I never talked too much when he was like this, because I didn’t want to say the wrong thing. I just wanted to make sure that everything would proceed as planned. This had to work out and I didn’t plan to say anything to change things. I didn’t pressure him. I just prayed there would be no hiccups.
There was still a sense of discomfort when we went into the doctor’s office. When Dwight reached for my hand, I knew his spirit had returned. Once I was on the table and prepared to discover the sex of our child, he was smiling and gloating that he knew we were having a boy. He was right. I was going to give birth to his son. He kissed me and it made me feel good that I was giving him something that he always wanted and almost had to face the reality of never having. That is, until he met me. Maybe our relationship was destined. He gave me something that I never thought I wanted and I gave him what he always wanted.
The nurse printed the film. “Here you go, Daddy. Here’s the first picture of your son.”
It made me feel so good to witness the joy on his face as he thanked her. I reached for the picture. “Let me see.”
He looked again. “Little Dee.”
“Yes, that’s Little Dee.”
He laid the picture on his chest and then handed it to me. I looked at it and asked him to show me how they knew it was a boy. He was so proud as he pointed to the body parts. He held my hand and helped me off the table when the nurse left.
As I put my clothes on, he said, “I can’t believe you put it on me and got me sprung.”
I laughed. “Stop being silly.”
“I’m not.” He continued, “Now you’re about to be my baby-mama.” I cringed, because I vowed to myself that I would
never
carry that title. It just sounded so inadequate. His paced slowed. “ . . . and my wife.”
I looked up from putting my leg in my pants and Dwight was dangling a diamond solitaire between his thumb and index fingers. Our whirlwind love affair flashed before my eyes. All the things he promised me were becoming real. He proved to be everything I didn’t realize a man could be. As I stood there in amazement, he smiled.
Still, I stood frozen. Although we’d talked in great lengths about the next step in our relationship, I never trusted that he would choose me. I guess a piece of me always feared that the first wife prevails time after time, but not this time. This time I’d won.
“Don’t do this to me right now. Say something. Say yes. Say no.”
“Yes, yes. Of course, I’ll be your wife.”
He hugged me and I chuckled to myself. All morning I was sad because I thought he was sad and all the while he was just preoccupied with popping the question, or should I say, with telling me that I would be his wife. Suddenly, all I could do was thank him. I thanked him for being everything my father wasn’t. I thanked him for proving all my friends wrong. I thanked him for being man enough to let go of a wife who wasn’t meant for him. I held him tightly and thanked him for teaching me how to love.
When we left the doctor’s office, I began to cry tears of victory inside the car. Before calling everyone to brag, I tried to get myself together. He rubbed my knee and with every gesture he confirmed he was there for me.
With tears still streaming down my face, I called my mother. “Ma, guess what?”
“What are you having?”
Her excitement about the baby excited me and I said, “I’m having a wedding”—I looked at Dwight—“a small wedding. Dwight asked me to marry him.”
Her voice lowered. “Is his divorce final yet?”
My eyes shifted, because while I’d already begun rejoicing, my mother reminded me there was just one semi-hurdle before we could cross the finish line. I was excited about the intent, but my mother wasn’t. She was a mother, concerned about my feelings.
“Well, the attorney said she hasn’t contested it and she told Dwight she wouldn’t. So it will be absolute on the court date, and that’s this Friday.”
My eyes questioned Dwight if that was correct. He nodded and said, “And we’re going to apply for our marriage license on Monday.”
She asked me to repeat what he said and I did. Her doubtful sighs scared me. A part of me wondered if she was slightly jealous that this never happened to her or if her concern was valid.
“Okay, Ma. I just wanted to let you know. We’re going to lunch. I’ll talk to you a little later.”
“How do you know I don’t want to celebrate with you guys?”
“Ma . . .”
“Okay, just leave me out.”
She sounded pitiful, but I couldn’t handle her fact-checking. Just let me be in the moment. All the technicalities would be ironed out in due time.
Dwight and I went out with my girls to break the news together. He was a nearly divorced man and we were facing a future together. By the time the whole crew arrived, we’d told the story in a bunch of little pieces.
Dwight was all of our success. He belonged to the crew and above all, he gave everyone hope again. Dreams do come true. I never imagined actually planning my life with someone and transitioning from me to we.
Dwight got a call from work in the middle of our evening. He looked at me. “Somebody would have to fall in love and now I gotta be up late nights alone.”
I laughed. “Well, I apologize. You could have been the one to change jobs. But you wanted me to leave. Right?”
“You’re right.”
He kissed my cheek. “Gina, will you make sure my baby gets home safely?”
She raised her martini glass. “Sure will.”
“That means you need to put that glass down.”
“Don’t count my drinks.”
He laughed and kissed me again. “Baby, let me know if I need to come back and pick you up.”
“I will.”
Before he hit the door, my girls slapped me fives like we’d won the championship. “You put it on him, girl,” Tammy said.
Andrea shook her head. “That’s the quickest divorce and remarriage I’ve seen in my life.”
Tammy nodded slowly. “Hell yeah, they all claim they’re leaving and none of them ever go through with it.”
We all looked at her and shook our heads, because we knew she was speaking from her own hurt. I don’t know who laughed first, but then we all began laughing. Not that we were laughing at her. We laughed at the game and why the hell do we actually believe they’re leaving. A part of me believed and the other half didn’t, but I guess it just confirms what kind of man Dwight actually is. I reverted back to what he told me when we first met.
I’m cut from a different cloth
. And that he is . . . and he would be mine in just about two weeks.
On the ride home, Gina asked, “Is he nervous about jumping out of one marriage and right into a new one?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I think he’s just the settling-down type. He believes that a man needs a woman to reach his full potential.”
“I understand, but it just seems so fast.”
I thought so, too, but I wasn’t going to tell him to be patient and miss my chance at happiness. I wanted it while he wanted it. We wanted to be together and waiting was not an option. I definitely had no desire to be a single mother.
“Does his wife . . .” My eyes shot at her and she reworded it. “Does his ex-wife know about you?”
“I don’t know. I try not to talk about her. All I know is that they are practically divorced and we’re engaged. That’s all that matters to me now.”
“I was just asking, because it just seems like she let go really easy.”
“Honestly, it seems to me that she wanted this as much as he does.”
“How are you guys going to manage with his kids? I mean, he seemed like he was a good father and . . .”
“We haven’t really discussed it.”
I tried to sound irritated, to let her know that I’d had enough of her interrogation. We’d deal with all of that stuff after I am Mrs. Wilson. My first goal is to get down the aisle and then I’ll have jurisdiction.
Tracey
T
racey, I have to get out of this house before I kill somebody,” Danielle cried into my ear over the telephone.
“What’s wrong now, Danielle?” I sighed.
“Reggie is acting stupid. I need to get away from him, before I kill him.”
“What did he do now?”
“Everything. I’m just tired, I can’t take it anymore. Because I’m not worrying about him anymore. I’m about to get unmarried to him. Get an annulment! Something!”
“Danielle, shut up,” I said.
“Why you telling me to shut up? I’m serious; I’m really done.”
“You say that you’re done every time.”
“No, I’m for real this time. Don’t you know, a girl called me and told me she went to dinner with my husband last night.”
“How she get your number?” I asked.
Danielle paused and said, “Well, I went through his phone and dialed all his outgoing numbers and she picked up and I asked her, ‘Do you know my husband, Reggie?’ She said yes and then she told me everything. I’m coming to your house. Let’s just go somewhere and talk. Okay?” she asked.
“Alright.”
Wade came over and watched his nieces while I stepped out with Danielle. We went to a little restaurant near my house and the place was almost empty. We sat at a table near the window and looked over our menus. It didn’t take any time for Danny to break down and cry. She poured her heart out to me about Reggie as soon as our food came. I had to scoot my chair next to her to keep her from losing it. She said she wanted him to stop cheating and just be happy with her, how she would give him anything he wanted if he was just faithful. I wanted to tell her to leave his ass. But we all told her before so it wasn’t worth repeating. As she talked my mind began thinking about Dwight. I was happy he was not a cheat like Reggie. He was a genuine good man and father. When we were on good terms we didn’t have those kind of problems. At that moment I was questioning why I was even beefing with Dwight. Our only problem in our marriage was about location. If we had the right location we would be fine. We didn’t have all these other issues about cheating and women calling his phone. I wanted to call Dwight. I wanted to call him and tell him to come home. But I shouldn’t have to. I came out of my daze and shook my head at Danny a couple of times to let her think I was actually paying attention to her ranting.
“You know what I’m saying. I’m not wrong, am I?” she asked.
“Not at all,” I said, not knowing what she was talking about. Then she stood up, took a deep breath, and wiped her face with her hands to keep the tears back. I patted her back and assured Danny it was going to be okay a couple of more times. I was consoling her about her marriage and I needed someone to console me on mine.
Dwight’s morning phone call came in as usual, a little after eight. I called out, “Jordan, your father’s on the phone.”
I didn’t bother to say hello. As I handed the phone to her, I thought I heard him yelling my name through the receiver. I’d been making him stay at Mama Dee’s for the past few months. I knew that the thought of me with another man would make him wake up. I’m sure Mama Dee told him I’d been going out with Danielle and her friends. And since he left, he’d been asking the girls to put me on the phone and I’ve been hanging up.
After he spoke with both of the girls, Destiny handed the phone to me. “Mommy, here. Daddy say it’s important.”
“I bet,” I said as I put the phone on the hook. As I hustled the girls out of the house, my phone kept ringing. Finally, once I sat in the car, I checked my messages. Dwight said, “Tracey, I’m just calling to let you know today is our court date and the divorce will be final if you don’t contest it. If this is what you want, you don’t have to do anything.”
I hung up the phone and rolled my eyes in my head. I sped down the highway to take the girls to school. It seemed as if no one wanted to answer their phone. I called Mama Dee. I called Danielle. I needed to remember why I was about to let my marriage go. Finally, I called Dwight. Maybe we shouldn’t be so hasty. He answered, sounding almost desperate.
“Dwight, divorce is final. Are you sure you want this? Don’t you think we should stop playing games?”
“I don’t know, but I know that I don’t want to play games with you, either,” Dwight said.
“I’m not playing games, you are. I’ve told you, pay my bills and you can have your divorce.”
“Trace, I’m on my way into a meeting. It’s very sad that we can’t talk like civilized adults. You have a lot of growing up to do.” He hung up the phone.
I slammed on the brakes and made a quick U-turn and headed to the courthouse. I didn’t know what time the appointment was, but out of the clear blue sky a sudden urge to stop this divorce came over me. Maybe that’s what Dwight wanted me to do. That’s why he was calling frantically. Maybe I wasn’t doing the right thing about my marriage. Maybe I’ve been immature and wasn’t handling everything properly, but it wasn’t too late to stop it. Or maybe it was. I didn’t know. As much as I wanted to prove to Dwight that I didn’t need him, I couldn’t lie to myself. I desperately wanted Dwight to come back home. I was tired of him living the free life in Maryland. I thought about being a real single mom. I thought about having to go out in the world and find another special person like Dwight. And then I came to the conclusion there wasn’t anyone else. I didn’t know how to tell him right now, but there was no way he was getting a divorce. I walked into that courthouse and contested the entire divorce. I didn’t know what I would do afterward exactly, but I knew I couldn’t let Dwight go like this. I needed a few more months to take this all in. When I arrived at the hearing, his attorney had already left the courtroom, but the judge still heard my case and withdrew my divorce.
Alicia
C
all me ignorant, but I really never knew why people called weddings that occurred because a woman was pregnant
shotgun weddings
. I heard that nearly a hundred times since we got engaged. Even I began to say that I was having a shotgun wedding. When I discovered the origin of the term, that back in the day, a father would make a man marry his daughter or he’d shoot him, I was highly offended. It got to the point that when someone would jokingly say it, I corrected them. This marriage is completely voluntary. It would have happened whether I was pregnant or not.