Who Moved My Blackberry? (10 page)

Pandora

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Keri Tartt

Hi Keri—I'm working from home today. I feel really awful, so I'd rather that people didn't ring or e-mail. I put the crystal healing thing by my bed last night, but alas no improvement yet!

M

From:
Roger Wright

To:
All Staff

Re: working from home

It has been drawn to my attention that we currently have no binding guidelines covering arrangements for working from home. I would like to remind all members of staff that working from home is only permissible in exceptional circumstances, and then requires written approval from a line manager.

Roger Wright
Chairman, a-b glöbâl (UK) (Acting)

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Roger Wright

Roger—I am somewhat surprised at your memo. I believe that trust should be the cornerstone of our culture, and we should trust our team members to select the work schedule that suits them best.

You may be interested to know that today I am working from home because I will shortly be having hospital tests of a serious nature. Instead of taking the day off sick, I am actually finding that the quiet headspace offered by the home environment enables me to continue to work as per usual.

Martin

From:
Roger Wright

To:
All Staff

Re staff changes

Lucinda Mogg-Watson will be leaving us at the end of the month to pursue other options. I would like to extend thanks to her for the work she has done with us, and offer her every success with her future career.

Jenny Withers has been appointed Head of External Relations. The appointment of a new assistant will be announced shortly.

Roger Wright
Chairman, a-b glöbâl (UK) (Acting)

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Withers

I DON'T BELIEVE THIS!! When we discussed it last night I thought we agreed that it would be a very bad idea for you to take on additional responsibilities given my health issues—which you seem in total denial about??? M

From:
Pandora@CoachworX!

To:
Martin Lukes

Hi Martin

How are you today?

At this stage in the program we would normally be looking at your energy levels holistically. However I think it would be better if we commenced with your negative energy.

Many of my coachees find this a difficult concept to grasp. The easiest way of understanding this, Martin, is to think of yourself like a colander. Energy is poured in, but pours out again through the holes. This is your negative energy. We need to find where those holes are, and find ways of blocking them.

Close your eyes and think of that colander. Can you see where the negative energy is gushing out? E-mail me between five and ten of these “holes,” and we'll find a way of blocking them!

Strive and thrive!

Pandora

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Pandora@CoachworX!

Hi Pandora. I have been trying to find some holes (as it were!!). I have come up with the following list which is by no means comprehensive, but I hope will be a start.

1. My bowel situation
   

2. Roger
   

3. Cindy
   

4. Christo
   

5. Jake's issues around work, drugs/alcohol etc
   

6. Jens' issues around my cancer, around her career etc
   

7. When Arsenal beats Chelsea
   

22.5 percent better than my very bestest

Martin

From:
Pandora@CoachworX!

To:
Martin Lukes

Hi Martin!

Well done! Can I make a suggestion on how we can take this forward? Many of your holes are related to other people. These people have very high levels of negative energy and are toxic to people like you, Martin, who are committed to being Better than your Best.

There is only one thing to do with toxic people. Ignore them! And if this is difficult, explain to them that they are toxic to you, and that you need to limit your exposure.

Strive and thrive!

Pandora

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Withers

Just seen your message. Just because I'm at home doesn't mean I can be a tutor to Jake. In fact I have to be careful at the moment because Jake is connected to my negative energy, which impacts adversely on my health. What time you coming home?

M

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Withers

No of COURSE I am not saying Jake's caused my cancer. He's one of the holes in my energy colander, if you will.

M

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Withers

No need to be sarcastic about it … it's a useful concept of Pandora's—at the end of the day we're all just colanders, energy goes in and comes out. Jake just happens to be one of my holes.

M

From:
Keith Buxton

To:
All Staff

Hallo everyone

You will all by now have seen Barry's memo unveiling our exciting program for upgrading our talent pool.

As Chief Talent Officer I shall be overseeing this program, which is code-named Project ABC, and which will sort our coworkers into three grades—A, B and C. This sorting will be done in a scientific, highly objective way that will assess each individual against target behaviors. Phase One will commence this week, and will consist in designing a customized Matrix of Key Behaviors. Further details on the intranet site.

Keith

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Keith Buxton

Hi Keith!

Great to hear from you! Yes, I'd be only too delighted. I have lots of ideas about our target behaviors, but will of course make the consultative process here as inclusive as possible. Needless to say, I am 110 percent behind this initiative.

All my very bestest,

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Withers

Darling—Keith's asked me to head up the Key Behaviors Task Force in London!!!! It's incredibly visible—a huge break for me. I must have really impressed Malone last month after all.

M xx

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Stewart@harleystreetclinic

Dear Dr. Stewart

I am due to go to the US next week on mission critical business. As you know my colonoscopy is scheduled for next Wednesday. Could you arrange for it to be moved forward to the tail end (no pun intended!!) of this week?

Yours sincerely

Martin Lukes

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Jenny Withers

Darling—Just got v cryptic msg from Stewart. For what it's worth, he says it doesn't matter if I postpone the colonoscopy for three and a half weeks. I suppose he thinks I'm toast anyway. They are unbelievably casual, these doctors. If I was that slack I would have been struck off years ago …

M x

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Behaviors Focus Group

Hi, Suzanna, Matt, Graham and Nigel

Thank you for agreeing to join me on the Key Behaviors Task Force. Ahead of the first session in my office tomorrow at 10am I'd like each of you to think of the six behaviors that you personally think are the key drivers for every individual in the a-b glöbâl family to ensure that we as a company excel at every point in the value chain. It should be a highly stimulating session. See you tomorrow.

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
All Staff

Hi Everybody

The Key Behaviors Focus Group had its first meeting yesterday and surfaced many innovative ideas. So far we have identified the following target Behaviors: Courage, Citizenship, Playfulness, Wisdom, Win-win Headset, and Hi-trust. I think you will agree that this has been an outstanding start. Now it's over to you—we want to hear your views!

My best, Martin

From:
Jenny Withers

To:
All Staff

With my Communications hat on, I'd like to suggest we present each behavior as a personal statement: “I am courageous,” “I am a good citizen,” “I am playful.” That way we align them more closely with the values of each individual coworker.

Best, Jenny

From:
Christo Weinberg

To:
All Staff

Hi!

I think we can kick this baby up a notch. What we are doing is creating riffs which we all play together. This isn't about “I.” It's about “we.” “I” is a feeble solo, “we” is a monster big band jamming session. If we say “WE are good citizens,” “WE are playful,” then that creates an inclusive formula we can all feel passionate about!

Cheers, Christo

From:
Suzanna Elliott

To:
All Staff

Hi!! What about making the behaviors all begin with the same letter? It would help us create a really powerful behaviors brand. Two of them already begin with C, so we could convert all the others to C words. Instead of “win-win headset” we could have “can-do headset.” Instead of “wisdom,” “cleverness.” And instead of playfulness we could have “clowning.” I know it's a bit outrageous, but you can't accuse me of thinking inside the box!!!

Suze

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Suzanna Elliott

Suze—you're a STAR!! That is brilliant, really creative. Just been thinking about this, and it has given me a breakthrough idea: given the quality of your work, I'd like you to clear your calendar and come with me to Atlanta next week for the big presentation.

M

From:
Pandora@CoachworX!

To:
Martin Lukes

Hi Martin

Now you know where your negative energy is, you are ready to start managing it. One easy win is to look at the words you use that drain your energy—Killer. Bad. Worse. Life Sentence. Awful.

These words are all about pain. And pain has no place in your life.

Don't say you're exhausted. Say you're RECHARGING. Don't say you're snowed under—say that you're IN DEMAND or that you're STRETCHING. See the difference? Don't say I hate. Say I PREFER. Don't say failure, say LEARNING. Don't say sick, say CLEANSING. Don't say oh shit! Say OH POO! Don't say angry … say A LITTLE BIT CONCERNED!

When you are dealing with the people who sap your energy it is vital to use these empowering words. Try it for a day or two, and tell me about the difference!

Strive and thrive!

Pandora

From:
Roger Wright

To:
All Staff

I fear inadequate consideration has been given to the metrics of the matrix. These behaviors are intended to be the subject of objective measurement. I cannot see which metrics would be used to measure “playfulness.” Neither do I see how this is a useful addition to our global behaviors set.

Roger Wright, Acting Chairman

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Roger Wright

Roger—Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us. Can I make a small point? This behaviors matrix is about change, changing behavior from the negative to the positive. Negative words like “fear” and “cannot” have no place in the debate!

All my very bestest

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
All Staff

Hello everybody

I am delighted to say that the Key Behaviors Focus Group has completed its work and I am now in a position to offer you a preview of the behaviors matrix before I unveil it in Atlanta next week. After much highly inclusive debate we have decided on six positive behaviors that define us at a-b glöbâl UK.

Why CONVERSATION? Because this is how we touch each other's souls.

Why CONNECTIVITY? Because no man is an island. We are teams that connect with each other.

Why CRAZINESS? Because without a bit of craziness we would be the same as everyone else.

Why CARING? Because we are global citizens who love each other and the communities we serve.

Why COACHING? Because this is how we nurture each other and pass on our key learnings.

Why CREATIVITY? Because without this we could never change our DNA.

You will notice that the behaviors begin with the same first letter, which gives them a powerful internal brand. I would like to thank my team for going the extra mile to reach what I am sure you will agree is truly a caring, creative and crazy matrix!

All my very bestest

Martin

From:
Martin Lukes

To:
Keri Tartt

Hi Keri—Can you get the travel arrangements for Suzanna and myself sorted asap? We need to leave mid-morning Thursday. Plse check that British Airways has beds in Business Class on its 747s—I want the window seat in the bubble. In Atlanta, plse book us into the W. Preferably a suite for myself.