“We don't understand what it was like to live back then, and if we just let our minds focus on the injustice, the racism, inequality, and the segregation that still exist in a lot of America, they wouldn't be tripping about recruiting members for public service organizations that are suppose to change that.”
“Yeah, that's true,” Bridget said, as she got up and left the room.
“Where is she going?” Myra said.
“I'm sure she is going to fix some tea or something,” Chandra said, as the three of us laughed.
Bridget was a young, black, hip Martha Stewart. She believed in girl-talk over tea and cookies. Though we laughed, we all wanted her pampering.
“I just don't know how much I will be willing to endure. If I know how crazy it is on this end and I'm still thinking about doing it, what does that say about my character? What does that say about me?” I said, scratching my head.
Myra leaned down beside me and replied, “You know you can get in there and change it all. Every organization isn't perfect. If they were, why would they need any new members? I have been looking up RTN's history too. They have a program that is out of this world to me. They focus on so many positive things, it made me realize the sisters are really together. Now I'm convinced I want to be a part of them.”
“And if your head gets bashed in the process, you still want to rock their colors?” Chandra said.
“I just think a lot of that pledging hype people throw out there is overrated. I want to get on the line and see. That's where the sisterhood and bond comes in with your line sisters. You gotta go through something to get tight, right?” Myra said.
Chandra and I said “Wrong!” at the same time.
“How can you love somebody that's giving you hell? How can you forget what they did to you, how they demeaned you and belittled you and then you call them sister?” Chandra said.
Bridget came to the door with a tray and four mugs of steamy, cozy chamomile tea. She even had sugar cookies as well. Myra and I quickly reached for ours.
“We love you, girl,” Myra said to Bridget.
“I just felt like this was a tea moment. The four of us have been so busy doing so much, that we haven't been making time for each other. I hope I make the Mu Eta Mu line, but I can't imagine loving my sisters more than I love the three of you guys,” she said, as we all took a tea cup and clicked them together. “Nothing will tear us apart.”
“Well, Myra, I know you're going to be a Nu, Bridget, you're goin' to be an MEM, and Hayden, you're going to make the Betas stronger no matter what the cost,” Chandra added.
“Who says we're going to make it?” Bridget said, looking away.
Chandra smiled and raised her mug. “ 'Cause I know you guys, and God answers prayers. You're strong and you'll do this for Him. That sorority stuff isn't for everybody, but that doesn't mean I don't support what you're doing or why you want to do it. Y'all are awesome. So here's to pledging.”
4
BRUTAL
H
aving an uncle who is the president of the college you attend may seem like a big deal but for me it wasn't. Thankfully, he stayed out of my way and I stayed out of his. Well, that was until he summoned me to his office during class. Most people didn't know we were related because we had different last names, but now they surely knew something was up when he sent a messenger to get me. I didn't really like that. I just wanted to be normal. If I only saw him on holidays or when I needed money was fine with me.
“Hey Hayden,” his secretary said. “He's in a meeting right now.”
“No, he just called for me to come here. I'm gonna see him,” I said, opening up the door to his office.
I was stunned when I opened the door and saw my aunt's hands around my uncle's throat. I didn't know what was going on, but his secretary was right. I wasn't supposed to see this.
Unsure how to react, I said, “Sorry to interrupt, but Uncle Wade, you called me.”
The two of them went to separate sides of his office. I'd never seen my uncle look so distraught. Obviously, the tension lingering in the air was a sign that this whole incident was serious. His wife, stuck-up Aunt Anne, as my sister and I always called her, grabbed her purse as she grunted. She fled past me, brushing my arm.
“Hayden, now you know you gotta knock,” my uncle said, trying to play it off.
“Okay, what was that all about?” I went over to him and demanded. He ignored me, got on his phone and blasted his secretary.
“I told her you were busy, sir,” I heard her say.
“Are you and Aunt Anne having problems? Was she beating you?” I asked when he hung up the phone. I couldn't believe I was asking the toughest man I knew such personal questions, but I'd seen for myself what was going on, and it didn't look right.
When he didn't respond, silence came over the room. All my life he'd played the protective role in my life. My mom's younger brother had schooled my high school boyfriends when my dad was overseas traveling. Now, I felt like I needed to protect him.
“I didn't think I was interrupting, because you got me from class,” I said, still unable to shake the images I'd seen moments before.
“Okay baby, you're a sophomore in college now, a big girl. You know adults have issues,” he said, still unable to look at me.
“Oh really? I've forgotten how married couples interact. My dad's been away for so long now,” I said, getting a little sad.
“I know,” he said, coming over to give me a hug.
I truly missed my father, but he was an officer in the United States Navy. When it was time for him to go, he had to go. When it was time for him to come home, he often stayed overseas. It was more than duty to him. It was his life. He'd write, call and say he loved me, my mom and Hailey. However, how could that be the case when he was often away? I had a small family, my sister was four years younger than me and my mom had her own life. I was happy to be away at college trying to find my way and later tonight I would finally have that opportunity. There were flyers all over campus, tonight was rush night. I had waited for so long. Pledging would extend my family and I was excited about that.
“Look, don't you go telling your mom about what you saw here between your aunt and me, okay? Everything's fine. She and I justâwell, everything's fine.”
“Naw, it's cool. I won't say a word. Whatever you say,” I told him. “Why'd you want to see me though?”
“Your mom told me that you were about to pledge. I know all the sororities are having their rush tonight and I'm just trying to make sure this is seriously something you want. A lot of girls think it is and end up getting in way over their heads. These sororities and fraternities nowadays can get off track if they have the wrong members leading. So many of them are in so much trouble. We just want to make sure you know what you're doing,”
“I was just standing here thinking that if I can become a member of Beta Gamma Pi, that would be a dream realized for me. This is the beginning. Going to rush is not me signing up to be a member of anything. I'm not sure I'm going to do it,” I said, giving him the answer I knew he wanted. “You've got a smart niece. Let me go and evaluate it. I won't let you down.”
“I'd like to be able to look at you and say that everybody does their pledge process by the book. However, that wouldn't be true. Even on my campus, I'm not oblivious to the fact that craziness goes on. I try to crack down on it. I meet with the advisors, my faculty and staff, and I even talk to the presidents of each of the chapters. But if people want to have stuff messed up, they will. If they know they can get away with doing stupid things, they'll do that too.”
Being real with him, I asked, “I'm just curious why my aunt thinks it's okay to put her hands around your neck. Has that happened before? Does she think she can get away with it?”
“Come on, Hayden. Drop it, okay? Your uncle can take care of himself. I run this big ol' school, right?” He kissed me on the forehead, opened the office door and shoved me out.
I sighed. I hoped he really could take care of himself. My family had issues.
Â
The Betas had their rush, an informational session to tell potential pledges all about their organization. The meaningful event was held at an exquisite restaurant not far from campus. Lavender and turquoise candles were lit everywhere. On one side of the room sat the sisters of Beta Gamma Pi and on the other side were all of the hopefuls, like me. They had a small stage set up with a mic and everything. But I just kept wishing that someone I knew would walk through the door.
Before I left our apartment, as hard as I tried to convince Chandra to come with me, she held true to the fact that she was not going to pledge. Myra got dressed wearing anything but brown or peach because she went to the Nu rush. And Bridget wanted to show the MEMs she looked great in silver and gold. Despite what we tried to tell her, she went out of the door sporting their colors to their rush.
As I stood alone, I had to stand tall in my mind. I watched the different ladies of the sorority look me up and down. No one was smiling until I saw Penelope, who was the Vice President of the chapter and head of the line.
She came over to me and said, “You're going to be fine.”
“I don't know. I don't think your sorority sisters like me very much,” I said as I grew even more uncomfortable with the way Keisha was eyeballing me.
“Oh they like you a lot, trust me. Some of these other girls in here may have to worry. But of course they have to be tough on you. The Chapter President's about to come up and introduce herself, so sit!”
“Hi, I'm Edythe Stone, the Chapter President,” the confident girl with short sassy hair said to the audience of approximately forty. “Welcome to the Beta Gamma Pi rush. It's obvious that you all are curious about our wonderful sorority. Today we're just here to make sure that you leave without any doubts that Beta Gamma Pi is definitely something you want to be a part of. Founded in 1919, here, on the campus of Western Smith, five women were impressed by the sororities being established in the east for equality and change. With lots of injustices in the central part of the country as well, they came together and decided to take a stand. Pi Lambda Beta was also founded that same year here. Make no mistake about it though, the men decided to get behind their women and join them in the cause, but of course they couldn't be in the sorority so they formed a fraternity to help.”
A very short girl I noticed was taking notes. I didn't know if I should be doing the same. Certainly, I didn't want to miss or forget anything.
Edythe continued, “Beta Gamma Pi stands on five key points and everything we do is around those five things: leadership, sisterhood, education, spirituality and service. We build up leaders. We believe the bond of sisterhood is the essence of our survival and education is how we build our strength. We're a Christian-based organization that believes in serving the public from our heart. I believe most of you already got it going on, but if you want to join a dynamic group of women ready, empowered, charged, motivated and determined to make a difference in this world that we live in, then this sorority is for you. If you seek to be a part of a group of women who want to make this world better than they found it, then this sorority is for you. If your heart is big and you're not the center of your own world, then maybe ... just maybe, you too can be a Beta.”
“Like they don't need us,” I heard a girl behind me say.
I almost wanted to turn around and tell her to be quiet. She was going to ruin her chance. Though I knew it was highly unlikely, I was down with us all making it.
“Trisha, hush!” I heard a chick next to her say.
“What, Chris? You know I'm telling the truth.”
Penelope held up a white 8 x 10 envelope and said, “If you are interested, please pick up an application packet before you leave. You must have a letter of recommendation by a member of our sorority, two letters showing you've consistently done community service, and didn't just start last week. Also, the twelve-page application itself must be typed and we need your official transcript. All of this needs to be in one week from today to the place specified on the packet.”
She also went on to tell us each packet would be scored and if we got enough points we'd get an interview. If we got enough points after that then we'd be invited to be on their line. I had a feeling this was going to take much more work than I could have imagined. Looking at the Betas I knew they weren't impressed easily.
Then the chapter advisor got up and started talking about the academic requirements involved in us getting into the organization. That Trisha girl behind me just kept talking though.
“Whatever. I know I have a 2.5 GPA, but it's not like they don't want me to be on their line. Are you kidding?”
Someone from the other side of the room said, “Hush!” loudly, a little too loudly. Then five of the Betas got up from their seats and came to our side, giving us intimidating glares.
When we were dismissed and had time to mingle, I couldn't believe three of the Betas cornered me and asked me why was I talking during their presentation. Thankfully, Penelope came over and escorted me away from the heat.
“It wasn't me!” I said to her, feeling like they hated me.
“They know it wasn't you. You were in the front row. We could all see you weren't talking. Plus, you were sitting all by yourself. You gotta know how to handle them. But we all have a favorite in the room and I really like you,” Penelope said.
“Why?” I asked her.
“Because of all the girls I've talked to that say they want to be Betas, you outshine them all. Their reasons for wanting to pledge are shallow. They say to wear the letters, to sport the colors, to try to get guys, I mean you wouldn't believe some of the stupid stuff they say. And even though I know you are a legacy ... Yeah, we know,” she said, seeing the tension on my face.
I wished I could have kept that a secret. I'd always heard mixed things about being the daughter of a Beta. Either that gave you an edge, or the chapter members would cast you out because they felt you were too cocky. I didn't know what would be my fate if they found out so I kept it low key.
“Your roommates are all trying to pledge something different, and yet you still want this. I saw you pushing a guy in a wheelchair the other day down the hall to class. Somebody else dropped their books and you were there to help them out. I don't know. You have outstanding character. The character we need in our group. I'm happy you came to rush tonight. I'm glad the night after our party didn't deter you.” I reached over to hug her and she backed away. “I'm not that glad. I'm not just gonna hand you my letters. You're going to have to work for them. You ready to work for them, Hayden?”
I nodded.
“Cool.”
I hoped it was.
Â
The next evening, I was home working on a paper for my psychology professor, Dr. Griffin. The dude was so rigid, he needed a female to loosen him up. It felt like school had just started and I was already weighed down with work. Then my doorbell rang, giving me the break I needed. “Come on, we gotta go!” a familiar voice said to me as I opened my apartment door and got yanked out of it.
“Wait a minute. I don't have my purse, my wallet or my keys. What's this about?”
“Okay, I'm Trisha. I'm trying to pledge Beta. We've been instructed to come and pick you up. You in this or what?”
Now, I understood. I guess the crazy rollercoaster ride of pledging was on. I held up my finger to say one minute. Part of me was excited. At least this time I wouldn't be around the crazy girls alone.
“I'll be at the car,” Trisha said.
“Sounds good. I'll be right out.”
When I went inside to get my purse Chandra yelled out, “Hayden, who's that at the door?”