Where I Wanna Be (37 page)

“
Whatever, dude. Listen, I’m only saying this once—either you all support me or you leave me the hell alone, all right? I’m not going to talk about Faye, I’m not going to talk about Simone so don’t ask about either one.
Non me ne frego un cazzo
!
What’s done is done.” Eli started to leave until Nick forcibly grabbed his arm.

“
If I hear an inkling about the disrespect you’re giving to Faye and Nate, you will live to regret it.” Nick warned. “I’m serious.”

“
Nicky, come on…” Eli shook his head.

“
I’m not playing with you,” Nick’s eyes went cold and dark, “if I hear you are channeling your inner Giorgio towards Faye and Nathan,
I will have your ass
.” He emphasized the last sentence. He then let go of his brother’s arm and Eli left the office.

The remaining brothers sat around the office, just looking around. They were raised differently. They were taught different. All of them struggled growing up, the six of them in that tiny two-bedroom home. They knew the long hours their mother had put in just to keep them afloat and give them a nice Christmas every year. They all loathed their father for what he did to make it that way.

Now one of their own was following in their father’s footsteps.

The brothers had had no contact with their father since he left them, some twenty years prior. Nick and Kieran had detailed memories of their father; from playing catch with him to coming home from school and hearing the news he was never going to return. Joey and Eli vaguely remember him, and Tony had no memory of him, for he left when he was just a few months old. Tony depended on his brothers to share stories and memories with him so he could get an idea of what his father was like. Their father also shunned his own relatives, leaving the boys to seek out their cousins, aunts, and uncles on their own.

“
I never thought I would say this, but I don’t trust Eli as far as I can throw him,” Nick’s words cut through the silence, “I’m going to go down to the bank and set up a separate account for Faye and Nate, to make sure they’re covered.”

“
That’s a good idea,” Kieran yawned, “I want in on that.”

“
Me, too,” Joey nodded.

“
Me, too,” Tony nodded.

“
Good. I don’t want word about the account to get out to either Faye or Eli. They both have enough shit on their plates as is. Hopefully, they would never have to know about the account at all, but just in case, it’ll be there as a back-up.” Nick turned to Kieran. “How long are you in town for?”

“
Just for the day,” Kieran rubbed his eyes, “I’m here to check on the assignment with Zoe, maybe catch some lunch with mom later, and then I fly back out tonight. Next week, she’s going to spend a week with me and Tiana helping us around the house.”

“
All right, cool,” Nick glanced down at his Panerai watch. “I need to get going. I’m meeting Zerrin at the doctor’s office.”

“
Are you finding out what you’re having?” Joey asked.

“
Hopefully today, if the baby decides to spread the legs,” Nick amusingly shrugged, “twenty weeks to go.”

“
They go by so quickly, man,” Kieran warned. “It just seems like yesterday Tiana told me she was pregnant.”

“
And that shotgun wedding you two had!” Tony laughed. “We still need to celebrate that too!”

“
We will, we will.” Kieran promised. “But for now, we need to focus on keeping the family together, you hear me?”

“
D’Amatos for life.” Tony held out his hand and the other brothers joined in.

“
D’Amatos for life!” They all chimed in.

Orlando, Florida. Home of the Epcot Center. Land of Mickey Mouse and everything Disney. It was sunny, hot, and beautiful. The air smelled crisp and clean, with promises of a new day and hopeful beginnings. Everyone was friendly and warm, greeting each other with a smile and a ‘hello’. It was exactly what Faith needed. Anything that didn’t remind her of what was waiting for her back in Harlem.

It was risky—traveling with a young child by herself. Faith had to work double-time to make sure all of the luggage was together, that Nathan had everything he needed, that he was entertained so he wouldn’t be a distraction to her and the other passengers.

A small sadness formed on Faith’s lips. She could remember the last family trip with all three of them together and how they took Nathan to see the Brooklyn Bridge. They often talked about Florida and other states, wanting to expose their son to as much culture as possible. Now it would be up to Faith to do that alone.

The feeling was surreal, like she was watching someone else’s life and wondering what was going to happen next. Except, it was her life and she was in the starring role of scorned single mother. She didn’t dare to talk to Eli’s brothers, or Nicola, afraid their reaction would be just as bad, if not worse, than Eli’s. If they rejected her the same way Eli did, Faith didn’t know what she was going to do.

They arrived in Orlando the night before and had a jam-packed day set out for the both of them. They were going to visit Disney World. The next day was going to be Sea World. The day after was going to be Universal Studios.

Nathan slept peacefully throughout the night but Faith tossed and turned. She got up one time to stand by the window and look out; hoping that staring at the moon would somehow bring her some peace and answers. It didn’t. All it did was wrack her brain and make her question where she went wrong as a wife, and if Eli leaving her was squarely her fault.

She purposely left her cell phone off so she didn’t have to answer anyone’s questions about what went wrong and when she’d be back. But Faith knew she couldn’t avoid everyone forever. There was going to be a time when she would have to face the music when she returned. When she finally did turn on her cell phone, it wasn’t a surprise to see it was flooded with voicemails and texts from her concerned friends and family. It did shock Faith, however, to hear a voicemail from Nicola.

“
Call me when you get this,
mia figlia
.”

Faith hesitated. Was Nicola going to tell her she was no longer welcomed in the family? Was she going to tell her she didn’t want anything to do with her and Nathan anymore? Nicola was the cornerstone of the D’Amato family and Faith knew how important her influence was. But she also didn’t want to avoid Nicola forever. If the final conversation between her and Nicola was going to happen while she was on vacation, then so be it. She would rather do it right then and there than to pretend to be friends with her when she returned.

With a heavy heart, Faith dialed her former mother-in-law. She already hated the word
former.
It sounded foreign to her, like some newly-invented language. “Hello, Nicola,” Faith remained cordial when Nicola picked up the phone.

“
I’m glad you returned my phone call,
mia figlia
. I was worried about you.”

“
You don’t have to be, I’m fine. I just took Nate for a little vacation. We’ll be back soon.”

“
I wanted to talk to you about that,” Nicola began, “I heard what happened.”

Faith waited for the other shoe to drop. This was going to be the part where Nicola told her she was no longer welcomed in the family. This was going to be the part where Nicola was going to defend her son and his actions. This was going to be the part where Faith was going to be grateful she cut her losses sooner rather than later. “Yes?”

“
You’re still my daughter and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.” Nicola stated.

Faith chewed on her bottom lip as she blinked back tears. “What?” It barely came out as a whisper.

“
I don’t know what the hell Eli is doing, or what he’s thinking, but I will tell you right now, you are, and will always be, a part of the family. I still expect you for Sunday dinner. I still expect to get my hair done at your salon. I still expect to have my grandbaby over for sleepovers. Is that understood?” Nicola stated.

The tears softly rolled down Faith’s cheeks and she sniffled a little. “I understand, Nicola.”

“
Good. I just want to get that out of the way. Now you and my grandbaby go have some fun. Tell me all about it and take lots and lots of pictures for me!” Nicola beamed. “And then we’ll have tea when you get back, okay?”

Faith’s smile broke through her tears. “Okay, Madre. Anything you say.”

“
Oh, and Faith?”

“
Yes?”

“
I love you, sweetheart.”

“
I love you, too, Madre.” She then hung up the phone. She inhaled and exhaled several times, letting the stress out about what happened and replacing it with love and hope.

Faith got out of bed and started to get ready for her day. She and Nathan had a long day full of rides, pictures, and lots of walking. She was thankful she’d found her comfortable sneakers just before the trip or it would have been an even longer day for her and Nathan.

****

Yo, D. Yo, D! Yo, give me a call back when you get this. I heard you were in town and I wanted to see if you want to kick it with us tonight at The Boom Boom. Talk to you late.

Hey, Darren, baby. I heard you were in town. I was wondering if you wanted to get together and hook up later. I can wear that little thing you like to see me in. Holla atcha girl. Bye, boo.

Hey, Darren. It’s your mother. I know you’re a star athlete and all but don’t forget who raised you and wiped your ass. You had some stinky diapers, too! Almost made my eyebrows fall off. Give me a call, son. I love you.

Darren Matthews listened to the rest of his messages as he hung upside-down in his rented apartment, doing crunches. He told everyone he was traveling to Florida for some rest and relaxation and not to bother him, which somehow translated to everyone he knew
to
bother him. Not that it was all bad; he did tentatively pencil in a date to see his local booty-call, Tammy, later on in the day.

Fresh off a Super Bowl win, Darren escaped to Florida for a much-needed vacation. Sun, fun, and bitches was all he needed. The star quarterback had tentative plans to travel out of the country, maybe visit the United Kingdom and have a drug-fueled binge in Amsterdam before sobering up and returning to New York just in time to pass any drug tests and be ready for training camp.

He was the All-American guy with the movie star looks and physique of a god. Tawny skin outlined his trim, muscular frame. A chiseled jaw line led to the light goatee, sharp blue eyes, and short dirty blonde hair. He looked charming enough to take home to the parents. He was cool enough to be around school-age children and was considered a hero by them. And he was definitely naughty enough to do a line of coke off an escort’s body before he fucked her into submission all night. Okay, maybe the escort thing was a one-time deal. Still, it was something he could brag about when he was old and grey.

Darren grabbed the bar and flipped himself over and stood in the living room. While other athletes rode with a posse sometimes twenty-deep, Darren preferred his vacations solo. He could concentrate and be at peace with himself and the world. He didn’t have to worry about someone in his entourage getting arrested, or starting a fight in a club. He didn’t have to fight off paparazzi trying to snag a photo and taunting him for a poor game.