Worth the Wait (Sexy Nerd Boys #1) (13 page)

Abby

              I collapse on my bed and curl into a ball. I can’t believe I almost just told Ethan I love him. I don’t love him. I can’t love him. It must have been all of those stupid bonding hormones released during orgasm. God, I can’t even imagine how Ethan would’ve reacted if I hadn’t been able to stop those words that almost tumbled from my lips. I’m certain there would’ve been an Ethan shaped hole in the bedroom door. I take several deep breaths and wrap my arms around my legs to keep myself in a little ball.

I wake up to the smell of coffee and roll over with a smile on my face. The idea of Ethan coming over early to start coffee for me makes my heart leap. God I seriously need to cool it, I’m on the road to heartbreak and that is so not someplace I want to go.  I absentmindedly smooth my hair down and climb out of bed heading for the door.

I stop short when I see Nikki and Lee at the table with Ethan sitting across from them. They’re having a quiet conversation over cereal and holding hands under the table. Their intimacy makes my heart hurt.
That’s dumb. I’m happy for them.

“Gooood morning!” I sing song at Lee with an eyebrow waggle thrown in for effect.

“You’re such a dork,” She says with a laugh.

“Shut up, I’m not a dork, I’m just happy for you,” I pour myself a cup of coffee and join them at the table.

Ethan’s gaze meets mine and there’s a question in his eyes, ‘is everything ok between us?’ I nod my head and give him a small smile. I don’t know what came over me last night, thinking I was in love with him. Definitely just the sex making me feel crazy things. Not at all having anything to do with the fact that he’s sweet, fun to be with, loves the same nerdy stuff that I love, and totally gets me. Nope, hormones are to blame for sure.

“I’ve gotta get going, I’ve got to get to work. I’ll see you guys later?” Ethan asks rising from the table.

We both nod and Lee pulls him down for a quick peck on the cheek before he leaves.

“Things still going well between you two?” Lee asks with a knowing smile.

I shrug and feign nonchalance.

“Of course, I mean it’s so casual it’d be nearly impossible for things to not be going well. We’re just hanging out, keeping things casual, nothing serious,” I take a big sip of my coffee. Lee continues to smile at me without saying anything.

“What?” I snap. She laughs and shakes her head at me.

“I was just waiting to see if you were going to try to work the word ‘casual’ in a few more times.”

“Shut up,” I grumble. “Oh, crap, I’ve got to get going. I’m teaching my self-defense class in two hours and I want to get in a work out before that.”

              I give Lee a kiss on the cheek before getting ready to go to the gym.

“Abby,” The meek, mousy girl from the first day of class approaches me after class today with a nervous smile.

“Yeah…” I try to remember her name and come up blank.

“Sarah,” She supplies.

“Sorry, Sarah. What can I do for you?” I ask.

“I wanted to tell you that I think you’re so amazing,” She says in a hushed, reverent tone. “You’re just so beautiful and you seem so confident. I had to tell you that I wish I could be exactly like you.”

My mouth falls open in surprise.

Do I tell his girl that she has it all wrong? In reality I’m a hot mess. I’m in a non-relationship that both terrifies and exhilarates me, I can’t sleep without the use of narcotics or alcohol, I lived in an abusive relationship for years, I can’t take my mother’s phone calls because I’m afraid to face her, and I basically hate myself most of the time. But instead of admitting all of that I just smile and thank her.

“Hey beautiful,” Ethan comes in, wraps his arms around me and spins me around while I laugh at his antics.

“Stop, I’m going to puke,” I warn. Sarah is still standing there, wide eyed, looking at Ethan.

“Wow, is this your boyfriend?” She asks, staring at him like he’s made of chocolate.

“I’m Ethan,” He introduces himself politely, not opening the can of worms that is our strange relationship.

“I’m Sarah. I’m in Abby’s class. She’s so incredible.”

“I couldn’t agree more,” Ethan kisses my cheek tenderly and I blush.

“I’ll see you next week, okay Sarah?” She nods eagerly and finally leaves.

“So, you want to show me some of your moves or what?” Ethan asks, putting his hands up in a mock boxing stance.

I roll my eyes at him.

“I think it might hurt your pride if I kicked your ass.”

He blanches at my comment.

“Sweetheart, you clearly have skills but I am a man, and you are a woman. I don’t think you could honestly take me.”

My eyes narrow in challenge.

“Oh, it’s on,” I head over to get the boxing gloves and soft helmets, tossing some to Ethan before putting on my own.

“I’m not going to really fight you.” Ethan says with a laugh, holding his boxing gloves like he clearly doesn’t know what to do with them.

“Why? Afraid you’ll be embarrassed when a
girl
wipes the floor with you?” I taunt.

“No, because I’m not going to fight a girl.”

“Ethan, put on the gloves or we’re never having sex again,” I threaten.

His mouth falls open in disbelief.

“I’ll tell you what, if you win I’ll give you a prize, something that you want. And, if I win, you have to be my ‘practice dummy’ for the rest of my self-defense classes.”

Ethan grumbles under his breath, pulling on the helmet and gloves.

I think it goes without saying that he got his ass handed to him.

“Damn, you didn’t have to hit me so hard,” He complains, rubbing his jaw afterwards.

I pull his head down towards me and place a gentle kiss on the bruise forming on his jaw.

“Come on, let me take you home and make you feel better,” I offer.

His arms wrap around me and he captures my lips in a kiss.

“I think you need to let me reaffirm my masculinity after that,” He murmurs against my lips before lifting me up by my thighs.

I wrap my legs around him and let him carry me over to where the mats are stacked in the corner. He lays me down on a small stack of mats and kisses his way down my sweaty body with a growl in the back of his throat.

“I will never get enough of you,” He warns, meeting my eyes with intensity.

I bite back a gasp as I glance towards the door, worried that someone may come in.

“Let's go home macho man, and I’ll let you ‘reaffirm your masculinity’ in the shower with me,” I offer.

              As soon as we’re through the door to my apartment Ethan grabs me around the waist and hauls me against his strong chest.

              “Is it weird that I’m so turned on after you just kicked my ass?”

              “Yes,” I laugh and let him pull my lips to his. I can taste our salty sweat mingling on our lips and I pull back sharply. “I need a shower. I’m so gross.”

              His eyes sparkle with mischief as his arms tighten around me and then he licks my face, like a freaking dog.

              “Ew,” I try to shove him away as he laughs and pulls me closer.

              “You’re right, you’re all sweaty and disgusting. I’d better come give you a hand in the shower.”

              I meet his gaze and there’s a feral hunger in his ice blue eyes that gives me goose bumps. The problem is, I can’t decide if they’re the good kind. I’ve seen that look before, it was the same look Justin used to get sometimes before he would force me to have sex with him. My muscles seize and adrenaline floods my veins, kicking my heart rate into high gear and causing my hands to tremble.

              “Stop,” I gasp, pushing out of his grasp.

He let’s go of me willingly, his eyes glazing over with concern.

              “What’s wrong? Did I do something?” worry coat his words.

As soon as I see that he’s giving me space my body starts to calm down. But, the need to test him, to know for sure lingers.

              “I’m fine. Come take a shower with me.”

Ethan

              I do my best to give her a wide berth, although it’s not easy in the confined space of the shower. She seems okay now, but a hint of unease lingers in her eyes. It makes me sick to my stomach to think that I did something to scare her like that. And, now I’m afraid to touch her in case she doesn’t want me to.

She grabs the body wash and squeezes it into her hands before taking a step toward me and claiming some of the space between us. She uses the soap in her hands to lather my chest and I purr like a damn cat as her fingers massage the soap all over my skin. My cock strains between us but I force myself to behave. She’s anxious and I’m going to let her call the shots here even if it kills me. She takes a handful of suds, reaches down, and starts caressing my balls. Her eyes are fixed on mine, searching for something. I wish I knew what. Holding back from grabbing her and thrusting myself deep inside of her takes more self-control than I knew I possessed. Her other hand wraps around my stiff, throbbing cock and she slides slickly against my soaped up skin. All of my nerve endings are buzzing. As she strokes me she holds my gaze, still searching for whatever she needs to see.

              “Can I touch you?” I choke out.

Her emerald eyes harden and she stops her rhythmic stroking. I’m equal parts bereft and relieved as the stroking stops.

              “What if I don’t want to have sex right now?” Her voice comes out slightly shaky.

If my dick could talk it would let out a string of curses. Thank god it doesn’t have a mouth because my brain knows better. Her wants and needs are above any of my physical needs.

              “Okay,” I hold her gaze so that she can see the sincerity in my eyes.

Her gaze softens somewhat, although she still seems hesitant and withdrawn.

“Really? It’s okay if I get naked and touch you and then tell you I don’t want to have sex with you?” She asks incredulously.

My heart clenches. I get it now.

“I’m not going to pretend like I don’t want to have sex with you. I think it’s obvious that I do,” I gesture towards my erection still standing at attention between us. “But, you don’t ever
owe
me sex. I told you that before baby. If you want, I’ll even take care of you, no repayment required,” I offer.

If I’m not going to get laid, I at least want to taste her sweet pussy. The taste of her is more addicting than crack.

“Okay,” She agrees, still seeming unsure.

I think part of her still expects I’m going to demand she pleasure me. I drop to my knees and hitch her leg over my shoulder. Looking up to see her heavily lidded eyes gazing down at me, I wink at her before turning my attention to my favorite food group. She’s already glistening with desire, her swollen folds begging for my tongue. I let out a low groan of appreciation and then run my tongue along her outer folds. The taste of her is like a shot of adrenaline straight to my cock.

Abby

              All of my nerve endings are like live wires as Ethan sucks my clit between his lips. Oh good god almighty, this man should teach a class on how to eat a pussy. His tongue traces firm circles on my sensitive nub. I’m aching to feel his hard thick cock inside of me. But, I still have to know if he’s going to try to pressure or force me. His tongue is relentless in his pursuit to pleasure me. I look down so that I can watch him lick me. His hand is fisted around his cock, stroking long, rhythmic strokes. I let out a whimper, threading my fingers through his hair. Fuck that is so hot.

              “Ethan, please fuck me,” I plead.

He ignores my request, and starts to probe me deeply with his tongue. I can’t take my eyes off of the sight of him pleasuring himself. I use my grip on his hair to tilt his head back just a little and I grind against his lips and tongue as waves of pleasure crash through me. He lets out a loud gasp and his jaw clenches as I watch him shoot his come onto the shower floor.

              When it’s over we’re both breathing like we ran a marathon.

              “That was so fucking hot,” He says, getting to his feet.

I nod and mewl, not able to form any actual words. He reaches for the soap and washes me gently. If I weren’t so damaged I might be able to admit that there is a real possibility I’m falling in love with Ethan Hodge.

              “So did I pass the test?” He asks casually as he massages the soap into my skin.

I tense at his words. Was it that obvious?

              “I’m sorry,” I murmur. He hasn’t done anything to warrant my suspicion, and yet…

              “It’s okay Red, I understand. I just wanted to make sure that you’re doing alright with everything.”

              “Yes, you’re perfect,” I turn and place a gentle kiss on his lips.