He smiled and started to back up toward his car with a wave. “Anytime.”
As Marcus drove home he could only imagine what was going through her mind. Had she wanted him to stay? More than likely she was ready to be alone again in her usual place of safety and comfort.
Hopefully, if he gave her some space for the rest of the weekend, two things would be accomplished. One, she would know from his actions how sincere he was about not pressuring her. Two, she would have time to think about their time together. Hopefully she would see that he genuinely cared about her. She would know she was truly safe with him.
Once he got the notebook on Monday night, he would understand more about what she was thinking and how she was feeling. He would know what she needed and would be able to offer her exactly whatever her needs demanded. The notebook that brought them together would make them stronger, he hoped. He was sure she wouldn’t hold back in her journal. She hadn’t yet.
The drive home from Erin’s apartment was surreal. Thoughts of his day kept spinning through his head. He had finally met Erin in person. She was even more beautiful than her picture, even with her puffy eyes and messy hair. In fact, seeing her natural was far more appealing to Marcus than when she was standing stiff and formal in her professional picture.
Even more appealing, though, was her shy touch. He thought about each one he’d experienced that day. He held the gentle weight of her entire body while she cried. She was so sad, and yet so sweet in his arms. He brought her comfort with his touch; he was important to her in that moment.
He remembered, too, the sweet, soft kiss on her couch. That barely-even-a-touch sent his heart rate soaring, but the opposite happened with the kiss later on
his
couch. Her trembling fear broke his heart completely. She still saw herself as a victim, as weak.
He relived each touch in his mind over and over until he was ready for his shift. He hadn’t slept at all, but that didn’t matter. He was more energized than he’d been in years.
Chapter Six
M~
I can’t believe how much has changed. You went from being this imagined, disembodied voice to a real friend, all in one hug at my door. I still can’t believe that you sought me out and took care of me. It seems kind of unreal. I’m still overwhelmed by all of it, but I can honestly say that Friday was the best day I’ve had in a very long time. Thank you.
I spent Saturday and Sunday getting my head together. I’ve made such a bad habit of being scared all the time. When I thought about it, I realized there’s nothing really scary in my life. I’ve been hiding from nothing, it seems. I mean, I know scary things still exist, but I’m not in constant danger like I’ve been living. I’m not sure how to come out of it, but I really want to try. Anyway, thanks for Friday. It meant a lot.
~E
E~
You will come out of it, I have no doubt. I’m sure you don’t see how strong you are, but I do. Honestly. I’m sure even holding my hand was nerve-wracking for you, but you let yourself make a connection. I think that’s pretty big. See? You really are a champion.
Friday was a really good day for me, too. I loved finally meeting you in person and spending time with you. It meant a lot that you trusted me enough to be the one you connected with. That was big for me.
~M
M~
I was surprised at how easy it was to trust you. I guess it’s because I got a chance to know you at a safe distance. If you hadn’t written to me, I would still be without any friends.
I really liked seeing you in your neighborhood. People there love you. You know that, right? Seems like you want to protect everyone. That’s a great quality to have. Seeing that only proved what I already knew about you. The connection was easy to make because it was you.
~E
E~
Now it’s my turn to blush.
~M
Erin laughed when she read that note. The thought of Marcus Walker, badass cage fighter,
blushing,
was ridiculous at best. His sense of humor got the butterflies in her chest fluttering around wildly. Everything about him invaded her very being. She really had been overwhelmed by him. As if his easy, trustworthy nature weren’t enough, his physical strength and gorgeous smile sent her spinning.
After spending all day Friday with him, she only wanted more time with him. Still, she was glad to have the rest of the weekend to recover from their day. As beautiful as it was to spend time with Marcus, she didn’t feel ready to jump into whatever they had with both feet. He obviously respected that.
M~
Thanks for giving me the rest of the weekend without me asking. I know why you did that and I appreciate it. You really understand me. But I still don’t want new shoes. I guess some things never change.
~E
~E
Still relieved about the shoes. And yeah, I stayed back for the rest of the weekend because I figured you needed it, but certainly not because I wanted to. Which brings me to my next point. I’d like to see you again…want to catch a movie again Friday night? And by the way, you are more beautiful in person than you are in your picture.
~M
M~
I’d love to. I was hoping I’d get to see you again, too. And by the way, I never even had a picture to compare, but you are more handsome than I could have imagined.
~E
E~
Handsome? That’s a new one. I’ll see you at seven. Until then, champion.
~M
Marcus looked forward to Friday night like a love-sick teenager. He had told Erin he was proud of her for making a connection, but the truth was his own life had been devoid of relationships, as well. With the exception of Cassie and Bill, no one ever got close. This connection with Erin was just as big of a step for him as it was for her.
For Marcus, though, the sheltered existence wasn’t out of fear. For him, remaining closed off was a matter of survival. His focus had always been on protecting himself and anyone else who needed him. He’d never spent much time on his own relationships. Fighting was his companion. Before Erin, that seemed to be enough.
Now, he had the hint of something more. Erin’s presence in his life, however limited, affected him at his core. He found something he didn’t realize was missing. He wanted to know everything about her as much as he wanted to share everything about himself. He didn’t understand any of this, but he knew he needed her. Erin was important.
When Friday rolled around, he drove to her apartment grinning like an idiot. He couldn’t wait to see her again and he laughed at himself for his level of excitement. He was looking forward to her smile and her shy sweetness.
Sweet
wasn’t something he had a lot of in his life; her kind smile made a nice addition to his world.
He pulled in the parking lot of her apartment complex and walked up her sidewalk. The door opened almost immediately after he knocked and he saw her smiling just as wide.
“Come on in, I just need to get my shoes and purse,” she offered.
“Sure,” he said. When she came back from her upstairs bedroom, he kissed her cheek. “You ready?”
She blushed through her smile and nodded. “What are we going to see?”
Another comedy would keep things light, so they decided on a Jim Carrey movie. Marcus bought their tickets and guided her through the theater with his hand at the small of her back.
“Do you want any popcorn?” he offered.
“No thanks. Look at how much they charge for snacks.” She wrinkled her nose at the thought.
Marcus laughed. He was sure that she had money to spare, and still she didn’t take it for granted. She didn’t flaunt her salary or show off with designer clothes or flashy accessories. The word ‘snob’ didn’t seem to be in her vocabulary. Marcus added that to the list of reasons why he liked Erin.
“So true.” He reached for her hand and she laced her fingers with his without hesitation. He smiled to himself and found them seats for the movie. During one of the trailers, Erin leaned over to his ear.
“We should see that one when it comes out. It looks hilarious,” she said smiling.
“Are you asking me out?” he said, teasing her.
Erin looked at him, half smiling and wondering what to say. Her expression only caused him to smile with an ornery glint in his eye. “Cause I would say yes if you were.”
Erin laughed. “Then yes. Marcus Walker, will you go on a date with me?”
“Yes,” he said leaning over to kiss her on the cheek again. The gesture earned him another grin and he rested his hand on her leg. She covered his hand with hers, holding him there. His heart skipped a few beats. Her presence was electricity.
They laughed again through the movie and Marcus never let his hand move from her leg. At one point in the movie she rested her head on his shoulder and left it there. Once he even leaned down to kiss her hair, loving their connection all over again.
As they walked out of the theater, Marcus put his arm around Erin and tucked her in beside him. Again, she responded warmly to his touch. She leaned her head against his chest for a moment before straightening herself to walk with him. He walked them to her car and held the door for her.
Before she got into his clunker he leaned down and kissed her very softly. She looked at him with a smile before he helped her in and closed the door for her. A smile played on his own lips as he walked around the car. The date was going exactly as he had hoped. Erin wasn’t nervous and their connection was just as easy as he remembered from last weekend.
The car ride home was filled with laughter as they recounted their favorite scenes from the movie. He pulled up to her apartment still laughing. When they got out of the car, this time her hand reached out for his. He walked her to the door and kissed he sweetly again.
“Do you want to come in?” she asked, a little nervously.
“No, I better leave you here,” he said, smiling warmly at her. “Besides, I have to work tonight. But can I see you tomorrow?”
Erin nodded her head, looking half relieved and half disappointed that he didn’t come in. “I’ll make you lunch. Be here at 11:30?”
“Perfect,” Marcus smiled.
He leaned down and kissed her goodbye, first softly and then with the slightest intensity. This time she parted her lips first, letting his tongue dance slowly with hers for a long moment. He broke the kiss slowly, then leaned his forehead against hers and smiled.
“Good night, Erin. I’ll see you tomorrow.” He hated to leave, but he walked back to his car, feeling like a champion because of the look on her face. He had left her smiling and with no fear…a victory for both of them.
Erin woke up Saturday morning absolutely elated. Marcus was even better than she could have hoped for. Not only was he as easy to be around as he was to write to, he respected her guarded nature. He understood her so easily. She wasn’t sure why she deserved someone like that in her life, but she appreciated his willing patience with her.
She forced herself out of her daydreams and into the shower. A trip to the grocery store was in order for lunch supplies. She knew from their breakfast last week that a man his size wasn’t going to survive on salad and cottage cheese like she did.
In spite of her Irish heritage, Italian food had always been the favorite of hers growing up and was the only thing she knew how to cook with any degree of skill.
She showered and dressed and even spritzed on a little perfume for her trip to the store. She browsed the pasta aisle and decided on lasagna for lunch. She hoped he would like her choice. Lasagna was the heartiest meal she knew how to cook. After she picked up everything she needed, she went home to prepare.
She figured she would have just enough time to assemble their lunch and have it ready to come out of the oven by noon. That would give her a half hour with Marcus before they sat down to eat. The thought of that made her smile. She was hoping for some time in his arms on the couch again. She never felt so good as that.
She got home and got to preparing the meal. At 11:30 exactly, Marcus knocked on her door. He was in jeans and a dark blue crew-neck tee, but he looked amazing. That shirt did nothing to hide his strong muscles and she had to force herself not to ogle him. She was glad that she had chosen jeans, too. They were a perfect fit.
“Hi,” she said. “Come on in.”
“Thanks,” he said. “Lunch smells amazing in here.”
“Thanks. Italian is about the only thing I make. I hope you’re in the mood for it.”
“Yeah, I love it.”
Marcus made himself comfortable on her couch while she returned to the kitchen, gathering plates and setting them on her little cafe table. Her table wasn’t very big, so she set the salad on the counter and arranged a hot pad so it was ready for the lasagna. Her counter would have to serve as a buffet. When everything was set up, there was still about 20 minutes before the lasagna would be done.
Erin walked over to the couch wanting to sit right down on his lap again, but there was no way she could be that bold. She did, however, have enough confidence to sit beside him and welcome his arm around her shoulders.
“Thanks for coming,” Erin said to him. “I have to admit I thought you might not want to see me this weekend at all. I’m glad all my crying and blubbering didn’t scare you off.”
Marcus laughed. “Takes a lot more than that to scare me away. A shopping habit, however, would have sent me screaming in terror.”
Erin laughed at the reference to one of their many playful conversations from the months of getting to know each other in the notebook.