She knew that, but the question she couldn’t answer was whether she was strong enough to give up Matt.
Chapter Nine
“Hello?” Matt said when he answered his phone on Sunday evening.
“Hi, Matt,” Ariel said.
At the sound of her voice, he smiled and leaned back, feeling tension he hadn’t even known was there leave.
“Hi, Ariel,” he said.
“Sorry to interrupt, but Dani has a question,” she said.
Matt was surprised and couldn’t begin to fathom what his four-year-old buddy wanted.
“Sure. Put her on,” he said.
He heard Ariel pull away and then heard a muffled conversation though he couldn’t quite make out the words. A moment later, he heard Dani’s childlike breaths over the phone.
“Is that Dani-girl?” he asked, smiling even brighter and surprised yet again, but this time at how happy he was at the prospect of talking to her. It had been several days since he’d seen them, and he’d missed them both.
“Hi, Dr. Matt,” she said, sounding tentative and shy, things he knew Dani was not.
“Hey, sweetie. What’s up?” he asked.
“Umm… I go to school tomorrow,” she said.
He’d forgotten, which should have been impossible with how much the girl had talked about it.
“You excited?”
“Yeah.”
“Is your backpack ready?” he asked, almost laughing out loud when he thought about how Dani had almost burst with pride as she’d shown him her backpack and the special pencils and notebook she had.
“Yeah.”
“So…” Matt trailed off, not quite sure where else to take the conversation, especially since Dani was being so unusually reticent.
He heard Ariel whispering in the background and then Dani’s deep sigh before the girl said, “Would you walk me to school?”
“Can you put your mommy on the phone?”
“He can’t see you nodding over the phone, Dani. Go put on your jammies while I talk to Dr. Matt,” Ariel said. Then she spoke to him. “Sorry. I hadn’t planned on calling, but she would not stop talking about the big day and how much she wanted you to walk her. I shouldn’t have given in, but I’d like to get some sleep tonight, and that was not going to happen until she talked to you.”
Matt laughed, imagining that Dani was stubborn in the exact same way as her mother, who often denied it.
“Well, I’m flattered,” Matt said.
“Good, but please don’t feel obligated. I know you have other things to do, and I wouldn’t want her getting the wrong idea…”
“And what’s the wrong idea?” Matt asked. He didn’t like how defensive he sounded, but Ariel’s words had sparked irritation.
“You know, Matt,” she said.
“Explain it to me,” he said, voice tight.
“I have to set an example. I can’t be…”
“Be what? A human?” he said.
“Be tramping around with a bunch of different guys,” she said.
“You’re seeing someone else, Ariel?” he asked, voice tight and blood pressure steadily rising.
“Of course not!”
Relief at her answer slackened some of the anger he felt but didn’t dissipate it entirely. “Then you’re not ‘tramping around with a bunch of guys,’ so there shouldn’t be a problem.”
“Matt…”
“I’d love to take her to school,” he said.
“Ugh, you should have said no. In fact, I
shouldn’t have called. This was a bad idea, Matt. I can’t have this thing spilling over to Dani’s life any more than it already has. I can’t let her get hurt.”
“You don’t think I know that and care about her feelings?”
“I know you do, but I need…”
“Ariel, I understand. But don’t push me out, okay? I won’t hurt you. Either of you. Tell Dani I’ll be there first thing,” he said, and then he hung up.
••••
True to his word, Matt was at her house bright and early the next morning, and when she opened the door to let him in, she was struck by the vision he was. His clothing was nothing special, just jeans and a T-shirt, but even dressed casually, he looked impossibly strong, the clothing covering him while managing to emphasize the sturdy muscles of his body. His face, handsome, almost harsh but softened by the slightly longer than she would have thought hair. An amazing combination, one that set her blood to simmer and sparked a low, needy throb between her thighs.
“You came,” Ariel said, a stupid statement because she’d known he would.
“Should I say hello to the big girl?” he asked.
“Yes. Yes,” Ariel said, turning. There hadn’t been any sting in the words, no censure, but they’d been a great reminder of what she needed to focus on, would focus on as soon as her body started cooperating.
“Look who’s here, Dani!” she called brightly as she walked into the kitchen.
“Hey, Dr. Matt,” Dani said around a mouthful of cereal.
“Can I interest you in Cheerios, Dr. Matt?” Ariel said.
“I’m good,” he said and though he looked positively devastating, the same as always, she felt the upset rippling off him in waves. But he masked it admirably as he sat next to Dani.
“So you’re excited about the big day?” he asked, smiling down at her daughter with a tenderness in his eyes that was almost paternal.
Stop it, Ariel!
She couldn’t let herself think like that, couldn’t risk Dani in that way. And she hurried to cover her thoughts as if speaking would make them not exist.
“Is she ever. Tell Dr. Matt how long it took for you to pick your outfit,” Ariel said.
“Forever. And Mommy wouldn’t let me wear my princess dress.”
Matt laughed and then looked at Dani, smiling. “That’s good, you should save your princess dress for a special occasion. And you look like a princess anyway,” he said.
And she did. Ariel had given in and let her wear her silver glitter sneakers and jeans with little diamond rhinestones sewn on them. It was so quintessentially Dani, Ariel couldn’t help but smile herself. And while she usually didn’t let the girl dress until after breakfast, Dani had been so excited this morning that Ariel had made an exception.
“Hurry up and finish. We wouldn’t want to be late,” Ariel said.
“I’m done,” Dani said quickly, dropping the spoon.
“Drink your milk first,” Matt said.
Dani complied and then stood, reaching for her princess backpack, and moments later, they set off.
The school was only a few blocks away from her house, and as they walked, Ariel held one of Dani’s hands, Matt the other as Dani skip-walked between them, babbling happily about all the things she would do in kindergarten. This morning, the part of it that hadn’t been devoted to thinking of Matt, Ariel had thought about Daniel, how much he would have loved this, how sad it was that he was not a part of it. But now, as they walked, she felt nothing but happiness. It had seemed like only yesterday that she’d held Dani in her arms for the first time, but it had been a lifetime. Her little girl was growing up.
And Matt beside her, fitting in almost seamlessly, was another cause of her happiness. She’d tried in her own feeble way to push him away last night, but he hadn’t budged. That probably showed how much he cared about Dani, nothing more, but she wouldn’t pretend that his presence, whatever the reason for it, didn’t bring her joy.
They reached the school, which practically teemed with kids and their parents. Ariel saw Mandy standing by the front door greeting children as they entered and walked over to her.
“Hi, Ms. Atkins,” Ariel said.
“Are you my teacher?” Dani asked happily.
“In a couple of years,” Mandy said.
Then she looked at Matt. “Hi, Dr. Poole,” she said, and Matt nodded.
“Let me walk Dani in, and I’ll be back in a minute,” Ariel said to Matt.
“I can go in by myself,” Dani said, sounding brave, though she gripped the straps of her backpack tight as she stared at the crowd of children.
“Don’t you want me to see your classroom?” Ariel said.
Dani thought a minute and then nodded. “You come, too, Dr. Matt,” she said.
“Okay,” Matt said, but Ariel could hear the faintest surprise in his voice.
She looked up at him, and he smiled quickly and then dropped the expression. Ariel laughed.
“Didn’t bargain for that, huh?” she asked.
“Not exactly,” he admitted. “But I’m game.”
With good-byes to Mandy, they again set off. Dani seemed to slow as they got closer to the kindergarten class, and when Matt reached for her hand, she held it eagerly, squeezing it, Ariel could see, with all her little might.
“You’re going to have so much fun,” he said.
She nodded, but Ariel didn’t miss the faint tremor in her lip, the way she tried to stop it.
“And you’re going to tell me all about it, right?”
She nodded again, and this time, Ariel swooped down and gave her a hug.
“Have fun. And look, there’s Brandon. I think his cubby is right next to yours. Why don’t you go put your backpack away? I’ll be here to pick you up this afternoon. Love you, Dani.”
“Love you too,” Dani replied, squeezing Ariel tight.
“Now go put your things away and say hi.”
Dani nodded, and then went, and Ariel was halfway worried that she’d break down and start crying. But any nerves the girl had seemed to fly away completely, and by the time she reached Brandon, she was abuzz with energy again and talking animatedly about them being big kids.
“She’ll be fine,” Matt said.
“I know.”
Ariel took a minute to talk to the teacher and then she and Matt left.
“Thank you for coming, even after that conversation last night.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it,” he said. “And, Ariel…” She glanced over at him as they walked down the sidewalk. “I meant what I said.”
She stopped and stared up into his beautiful brown eyes, which were serious, almost somber.
“I…care about you, and I care about Dani. We can take this slow, figure out how you want to handle things, but I won’t hurt her. Or you.”
“I know,” she said and began walking again.
••••
The next few minutes passed in silence and Matt cleared his throat. “So, that was fun. She seemed really excited about it. I hope that enthusiasm for school stays,” Matt said.
But Ariel clearly wasn’t listening and instead moved swiftly down the sidewalk until she climbed the stairs and then unlocked the door to her house.
“When’s your first patient?” she asked distractedly.
“Eleven,” he replied.
She looked at her watch and then up at him, the naked desire in her gaze making all thought of whatever he’d planned to say flee.
“Excellent. I have to be at the shop in an hour, so that gives us twenty minutes. Let’s make them count,” she said as she approached him.
When she reached him, she pulled his T-shirt from his pants and stroked her hands up his torso, the slight roughness of her palms adding the little bit of friction that Matt had come to look forward to.
She stood on her tiptoes and he lowered his head, meeting her in the middle, his lips crashing against hers with a fierce need that had sprung up in the minute they’d been back inside the house. Lips and tongues and teeth clashed in an urgent kiss that was only intensified by the touch of Ariel’s hands against his skin.
As they kissed, he tugged her shirt up, soaking in the feel of her smooth, soft skin, anxious to feel more. She moaned low in her throat when he curved his fingers around her full breast, the hard bead of her puckered nipple standing prominent against the thin fabric of her bra. He squeezed and then swiped the bud. He felt her smile against his lips and then laughed when, after he slipped his hand inside of her bra to touch her breast, she moaned again, the warm puff of her breath against his mouth making desire tug in his cock.
Ariel moved her hand down over his abdomen and then lower, cupping the hard ridge of his erection much the way he cupped her breast. He stilled, soaking in the feel of her palm against him and the anticipation of being inside her again. She squeezed him lightly and then began working on his belt. An excellent idea, so Matt followed suit, releasing the sweet weight of her tit, then skimming his hand down her soft sides and quickly opening her pants.
The first touch of her pussy, wet, clit a hardened nub, sent Matt into overdrive. He toyed with the tight little nub, feeling almost feral with need as Ariel’s breaths came out heavier and her fingers stilled against him. He loved her like this, so needy and desperate that she could do nothing but hold his arms in her tight grip and let him do as he wished.
“You’ve been thinking about this, huh? Missed me touching you like this?” he asked as he stroked a knuckle against her clit.
She closed her thighs, trapping his hand, and arched against him but didn’t respond. He used his free hand to work her pants and panties over her round hips until they were around her knees. Now that he had room to maneuver, he pushed against her thighs with his trapped hand.