Authors: Bria Starr
I smile. She would try to make light of this situation. That’s my Wren. “I’ll be good. I promise.”
She walks outside to her car and I trail behind, watching her drive away. I pull my sweatshirt on and get into Danielle’s car. No one says a word.
“What happened?” I ask, breaking the silence.
Danielle is driving and looks at me in her rear view mirror. “You called me. Said you needed help
, so I came. It took a while to get you off of your front step and into my car, but we made it.”
“Sorry. Thanks for coming to get me. I don’t know what happened.” I look out the window and watch the snow fly past.
I pass out the second my head touches the pillow, and I don’t wake up until well after noon. I feel more exhausted than ever. I fall back asleep until I hear my phone ring. I ignore it, hoping it will stop, but it doesn’t, so I pick it up and squint through one eye to read that it’s Holly. Ugh. What does she want?
“Hello?”
“Hey there. You still coming out tonight?”
“I’m not going anywhere tonight. I just got out of the hospital.”
“I heard, but it’s Lonely Shadows’ first show at The Frosty Mug, and you promised them you’d come show your support. They’re just about to start.”
Shit.
“All right, I’ll be there. I gotta go.”
“Wait,” I hear her say before I hang up. She is giving me a migraine.
I hit the shower and grab my pomade, fixing my hair before brushing away the horrible taste in my mouth.
I put on a t-shirt, sweatshirt and jeans before grabbing my wallet and keys and heading out the door. I start my truck and scrape the frost off of my windows while it runs. I love that my truck warms up so fast.
I can’t find a parking spot anywhere, and I don’t want to deal with this right now. “Fuck it,” I say as I pull into a no parking space. I pick up my phone and see I have two text messages from Holly asking where I am.
Me: Just
pulled in.
The music is so loud it hurts my head as I get inside. I see Holly standing there, waiting for me. “There you are. You’re so late. They’re already on their second set. No one thought you were coming after last night’s incident, including your precious Wren.”
Wren’s here?
Holly grabs my hand and tugs me across the bar. I let go of her hand and walk over and order a Coors Light. Maybe it’ll help me feel better. Why did I even come?
I walk up and say hi to the guys playing before I feel Holly tugging on me again. I look around to see if I can find Wren, as Holly brings me through the crowd. We get to table and I see her, looking at me with surprise written all over her beautiful face.
And I just stare.
She looks back at me and gives me a small smile. I wish she’d beam at me the way she used to. She’d always give me the biggest smile I’ve ever seen, and her eyes would close as she scrunched up her tiny nose. Holly makes a move to scoot into the booth next to Wren, but I beat her to it. I’m not surprised that she’d try to come between us, but I win. I scoot closer to Wren and take a sip of my beer, before setting it down and pushing it away. It tastes awful. Holly looks to me as if she’s going to start talking, but I turn and look to my other side, towards her.
She looks back at me before speaking. “So how are you?”
“I’m okay, thanks for asking.”
“I can’t believe you’re here. And I can’t believe you can still drink after a night like that.”
“No, you’re right. I only took one sip, and it tastes like shit. I just thought it might help, but it’s not and I can’t drink anymore.”
I stay sitting by Wren, enjoying the comfort of her closeness. She casually makes fun of me, but I can see the concern in her eyes. I’m starting to get a massive headache and a feeling
as if I want to throw up. I stay as long as I can before I have to go home.
“I have to get going. It was good to see you. I’ll see you soon.” I gesture for Holly to let me up and watch her sit back down and start to drink my beer. I look back at Wren. I hate to leave her, but I have to go to bed and sleep this off. Hopefully, I’ll feel better in the morning.
*****
I do want someone in my life. No, not just anyone. Only her. She is what I want. I know it’s too late. I know that Zach likes her, and Aaron likes her...everyone wants what I once had. What I threw away.
I want to see her again, and take her somewhere. Somewhere away from that bar. Somewhere fun. Snowboarding. She’s never been. We talked about going when we were still together over summer. I’m taking her snowboarding.
Me: What are you doing?
Angel: Reading. What are you doing?
Me: What would you say to going out and doing something?
Angel: Are you drunk?
Me: Funny. No.
Angel: What did you have in mind?
Me: Next weekend I want you to come over. I want to take you somewhere.
Angel: Where?
Me: Don’t worry about it. It’s a surprise.
Angel: Do I need to bring anything?
Me: Just your cute ass. And dress warm. VERY warm. I’m talking layers of clothes. Hats, gloves, anything you can think of.
Angel: I’m intrigued.
Me: Saturday. Noon. It’s a date.
Angel: You know you can’t stand me up at your own house, right?
Me: I will never stand you up again.
Angel: I’ll believe that when I see it.
I love that she’s always so willing to go out and do something. I go out to the garage and get down the box with all my snowboarding gear. I dig through it, looking for the smallest stuff I own, stuff from when I was younger that might just fit her. I go through all my Oakley goggles and find the smallest ones, setting them aside. I look through my boards and find the shortest one. I tighten the bindings and take my time waxing it so that it will glide easily for her. We’ll have to rent her some boots because she won’t be able to fit into anything I have. I gather up all the stuff she will need and bring it into the house, setting it on my floor, then I go back out and get my stuff, setting it beside her pile.
This is going to be fun.
*****
I hear her car pull in, and I race to open the front door as she’s running up with a bag stuffed full of her snow gear. The snow is really coming down now—perfect for what I have planned. She has a huge smile lighting her face with excitement, and I grab her, pulling her towards me and taking in the scent of her hair. It smells like fruity flowers. I love how tiny she is compared to me, and how easy it is to pick her up and push her against the wall as I kiss her soft lips. I love her curly brown hair that always seems to be a mess, getting in the way of those big, beautiful brown eyes of hers. I’ve always had a thing for short brunette girls, and her spunky personality is more than I could ever ask for. She can take shit and dish it out just as easily.
She’s my perfect girl. Everything about her.
How could I have been so stupid?
I lead her up to my room
, and she slowly looks around. It takes her a second before her eyes light up and she looks to me.
“We’re going snowboarding?”
“We are. There’s your pile. Get dressed so we can see what will work for you.”
She starts digging through everything,
and pulls my pants on over her long-johns before throwing her jacket over her sweatshirt. I try so hard not to laugh at her as she tries to put her thick socks on, tucking in the extra long pants as she does. She puts on her hat and gloves before holding out the goggles to me, asking for help. I put them on her, tightening them, and take a step back. I chuckle. She looks goofy, awkward, and absolutely adorable. She stands there, awaiting inspection. I take out my phone and snap a picture, saving it as my screen saver so I can see her in this moment every time I open my phone. She looks cute as shit wearing my clothes. I’d like to start taking them off of her, but I refrain myself.
“What?” she asks, innocently.
“Nothing. Nothing at all,” I say, shaking my head. “How does this all feel? Do you think you’ll be fine? And warm enough?”
“Yeah, I think so.”
“All right, strip down and let’s get going.”
She hastily complies
.
I throw all the stuff in the back of my truck and open up her door for her. She looks surprised, but grabs the handle and hops inside. I shut the door, then run around the front and slide in next to her. I can’t get over how good it feels, having her sitting in my truck with me.
I start it
, and we’re off. We make the drive down to Afton Alps, and I run around to open her door for her. Not expecting that, she opens her own door and jumps down before I get there. “You don’t need to open my door for me, Logan.”
“Yes, I know that, but I’d like to,” I say, reaching in the back and grabbing our bags. We dress in the parking lot, grab our boards, and head in to the chalet. I pay for both of our passes for the day as well as boots for her. She insists on paying for herself, but it’s a date
, and I owe her. She deserves to be taken out and paid for. She always insists on paying for half of everything so I wouldn’t be surprised if this is the first time someone paid for her, or the first time someone drove her. She always seems to be the one driving everyone around and offering to give people who have been drinking too much a ride home. She’s always taking care of everyone else, and it’s time that I start taking care of her whether she likes it or not.
We walk outside to where the instructor is giving information. I explained everything to her on the way down in detail, but a visual might be more what she needs. She listens intently on everything he says. When that mundane lesson is over, I bring her over to the rope that brings us up to the bunny hill for a practice run. She’s not afraid to try something new, that’s for sure.
“Hold on tight and don’t let go of this rope until you’re all the way up, okay?”
“Okay, but it’s the bunny hill. It’s not
as if it’ll take very long to get up there.”
“Just don’t let go.”
I show her how to scoot across with one foot on the board and one foot pushing off of the snow.
“Ready?”
“I’m ready.”
I grab the rope, letting it tow me up as I turn to make sure she’s on. She holds onto it as it starts to bring her up behind me, and I can see her gripping it
, but her body starts to pull away. I watch her body turn as she holds on for dear life while she twists and falls on her back, still grasping onto the rope, and still being dragged up the hill. I break out in laughter. That is the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever seen in my life.
“Why are you laughing at me?”
“Let go, Wren. You’re at the top. Let go,” I call to her. She instantly releases it and lies on her back. I watch her try to get up before going over and helping her.
“Stop laughing,” she hisses.
“I can’t help it.”
We go down the bunny hill and back up the tow rope until she gets used to it. We try a slightly bigger hill, and when she does well on that one, after only a few spills, I take her to the chair lift.
I go over how we’re going to get on and off the chair lift, and we watch several groups do it before she feels ready to give it a try. She misses the cue, and I have to practically lift her up and set her on the chair, all while making sure my ass is firmly planted. Feet dangling, I look over at her to see what she’s thinking. It’s hard to tell when those goggles are covering half of her beautiful face. The snow is falling lightly, and her hair is covered in the fresh flakes.
She’s breathtaking.
She must sense I’m looking at her because she turns around as best as she can and shouts, “This is fun! But I’m so nervous to get off of this. I don’t want to fall off, or miss my exit and have to go for another round.”
“I’ll make sure you get off just fine. I promise.” She nods her head and looks up to the top of the hill. I grab her arm and ready my feet to slide off. She watches me and does the same. I start to jump off, taking her with me
, and she slides right by me. She keeps going, and I realize she can’t stop. She falls back on her ass. Hard. I slide over to her.
“Good job.
If you can’t stop, you fall back on your ass. You did perfect.” I help her up. “Are you ready to go down the big one?”
“I think so.”
We ease our way to the edge, and I hold onto her hand as we start to descend. We start off slow, and then start to pick up speed. I let go of her gloved hand as she holds them out and bends her knees. That’s my girl.
We’re smooth sailing until a kid cuts in front of her, throwing her off. The front of her board hits the snow and she is thrown forward, tumbling down and rolling off to the side. She’s still rolling down the hill when her body spins and she starts going head first down the hill. After making sure she is okay, I can’t help but laugh. Her arms and legs are spread eagle as she continues sliding down the hill. It’s hysterical.
I am truly in love with this woman.
I love her. I love everything about her. I always have, and I didn’t realize it until this very moment. I am in love, for the first time in my life. A real love. There was always something there, I could feel it, but I never knew what it was. I just wanted to have fun and live life, but I could have been doing all those things…with her. Just because I’m in love or in a committed relationship doesn’t mean the fun ends. It means I get to share it with that someone.