Where I Wanna Be (40 page)

Faith sat on the toilet and silently cried for an hour, stifling her tears by biting down on her fist so she wouldn’t wake Nathan.

The day after wasn’t as bad as the previous morning. She actually got a little sleep the night before. She was even able to eat a little. Yet, emotions were still raw. She felt her heart shatter with each cry. She could admit she slept a little easier the night before, but she still tossed and turned. She had to crack open a bottle of wine from the mini-bar just to give her some rest. The thought of doing so made her angrier at Eli. She always made it a point not to drink in front of Nathan, or any children. Now she needed to have a glass of wine so she could fall asleep.

Bastard. How dare he give up on his family so easily? How dare he just walk out on them without a fight? And then the asshole had the
nerve
to get mad at her for wanting to take their son on a vacation so they could escape from everything? He was out show-boating his newest piece of pussy and there was Faith, playing the new role of single mother, lines she had yet to learn and memorize.

How could she hate someone with the same fervor she once loved?

Faith quickly wiped her tears and turned on the shower. If she hurried, she could shower and be ready before Nathan woke up. It always seemed to take him forever to get ready. Faith then remembered Eli always took care of that so she didn’t have to. “
I swear he’s going to grow up like his Zio Joey and Lord help us all if that happens,
”
Eli smiled at her.

“
Better his Zio Joey than his Nonno Giorgio,” Faith muttered. She was in the middle of getting undressed when her cell phone rang. Eli was calling her. Faith shook her head and watched the phone buzz on the countertop. What on Earth did he have to say to her? To rub his relationship with Simone in her face? Faith ignored his phone call and stepped into the shower. Maybe after she showered, she would be of sound mind to deal with her ex.

She closed her eyes and let the hot water beat on her skin, washing away the prior day’s dirt and grime and, hopefully, the anger she felt in her heart. She would need to adjust to being a single mother. She would need to figure out a schedule between her and Eli regarding Nathan when she returned to Harlem. Where was she going to stay? The house was in Eli’s name, a purchase he made before they got married. Great. Now she needed to look for a new home. What about her salon? Eli was also a partner in that and invested a significant amount of money into it. She would need to buy him out.

She leaned against the tile and wiped at the tears falling down her cheeks. She would have to buck up and move on. There were single mothers in worst positions than she was in. She was wealthy and lived in a million-dollar home, and not on the street wondering when her next meal was going to be. Single mothers came into her salon all the time, exhausted about their schedules but still thankful for what they had.

Faith would have to prove to everyone she was fine before Eli, and she would be doing just fine without him.

****

It was weird not seeing his son in the mornings. Nathan always woke up early and climbed downstairs to watch cartoons on the big-screen TV in the family room. He would patiently wait for his mother and father to wake up a short while later and feed him breakfast. His favorite was always pancakes. His favorite fruits were strawberries and blackberries. Eli was getting ready to teach him how to love vegetables before everything happened.

Before everything went to shit.

Your actions affected our son, who wondered why Daddy wasn’t around to make him pancakes.
Faith’s words haunted Eli that morning. He had never gone without seeing his son for more than two days and it was usually due to short romantic weekends with Faith. Now she’d taken his son away from him. Granted, it was only for a vacation, but there was no telling how things were going to be when they returned home. Was Faith going to fill Nathan’s head with evil thoughts about his father? Was Nathan going to hate him?

Eli rubbed his face and stared out into the New York morning. Nathan was probably still asleep in the hotel room. Eli slowly shook his head upon the thought.
He
was supposed to take his family on vacation to Florida as planned.
He
was supposed to introduce his son to Mickey Mouse and all of the characters.
He
was supposed to be there as Nathan ooh’d and aah’d at everything.

He needed a break. That was Eli’s justification. He needed a break from Faith. He needed a break from Nathan. He needed a break from always doing the right thing. He was so busy trying to be the
good brother
who always helped out a stranger that Eli didn’t realize how unfulfilled he was. He wasn’t happy in his life but he didn’t know what could make him happy. What he
did
know, however, was the thought of losing
everything
made him sick.

He got out of bed and walked to the kitchen to start up some coffee. As the coffee brewed, he played with his phone, scanning through pictures of his family and fondly reminiscing on good times. He decided to man up and stop playing games. He acted unreasonably with Faith earlier and she had every right to throw him out of the house. They were going to be a part of each other’s lives for eternity because of Nathan. It was time they started to act like adults for the sake of their son.

He placed a call to Faith.

****

Faith stepped out of the shower and felt instantly better. It was amazing what a shower could do a sista’s spirits. If she timed herself, she would be fully dressed and order room service before Nathan woke up. That gave her a total of five minutes. Not much time but she had worked on less.

She was getting dressed when the incessant buzzing on her phone distracted her. She briefly checked her phone and saw that Eli left a message.
What in the hell does this fool want?
Faith was tempted to just delete Eli’s message without listening to it but she decided to be the mature one about everything. In case there was a drawn-out court battle between them, she didn’t want any evidence coming back to haunt her that she was unreasonable.

“
Hey, Faye, it’s me. Um, when you get this, can you call me back? I just want to talk to you about little man and other stuff between us. Thanks.”

Faith was surprised by Eli’s message. She thought he was going to curse her out and belittle her. She was so used to the horror stories of single mothers at her shop she naturally grouped Eli into being a deadbeat dad. Maybe he wasn’t like the others. She was still hesitant about him and kept her guard up. No matter how nice Eli sounded over the phone, he was probably calling from his girlfriend’s house.

Faith swallowed her pride and called her husband. No, she would have to correct herself. Eli was not her husband. Eli was her
ex-husband.
Big difference.

“
Hey, Faye,” his deep voice roared over the phone, “thanks for calling me back.”

Faith briefly closed her eyes at the sound of Eli’s voice. It always used to tickle her ears whenever he spoke to her. It was deep, smooth, and rich. She especially loved it when he would speak in Italian as he moved inside her, taunting her with his words and encouraging her orgasm.

She hated that she missed him. She hated that she was still in love with him. She hated that he hurt her and ruined their marriage. She
hated
him.

She loved him.

“
Hey.” She cleared her throat. “What’s up?”

“
Um, I know I was a dick the other day, with the vase and the door. I promise to replace both before you get back from Florida.” Eli began.

“
That’s fine,” Faith kept her answers short, “was that all?”

“
Yeah, I was wondering if little man was up? I wanted to say good morning to him.”

“
No, he’s still asleep but he’ll be waking up soon, though.” Faith promised, “If you call back in about ten minutes, you can talk to him then.”

“
Okay, I’ll do that.” Eli leaned against the kitchen counter. “So when are you going to be back from Florida?”

“
In a few days,” Faith briefly heard her son wake up and make noise, “We’ll be back soon.”

“
Good, good. I was hoping maybe we could meet somewhere and start to make arrangements with visitation and support.” Eli suggested. “And just come to reasonable terms and not get lawyers involved.”

Faith had to steady her breath. She threatened Eli to clean him out but she said that out of anger. Everything became very real to her. “Um, what did you have in mind?”

“
Well, I was thinking,” Eli spoke on the phone as Simone listened in from a nearby corner unbeknownst to him, “I would continue to pay the mortgage and bills, including Nate’s daycare while you could figure out what reasonable dollar amount of support you want.
Reasonable
.” He emphasized.

“
I’ll… I’ll think of something,” Faith then heard Nathan talking with someone in their hotel room. She rushed out of the bathroom and saw Nathan sitting at the table with a full breakfast in front of him—and Darren. “Um, Eli, I really need to go now. I’ll call you back.” She hung up on him.

“
I was wondering when you were going to come out of that bathroom,” Darren smiled at Faith, “I ordered breakfast for everyone. Please sit down.”

“
Why are you in my room?” She scolded Darren, trying to ignore the delicious aromas from breakfast.

“
It’s too early for questions,” Darren smiled. “Please, sit down. I’m sure you’re hungry.”

“
Yeah, it’s too early for questions, Mommy.” Nathan pointed to her chair.

Faith reluctantly sat down and unfolded her napkin. Darren was good, really good. He had figured out what room she was in and ordered room service, which she hoped was charged to his room based on how much was before her. Normally she would’ve been charmed by a guy going out of his way to show affection towards her and her son. But with her marriage to Eli still firmly in the background, she played caution. Darren was too good to be true.

“
You know,” Darren took a sip of coffee. “You never did tell me your name.”

“
I’m sure you have that figured out already,” Faith nodded.

Darren laughed. “You keep throwing that same line to me.”

“
Well, start catching it and I wouldn’t have to keep throwing it.” She commented.

Darren smiled. The woman beside him had both beauty and brains. It was rare for him, in his profession, to find a woman who had both. If she had brains, she was boring and dull. If she had beauty, she was high-maintenance and stupid. Faith didn’t look like she would fit into either category.

Instead, she created her own category for Darren: sophisticated woman.

“
It must be hard,” Darren began, “being a single mother?”

I wouldn’t know. This is new to me.
“I’d rather not talk about that in front of my son.” She adjusted her position. “And it’s a very personal subject.”

Darren held up his hands in defense. “I’m sorry for stepping on toes. I didn’t mean to offend you. I just thought…”