Where Did It All Go Right? (40 page)

Wednesday, 18 June

Worry, shit, crap, nervous, worry, worry. Got four photos of
Look East
team to caricature, to practise for Friday. Went Paul’s. Finished self-portrait. Had photos took (me and Paul) for
Mercury & Herald
and
Chronic & Echo
. Fun!? Worry! Nervous!

Friday, 20 June

No crap brick nervous worry any more. Paul and me got picture in
Chronic
advertising our
Look East
appearance. Got home from school at 10.30 and left Northampton at 12.15 in Dad’s car with Paul and Paul’s Dad. Arrived Norwich at 3.15 and went into BHS for a scone and Coke and into WHSmith’s to kill time. Went BBC East studios at 4.00 and met Ian Masters for a chat. Took loads of pictures into the actual recording place and we sort of talked Ian M through a few bits of our work eg. my self-portrait,
Paul’s
Clint picture, my
Psicko
front page, Paul’s
Ben-Hur
. Take 2 worked. Couldn’t use anything white. No white drawings or anything.

Watched our un-live bit at 4.45, and then drew our Tony Scase and Ian Masters caricature pictures up in the drinks room. Drinks, everyone offered us drinks. Spoke to and got autographs off: Ian Masters, Judi Lines, Tony Scase, Bob Bufton and Roger Maynard. It was really fun. Did our live bit at 6.10.

Burned home after burgerish dinner at 7.15. Got back 10.00. Me and Paul got back our Tony and Ian pictures (respectively). Mum and Mrs Garner said that the programme was OK. Gonna see the video of it at Craig’s tomorrow. We get paid you know! Fun!!!!

Friday, 27 June

999: ‘Eyes in the dark become flashing lamps.’

F
= fun thing.
UF
= unfun thing.

F
I had all the afternoon off school.

UF
Because I had to go to the dentist’s.

UF
I had three tooths out.

UF
Gas pain!

F
It didn’t take long and I didn’t puke or anything.

F
I ate loads of food and did some more to my
Poseidon
spoof.

F
Mum made a really fun flan! (eg. flan and real strawberries everywhere + jelly + cream.)

F
I had three slices at various times.

F
My teef (ex) have stopped bleeding.

F
Jon Billingham,
¹¹
Dave, Craig and me went up the school to see their production of
The Mikado
.

F
Matty and Liza were in it.

F
Saw Cindy on the way home. She wants me to show people round on the English open evening with her. Fun.

F
John (next-door) took five photos of me + Paul on TV. Ace prints. He’s given them to me.

F
Got £8.00 appearance (BBC
Look East)
sent to me + £38 expenses for Dad. He’s giving me £15 and Paul £5. FU-UN.

Saturday, 28 June

Money money acting funny anything you gotta do.
¹²

Whole total = £8 + £38 = £46

Whole money for me = £8 + £15 = £23

Money for Paul = £5

Money left for Dad = £46 – (£5 + £23)

= 46 – 28

= £18

Money still left for me to spend

= £23 – (£10 to put in bank + £3.69 999 LP)

= £23 – £13.69

= £9.31, which is equivalent to: two singles, a bottle of ink, Mad.

Tuesday, 15 July

Me and Matty went on the Science Museum trip. It was a good laugh. We went in the Natural History Museum as well. We saw the insects, whale, human biology etc. We both fell asleep on the way back. Fun salad tea. Shower and …

3rd + 4th Year Activity Day Disco in school hall. Went: moi, Craig, Pete, Matt, Dave, Howks, Andy Bonner, Liza, Jo, Cindy, Fiona, Liz H, Spratty, Andy Manton, Jenny, Monroe, Tanya, DD, loads of 3rd year girls. It was fun but there was only one slow record. Mehhhh! as C McK would say. Some exceptional music played: Dead Kennedys, Chords, Police, ‘Jump to the Beat’, Jam, Joy Division.

Saturday, 9 August
HOLS

Came to Jersey … Left our house at 7.05 indy morning. We burned off in the car (only three pee stops) for four hours to Weymouth. A port. We drove onto the Seasink ferry (Sealink then, sorry) called the
Earl Godwin
for some weirdo reason and we had a ‘first time on a ferry for four fifths of us’ – only one
throwing
up (Dad) – loads of packed-up food – wandering around – nice weather 70% – four hour journey to Guernsey (spellt wrong). We ran into a thick fog bank at 5.00 and had annoying, Melissa-worrying, two-minute-interval foghorn blasts. That’s when Dad released some crisps and grapes from his bowels
¹³
onto ‘B’ deck.

Waited for passenger unloading/loading at Geurnsey (spelt rong) half hour, and the
Earl Godwin
burned off to Jersey (one and a half hours). Did you know I got sunburnt just lazing on ‘C’ deck in the wind and sun for half hour. God. Who needs nice weather and holidays if you tan in the Channel?

Arrived at Jerz 8.45-ish. Really ace hotel eg. the Merton – first floor, massive dining lounge, late meal on arrival salad/coffee, gigantico swimming pool (residents only – us), ace bar, supa-clean. Love it. Si, Liss and me got our own room (or ‘rum’ as Pete S would say). Goodo beds.

FACT: I will spend and send (postcards) all f’night.

FACT: Dad smelt of puke all day and had to change.

FACT: Paul is not smelling of puke or on a ferry (I think).

God, there was a nice girl on the ferry. (From Parklands no less.)

Sunday, 10 August

The food is goodo in this un-slummish hotel eg. menus:

Brekky = fruit juice, corn flakes, bacon, egg, tea.

Luncheon = Scotch (Craig) broth, veal salad, apple turnover, coff.

Dinner = egg mimosa, tom soup, roast chick, lem sorbet, cheese, biscs, coff.
¹⁴

Fun food. Dad had a shower. Good. Walked and sat upon Gorey beach. Gorey? What an uncool name for a beach. Went in the ‘residentz only’ pool s’afternoon. It’s big. Massif 15ft diving board (unused by moi), 15ft deep end, 5ft, 3ft, 2ft, slide, deckchairs (not in the pool), pretty warm etc. I got super-red tanned. What a burn. Christ I am burnt. God the itch.

Sat down in the bar after a town-walk tonight for a couple of hours and three beers. Some grannies ballroom danced. There was this really Morris-man-dancing weirdo trying to disco tonight. I want to punch him.

Wednesday, 13 August

Gave my film into the hotel developing service. Be ready by tomoro morn. Fun food: f juice, corn f, boiled eggz, tea. Minestrone, plaice, Bakewell tart. Mushroom soup, Florida cocktail, grilled ham, vanilla slice + cassata denise, c+b, coff.

AM town. Fort Regent – massif sports/leisure etc. complex thing sort of. Became holiday members eg. little photos of us to put on membershit cards. They came out really badly. Dad was looking up; Liss had Dad’s belly in her ear; Si had a curtain on his head; I was leaning over, no expression; Mum just stared into space. Fine …

PM hot. Sat around swimming pool all aftnoon. Tonight: watched Joey Kaye Laughter Show cabaret in ballroom, then watched OAPs dancing. When four fiths of our family disappeared I went down to sit with a load of other kids (five nice girls) from 11.00 till midnight. Disco tomoro.

Saturday, 16 August

Went to a second-hand bookshop and dug out three paperbacks:
Alien
(16p),
Marathon Man
(16p),
Day of the Locust
(10p). Funshop. Food: f juice, c flakes, toast, tea. St Germain soup, ham salad, Madeira sponge + apricot sauce.
Soup de jardinier
(gardener soup), roast veal + sauté pots, mandarin flan, coff. Really nice food.

Leeds lost to Aston Villa 2–1 (Terry Connors) at home. ‘Adamson out.’

AM town and pool.

PM Corbiere Lighthouse walk. It was pretty shitty considering wot it was sposed to be. Just walking. It was hot tho’. Then sat by the pool till dinner.

Si + me sat with the remainders of yesterday’s lot. Four ninths (but the best two ninths) + Keith + Lorraine. It was just ballrooming etc. I bought three drinks. My God, one wasn’t even for me. It was for Paula. Born 14th March 1966. Castlefield, High Wycombe, Bucks.
¹⁵

Monday, 18 August

Average day. Went St Ouens PM. Pool AM. Nice wevva. Menus: (see last Monday except for:)

2. Mock turtle soup, cod, blackb tart.

Why are you so worried about what I eat anyway? Went town smorning. My camera wot I dropped in a bloody rock pool Saturday is completely dead according to the Boots expert. They’ll have a go at developing the film that’s in it but I bought another camera (+ flash + film), same as ex-camera which Dad will pay for with insurance claim dough. Good business this insurance game int it?

Also bought
Breaking Glass
Hazel O’Connor album (£3.00) Boots. Can’t play it but I can look at the cover till 23rd.

Paula and Jackie went out again so moi + Si sat with Lisa and her bloody mate (her Dad bought us two ciders each) who disappeared at 11.00. Danced with two new girls, Karen and a fat one. Not as nice as Paula.

Thursday 21 August

Went Fort Reject (Regent – sorry). Played mini-golf and generally wasted money in amusement arcade. Godknowshowmuch. Went
to
discover Portelet Bay, some Frenchsoundingbloodyname beach and St Ouens (Owens, Oooens, O.N.s, Wons, Oo-ons, Ouens?) It was nothot. Bit windy but dry.

Menus: see last Thurs except:

2. Celery soup, steak chasseur, steam jam sponge.

Tonight, disco, brilliant music. Danced two slow ones with Lisa. Sat + danced with: Lisa, Deb, Liss, Paula, Jackie, Ashley, Tony in general. ‘Went out with’ Paula from 1.00am–1.34am.

Stayed up (too) bloody late. Had one and a half pts cider, one pt lager (and a packet of crisps please). Got hot and nackered and 1.00–1.34 was the best bit of the holiday.

Saturday, 23 August

Had an early breakfast eg. tea and toast. Set off from the Merton 7.00. Sealink (
Caledonian Princess
) left St Helier harber (spellt write) 8.00. Ship didn’t hit icebergs or blow up or even turn over. Pity, I might’ve met Gene Hackman. Met the Welsh couple + kidz who came over to Jerz with us, Mr and Mrs Thomas, would you believe?

Ate all the way home till 4.00. Piled into the car and didn’t get lost at Newbury and stopped at a Wimpy. God I love Wimpys. Home at 9.00-ish for more food. Chips and fish cake from chip shop. Got three
Film Reviews
among the pile of ‘should have been cancelled’
Chronic
s + bills + school report and Pete n Craig postcards etc.

From that ace hol I’ve gained:

A very experienced food palate, a liking for fish, a H O’Connor LP, Diana Ross single, tan, 8 paperbax, some Dad sick on my Harrington, 64 photos, two
Smash Hits
, Paula’s address, two sugar lumps, a new camera, 14 diary filled pages.

And lost:

About £14.
My virginity
.

Friday, 29 August

Dad took me and Pete round somebody-who-put-an-advert-in-
Chron’s
house. It was Steve Morris and he sold me (£30) snare drum (Hayman skin) on Premier stand, tom tom (Prem skin),
cymbal
+ Prem stand and two stix. I love it. But the neighbours probably don’t. I like drums.

I am a filmgoer. Might go to film –
Amityville
– if I can grow six inches tonight. Strain.

Friday, 5 September

Shit, I can’t go to Wembley. Shit, I can’t get any good shoes. Shit, I can’t get any new jeans. Shit, I’ve only got a quid spare cash. Shit, Mum n Dad keep going on at me. Shit.

Monday, 8 September

Ha ha Jimmy Adamson has resigned from Leeds. Ha ha. We don’t care, you big-headed pillock with massif ears! Who will bring Leeds back to supreme power? Bremner, Clarke, Hackman, Lorimer, Hoffman or Charlton (Jack not Heston, Paul).

Bet Gene has never heard of Leeds United Football Club.

Wednesday, 1 October

Went to Farm
¹⁶
disco 7.30–10.45 with Craig and Andy. Pete didn’t turn up. Lots of fun people there: Dawn and Lisa and Kate and Karen and John and Dick and Mick and Mick and Leigh and Andy M. and Tanya and Carly and Zoe, Tracy and Julie and Jo and Terry has had a Jam spike and Neil and a friend of Mick’s and Louise and Cindy and Jane and Toyah and etc. Music was fun. Diana George Jam Whispers etc. there was some ace light-type lights, strobe, flashings, smoke bombs … smoke bombs? Yes. Danced and sweated for 58% (approx) of night and my hair was dripping down my cap-sleeve neck. I left before the end in order to not get garroted by Dad after arriving 11.30 yestday. Everyone (approx) wore baggy trousers eg. Carly a good example. My God! Home at 10.55. No beheading by Dad. I am liquid at the moment. You could drown a hamster with the sweat in my baseball boots. Tired.

Saturday, 4 October

Dave and Paul and Neil came down smorning and Dave bought four singles, one of whom I borrowed eg. ‘Rock And Roll’ by Human League. I’m into it man. I wanna side part my hair and wear thin black ties and button-down collar black shirts and black baggies.
¹⁷

Wednesday, 29 October

The following things are wrong with me:

I eat too much junk food.

I haven’t done Dad’s office a Xmas card yet.

I have only seen eight Gene films.

I sometimes get spots on my legs.

My teeth are crooked.

I want to go out with a girl from another county.

I laughed at a prison officer on BBC with Paul.
¹⁸

I can only swim 100 metres.

I played terrible at squash on Tuesday.

I was late for
Pressure.
¹⁹

I missed
Covenant With Death
(Geno) yonx ago.

I don’t eat enough vegetables.