best short-order cook in the history of the universe.”
She reached out to shake his large hand. “Nice to meet you. I have to know, how much trouble is this guy?” She wanted to make Marcus glad that he brought her here, so she gave a playful smile right back.
Hank answered with a laugh. “No trouble at all. If anything, he keeps all my trouble at bay.”
Once again, no surprise. Marcus was a protector from the time he was a boy: first for his sister, now for anyone who needs him.
Marcus smiled as he led her to a little booth table by the window. “This place is great, but don’t order his homemade sausage if you’d like to digest anything this week.”
Erin grinned widely. Being around him was so easy, and she loved to see him around people who cared about him. Their interactions gave her even more confidence that the kind, easy-going, trustworthy Marcus she knew from the notebook was genuine.
She chose a plate of bacon, eggs, and toast, while Marcus ordered a huge platter that included nearly one of everything from the menu, hold the sausage. There was no waitress at this place, so Marcus just called their orders across the small room over to Hank. By the time the food was ready, Marcus walked to the counter and carried their plates to the table himself.
“No frills here,” he said with a sense of pride. “But it’s damn good food.”
The couple spent their time at the diner talking and laughing and telling more stories. Marcus even shared a few details of his latest fight. Strange, Erin thought, how comfortable she was with him. She had only met him in person a matter of hours ago, but because of the notebook, she felt like she had known him forever.
There was not a single awkward moment during their meal. She wondered if this was considered a date. She didn’t have anything in her recent life for comparison. Not for years.
After breakfast, neither one of them wanted the time together to end. They were too wrapped up in finally being together after months of keeping their safe distance.
“Will you show me around? I’d like to meet George and Bill. I mean, if that’s ok with you. We’re over here anyway…”
Marcus was thrilled. He told her all about the two of them over breakfast and also in the notebook, and she wanted to know them.
“Of course,” he said smiling. He offered her his hand to help her out of the booth and she accepted without hesitation. She left her hand in his after she was standing. Having her there with him was an experience he couldn’t describe, and touching her hand only sent him off higher. He looked back at Hank who gave him a wink and a thumbs-up. Marcus rolled his eyes at his favorite cook and left the diner with Erin.
“Let’s just walk,” Marcus offered. The morning was a warm and sunny, and he was in no hurry. Erin was playing hooky from work, so he knew she didn’t have anywhere to be, either.
“Sure. How close is George’s?”
“It’s a few blocks past the gym. We’ll stop to see Bill first.”
They walked the two blocks to the gym and Marcus held the door open for her. The raucous sounds of the gym came nearly to a stop when Marcus walked in holding Erin’s hand. He was expecting the guys to ride him about this, but he didn’t care. He was holding a part of her and didn’t plan on letting her go until he absolutely had to.
“No slackin’!” Bill yelled to the fighters around him. “Back to it!”
The noise of fists against punching bags picked back up and Bill changed from gruff to kind as he came over to greet the couple. “You must be Erin,” he said warmly, reaching a hand out to her. “Good to know you.”
Marcus saw the look of surprise on her face when she registered the fact that he had already told people about her. She knew Bill was like a father to him. He was glad she knew that Marcus was not embarrassed about mentioning her.
“Nice to meet you, too. Marcus told me a lot about you,” she said warmly to him. Marcus’s chest filled with something like warmth from seeing the two of them speak. This was like having his first love meet his family.
First love?
he thought to himself.
Envisioning her as his first love didn’t surprise him all that much. He could easily see himself in love with Erin. Knowing her from their weeks and months of writing had shown him how special she was. But now, standing close to her and feeling how his body reacted to her presence, he knew exactly how easy falling for her would be.
“I’d show you around,” Marcus said to her, “but based on the reactions of these guys, it would probably be better if I didn’t introduce you. They’d all probably try to seduce you away from me.”
He smiled at her to show that he was being playful, but he also knew these guys. One of them had already winked at her, and they wouldn’t think twice about smacking her ass as she walked by. They were used to women who liked that kind of attention.
Erin chuckled at his comment and waved goodbye to Bill. She looked surprised when he leaned in and kissed her cheek. That surprised the hell out of Marcus, too. Bill must really like her. Marcus smiled down at Erin and then led her back out to the bright sidewalk. He started walking toward George’s shop.
“Did I tell you where I live?” Marcus asked her.
“No, just that this was your neighborhood.”
“I actually live above the butcher shop. It’s really small,” he said, sounding embarrassed for the first time. “I don’t even have a bed. I just crash on my big old couch.”
“Seriously? No bed?”
“Seriously. There’s no room for a bed. It’s not so bad,” Marcus told her. “George converted his old office into an apartment for me and lets me live there for next to nothing. He put in a sink and a fridge. I just cook on the grill out on the fire escape or on the hotplate. I kind of like it. Without a lot of stuff, there’s not a lot of stress. Besides, I spend most of my time either at the gym or down with George helping out.”
“Wow. That’s just so far removed from what I’m used to. You work all night, fight all day, help a butcher and sleep on a couch,” Erin said, sounding in awe of his life in this neighborhood. “That actually sounds nice.”
He couldn’t believe that sounded nice to her. She was used to a large apartment and a car with no dings. Her life was surrounded by sophisticated people and nice restaurants. He thought maybe she was placating him with her compliment, but she looked and sounded sincere.
“Nice? Really? You’re neighborhood is a lot nicer than this,” he gestured around them.
“Yep, nice on the surface. But I only know one person in my apartment complex, and zero anywhere else. At work, I’m surrounded by office politics, gossip, and the occasional back-stabber,” she said. “So yeah, this sounds nice. Not a lot of stuff, not a lot of stress, right?”
Marcus was again amazed by this woman. There was not a stuck-up bone in her body, in spite of her being a college graduate and white-collar professional. He wanted to lean down and kiss her again for understanding why he liked his down-trodden neighborhood.
“George’s shop is right up here,” he said, pointing to a building just up the block from them.
Marcus, still holding Erin’s hand, walked into the shop and was announced by a loud ringing of an old brass bell over the door.
“Comin’!” George called from the back. Marcus could hear his shoes squeak across the floor as he came out. “Can I help — Marcus! I didn’t expect to see you today. And hello to you, Miss Erin.”
She smiled at George and then looked at Marcus. “Is there anyone you didn’t tell about me?”
“Nope,” he said unapologetically.
George chuckled at the two of them. “Welcome. I’m glad to have ya.”
“Thanks. It’s so nice to meet you.” Marcus loved the warm smile she gave him.
“Come on. I’ll show you my place. It’s right up those steps.”
George waved at them as Marcus led her behind the counter and up the steps at the back of the shop. He pushed open the swinging door and ushered her into the little room that was his apartment. With the exception of Cassie, he never brought anyone here before.
He wanted Erin there. He wanted her to know every bit of his life, and he hoped she wouldn’t walk away after seeing how shabby all of his surroundings were. Judging by the smile on her face, she wasn’t walking anywhere.
“This fits you, too” she said. “I don’t know how you sleep on a couch every night, but I like the cozy feel of this place.”
“Cozy?”
“Yeah, cozy. Not just because it’s small, but because it’s comfortable.”
Marcus laughed and kind of shook his head. “You surprise me, but I’m glad you like it. Do you feel like crying again so I have an excuse to hold you on my couch?”
She hit his shoulder playfully, smiling at his teasing. “Nah, I’m having too nice a morning for any more tears.”
“Sit with me anyway?”
She plopped down on the couch and crossed her long legs, smiling at him in a way that made his heart melt. “Well, if I must.” There was that playful vibe again.
Marcus sat next to her and put his arm around her and pulled her in against him. She settled right in and sighed contentedly. He played with a random strand of her curly hair. They sat quietly for a few moments, but he worried that she was so quiet. “What are you thinking about?”
“It’s kind of embarrassing.”
“Well now you have to tell me,” he said, teasing her again.
“I was just thinking about how strange it is to be so relaxed with you. I’ve never even seen you until this morning, and here I am in your apartment, totally fine. You make me feel very at ease. This is all new for me.”
Marcus grinned to himself then leaned down and kissed the top of her head. “I’m glad.”
“I think I want to kiss you again.”
Marcus heard a new hint of confidence in her voice and he smiled. She was obviously secure with him. He turned her toward him, happy to comply with her request. He tilted her chin up and gently kissed her lips. He lingered there, and then parted his lips slightly, hoping she would do the same.
She breathed in a nervous breath, and then allowed his tongue into her mouth. She moved with him shyly, and then started to tremble just a little. He loved the warmth of her mouth and the smooth feel of her tongue against him, but he didn’t like to feel her nervous from his touch.
He pulled slowly away from her, worried that he had scared her. He wanted her comfortable and relaxed again, so he pulled her against him and just held her in his arms. She started shaking a bit more, and he got angry with himself.
Damn it.
He had selfishly pushed too far, too fast. She was more fragile than he wanted to admit to himself. Seeing her without fear would take more than written messages and a nice breakfast. She had five years of isolation to overcome.
“What’s wrong, Erin?” he said, genuinely concerned.
“You must think I’m a tease.” She said this so quietly, so ashamed. He could hear how shaky her voice was, and he instantly remembered what that asshole from the party had said to her.
He kept his anger in check over the injustice. He felt a wet tear against his arm, and turned her toward him again. He wanted to look directly into her eyes when he spoke.
“You are nothing of the sort. I like that you wanted to kiss me, and I have no problem kissing you without any expectations of anything else. And I’m ok with
not
kissing you. I just like finally being around you. I won’t take anything from you and I won’t let you feel bad for anything you want from me.
I’m not him
,” Marcus said with raw honesty and intensity. “You never have to be afraid with me about what you want or don’t want.”
He saw more tears fall from her eyes, and this time he gently wiped them away. He whispered to her that it was ok to cry. He wanted to protect her from any more hurt, and keeping her close to him seemed the best way to do that. He heard her take a steadying breath.
“Thank you,” she said sincerely.
“Nothing to thank me for,” he said. “It’s why I’m here. Let me help you get your mind off things. Would you like to go somewhere? I think I’d like to take you on a date, now that we’re actually spending time together. I’ll make it official: will you go out with me? Maybe a movie?”
“That sounds really nice,” Erin said nodding and wiping the last of her tears.
The couple walked back to his car and he drove them off to the theater. They decided on a comedy and laughed throughout the matinee. Being together was easy again, but he was acutely aware that she didn’t reach for his hand. Being out together was enough of a stretch for her right now after she gave in to her fear again, if only for a moment.
He knew she had strength beyond what she realized; she just hadn’t learned yet how to tap into her reserve. He was determined to help her. She needed to know how strong she was, in spite of what she’d told herself for years. His heart broke for her, but his heart wanted to heal hers as well. Healing takes time, and that was fine with Marcus. Any time with Erin was well spent.
After the movie he drove her home. He didn’t want to stop spending time with her, but he knew he had to. He did, however, walk her to her door like a gentleman.
“Thanks for today, Erin,” he said with a smile. He leaned in and kissed her cheek sweetly. “Will you write to me Monday?”
He loved the smile he got in return. She was comfortable and happy again with no sign of fear or nerves.
“You still want me to write to you?” she smiled, sounding confused.
“Of course. Just because I met you in person doesn’t mean we can’t still leave messages for each other. I’d miss that if we stopped.”
“Ok,” she replied with another smile. “I think I’d miss that, too. And thank you. The past few days have been kind of rough until today. You really cheered me up.”