Who Moved My Blackberry?

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Sylvia Woods

Hi Sylvia

What's this message to call Sebastian Fforbes Hever? Did he say what it was about? I'm going out now for a spot of lunch. If he calls back, I've got my mobile, pager and BlackBerry with me.

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Lukes

Darling—

Sorry about last night … had a few too many. Will try to get back early tonite to make amends.

btw one of the top headhunters at Heidrick Ferry has been trying to get hold of me(!) … dunno what it's about.

Love you, M xx

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
SebastianFforbesHever@HeidrickFerry

Hi Sebastian

Thanks for your most intriguing e-mail. Yes, indeed, I could find a window to meet up with you tomorrow. I'll have to juggle a couple of meetings, but should be doable—could see you at your offices in Buckingham Palace Road at around 3ish.

Bestest

Martin Lukes

Marketing Director, A&B (UK)

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Lukes

Darling—

Guess what?? I've been approached to be director of marketing and strategy at a major retailer!! All very hush hush … the headhunter wouldn't say which one over the phone, but I'm going to meet him tomorrow.

I know you're really up against it this pm but wld be v grateful if you'd pick up my gray Hugo Boss suit from the cleaners.

Love you M xx

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Sylvia Woods

Hi Sylvia, I'm popping out now. If anyone wants to know where I am, say I'm at a forward planning meeting with Tim at Boogie Gargle Fink.

Will be back 5ish.

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Lukes

Darling—FANTASTIC meeting with Sebastian just now. The job is marketing director of Sainsburys!! The role's heaven made for yours truly—I'd be in charge of 350 people globally, $1bn annual budget. Very high profile.

Sebastian didn't mention the package at this stage, but said it wouldn't be an obstacle to finding the right person. I assume at least twice what I'm on now … It's got my name all over it—what they want are unrivaled communications skills, out of the box thinking, results driven mentality and an outstanding track record in driving performance … I've got ticks in all the boxes. Coming straight home now.

Love you M xx

Sent from my BlackBerry Wireless Handheld

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Sebastian Fforbes Hever

Hi Sebastian

Great to meet with you yesterday—I felt we were very much singing from the same hymn sheet. I just wanted to reiterate how positive I am about this position, and how much I have to bring to the party.

Just to recap: I'm very can-do, very get-up-go—I operate very well within a large company—but have a pronounced entrepreneurial streak that keeps me thinking outside the box.

Look forward to hearing from you.

All my very bestest

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Lukes

Darling—

I'm on the short list!!! I'm going to meet all the top bods at Sainsburys on Monday. I've got to prepare a presentation on how I would transition the marketing strategy onto a higher plane. Should be no problem, though I'm a bit out of the loop on food shopping—you've deskilled me on that one. As a shopper, have you got any pointers on supermarkets—from the consumer's perspective? Debrief tonite?

Love you, M xx

PS I'll be working flat out all weekend … so don't think I'll be able to make it to yr parents on Sunday.

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Lukes

Darling—don't think you understand this is the biggest inflexion point in my career to date. I'm sure your parents won't mind—they don't like me anyway …

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Lukes

Darling—total triumph!! The chief executive of Sainsburys has the IDENTICAL take on the future of marketing to yours truly. I gave them my spiel on how we have gone beyond traditional marketing into a new age of synchronicity across functionalities. The interview was meant to last an hour, but I got the feeling they had made up their mind after 15 minutes, and after that it was more like a relaxed friendly chat than your bog-standard interview.

My presentation on their marketing strategy was 110 percent on the button. I decided not to pull my punches, and I was pretty critical—though obviously in a very positive sort of way. Basically I said that in the past they've relied too heavily on Jamie Oliver—they need to have a more flexible approach to winning hearts and minds of today's shoppers.

See you later

M xx

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Sebastian Fforbes Hever

Hi Sebastian

Just wanted to touch base to find out how you think that went? Have you had any feedback from your client? From my point of view it was very positive indeed …

Bestest

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Lukes

Darling—Just had a brief chat with Sebastian—and he says they are “very interested” in me. Re package, we're talking of something in the region of 350k, plus bonus which could be same again. Obviously share options, pension, health insurance, gym club membership. Car allowance would be double so that we could trade in the Mitsubishi Shogun and get a Porsche Cayenne V8 Turbo S.

We could also think of moving. I could see us in one of those 8-bed detached jobs on the common itself—near where George and Stacey live. I just called the estate agent, and there's one on the market for 3.2mil, which would be do-able.

Love you M xx

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Lukes

Darling—Yes, I know I shouldn't count my chickens. And I'm not. I'm simply repeating what I've been told. In any case in this market milieu if you don't have a positive headset you don't get anywhere.

M

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Graham Wallace

Hi Graham

Did you notice that I wasn't firing on all cylinders in the board meeting just now? Between you and me and the gatepost, that could be the last one I'm ever going to attend. I'm up for a big job. It's as good as in the bag, though can't tell you what at this juncture. But put it this way. Think supermarket. Think Jamie Oliver. Think Chief Marketing Officer …

Mart

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Graham Wallace

Cheers, Graham. Yes obviously I am totally over the moon. I had started feeling very stuck here—but I suppose I've been in denial about it. At the end of the day, being marketing director has been a load of fun, but I've outgrown it.

Mart

PS Keep this under your hat till it's greenlighted. Then monster drinks in order.

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Sylvia Woods

Hi Sylvia

I think I should let you into a little secret. I'm afraid our ways are about to part. I've been headhunted for a very senior job, so looks like this might be my last week here. If anyone from Sainsbury or Heidrick Struggles calls in the next hour when I'm in the budget meeting come and get me out.

M

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Sylvia Woods

Anyone called?

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Sebastian Fforbes Hever

Hi Sebastian

I don't want to hassle you, but I just wondered if there was any news?

Bestest, Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Sebastian Fforbes Hever

I don't understand. That wasn't what you implied earlier. I thought the Sainsburys board loved me. Is this a joke, or what?

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Lukes

I don't fucking believe it. They've gone and fucking given it to someone fucking else. Sebastian is a fucking lying sod. He said they LOVED my presentation—practically said the job was in the bag. And now he's saying I didn't have the right skillsets, fit not quite right, better qualified candidates … blah blah. I think the guy who got it is head of marketing at Tesco or Asda, so I suppose that means the idiots have gone for the safe candidate rather than the best candidate. I still just can't fucking believe it. It's so unfair. My dream job.

M

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Sylvia Woods

Sylvia I'm feeling very unwell. I think I'm coming down with the flu. I'm going home now.

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Graham Wallace

Just to check—you haven't told anyone about that job, have you? As it happens I've decided against.

Basically, I've always believed that work is all about the people. And although it was very flattering to be offered such a mega job at Sainsburys, at the end of the day I didn't want to work with them. Apart from anything else fun wasn't part of their DNA at all.