Waiting for You (RightMatch.com Trilogy) (23 page)

Immediately, Dana was ashamed of her selfish thinking. Forcing herself to take deep breaths, she calmed. How on earth could she even think of denying her friend the new happiness she’d found after all Ruth had already sacrificed for Dana’s welfare? For a moment, Dana prayed for strength and the poise to say the right thing.

“Dana, did you hear me?” Ruth asked.

“Yes. This comes as a bit of a surprise. It’s only been six weeks or so since you’ve been seeing him.”

“I know. But he says he’s sure of how he feels, and why waste time this late in our lives? He’s being an absolute tyrant about this.”

“What do you mean?”

More tears streamed down her cheeks. “He says if I don’t agree to marry him, he won’t see me again.”

“That is pretty autocratic. And it doesn’t at all sound like the Jeremy you’ve told me about.”

Ruth’s brows raised. “It’s not. He never insists on his own way. He says he loves me so much, he can’t bear it if I—” She stopped talking before she could finish the sentence.

“If you choose me over him.”

Ruth simply nodded. “That’s ridiculous. It’s like asking me to forsake my daughter.”

Again, Dana forcibly pushed back thoughts of life without Ruth and tried to think rationally. “Do you love him, Ruth?”

“Of course I do. I feel so young, so energized and happy. But Dana, this is too fast, and I…I don’t want to move out of this house.”

Now Dana grasped both of Ruth’s hands. “Listen to me, Ruth. I can survive without you living here. There are many options.”

Closing her eyes briefly, Ruth shook her head. “Like what?”

“Well, you’re not here a lot of mornings now and still come over to do range-of-motion exercises and massage my legs. Or I could hire an occupational therapist to take over those visits. I can also hire a masseuse. I have plenty of money to pay for what I need.”

“No, Dana, I’m not ready to make this decision so fast.” Her face colored. “I was hoping maybe you and Joe would eventually—”

“Whoa. Don’t go there. We’re not nearly as far along as you two apparently are. Your future can’t possibly depend on my love life.” It was hard enough for Dana to deal with the commitments she’d made to her relationship with Joe. That Ruth’s future could be dependent on the outcome was unthinkable.

Sniffles and a shake of her head. “That’s what Jeremy said.”

“He’s a wise man. And a good one, Ruth.”

“He’s stubborn and inflexible. I have to think about him being so demanding in this. It’s a side of him I don’t know and don’t like.”

Dana wheeled back. “Well, that’s fair. I wouldn’t want you to do anything rash. Just remember that his selfishness, as you call it, is because he wants you as his wife. That’s a hard thing to blame him for.”

Drying her cheeks with her palms, Ruth stood. “I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Let’s go do some exercises, then I want to take a shower and grocery shop.”

Dana smiled at her. “All right.”

But after Ruth left, when Dana was in the confines of her own room, staring out at the backyard, a huge swell of doubt and anxiety overcame her. She tried to tell herself a lot of people in wheelchairs lived alone and functioned perfectly well and so could she. It was just that the myriad of details Ruth dealt with seemed overwhelming. Dana hadn’t realized until right now how safe, how secure, how incredibly loved Ruth made her feel.

Stop it, Dana. She’ll still be an important part of your life.

Of course. They’d be working together, see each other socially, but there was no denying their relationship wouldn’t be the same. And on this pretty, late-September morning, the thought threatened to swallow Dana up into the same big black hole that had encompassed her for a long time after the accident.

o0o

“Rock stars. God, I hate these assignments.” Joe made the quip as he patrolled the backstage of the Auditorium Theater while Loosen Up drilled out some god-awful, heavy-metal music on stage.

“Yeah, but listen to the kiddies.” Shelly sat on a chair, sipping a cup of the coffee she’d just gotten for them. She’d been patrolling her own section of the cavernous space, as had Joe’s other men, because the band had gotten some threats, and the mayor, not wanting an incident in Rockland, had requested Joe’s team be sent in. Usually he liked being the go-to guy, but he was getting too old for this kind of event.

The group continued to play as he checked with the other officers for updates. No problems were evident, so he leaned against a wall, watched the gyrations on stage and tried to block out the noise. Thankfully, the band took an intermission, which was when Joe and his staff went on full alert. Two people had been assigned to the lead singer, Loose (hence the band’s name); they flanked him as soon as he came offstage. “What are ya doin’, dude?” Loose asked Joe when he walked over to them.

“We’ll escort you to your dressing room.”

“Don’t want no police in my private pad with me.”

“I’m sorry, Loose,” Joe said easily, trying to avoid an eruption from the volatile band leader. “We’ve been assigned to protect you.”

“I gotta have some space.” The kid’s tone turned surly.

Translated,
I gotta smoke up before my next set
. Joe had discussed the band’s well-known drug use with his captain, who’d gotten strict orders from the chief not to bust Loose Lincoln for pot. That galled Joe. Hell, some of the kids out there weren’t much older than Kara. The antics of Loosen Up were a bad example. But the chief, probably acting on the mayor’s orders, had been clear with his instructions. Safety was their only concern.

Though he was genuinely irked by the orders, the drug thing only added to his resentment of this job tonight. He wanted to be with Dana instead of babysitting this punk and his groupies. His and Dana’s upcoming weekend was already going to be halved because he had to go to Buffalo to present a workshop on tactics for handling eruptions of school violence.

Once Loose had been ensconced in his lair for fifteen minutes, with two guards outside his door, Joe walked the backstage perimeter. Nothing suspicious. When he returned to the dressing room, he sat in a hall chair next to the uniform and told him to go get coffee. Alone, Joe turned his thoughts to something more pleasant—Dana. He could still picture her the other day when she’d let him see her legs—the wariness and a bit of fear in her expression but also determination. Her limbs were thin and withered, a lot like his dad’s had gotten by the end, but Joe had concentrated on the fact that she trusted him enough to let him see the deformity. The two of them were getting really close, and though he still felt a few twinges of anxiety over his reactions now and again, for the most part he was thrilled about the progress they’d made.

Soon, the band headed back to the stage. Joe wished he had earplugs, or something to block out the infernal noise. It was going to be a long night.

At four a.m., when he climbed into his bed, barely able to think straight, he fell asleep in minutes. The blaring phone woke him at six. “What the hell?” He’d barely closed his eyes. “Moretti,” he said after he grabbed the cell.

“Hi, Joe, this is Tammy Baker.”

His mind was fuzzy. “Who?”

“Nurse Baker from the hospital. I have some bad news that I hate delivering over the phone, but I thought you should know.”

Alarm tightened his gut and a terrible foreboding assaulted him. “Just tell me.”

“Yancy died in his sleep during the night. The early morning bed-check nurses found him.”

Joe clutched the phone. He couldn’t get his mind to work for a minute. Then, he saw the boy asking Joe to play games with him, calling him
Officer Joe
, wanting to flirt with a girl at the hospital and asking Joe’s advice. The child would never play baseball again, never go out with Joe to a Red Wings game, never grow up or fall in love.

“I’m sorry,” the nurse said soothingly. “I know how much you cared about him.” Everybody in the hospital had.

“I, um, do. Did. Are his parents there?”

“Yes, but they’ll be leaving soon. It’s so heartbreaking, Joe. All the nurses are crying. Sometimes I hate this job. Getting close to these kids.”

So do I
. “I’m sorry for you, too,” was all he could think of to say.

“Take care. I’ll let you know about the arrangements.”

Sleep was out of the question, but Joe lay back down, thinking of Yancy and how resilient the boy had been. Hell, he’d even compared the boy’s outlook to Dana’s.

No, no, there was no comparison. Dana didn’t have cancer, she wasn’t going to die from her injuries. There was no parallel between the two of them. She was just in a wheelchair. Shit, why was he thinking about this, when Yancy lay dead in the hospital?

He knew the answer. Because he didn’t want to think about the young boy he’d come to love and was never going to see again. He wanted to escape the reality, run from it, just like he always did when a tragedy happened.

Some grown-up he was.

o0o

Joe often dropped Kara off early at the dance studio for her six o’clock class Thursday, visited with Dana, then she’d teach the session. Initially, she hadn’t called him about Ruth because she didn’t want his opinion right away on her friend’s circumstances. He was so forceful sometimes, so sure of himself, and she didn’t need him to sway her decision. By class time, though, she was ready to discuss the situation with him. Now she wanted his opinion, his advice, which was a really good sign. So she was surprised to see his daughter rush into the office fifteen minutes before class started with the beautiful Leona behind her.

“Oh, Miss Dana, it’s so awful.”

She grabbed Kara’s hands. “What’s wrong, honey?”

“It’s Daddy’s little friend from the hospital. He died.”

“Yancy? Yancy died?”

“Yes. During the night. Daddy called to say he couldn’t bring me here for class. He didn’t come over to see us or anything today, and I hate that he’s home alone.”

She looked to Leona, who’d always been civil to her. Actually, more than that. After Kara informed Joe she’d told her mom about the two of them, Leona had been supportive of the relationship, even wished Dana good luck.

Now the woman approached Dana. “Joe always gets like this when something bad happens. Don’t take it personally.”

Kara said again, “I hate that he’s alone.”

Leona shook her head. “I have an appointment at seven that I can’t change. I was wondering if Kara could stay here for a bit and wait till I can get back.”

“Of course. We have two classes after hers so we’ll be here until nine.”

Kara held up a book bag. “I brought my homework. I won’t be a bother.”

“Sweetie, you couldn’t be a bother if you tried to.”

Ruth had come up to the doorway and heard the conversation. “Where’s Kaelyn, Leona?”

Leona rolled her pretty blue eyes. “She’s in the car. I have to take her with me to a client’s house. I couldn’t get a sitter on such short notice. Joe was supposed to be with her.”

“She can stay with me,” Ruth volunteered.

Leona hesitated, glanced at Dana, who nodded. Then Joe’s ex said, “Well, she talks about you all the time, Mrs. Cosgrove.”

“Ruth, please. Kae hasn’t gotten to spend much time with me since school started, so I’d love her company.” Ruth gave a genuine smile, though Dana knew she’d been upset all day.

“If you’re sure.”

“I am. Go get her.”

“I’ll just send her back. Thanks for doing this for me.” To Dana, she said again, “Don’t worry about Joey. He’ll deal with this in his own way,” and left.

Kae came rushing in and hurled herself at Ruth. “Oh, Ruth, I feel so bad for Daddy. He wouldn’t even let us help him.”

“People need to deal with things in their own way, honey.” But she shot a concerned glance at Dana. They both knew isolating yourself during a tragedy carried a whole host of problems.

Joe was home licking his wounds. He’d said once he turned into himself in times like these, a fact she understood because she did it, too. However, he’d come over the night of the fire at Bergman’s and brought her out of her funk. She made a quick decision.

“Ruth, I’m going to Joe’s house after I talk to Casey about the class.” Casey was her demonstrator tonight, a fourth-year college student who taught the younger kids on her own. “She’s more than capable of handling an advanced class.”

 “Go ahead, I’ll keep things moving here.”

“Thanks, Miss Dana,” Kara added, then left. Kae went with her.

Dana shook her head. “Why are so many bad things happening at once? First you and Jeremy. Now this.”

“Hush. My issues are nothing compared to what’s happened to that poor boy. Go help Joe.”

Casey was pleased at the opportunity to fill in as primary instructor for the advanced kids and knew by heart the plan for the class. Dana left the studio and drove to Joe’s with a heavy heart. She hoped she had the words to help him. She hoped he’d let her.

The front of the house was dark. But when she pulled into the driveway, she could see light coming from the back. After getting out of her car, she wheeled up the ramp and rang the bell. No answer. She leaned on the buzzer. Still, no answer. She tried the handle, and of course it was locked. He was a cop, after all. Since Dana didn’t have a key, she banged on the door, calling out his name. Finally he opened it.

His face was set in stern lines and his eyes were dark with sorrow. He swallowed hard when he saw her. “What are you doing here? You have Kara’s class right now.”

“I let the demonstrator teach it. I came to see how you are.”

His body stiffened and he stepped back. “I don’t want to see you. Or anybody.”

Lifting her chin in haughty ballerina style, she faced him down. “Yeah, well, I tried that on you after the debacle at Bergman’s and it didn’t work. The tactic’s not going to work from your end with me, either.” She pushed the chair forward and he was forced to move even farther back. Wheeling inside, she turned just as he closed the door and gave her a rock-hard stare. “Really, Dana, I don’t want to talk about this.”

“We don’t have to talk. Just let me be here for you, Joey. Like you’ve been for me. Remember how you said sharing burdens makes them lighter?”